Hello! I'm so happy to be part of the MNFF community! I've enjoyed reading many stories here, and look forward to posting many of my own.
What might you want to know about me? Well, as for hobbies, I play two instruments, dance, and keep turkeys and chickens. Of course, I love to read and write, too. Why else would I be here? ;)
~*~
I've received several questions about the timeline of my story Eyes Wife Open, so I'd thought I'd do my best to explain it here. Although it may sound counterintuitive that Dudley's grandchild could be at Hogwarts at the same time as Harry's children, it actually is possible. Here's how.
In Eyes Wide Open, Dudley's ex-girlfriend shows up on his doorstep with their seven-month-old daughter in July of 1997, when Dudley is eighteen. This means that the baby, Ella, was born in December of 1996.
Ella gives birth to Dandelion in August of 2011. This means that Ella got pregnant right around her fourteenth birthday.
According to HP Lexicon, James Sirius started Hogwarts in 2016, Albus Severus started Hogwarts in 2017, and Lily Luna started Hogwarts in 2019. Since Dandelion was born in 2011, that means she started school in 2022. At that point, James would have been a seventh year, Albus would have been a sixth year, and Lily Luna would have been a fourth year. Thus in Dandelion's first year, all of Harry's children were in school with her.
Alright, I suppose I don't hate you. I wrote my previous review, submitted it, and found a new chapter waiting for me. Ah, heaven! But I do still expect frequent updates!
I liked this chapter a lot, but I admit I liked Chapter 10 better. I did of course enjoy all the Blaise/Harper in this chapter, but the best line in it probably is, "Bilbo beamed and bowed, but not before muttering something that sounded suspiciously like, “About time, too”." I think he's a lot like how Kreacher would have turned out if he lived in better circumstances.
Author's Response: Updates are pretty regular, one a week usually. Gotta love Bilbo! :D
I have quite the guilty conscious! I'm been reading and loving this story from the start, but I previously haven't spent the two minutes needed to tell you how much I like your story. It's one of my very favorites.
It's rather fun (although slightly exasperating) to read the thoughts of Blaise and Harper. Your writing is very good -- I can literally feel the tension between the two. They like each other so much, yet they can't see what the other person would seem in them. Sometimes, though, I just want to bust into your story and knock some sense into your two characters.
It's also so nice to read something about a non-cliched Slytherin. Everyone just seems to assume that they're all evil, just because of what eleven-year-old Ron (from the most Gryffindor of Gryffindor families) said in PS/SS. I'm glad somebody has seen fit to right about somebody with Slytherin traits who is a perfectly good person.
I do enjoy the changes in POV so I know exactly what both Blaise and Harper are thinking in each situation, the changes could be a little more clearly marked. It's a little jarring to go from reading one of Harper's thoughts to reading one of Blaise's with no break in the story or anything.
Keep up the excellent original writing and frequent updates! I really appreciate it.
Author's Response: I hate it when Slytherins are all evil; it's so unfair. Hopefully, some progress will be made between them in the next chapter which is in the queue. :D
Oooo, I really liked this chapter! I guess watching Blaise and Jimmy fight over Harper is surprisingly enjoyable.
I was sort of afraid when Harper got her voice back that the story wouldn't somehow wouldn't be as enjoyable, but thankfully my fears were misplaced. I absolutely love Harper's sarcasm, especially lines like "‘Oh, no,’ murmured Harper. ‘It thinks.’"
I have one little correction for you to make with the line, "'Jimmy, that’s enough,’ snapped Harper, aware that getting into a fight beside a busy road was not wise. Especially with so many Muggles circulating around as well. ‘Let’s go back in.’" The second sentence is actually a sentence fragment. It can easily be fixed by switching the period after "wise" for a comma and making the e in "especially" lower case.
Author's Response: Thanks for that. And Harper will continue to be nice and sarcastic :D
That really was a beautiful little story you wrote, Russia. I really felt Draco's utter desolation, which I'm sure was you intent.
When Draco sits and watches Ginny greet Harry when he gets home from work, I really felt that scene worked well, despite the fact that I'm not a Draco/Ginny shipper. It almost seemed like something Snape would do and how Snape would feel when Lily was with James after Hogwarts. (Lily/Severus is my OTP.)
My one nitpick is that towards the end of the story, the text as well as the song is centered. You might want to go back and fix that.
Other than that, terrific job, and congratulations on your first story accepted by MNFF!
Author's Response: Thankyou SoS! I have changed that bit now, tags hate me :-p I am glad you enjoyed the story, and yes, I can see the similarities to Snape/Lilly :-)
Russia xxxxx
Russia, I really enjoyed this first chapter of your story. Your writing is lovely -- it manages to convey a sense of magic and mystery. I look forward to seeing what happens next!
