I've been out of the fandom for a year or so, and I'm starting to have major withdrawals, so please bare with me as I ease myself back in and attempt to finish the sequel to the story I started almost 5 years ago. . . .
the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return
This story is so original, major kudos to you! The only question I have is doesn't Todd recognize her as the Hermione from the films he's in?? Since he resembles Draco so....shouldn't the real Hermione resemble the actress that Todd knows as well?? Anyways, I really enjoyed it!!
Great Chapter, and I'm glad my question was answered! On to the next chapter:D
This story is enthralling! Oh and sorry about ff.net. I have never and will never post anything there. fictionalley and MNFF is it for me. Sorry that they're giving you a hard time, just forget them, fa and MNFF are way better anyways!!
So for some reason I thought that Hermione and Todd would be hooking up...dunno why but I am much more excited if it's really Hermione and Draco! Woot! Great job again!!
This was a great chapter, I'm glad you let Draco see the picture!! Hurry and update, you're doing a fantabulous job so far!
Great chapter!! This story is awesome, I am so pleased that you updated! Thank you, and keep 'em coming!!!
Wonderful story!! It is absolutely captivating! It's definitely keeping me on the edge of my seat, hurry and update please!
This story is absolutely enrapturing! I love the POV it is written from. Not many people can pull stories like this off. Excellent work!
Alrighty then. I'm not sure where to start. One thing I think that this story is lacking is DETAIL. JKR is famous for her elaboration, and all of us as authors HAVE to do her justcie by at least trying to elaborate. "Harry was the most ugliest guy alive right now," has no emotion in it. To me, it just feels too blunt considering Harry just declared that he hated her. Another thing, more of an FYI, authors notes embedded in the story are very distracting. They are there mainly so that you can remind us of something. By reminding us that Ron was in the hospital...okay. But reminding us that Harry is hot? not so much. (Trust me, we all know he's hot;)) So I don't mean to flame at all, and I'm just trying to help, but think about those things, and I'm sure that your stories will improve.
Can we say depressing? That was sad!! I really like the start of this story though, I just hope this is the low point in Hermione's life!! A few mistakes that I caught throughout however: Punctuation in quote marks should end with a comma NEVER a period (unless a ! or ? mark) EX: "Good morning, mum," said Hermione. NOT "Good morning, mum." said Hermione. There were several places where there were periods instead of commas. Sorry, I am a grammer nut. Anyhooo, great story! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: I know it was depressing; I was not in my favorite place in the world when I wrote it (this was back in July). It's probably a refection of how I was feeling. I promise it won't stay that way though. I mean, to a certain extent it will, because I have to accurately show Hermione’s feelings- she wouldn't all the sudden be happy just because I was- but life for her will improve ^_^! Thanks, I don't always catch all my spelling/grammar mistakes. I catch them on every other persons work, but never my own, 'tis a curse! I went back and edited that though, once again, thanks for pointing it out! Also, I appreciate your review!
Ohhh, a mystery, I'm liking this story so far! The only complaint....it was too short! Update soon, you've got talent!
Author's Response: The next chapter is longer...
Hey guys! Just thought yall would like to know that the sequel "Agapanthus" is now up!! Thanks again for your reviews, hope to hear from you all very soon!
*ducks flying tomatoes* I apologize for the wait! I am done with the next chapter and I just found out that MN is having a "Christmas Break" and they are not accepting chapters/stories until 12/27. I was unaware of that, and was planning on submitting it today! (12/22) I'm really sorry! I am leaving for Arizona on the 26th and wont be back until early Jan *ducks more and more flying tomatoes* I'm really sorry, but I promise I have not forgotten about all of you! Expect more in Jan. Happy Holidays:)
*ducks flying tomatoes* I apologize for the wait! I am done with the next chapter and I just found out that MN is having a "Christmas Break" and they are not accepting chapters/stories until 12/27. I was unaware of that, and was planning on submitting it today! (12/22) I'm really sorry! I am leaving for Arizona on the 26th and wont be back until early Jan *ducks more and more flying tomatoes* I'm really sorry, but I promise I have not forgotten about all of you! Expect more in Jan. Happy Holidays:)
Your characterizations are spot-on, nice work! I really like this so far, and I loved how you ended the story too!! Excellent, I'm off to the next chapter!
Another wonderful chapter...I think that I have read this story before...is it on fictionalley?? Anyhow, it's great!
Yep, I have definitely read this somewhere before, but it's so good that I'm going to re-read it all! Great write!
Nice start to this story...some suggestions however? Your sentance strusture seems a bit, well how do I put this nicely...dull? No, just undeveloped. It seems too short and choppy, just try to elaborate more. Something that might help, to maybe use more commas for character insight, or some ellipses every now and then? I think that by stating too much detail can sometimes either make or break an author, like JKR-she is famous for her intricate detail, but it's enriching the literature. It seems that your detail is more...she walked to the window. She opened the curtains. She had a towel on. She opened the window. Now don't get me wrong because this is NOT a flame on your writing style, because everyone's is different. I'm just saying...Spice it up! Make it enticing to read! If this is your first story, than props to you, because I know my first story wasn't pretty. So keep at, you're off to a great start with an intriging idea! Good luck!!!
So Herminoe just gives in without a fight? And Harry stands there not doing anything? Hmmm, interesting. I''m intrigued to see where you're going with this, do continue....