Yippee!! Good to have you back again!! :D
Excellent next step in the story. Lindi running downstairs in her nightie... just the image that captures what I think makes her such a delightful character - that innocence which at once makes her quite tragic and slightly hilarious :) And I liked the little moment with Lindi and Remus's Dad - one of those subtle touches that make you such a talented writer :)
Although I did notice one 'sidewalk' which could do with being 'pavement' if you want to keep up your admirable job of making it sound like England ;)
Well done, and I can't wait for the next chapter!!! (Especially after reading how long you've had it planned!)
Author's Response: :D Hiya, Pen! Sorry for the delayed response. My computer was out of wack and had to go to the shop, then, my internet service has been in and out for the past two days...>.< There is little more frustrating than trying to post a response and having the stupid page can not be found box pop up when you hit submit. grrrrr...
Anyway, I think it's fixed now. *hopes* So, Thank you so much for saying you think Lindi is delightful. *beams* Ooo...are you from England? Well, must change sidewalk to pavement...*makes note* I definitely want to make it sound like England. Thank you. And it's good to be back! I hope I don't drop off the planet for months on end again. :*) Yes, the chapter has been planned for so long, I'm having a hard time finding the notebook I wrote it in. >.< Oh, I wish I were more organized. I'll find it though. It has to be in my closet. Of course, it could take a week to find anything in there, but...I will! Even if I don't, I've had those scenes playing over and over in my head for so long, I probably don't even need to see what I wrote. :) Now I just have to get it typed. Of course, I have to link the different scenes together from scratch. That's the part that takes so long. But I'm working on it. /rambling.
Thank you for reviewing. After so long, it's good to know some of my readers are still with me. :D
An update!!!!! Huzzah and hurrah!! :) I'm afraid I'd rather stopped checking, but nearly made up for happy I was to find a new chapter! And just as brilliant as ever. You use the episode with Snape and Sirius so well, unfold all the implications... I think all of us feel the frustration of Remus' situation almost as much as he does, thanks to the way you show the tensions of his having to lie and his relationships and responsibilities to other people. It's very moving, the sudden maturity and bleakness forced upon them, probably the most carefree of any HP characters except the Weasley twins. All the more sad as we know the eventual end of all of them. There are few stories as tragic as that of the maurauders, and you're capturing it brilliantly. And that ending! Lindi's so lovely... aah, brilliant work as usual.
Author's Response: :*) Please don't stop checking. I know it can seem like the story is abandoned, but unless I get hit by a truck, it won't be. ;) And this is such a fantastic review. We clearly think the very same way about the Marauders. There story just captivated me and broke my heart. I fell in love with them instantly upon reading the Shrieking Shack scene. Of course, I'd already fallen in love with Remus. ;*) Thank you so much for saying I've captured their story. No greater compliment I could get. I hope I can continue to live up to it. Thanks, Pen sieve.
TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER!!!!
Aside from that, good chapter! Great typical Siriusness - although I don't know if I'm imagining it but I'm still sniffinf a sense of mystery about him...
And I realized today what I lvoe most about Lindi; she's so sincere, so unpretentious - some of that's her naivety I suppose, but it's lovely. And the funniest moments with her are when, just for a moment she DOES try to act in a certain way, and is such a bad liar or embarrasses her in some way. AAH, I won't have Remus making her cry any more!!
Author's Response: Um...so what are you trying to say? That he should tell her? >.> lol Mystery? About Sirius? Hm... He is a mysterious sort of guy, isn't he? :)
*bearhugs Pen Sieve for saying that about Lindi* Lindi really does better when she is true to herself and doesn't try to be what she isn't . Really...
Just remember, Remus is hurting too. :( Thank you, Pen Sieve. I just love that you care about Lindi.
Where do I begin? I'll try not to go on forever, but... About two weeks ago I discovered this story, liked the look of the blurb, and decided to give it a look. And I have never been so hooked! I tried to ration myself to a chapter a day, to make it last, but to no avail! I've finally finished up to Chapter 52, and I am just so impressed! The Mauraders are PERFECT. You manage to give them all the flaws that JK hints at, but still make them very lovable, not to mention HILARIOUS. Too many brilliant bits of maurading you've invented to mention... Your Peter is especially well crafted. You don't make him secretly evil. James' and Lily's relationship is just right. I was a bit skeptical of Lindi at first... OK, she's beautiful, hurrah hurrah, lucky her... but her personality is so endearing and has her own little flaws and.... aaah, it's great :) All the suspense and the tension leading up to their first kiss was brilliantly done. Well restrained! Reminded me of 'The Remains of the Day'. Aah, I could go on for ages, but I don't want to hog all the room. I loved Lucius the Lecher. I loved the trip to the forest and the 'inter-house unity' events. Very belated in the Potter universe, methinks! One little problem - how did Adamson mange to remain DADA Professor for more than one year? It would be annoying having to worry about swapping him all the time, I guess. He was fun too :D Well done!! Can't wait for more!!
