Ahhh...Carole, I honestly enjoyed reading it. It was nice to see something of Rolanda, and James, of course, is a darling as usual.

-Short and unhelpful review, but I got a few laughs out of it. :D And well, you know how much I needed it.

More James!

Author's Response: I'm glad the long title didn't put you off *gigglesnort*. Mmm, well you know how hard I found this to write and had several stabs from James' POV before discovering Rolanda. He's a cheeky swine at times, isn't he? Thanks for the review, always appreciated ~Carole~

This was an interesting one-shot, and Flitwick felt very real. Although, I am not sure that even for such a tiny man, whether a glorified broom closet would be big enough a place to be called a “comfortable” office. Wouldn’t he have to meet students there? :D



I do have a question about the portraits, though. Wouldn’t a person have to be dead in order to get that portrait? Dumbledore was kicked out twice – in COS, and then in OOTP, yet there is no mention of his portrait being hung on the wall. Mmm…we don’t get to see the office during those episodes, so we may not know. What do you think?



I was also wondering about the selection of the Headmaster. Which era is this set in? Who was the DADA teacher? What about Muggle Studies? And Professor Vector? And Potions? Even though they must have been completely new and younger ones, I still feel that you could have mentioned them at least in a line or two.



On Dexter Fortescue’s voice, did you mean to say that his voice was similar to that of Florean? How were they related? Or did you mean that his surname was now associated with ice-cream? The use of the word “voice” seems to stick out a bit.



Apart from these nitpicks, I felt that this was a good portrayal of Flitwick. He does seem the type who would be nervous about the job. And oh! I also liked how you showed his insecurities about his height. :D Good one!



~Natalie.

Author's Response: Well, as far as the portrait question goes, I left a fairly long explaination in the previous review. Please refer. And to what year the story is set in...one sec, gotta do math...August of 2010. In my version of the Potterverse, this is when McGonagall retired. And let's see...Muggle studies: too young (and haven't figured out the character yet), Professor Vector: not interesting enough to mention and probably less experience, Potions: Professor Vhartan, and still holding that job in Arcane ScoRA (all my stories (except for AU) follow the same universe). And for Fortescue, oops! I meant to say name, and I will change that right away.

Hey there!

Haha! I laughed so hard while reading this. It's good to read something as crazy as this once in a while. :D I think my favourite part was where Voldy was reading a report on cauldron thickness. I felt so sorry for him.

There are a few glaring punctuation errors in your fic. Apart from them, this made an enjoyable read.

Waiting for updates,
Natalie.

Hey Jenny!

I really enjoyed reading this. Kurrawong promises to be an interesting school, although it does lack Slytherin tendencies. :D And I do wish Dumbledore had been a bit more chatty - his wisecracking self - although, he may be quieter because he's in the presence of...well, is stranger the right word for it?

Totally unhelpful review, but I loved it.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Natalie! I know the school lacks Slytherin types - originally I had four houses but didn't want them to be a copy of the Hogwarts houses. I figure the Slytherins would either go into Grattai or Kaputar, depending on the individual. And I know what you mean about Dumbledore - I think his reserved personality in this story is partly because of his fascination with the school and he's thinking deeply about it, but it's partly because I'm rubbish at writing him, really. >.> I'm so pleased you liked it, dear. :) Thanks again!

Hello!

I don’t know why I didn’t read this earlier. This really is an interesting, well-planned chaptered fic on Severus Snape. I am no fan of him, but I won’t deny that he is one of the most intense and intriguing characters of the fandom.

Now, what was Snape doing all those years? I have briefly wondered about this, and I’m happy someone is taking the time to show us that history. I love how you are keeping the theme of his birthday to show us the “growth” of the infamous Potions master. Each birthday, something happens to make him, and mar him as well. However, you have managed to keep him in character by keeping him from mulling over the occasion. He just doesn’t seem the type to look forward to birthdays, does he?

As I read through the three chapters, I couldn’t help but feel how spot on your characterization was. Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall – all written well without sugar-coating. You managed to show Dumbledore’s Machiavellian nature without overdoing/underdoing it; the unexpected mentioning of Lily’s names, the ignoring of Snape’s anger and accusations, the caution with which he handles the young professor, as though he were a ticking bomb – superb. The relationship between these two men is one of the more fascinating ones in the book, and you examined it really well.

