Heyyy, Paige! Look who's baaaaack! Yes, you'd better get those dancing shoes on, because here comes a Russia review! XD

Another fabulous chapter, of course, I loved so many things about it!

Luna especially, is a big sticking point for me. Every time I read Luna, in anything, I keep waiting and waiting for her to go out of character. But in this fic, she is just... gah she is an amazing Luna! You don't try too hard to keep up with the idea that everyone has of Luna being so 'dreamy' and 'loopy' because you are exploring her character and giving her more depth than just the ditzy character we see in JKRs work. I love your Luna, Paige!

Draco. Wow. So arrogant and just exactly as I always saw Draco to be:

”Speechless, eh...I like you more already...not that I don't have that effect on most girls in this school...just the price I pay for being so...me”

That is a really great Draco line =D The way he and Ginny interact in this chapter is wonderful, you have really got inside Draco’s head and shown us how he ticks.

You also have a true gift for subtlety. I mean, you finish this chapter and get the distinct idea that Ginny has a serious thing for Draco. And you never even say she does! I think it has a lot to do with the way Ginny is so defensive:

"Oh...you...just because I fell for your stupid prank first year doesn't mean I'm going to do it again so...so...don't even try!”

You do have Draco saying that Ginny has a thing for him, and she denies it so furiously we know that it must be true :-p

The way you have structured this chapter gives the reader so many different view points on the same story. Most authors choose one main character to focus on, and stick to that the whole story through. But you show us several sub-plots through the eyes of nearly every character mentioned!

All in all, a fantastic chapter, but I will stop waffling now as I imagine your feet are getting rather tired from the “review dance” XD

~Russia xxxxx

Author's Response:

Are you kidding? You have a song from The King and I playing in my head!

Shall we dance?
On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
Shall we dance?

Followed by a song from My Fair Lady

I could have danced all night!
I could have danced all night!
And still have begged for more.

Tired of someone who notices details and has an amazing insight into characterization and dialogue? To quote a dead sexy pirate who won't be seen for a few chapters yet: INCONCEIVABLE! 

*glomp*

That was an amazing story! i really didnt want it to end, i'm very glad there is a sequel to look forward to! i have been reading this story for so long, how will i cope without it?! more fanfiction! Great story! Russia xxx

Author's Response: ill0;k4;km0;, Russia! Thank you so much for not wanting it to end. You're right, there's always more fan fics to read, and (at least for now) I'm the most prolific author on the site. :D

I really liked this prolouge, The fight with the Slytherins was really well done. You are a really good writer, the things you write all seem so real, I love Lily's character in this.

A few nit-picks though! Lily wouldn't have braces in the wizarding world. Even Hermione, who had dentists as parents, didn't wear her brace at school. If she had a problem with her teeth, she simply would have gone Madam Pomfry to fix it. having braces myself, I know they don't work very well unless you have them tightened every six weeks or so, and that isnt really something you could do while at Hogwarts. You also say about Petunia that she had "thick blonde hair" which we know from Canon inst strictly true, (unless of course she dyed it) and you say that Lily and Petunia hated each other. As far as I can tell, that is in no way true. Petunia may have thought her sister was a freak, but as far as I know, Lily always loved her sister, even if they grew apart after Lily began Hogwarts. Also, you have Alice as her best friend. A fic of mine recently got rejected for the same thing, Alice Longbottom wasn't in the same year as Lily, she was actually older. I appreciate that you can't change her character now, i just thought I;d tell you for future reference. Watch out for those Americanisms as well "Realized" doesn't have a 'z'

I do really like the idea of the whole 'transformation' thing for Lily though, it is something I have never seen before.

I am very very sorry that my reviews may seem a little harsh, but I really do love your writing and am only trying to help you improve! and I look forward to reading the next few chapters! Sorry again if I seem harsh!

Russia xxxxx

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the writing, and never feel bad about constructive criticism! This first chapter was written so, so long ago that I'm sure it has a lot of problems. I can hardly read it myself anymore because there are many, many things that ought to be changed. I'll have to bear it and take a look to fix what you suggested! :)

Hey, Katty =)

I really liked this story, well done! I see you already have a lot of very detailed reviews for this story so I won’t bore you with repeating everything the others have already said!