Author's Response: Oh, my gosh, how did I miss this wonderful review? O.o I must have been in the list for the last chapter only. :*/ Please forgive me for taking so long after you made such effort to tell me what you think of the story. I'm very honored and happy that you are enjoying it so much. Haha, you aren't the first to be skeptical of Lindi. I'm thrilled that you were open-minded about her and don't hate her. :D I'm sorry to say I haven't read The Remains of the Day, but I take that to be a compliment. Re: Adamson...Having started this story well before the release of book six, I failed to realize how early Voldemort started his evil deeds and so, I was probably late in having the DADA position being cursed. It is one of several timeline discrepancies you will find in MoB due to information revealed in the last two books. *sigh* I tried so hard to be canon compliant, but JKR didn't coordinate her books with me so they worked with MoB. :P lol But that is why he got to hang out more than one year. Although, I'm not completely sure I'm the only one that was confused, because if I remember book six correctly, and Voldemort came while Dumbledore was Headmaster, I might not be that far off, since I always got the impression that Dumbledore took over shortly before Remus was accepted. That was the impression from Remus' tale in the Shrieking Shack, but later she seems to imply that he was there much earlier. >.< Anyway, I have a couple of issues with JKR's timelines, but alas, she's the boss. So, I accept that mine is a bit off from canon in a few places. :P I was so far into the story, that I just couldn't make myself work them out to stay completely canon compliant. /long and rambling reason for Adamson, but also for a couple other things, like not knowing Lily and Snape were best buddies, the Prank occurring before O.W.L.s. >.< etc...] :)
Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Pen Sieve.
Aaah, I felt like Remus had been leading up to that afternoon on the rock for years!! Well, chapters, anyway... one interesting side-effect of writing it quite slowly is the suffering feels all that more drawn out!
A little cube of my heart went out to Remus, finally letting go at the beach, and then his mother trying to coddle him when he got back...
Remus' situation.... Ooh, it's so impossible... When you have to face things has horrific as Will's death, and all the suffering of the war, the best solice is in knowing you're living, and loving, to the full... and yet that's exactly what he can't do :'( He's wedged in the most painful of circumstances. But you do convey it wonderfully :) Never taking the easy way out...
I loved the banter between the Mauraders, as usual, especially with James and Lily - and I got all excited about your locations again! Some of my family live in Bath, and I've always felt it should have wizards living in it - all those rows of slightly strange shaped houses!
Keep up the good work! :)
Author's Response: *sigh* I know...Someone commented on the forums about how drawn out the suffering is, and she was not happy with it. :*/ I do hope for those who start reading and go straight through (if anyone ever does once the story is finished) it will not seem so. When you have weeks between 'sad' chapters, I'm sure it does seem like he's been wallowing in sorrow for years! :*( I should never have started posting the story until it was complete. >.< Oh, well, spilt milk... :*)
Wow, you have stated exactly what Remus is feeling and experiencing. I'm so glad that comes through! Thank you! Ahhhhh....I'm so jealous you've been to these places! I'm not sure how long it took me to decide where Sirius' flat was, but after much research, I just fell in love with the pictures of Bath, and I thought there should be wizards there too! Ha... Thank you so much, Pen Sieve. I will certainly try! :)
Lily knowing is some relief - and the blood thinning is an excellent twist! But eurghhh, his dilema is unbearable! I wish he would tell her - I wish he would let her decide. But I can see why him - being him - doesn't. Aaack, you're conveying it painfully well.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you Pen Sieve! I’m so glad the emotion is coming through. That is key, so thanks. And yay for some relief! And glad you like that little twist. I tried to get that in a long time ago, and it was pointed out by a painfully honest reviewer >.> *ahem* that it was awkwardly done. So I took it out and now I’ve put it in here. I think it does work better here, so…*thanks NoxSomnium* :*) He absolutely SHOULD tell her… >.> The little angel on his shoulder keeps saying, “honesty is the best policy,” but he keeps over-thinking it, doesn’t he? Poor Remus; poor Lindi; poor Marauders…*sigh* It really isn’t a very happy tale, is it? <.< *brainstorms for some bliss* *fears the possibility of more angst* O.O ...poor MoB readers…poor moonymaniac who will probably be hated by readers. >.> What’s left of them. <.< :*) Thank you for reviewing, Pen Sieve. I truly appreciate it.
Two chapters at once!! And they came either side of my birthday too, so I'm taking it personally :D
I'm getting more and more intrigued as to where this story is going to go... with every chapter there's this shift to somewhere slightly darker, more adult - it seemed natural that it was time for someone important to die - but it's still a little heartbreaking, remembering the innocence of earlier chapters. I also don't envy you having to finally decide the fate of Lindi and Remus...