I also liked how you wrote Snape from such an objective angle. There is no hero-worshipping there, no turning him into a pitiable martyr. Instead, you explored his bitterness and grief the way he would have felt them. Yes, he is very young, so how couldn’t he feel the sting of house-rivalry? Why wouldn’t he want to teach a subject that would grab the students’ attention? Why would he want to be stuck with something which no one appreciated, or cared enough about? We know Snape hadn’t been particularly popular at school in spite of his talents; it’s no wonder he would wish to get away from Potions, and do something else.

I am, however, in two minds about why, in your fic, Snape wants DADA. While it is certainly in character for him to be impatient to teach “dunderheads” a subject he excelled at as a student, and he wants to do DADA just to show he could do sparkly magic as well, I still feel that he is personally very fascinated with the subject. He tried that for years, and though I must consider that DADA could be his only other option if he wanted to switch subjects (we don’t hear of any other openings in the books), he seems to revere the subject when he finally takes it in HBP. I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

Apart from that, there were a few typos – minor ones which can be easily changed. All in all, I am enjoying your fic, and eagerly waiting for the next chapter.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: I'm really sorry that my work has gone pear shaped, and I haven't the time to respond to you right now. Do know I intend to write you. I am also on LJ under talloakslady. I will write you there. I really appreciated you very considerate review. noelle

Hello!

I haven’t read many fics where authors take on the responsibility to show how deep Ron can be. He’s either saying, “Merlin’s pants!” or thinking about food or being uncomfortable. The funny thing is, Ron is like that, and such characterization must be valid, but is that all there is to this bloke? He has been through so much even though he is not really expressive about his feelings. I am usually curious about that shadowy part of him, and though your subject isn’t something I expected, I’d say you did it great justice.

I’m now wondering why I never gave this a thought before: how couldn’t Ron miss those times? I had to step back and reflect on my own life. Yes, I do feel like that at family gatherings, too. There were better times, and it is not always because someone has left or died or is absent. The innocence of the past can’t be recovered, and when new people arrive on the scene, when the original “members” of the gang become part of their own new family, the feeling of loss can’t be suppressed. It is always there. Reading your story reminded me of that, and maybe that’s why I could connect with it so much on an emotional level.

Your characterization of Ron was just right. Confusion over his own feelings, lack of clarity while talking about the same confusion – check. Dedication towards family while not being conspicuous about it – check. He was just so…Ron. The way he mused about the past, his resentment against the present, his turning to Hermione and Ginny, even the whole aura of moroseness coming off him - all of these were done nicely without being overbearing. The other characters were written well, too. I particularly liked George and Ginny.

Apart from the spot-on characterization, I think you got the Weasley family just right. That is a boisterous, yet fun and loving family, and you captured those aspects quite well.
Ron’s memory about the Christmas made me tear up. I wonder why Arthur was missing, though.

Your take on Fred’s death made me think a lot, too. The loss of Fred would be an overwhelming one, no doubt, and I can see why his absence would change the family forever. But, yes, it is not just Fred’s death that has affected it. It can’t be the answer to everything.

They weren’t part of that original nine. They weren’t part of that original dynamic that hasn’t existed in decades, and yet he thinks a part of him will always ache to recapture, even though he knows he can’t, and not just because Fred is dead.


That was, I think, one of my favourite parts about the story. The “original dynamic” has been diluted, and we can’t accuse Ron of selfishness just because he feels this. It is too true, you know what I mean? It is a loss which a lot of people struggle with.

Apart from these heavy thoughts, I also enjoyed reading the next-gen kids. :D
I do have a few nitpicks. I think it is “The Burrow”, and not “the Burrow”. I’d also write “engorgement gloves” with capital letters if they are the names of the products.

Not counting these, I have to say your story was perfect, and I seriously enjoyed reading it.

~Natalie.

Ahhh…Mrs Zabini, one of the more mysterious and fascinating characters of the HPverse. I confess I have an unfinished one-shot of her story, something I intend to complete one fine day. But, until then, this should suffice my interest in she who is simultaneously morbid and powerful.