The way you waited until the end to reveal her name was very effective and you handled it really well. Your descriptions were just

Awww i'm so gutted that its over!
More sequels please!!! this story should NEVER end!
Russia xxx

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for telling me that! I've wanted to write a sequel, even tried to cast an writer Unbreakable Vow that I'd do it (thankfully it wasn't an actual magic spell or I'd be dead, LOL), but the Muse has eluded me. I'm still (as of now) the most prolific writer on the site, though, so there are plenty of more stories for you to read if you like my style!

wow that was really powerful amd really sad it was amazing

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing!

I got the link for this story from you beta boards banner. I really enjoyed it, it was a great one shot and i love Ginny/Draco's! (Love the banner too!)
Russia xxx

Author's Response: Thanks so much! ^^

I really enjoyed the twist you gave the poem, it made me smile, especially the "He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,
And filled everyone’s stockings, even Percy the jerk." This made me giggle.
I maybe would have added a few words to some of the lines to improve the flow for instance "Away to the window I flew like a fly
I went so fast I thought I’d die." I would change that last line to "Thought that i'd die" As i think this extra word improves the flow of this line. But I really enjoyed how you took a well known poem and made it totally your own.I loved some of the words you thought to rhyme! Well done, and keep writing!
Russia xxxxx

I really liked the plot of this story. I was surprised at how much time you could fit into just one chapter; it was written very well. The gap between one year and the next was very smooth, it flowed excellently. I think you described Andromeda’s family and school experience very well. I liked how you described the differences between the three sisters, and how Andromeda’s parents felt about how different she was. “My parents were worried. I was unique. I was different.” I love how this line describes her parents; I think it shows, very simply, how her parents are feeling.

Andromeda’s characterisation was superb. It really was perfect, things she said, “My sisters turned their backs on me. I was completely ignored by Bella in school, and eventually, when she arrived, Cissy acted like I was nothing but a bit of dust on the flood, nothing better than the “Mudblood scum” that roamed the school.” This described the family bond excellently; I loved the simile you used here, about the dust and the flood, and how you added the “Mudblood scum” to show how disappointed her family were with her.

The only critique I have for this story is to do with your word choice and flow. “They would do anything to ruin my happiness, yeah?” I don’t really like the “yeah?”-part on the end of this sentence; I don’t think it fits in with the feel of the rest of the story. If you wanted to include it I think it would have fitted better at the beginning of the sentence: “Yeah, they would do anything to ruin my happiness,” or I would just take it out completely. “One I could tell my secrets, or tell stories about my family.” To me, this sentence didn’t make a lot of sense, I think there is a “to” missing “One I could tell my secrets, or tell stories about my family to” I might even re-write this sentence to something along the lines of “One I could tell my secrets to, someone to tell stories about my family”. I’m not sure, it just didn’t sound quite right to me. “I sat there, slightly gaping, and realized then that there was much more to Ted Tonks than what met the eye.” I think this sentence would have more effect if you split it up. I sat there, gaping slightly. I realized then, that there was so much more to Ted Tonks than what met the eye”. I think having the shorter sentence at the beginning adds more effect; I also changed around the order of “gaping” and “slightly” as I feels it makes more sense like that.

Other than that, I loved some of the words you chose, and your use of similes was fantastic “the spotless puppy in a world of Dalmatians, it seemed.” I particularly liked that one. Your description of rain was also beautiful, and I loved the ending.

I really enjoyed this story.

Russia xxxxx

Author's Response: Your review is quite possibly the best review that I have read, and subsequently received. It is honestly, what seems to me, the prototype of everything that a review should be. Thank you so much for the constructive criticism, pointing out particular things you liked, and characterisation comments! It is GREATLY appreciated.

wow. how tear jerking was that? havent cried like that in a while! that was fantastic, i really enjoyed it!
Russia xxx