Poor Lindi, in her zombielike trance... Somehow the suggestion that she might have been given a draft of something just made me feel more powerfully that was her natural to reaction to that last blow.
That girl needs a big hug and a box of kittens!!
Lovely stuff :)
Author's Response: Oh, I've missed your birthday by a lot! :*( Happy belated! I'm glad to know you are intrigued and yes, the story is getting darker, as it must. :( Killing off characters is not something I have looked forward to doing. My natural inclination is to have everyone live happily ever after, but unfortunately, that is unrealistic even in a fantasy war. Besides, JKR has made that out of the question, barring full on total alternate universe. Don't think I haven't considered it, (Sirius lives, James and Lily somehow were only missing...) but I don't think anyone would approve of that much alteration of canon. Apparently, people were dropping like flies in the first war, so, I had to start killing people! As to the fate of Lindi and Remus...well, that was decided years ago. ;) However, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about revealing their fate. <.< Of course, the way this story is going, that will be years from now and I'll be so ready to get it over it won't worry me anymore. lol And yes, Lindi does need a hug, but no kittens. She's a canine sort of girl! ;)
Thank you so much, Pen Sieve. And sorry it took me so long to reply.
Ahh, yippee, an update!
What a wicked, but inevitable blow you cast upon Remus' future! In recent chapters, Remus seems buffeted from person to person, from each side of the question. Such an exhausting battle - all the more so for being so secret! Will was very persuasive for that sad conclusion that Remus suddenly seems more and more bound for :( I love the way you have the different character represent all the different arguments that Remus must have to contend with himself. Sirius for wariness, Lily for passion, Will for protectiveness. Whatever happens to Remus, I know you will let it be right. Which I wish was the same as happy... :) Great stuff as always, and I went to Llanberis last weekend and can confirm what a splendid setting it is for emotional conversations and club chairs!
Author's Response: Oh, my gosh, you didn't? Are you From the UK or just traveling? I'm so jealous. I spent hours trying to decide where Remus would live, searching the internet, and when I came across that area, well...the pictures were so lovely. It had to be there. *has learned quite a bit during her MoB research* :) I would like to visit sometime, if I can work up the courage to cross the ocean again. *hates flying* *not crazy about the idea of being in the middle of the ocean for days on end either* *tried not to look at endless horizon when on a cruise* *drank a lot* <.< lol Oh, that is so cool that you were there. :D I hope you had more happy conversations than poor Remus. ;) As to the story...*eep* You know I will let it be right....*pressure* I will try my best. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it, even though it definitely wasn't happy. Thank you so much for letting me know, Pen Sieve. I really appreciate it, a lot.
Ohhhh, that was heart-breaking. You could feel exactly how each word each one of them said impaled the other one so much :( You're very brave to allow them to suffer, I think I'd lose heart and make everyone ride pink unicorns off into the sunset ;) The newspaper article was a brilliant idea, it couldn't have illustrated Remus's turmoil better. I await your next update with as much eagerness as ever. You're a real inspiration to write as much as you do, for so long - never criticize your length or 'rambleyness'; I know I'm always longing for more!
Author's Response: :) Thank you so much, Pen Sieve. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Haha, pink unicorns...LOL Maybe I'm not brave, but a masochist! <.< I'm evil and I like seeing them suffer. *muwahahah* >.> Nahhhh... I hate when poor Remus suffers. Truly I do. As you know, I blame JKR. ;) Still, I'm so glad you want to read more. Thank you. I'm trying to give you more.
As to the update I had promised would be coming very soon, I have it ready, but the site will not let me post it. >.< I have been trying all week. Actually, I have been trying for three days to respond to this review, but the site keeps tossing me out and saying I'm not authorized. *sigh* The admins are working on fixing the problems from the site server switch. Hopefully it will be cleared up soon. I'm so frustrated. I finally had a quick update and nooo....I can't post it. It's bad enough that it won't show my updates when I do make them. It still says October 2 2009...>.< *big sigh* Oh well, I'm trying. Hopefull, it will let me post this reply; If it does, I'll try again to get the story updated, but I still can't even post on the forums to let them know I'm having this trouble. Others are though, so they know about it. Anyway, I just wanted everyone to know I wasn't just being a liar. :*( I do have the chapter ready. I'll get it up as soon as the site lets me.
Just a note to say you haven't been forgotten! I hope we can look forward to some more moments of bliss, for Remus and the story, one day :) I just read a quote from Virgil, 'Optima dies... prima fugit' (The best days are the first to flee) in a lovely novel called 'My Ántonia' by Willa Cather, and it reminded me so much of MoB I had to drop it by :)
Good luck with your writing! It is waited upon by very patient ears and, as ever, a lot of admiration!!
