Oooh I loved that! I don't normally read slash, because it's too non-canon for me, but this was beautiful! especially the ending. made me smile a lot

I actually just signed up to write you this review, because I really wanted to tell you how much I loved reading your story. You really managed to get the Harry-Potter-Feeling, but you made it even more interesting with the sexual and other relationship issues. I also loved the ending. Of course it couldn't be a complete happy ending, but what awaits Sirius behind the veil made me very happy and hopeful for him.
The only thing I would maybe criticize is how James and Lily got together. I think it would have taken her much more than getting that "load" of Severus off her shoulders before she stops loathing James and "gets over herself". Maybe it would have been better to insert one or two chapters that show James carefully starting to flirt with her again etc before she kisses him. Then again, noone knows what was in these letters... ;)

I really loved reading this. It made me cry a lot when Anne died, and I very rarely cried even when reading the Harry Potter series. Awesome job.

WOW Carole!

There were so many great things about this chapter. First of all – your characterisation here was genius. James, who doesn't entirely understand Remus' problems, but tries to cheer him up in a way, Sirius, who of course thinks he can do it no matter what everyone says. James and Sirius who (at the end) prefer talking about Lily and plotting than being concerned about what happened just before. Peter, who worries a lot – about the others, about Remus, about Sirius, about where he stands in the group, about what just happened outside...


Then, how much thought you put into the details. From the bandage around Sirius' head to Martha and Lysander, and that James wouldn't fit through the tunnel as a stag – brilliant.

And then there's so many intriguing things about this chapter! Like, what is it between Professor Prewett (tee hee) and Madam Pomfrey? And WHO was the mystery man in the forest! I do hope that your story takes up right there with the next chapter and doesn't switch to another POV... if I have to wait long for this, I might just kidnap you and force it out of you. (JK!!! if you do write fast...)

I think that this might be one of the most climatic/suspenseful (is that a word?) chapters you've written for this story so far. Also, your description, especially the little bits within the dialogue, are amazing. I also loved how you backtrack between the chapters (to the previous chapter and the conversation between James and Lily).


Ooh I need more now! I might just reread the whole story, Amanda inspired me... haha :D

Kara

Author's Response: Kara, I never responded to your review. Sorry, my love. Thanks as ever for the kind words and encouragement. I will update as soon as physically capable (Nano obsessed atm). Hmmm, which POV next? Sheall I tell you .... NO! Although I can tell you that the mystery man won't be a mystery for too much longer. Poppy and Fabian may just be friends ... or .... nope, lips are sealed. Thanks again. ~Carole~

I loved that chapter, I think it's one of your best yet. Especially the Remus-part and how he is worried about the smell of the potion.
People might argue that the "Remus' senses are in overdrive before the full moon"-thing is clichéd, but I don't think so (actually I think it's quite logical that he does have heightened senses then).

Oh and I think what you gave James (especially the Quaffle wax) is great, too. I never would have thought of that. It's going to be so hard to come up with something clever for my story :D

Ah, I can't give you any constructive criticism... It was really a lovely chapter. What did Sirius smell apart from the bike?

Author's Response: Ah, well, before cliche class he smelt anything female but I couldn't put that in, could I?No what I really think is that he smells motorbikes, wet grass and friendship - but I couldn't work out what friendship smells like. The part about Remus' senses was something I nearly pulled out as well, but it's part of another fic, and JK made a point of saying that he got hairier near the full moon, so I do think his senses would be heightened. Thank you very much for the review - that was quick! Carole xxx

That first chapter was great. I've been staring at your banner for ages, playing that song Marillion made of the lines in the beginning, in my head, always thinking I didn't have the time to read it right now, but I just couldn't resist any longer :D I'm actually glad you only posted one chapter yet, but now: post more!
Apart from that, it's wonderfully easy and fluent to read. I actually thought it would take her much longer to join the DA again, like, until the third chapter or so, but looking back on the first chapter, I suppose it's good you didn't overstretch that part of the story.

I was afraid you'd make Crabbe in love and all kind and fuzzy towards Lavender, because that wouldn't suit the rest of his character, but I think you made a very good portrayal of him eventually. I shuddered when I read that Butterbeer-scene...

I think you also did a great job on not turning Lavender into an OC of yours. She has so much more depth than in the HP books, but still she is very much in character. Something I'm not sure about is whether she'd really be so sad about Ron after months, but then again she was rather obsessed with him.

I think I read somewhere that someone said your Ginny was too out of character for snapping at Lavender like that (I might be mistaken though). I really don't think so. She's worried about what Harry does and angry that she can't do anything to help him. In that matter, I see Ginny as an idealist, someone who'd do a lot for a "cause," to show their colours. And she'd obviously be angry at people who back out of a movement like theirs, when Harry is risking his life, and she clearly sees that evil threat and wants to do something about it.

Great story, I don't think I can give you any constructive criticism. I always thought your MWPP characterisation and style was great, but you're obviously just an overall very skilled writer.