Author's Response: Thankyou Laura! I am sorrry it has taken me so long to get around to writing this response... and not getting another chapter up! I will soon I promise! Thankyou so much for the review!
Russia xxxxx
Oh my goodness, Ari, what a sweet story! I absolutely love Ginny's confusion, countered by Harry's determination to pull her through all the landmarks in their relationship whether she likes it or not. So cute!
Yes, I realise this is a very gushing review, but what other kind of review is appropriate for a fluffly one-shot? :P
Kara, I really enjoyed this story overall. I loved what Remus had to say about escaping into the world of a novel for a time -- that's exactly how I feel about reading fiction. It was also really neat that you gave Peter the credit for the idea of the Marauders Map. He's usually so underestimated in fanfiction, and I'm so glad that you showed that he may have contributed some to the Marauders' plans.
However, I didn't feel like the two parts of the story fit together too well. It felt like you put together two drabbles together (one about Remus talking to James about books and one about Peter's idea) to make a piece long enough to submit to MNFF. I liked both parts, but they just didn't feel relevant to each other.
The gang is at Zack’s house for one final week together before they all have to go their separate ways.
They’ve proven that anything can happen in five minutes; but what can happen to them in seven days?
'Tis the companion fic to Don't Leave Just Yet. I strongly recommend you read that one first.
I think I like where you're taking this story, Becca. It's been a little fluffy for my taste, but it shows some real promise of becoming much more complex and interesting with Holly's conflict as to whether to let her dad back into her life. Keep up the good work and please update soon!
Author's Response: Thanks, Laura! Your review made me smile :D When I wrote it, I didnt' have it in mind to be fluffy....But I guess that's kinda cool, because I find it hard to write fluff. Anyway, I'm glad you like it and read it despite that! I'm not sure how soon I can update; chapter five isn't done and I'm doing NaNo so I'm putting my full attention towards that....But we'll see! :) I'm glad you like it! {BeccA}
Wow! What an original story! It had never occurred to me to think about the Wolfbane Potion's invention, nor the fact that since it was invented fairly recently, there must have been many centuries of trial and error before it was brewed.
You conveyed the seeming hopelessness of the situation nicely right at the very beginning. From Belby talking about drowning out the sounds of the nightmare of transformation, the reader can tell how deeply he does care. However, I think you could have used a few less exclamation marks throughout the story and still made it just as dramatic.
It's quite funny that you show the inspiration for the successful potion's key ingredient coming from an "old wife's tale". It fits nicely with the interest in alternative medicine today with old remedies.
Author's Response: Thanks for enjoying the story. It was interesting to write with a different tone. I usually just stick with the light, Quidditch- or Lockhart-related stories. I really should go back and tone down some of the over-the-top-ness of the story. I got a bit melodramatic at times, admittedly. Thanks for reviewing!
What a neat premise, Molly! I've always thought that the idea that Hermione (Granger) would waltz in and fix her parents memories as easy as pie right after the end of DH was simplistic. It's fun to read about the similarities and differences between Hermione I and Hermione II. Right now, I'm guessing Hermione Wilkens seems to be perhaps more like her dad, and Hermione Granger more like her mum. Well, I can't wait to read more, that's for sure!
Author's Response: I'm glad you like the idea for the story, and I hope you will read future chapters. I suppose I am writing Hermione I to take more after her mother and Hermione II to take after her father, but the idea for HermioneII's character actually came from an J.K. interview that I read. She said Hermione Granger was an exaggerated version of herself as a child, and I suppose that is what Hermione Wilkens is to me; a caricature of myself at ten years old.
This was a really neat story, Russia. Your descriptions kept me engrossed, and I was amazed how much the plot twisted and turned. The ending was shocking and very touching. Bravo.
Author's Response: O.O you liked it? Wow. Thankyou SO much Laura, when I saw I had an other review I was like "Aw, man. I bet they hated it." but it was you and it was lovely. Thankyou SO much! I am so happy you liked it! Thanks again.
Russia xxxxx
Rose used a blank journal to list practical information about the boy she intended to bring home for holiday and pass off as her boyfriend: Scorpius’ favourite colour, his favourite food. As their pretend relationship became real, the entries became longer and more intimate. And then one day—to her horror—she misplaced the journal.
What a fun one-shot! "Our Little Secret" is one of my favorite stories on MNFF, and this was a great extension of it. It was very sweet, showing what a great relationship Rose and Scorpius have. Of course, I wouldn't have minded if this one-shot was longer. ;) I eagerly await the next one-shot.
Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear OLS is one of your favorites! This was definitely a missing moment where Rose learns a lesson about herself and Scorpius, so it's shorter than the next one shot will be. I hope knowing the next one will be longer is happy news. :)
Ignorance is your new best friend.
Will she say it, or won’t she? You’ve been waiting for half of your life to hear her say those three words. But no. She’ll just continue to hurt you, and you know it, deep down. Know it, but refuse to believe it.