Like Carole, I compared Lucia to Sesen, the black widow of my HPverse. And, yes, differences are obviously there, but I do think your Lucia is scarier and more ruthless. If there is anything redeemable in her, it seem to be her love for her son, and her late-found desire to let a husband live. Well, nothing wrong with that – to each our own, I suppose. *cringes at self*

Your writing is what really made the story fascinating. Her sarcasm and indifference were done just right, and I have to say, I laughed out loud when I read this:

She watched as the light left his eyes, which still stared at her blankly. She frowned and squatted next to the corpse. With her middle and forefinger, she pulled his lids over his vacant gaze. To her annoyance, they simply sprang back open. “Drat,” she mumbled.

Yes, it is suppose to be gruesome, but just the way she said it. I could vividly picture it in my head.

My only nitpick is that I’d have loved to see why she started killing. There are hints of why she did so – her love for power and money is evident, and she seems to have distaste for men in general. But…why and how exactly?

Other than that, I think this story is a formidable tribute to Blaise’s enigmatic (and probably murderous) Mum.


~Natalie.

Author's Response:

Ah, bless you for taking the time to review, even though you are supposed to be working and writing, lol.

I think you caught on to the essence that I wanted to give her, which is cold, calculating, and rather enigmatic. She does love Blaise unconditionally, so that meant hat she has at least one thing up on old Voldie, but in a way, it makes her more diabolical. She can feel love, yet she will kill without blinking an eye. That almost makes her more scary, lol.

And as for why she she started the vicious cycle of hubby-cide (I'm sure that there's a proper term for that, which I don't know :-\ ), that is a different story for a different day. And yes, that means that there is a prequel in my mind. Unfortunately, the back story would've eclipsed the prompt for the challenge, but that doesn't mean that I can't write it later. :D

Thanks for stopping by, PowerPUFF, and as always, luv x 10.

Jess

After glancing at the monstrous "review" below, I was too intimated to put in my two cents. However, I enjoyed it so much I feel I'd be doing myself an injustice if I left quietly. ;)

Ahh...I just love how you're written the characters here. Everyone feels so real, and so comfortable. I especially loved Molly and Teddy. I laughed so hard when Molly said those things about the twins, Ginny and Bill's hair.

It's so true, though. Bill being insecure about his face seems natural, although it's so good he doesn't mope about it.

Ahhh...I let Fleur have him this time. Next time...I am not letting him get away. I will use my "Kappa-grip". :P

Good luck with the challenge!

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you, Natalie. I'm glad you liked Molly; you know how much I angsted over who to use. For Montezuma's sake it was nearly Angelina!!! Thank you for talking me out of that one. ~Carole~

Hello again!

I enjoyed this one, too. I confess I am not much of a Shakespeare fun to fully know what was going on with a few of the allusions, haha, but it was great reading your witty story-telling.

I have a few nitpicks:

But weirdly enough, that what my life feels like.

I think you meant "that's what my..."

And:

I didn’t turn against my friends, I wasn’t kill, I wasn’t even seriously physically injured.

"I wasn't killed."

My favourite part was when they attempted to brew the potion, lol. But, all in all, you wrote Remus well. I dunno if he would have read Shakespeare, or if Lily would, considering she joined the wizarding world at the age of eleven, but really, it was a great one-shot.

~Natalie.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm not much good at catching nitpicky things-- but neither was the mod, lol. I am quite honored that you read this since i have enjoyed several of your stories. Thanks again!

Say that you're surprised I loved this. ;)



It was nice to see the vulnerable side of Martha MacDonald. Pretty, good-looking, Sirius' serious grilfriend, no less, but she isn't a star student and panics during exams. The characterisation was done well without being too informative. I am familiar with her, of course, as I have read LOG. Still, I think you gave us enough background - without really going into the background. The relationship between the two was enjoyable to read. Sirius seems to genuinely care about her, and that soft side he exhibited at the end is something we don't see often in ff because, let's face it, he's either usually draped over Kylie, or is stuffing his face with chicken legs. That was harsh. But I am sure you empathize. :P Good job, Oracle Swatter, and good luck with the challenge. ~Natalie.

Author's Response: Ha ha - yes I don't think he ate anything at all in this fic. Yeah they've been seeing each other for the whole school year, so it must be serious ... ish... he is Sirius Black after all. Thank you veryt much for my first review. And now to find a fic I can start with an X ...~Oracle Swatter~