Kara

Author's Response: WOW! Thanks Kara. Grinning with pleasure now. I don't think anyone's mentioned Ginny being OOC in a review, but I could always argue my case (LOL). I actually think Ginny would snap at anyone who appeared to criticize thouse she holds dear. You only have to see her snap at Hermione after the Sectumsempra incident to know that. Now, I thought I'd made it clear she was over Ron, and wasn't that sad about him - my point being that too many important things have happened in the intervening months for her to actually be that bothered about Won-Won, but that must be unclear. The reason that it didn't take her until Chapter three to rejoin the DA is that this was supposed to be a one-shot for Characterisation Class, so I needed it to have a recognisable end. Having said that, I have written chapter two and it's currently with my beta so watch this space!

Thank you again for the review. I really appreciate it. Carole xxx

Ah, I just found this, and I'm worried that you won't keep updating unless you get more reviews - I don't even know why this story only has one! Probably you would get loads more if you made it past the Prologue-stage. It sounds so promising - I really liked the way you showed Tonks and her clumsiness (in every way), and Remus, too. For your first piece of FanFic, this is really great - please do keep writing!

I wanted to tell you that your story is really well written. I read your WWC thread and with that and the way you wrote that first chapter, I feel that I really get to... feel with Rose's character and her struggles... Are you going to show the way to the ED with one of your other characters?

My thoughts really are with you right now. I hope so much that you'll manage to get out of there. i know that this probably sounds ridiculous coming from a complete stranger, but if you ever need any help, or anything, you can always PM or email me via the forums.

Hey!

I enjoyed your story a lot. It is very interesting to see the teachers' PoV of the events during CoS, and I've always wondered how Snape ended up in that Duelling Club with Lockhart. I imagined that he was hoping to "accidentally" put Lockhart in the Hospital Wing or something, but your Involuntary Volunteer-scene sounds more realistic. I particularily enjoyed the last two paragraphs of your story, they really made me laugh.

Before I continue with content related things, a small nitpick: Why, Professor Flitwick was just telling me about how a fourth-year Hugglepuff girl accidently dispelled him across the room during lessons.”

While I enjoy the "Hugglepuff", I don't think it is a term Snape would use. I also wondered about "dueling", because I always thought it was "duelling" with two l-s, but I guess that's one of the American/British things.

Now, on to the content of your fic. I think you did a really good job showing Snape's thoughts and feelings, especially those about Harry. I also like your characterisation of Flitwick; although we never hear him talk much (except for PoA), I can really imagine him talking like that to other teachers, and I think you characterised him quite well.

The only thing I can criticise here is your characterisation of McGonagall. While I generally like the way you wrote her, in my opinion she trusted Snape. While I agree with you that she only trusted him because Dumbledore trusted him, I think she trusted him fully because Dumbledore said he had his reasons. I don't believe she doubted Snape's allegiance or was easily angry with him. Actually, from the books I always got the impression that they got along quite well.

Now, I thought your story was quite nice, until Lockhart entered – then it really had me cracking up. You wrote him so well! I particularily liked the sentences

“Everyone! I’ve just come up with an idea! Stunningly brilliant!”

and

“Good man,” Lockhart remarked loudly as Severus exited the staffroom door, “but he’s rather big-headed, don’t you think?”

It shows perfectly how convinced Lockhart is of himself without actually realising that he himself is the one who keeps bragging all the time.

Also, the way he wriggles out of duelling Flitwick (because, of course, Lockhart would lose) was very in character. He pretends that he doesn't want to humiliate Flitwick, and Flitwick, who doesn't want to duel him, plays along although of course he does know better. I also really liked how you remembered and included the information about Flitwick being a duelling champion in his younger years.


Overall, a really nice and enjoyable story, and I had great fun reading it!

*toaster huggles*
Kara

Author's Response: Sorry for the belated reply! I only just remembered that I never responded! Anyway, thank you for the review and the very good things you pointed out. I had a sudden fright when I read the dueling/duelling thing, but in the American dictionary, it's just dueling (which I thought very strange). I should have thought more about McGonagall's characterization in that one part — I guess I was trying to further the story more than keeping in step with the character. Anyway, Lockhart was by far the most fun to write! I hope to do more with him because he's both jolly and idiotic... a dangerous combination indeed. Thanks for reading!

Just a short review, and I shall leave a longer one when I have more time (with the next chapter, for example *hinthintupdate*).

I thought your story was really great so far, and the character of Fera is so intriguing. It just makes me want to find out all about her – why is she so bitter, what does she do for a living, how well did she know Sirius... I'm dying to read more! I don't read many AU fics, but this one really looks promising. You can actually pull the "Remus has a sister"-thing without creating thousands of clichés and a Mary Sue. Fera really is a believable character, and I think it's amazing that you managed to show that with just the prologue so far.

Keep writing, I need to read more :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your interest and your praise! It means absolutely everything to us to know that people are watching and keeping up with the story. I'm SO glad to know that you love Fera, as she's like a child to me (sad, but true, especially since I've had her in my head for FIVE YEARS). Thanks again for the love, and stay tuned, because it's about to get exciting! <3 Wolf By Night

Oooooh I can't tell you how happy I am right now. It's so amazing to see this story up here... I love you *huggles* I don't know what to say right now... *tacklecuddles*

Author's Response: heh! *wins* I finally got Kara lost for words! I am so glad you like this story Kara, your opinion means the most to me in the world :-D *Tacklesquish* thankyou so much! This story owes averything to you, it really does. Russia xxxxx