Wow, Becca, I'm very impressed by this story! You really manage to make the reader feel Charlie's pain. The ending (Cass's death) was quite shocking, but somehow felt oddly appropriate, something not often said about a character's death. I guess I feel she kind of had it coming. However, the note, and especially the obituary, managed to make her death heart-wrenching.
Author's Response: *squees* Laura, this made my day. Thank you sooo much! I'm glad you felt that way about Cass dying; I really hated to do it, but she did sort of have it coming in her own way. I'm so happy you liked it though; I wasn't sure what kind of reaction I would get. But as it's my first foray into Dark/Angst, I think it worked. *smiles* Thanks again! *huggles* {BeccA}
This is the untold story of Dolores Umbridge.
I love your explanation for Umbridge's abnormal fear and hatred of part-humans, but I'm not sure if the story explains that well her love of order and authority. Nobody helped her that much in life -- you'd think she'd be a big individualist, not a loyal Ministry employee. However, perhaps an explanation of her loyalty to the Ministry was not your goal in the first place.
Author's Response: Thankyou for your review, Laura! I think Kara answered your question about her Ministery loyalty lol. Really, I was aiming to show why she had such a thing against half breeds and against muggles. *hugs* ~Thanks, Laura!
Russia xxxxx
I loved this story! Your writing was excellent, and the situations you portrayed both realistic and at times very funny. Because of this story, I decided to try "The Vindication..." and I'm so glad I did.
Author's Response:
Why thank you! There are so many stories about Harry's kids during school, but there are virtually none set during their adulthood. They're like brand new characters, and my only real restrictions with them are their ages, some of their physical features, and of course, the multitudes of cousins!
I'm terrible about feeling the need for my characters to suffer a bit. It only seems fair, after all of the sorrow Harry had to endure. I hope you keep reading VoJP, because I have 19 chapters written, and it's close to being finished, so as fast as the queue will spit them out, I'll be posting them.
Thank you so much for your review. I love reviews so much, I wish more people left them! (especially glowing ones like yours, lol)
There have been so many stories written in fandom about George dealing with Fred's death. Though it is something we've all probably wondered about at one time or another, the topic has started to become over-used. It's refreshing to at least not read about as a chaptered story. I think you've convinced me that it's somewhat better as a one-shot. It isn't worth it to spend so many thousands of words on angst. A thousand or so is about just right.
Yet this doesn't have to be about George, does it? I skimmed it again and realized it could be about any Weasley brother dealing with Fred's death. Indeed, it could be about Dennis Creevy dealing with Collin's death. It could even be about anyone who fought at the Battle of Hogwarts dealing with a brother's death there. It is a very clever mind trick that you played on your readers!
Yet I almost would have preferred that you mention your characters by name or somehow make clear who they are. The lingering questions at the end of the story (Who were the characters? What was the siblings' relationship like? What was the relationship between the surviving sibling and the girl/woman?) do not allow the reader a sense of resolution, despite the otherwise perfectly acceptable ending.
Looking back at what I've written, I realize I sound rather harsh -- very uncharacteristically so. It isn't like I disliked your story. Though your writing style is slightly abrupt -- perhaps you could have drawn out the story a little longer?-- it didn't detract from my interest or enjoyment too much. I realize that this is only your second story on MNFF, and I simply want to help you realize your potential is a writer. Trust me. You have a great deal of it.
Author's Response: Hi Laura! At first, I was writing it about Dennis Creevy, actually, but as I wrote, I started thinking about Percy. I imagined him to feel guilty about Fred's death and that it would be, in my opinion, a bit worse to him than to George. So, this was written about Percy and Audrey but I didn't mention the names because I wanted the reader to assume who was I talking about. I was also very oblique concerning the characterization because of the same thing. I could have elaborated about the relationships with the brother and with the girl, but I was actually on a rush and needed to send it to beta as soon as I could because of the deadline :o. I know that I kind of leave those questions lingering but I guess that kind of is my style because when I write OF and I show it to my friends, I end up with those same questions. I think that I should start correcting that :p You're right about it. And you didn't sound harsh at all, honestly. I love this kind of reviews! It makes me thinkg of my writing and of ways to make it better. Thanks a lot, by the way! :) -Ronnie xxx
Your story has left me with a smile on my face. I think I'm already in love with the way you write Percy/Audrey. I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Oh, thank you, plenty more to come. Thank you for a lovely and encouraging first review :D
Oh, that was laugh-out-loud funny! Your little introduction at the beginning was so clever, and your characterization of Mr. and Mrs. Finnigan (especially the former) really made minor characters come to life.
Author's Response: Hi Laura!
I am glad I was able to make you laugh. :) I am also happy you liked my introduction because I felt I took some risk with it. Thanks for reading and reviewing. :D
~Natalie.