Author's Response: You are so very kind. :) First, that is such a poignant quote; it makes me so sad. Second, that something so lovely reminds you of poor neglected ol MoB is so flattering. Thank you, Pen. I can't tell you how much I appreciate the encouragement and kind thought.
MoB is not as neglected as it might seem. I am writing, but life is hectic. I have a good bit of the upcoming chapter written and now need to type it up to see where I am. The way I go, it might be at the word limit, even if the chapter isn't 'finished' as I intend it. Anyway, I'll stop rambling and actually start typing it up while I have a little rare free time. I just wanted to say thank you, again, Pen Sieve, for the oh so sweet and tender poke.
Gosh...I keep looking at that quote. I wish I'd used that as my title instead of MoB, though it wouldn't abbreviate nearly so easily. ;) But, much as I adore the banner Katie made for me, I've been considering a new one, to fit with the darker mood of the story right now, and that fits with the idea I've had about the Marauders cherishing the moments of bliss because they are rare and fleeting. *sigh* Okay, I'm doing it again. Rambling over...back to 'work'. Thank you, thank you, Pen. :D
Aha, wonderful... the memory removal was a fantastic idea, although so tragic to see that glimmer of Lindi as she was - bright and hopeful and free. I'm so glad to see you return - we always had faith in you! I agree with southern_pride: best fan fiction I've ever read! This is the sort of fanfiction people write fanfiction about :)
Author's Response: Oh, my...I can't think of a nicer thing someone could say to a fanfic writer. :*D Thank you so much, Pen Sieve. *imagines MoB fanfic* ........ *laughs out loud* I'm also glad you liked the chapter and noted that about Lindi. :( *feels a little guilty about how she's treating poor Lindi* :*) Alas, it has to be that way. I wonder if JKR felt guilty about how she treated poor Remus. :( Okay, I'm rambling when I need to finish my coffee and get going. Too much to do, if I want to get time to write later. So, again, thank you for the wonderful words. I really appreciate them.
Aaah! No no NO!
I've been gripped by this story for the last few hours, and chapter 14 won't come up! I click on it, and it displays 15. Does this happen to anyone else? The suspense is killing me!
But anyway... You've written this brilliantly - you've managed to avoid a lot of clichés and you haven't turned Snape into a sickly romantic melancholic or Hermione into a glamorous super star. All the characters are very true to the book; their personalities, the things they say... which are often hilarious! Well done!
Author's Response: AASDLFKJDFLKJH that is SO my bad! i'm sorry! it's fixed now :)
and thank you so much for reading -- i'm so happy to hear that everyone seems in character, as that is always my worst fear xD can't wait to hear what you think of the next few chapters!
Wow, I loved that. Your writing is always very subtle, you're quite economic with description and unyarning character's thoughts - which is all to your credit. The... hmm... understatments of your understatedness are so much more powerful than a paragraph of ponder... The little bits - the beginning with 'I'm sorry', their annual meeting... It was the perfect form, said so simply all the things that make thier relationship interesting; the awkwardnes, everything always slightly unforfilled, and yet always returning to each other. Great stuff :)
So far, so brilliant. The hints of this relationship in the HP books have always interested me more than nearly any other relationship, and I'm so glad someone has decided to write it. And write it so well! Your writing is wonderfully subtle, everyone's character suggested by the smallest of words. The voice of Dumbledore is unsentimental and very honest - so many would try to excuse this beloved character with justifications for his thoughts and actions every other line. There's an excellent sort of drollness about him, a convincing trait for an early Dumbledore, intellectually insatiable but still a teenager. And it gives a strange seductive, menacing feel to the proceddings...
Aberforth and Arianna were very well done. The closeness between them that JK describes is illustrated beautifully here.
Grindelwald fits the role JK made from him brilliantly, and his interactions with Dumbledore are convincing. Their unthinkable conversations intellectualizing their - well, it's racism isn't it? - seem so smooth, so real it's disturbing. You can understand how Dumbledore came to rationalize things.
And the romantic suggestions between them are potent, in all that evocative scenery.
Gagh, I'm gushing. I can't think of any constructive criticisms, sorry.
Please write more - this is the most lucid, the most infective piece I've found on the site so far. I shall endeavor to loo kat your other stuff :) Thanks for writing
Nicely going so far :) You write in a friendly tone which suits Hogwarts - so far. I'm intrigued to know how this story will develop. Just a few grammar niggles, like your use of apostrophes... e.g 'Potter's' when you mean 'Potters'. Sorry, very petty, but good to get right! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing and for pointing out the little mistakes, I'll go have a look at them now. Thank you!
That was so lovely, and very beautiful. You voice Snape's conflicts very well, he makes absolute sense. Well done :)