Hi Carole! I seem to be getting into femmeslash lately, which is why my two SPEW reviews will be for slash stories — yours and Jess’s. I have to say, I loved this story. I mean, I love all your stories (there are only a few I haven’t read, and I will get round to reading them once exams are over) but this one is a special favourite. The best thing about it is that it fits in flawlessly with canon; it’s in character and it’s written so very well.

I'm never a fan of stories that start with dialogue. I don't know, I think I prefer description instead, and more importantly, most people tend to overdo dialogue beginnings or just do it completely wrong. But this one’s an exception, definitely, because there was just something really nice about how it started, with the dialogue, and how even though you mentioned the pairing in the summary, I was still wondering who the speakers were.

I'm also generally not a fan of stories set in GoF. But this was written so well, if I didn't know any better, I would’ve thought that this was actual canon, written by JKR herself. The fact that Hermione remained secretive about it was IC, as well as Lavender helping her with her hair. I've always thought one of the reasons Hermione’s hair is described as bushy is because she doesn’t really care about it or doesn’t know how to handle it, LOL. So I liked that it all started off with Lavender helping Hermione with her hair, especially as a thank-you.

I've never liked Lavender/Seamus. It’s always been so clichéd, and I really like how you turned that pairing around. (By the way, what on earth is a corsage? It was mentioned in a song in HSM3, but I don't know what it is :D) And the way you gave little hints of Lavender feeling attracted to Hermione, right from the beginning when Lavender liked the feeling of her hair, was really good. The way Hermione confided in Lavender about her first kiss was great — it was a nice parallel, having them both have their first kiss on the same night, and the backstory of Parvati with Hilaire was amusing in how clichéd Parvati seemed to describe her relationship as. Or, at least, how perfect it seemed. And I loved how Hermione’s girly side was explored in this, with the whole hair thing, and then the makeup thing. I mean, I hate makeup so I do know how Hermione must have felt, but even I wouldn’t mind someone putting makeup on me, and it would be nice to be taught how to as well :) And I would definitely be told not to take it up for a living, haha.

My favourite line, by far, was when Lavender found the lipstick on her cheek after kissing Hermione: “Don’t take this up for a living, Hermione.” That was just classic. And I liked how she referred to Pansy — I hate her too! I loved the reference to The Golden Boy, because I do think that the students would have been affected by Cedric’s death, and it was interesting that Lavender slept with Seamus as a way of drowning their sorrows and whatever. I have to say, I was mentally cheering when I read that Lavender broke up with Seamus.

If you don't mind me saying, I do think that the story is well-paced generally, but I think the middle section when you covered the events of OOTP were kind of brief. But I understand why — because of the plot. It didn't take anything away from the story, though. I just think you could have covered more in that time, maybe say something about Parvati’s backstory? I don't know, just it seemed the middle bit could do with a bit more. At the same time, I suppose there probably wasn’t much else to say.

The use of the Patronuses lesson was a great way to show how unhappy Lavender was, without saying it outright. I really liked that Lavender’s happiest memory was kissing Hermione, but even that wasn’t happy enough, because Lavender couldn’t be with her or anything. And I loved the little interlude in the hospital wing. Lavender showed she was considerate and everything, but I was wondering why Parvati didn't come along? Surely both of them cared about Hermione? Okay, obviously for Lavender it was to a bigger extent, but still, I think Parvati would want to visit her too. Just my opinion, of course.

I love the way the relationship develops. Hermione suddenly found that she needed Lavender, and I think that that was a great way to bring them closer after being pretty distant for most of the year. And I kind of feel like Hermione wasn’t lying when she said that Lavender was just there. I mean, she was attracted to her and vice versa, but I don't think Hermione would have been the one to initiate the kiss if she wasn’t feeling so vulnerable.

Finally, the best bit about this is that Lavender’s behaviour suddenly makes more sense. All this time, I thought she actually really liked Ron, but if it was a sneaky way of making Hermione jealous... I have to say, that is just genius. I'm not sure who to congratulate — you or Lavender! LOL. As a Romione shipper, while I do like this ship, I was glad that you stuck to canon until the very end, Carole, because I think Hermione probably isn’t gay, even in your story. I think it’s possible for her to just have been attracted to Lavender, and her attraction to Ron was stronger, I reckon. But that’s just the canon monster coming out :)

I really loved this story, Carole, and I’d like to see a sequel. Then again, you have so many WIPs at the moment that perhaps now’s not a great time to request? Thanks for writing, as always, because your stuff’s always brilliant to read in revision breaks.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Soraya, thank you for the lovely review.

Okay, a corsage is a flower like an orchid or something that the girl pins on her dress or wears around her wrist when she goes to a dance or prom type thing. The boy is supposed to buy it for her.

It's funny what you say about stories opening with dialogue because it is a style I probably overuse. I like it because it lands the reader directly into the action and I'm also not a huge fan of chunks of description at the beginning and tend to skip it (I am a very lazy reader)

I also quite like Seamus/Lavender but not as a happy-ever-after. It's more that I like the possibility of writing about young teenagers having some innocent fun. Although the fun here isn't innocent towards the end. Have you read The Golden Boy. Seamus side of that night is explored and it might make you feel a bit sadder for him. I wouldn;t want you to think that he in any way forced Lavender because it wasn't like that at all.

As far as a sequel goes, I really doubt it. In my canon, Lavender is with Blaise Zabini. She got together with him in their seventh year and they're still together when he's teaching at Hogwarts. I wrote this because Gina suggested the pairing when I was asking for a rare pair. Although I like the reasoning behind this because it stops Lavender being quite such a mush head over Ron, the relationship really doesn't work with my other stories so a sequel doesn't feature in my plans - Sorry. On the whole I do stick to canon - even with pairings that seem AU because I like tweaking Jo Rowlings world but not breaking it.

I didn't think about Parvati visiting Hermione in hospital, but my reasoning was that Lavender wanted to go alone and that it was a fairly impulsive thing. She brought her that rather ridiculous book, after all, whereas if she'd thought about it, she would have brought her something far more Hermione-ish.

Thank you very much for such a comprehensive review. I really do appreciate it. ~Carole~

I really liked this! I usually hate Scorpius/Anyone but Rose but this, like Dust In The Wind, won me over, so kudos to you for that, Jess!

~Soraya~

Author's Response:

The thing I love about writing Scorpius is that, because Draco is his father, he can be characterised in a variety of ways. He could be an entitled git like Draco, a rebellious child because everyone hates his family, or the product of Draco wanting his son to be suited to the new world and hence not a bigoted wanker. Since I hardly ever do the first option, I decided to sic him on poor Molly, lol.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, and have a good day/night/whatever. :)

~Jess

I really liked the description of action in this piece. The memories at the beginning were effectively done and the end was especially emotional. However, I do think that the dialogue wasn't the best. It sounded a bit too proper, especially for Tonks, who's known for being casual generally in the way she speaks. Sometimes Remus' speech sounds a bit redundant.

I'll give you an example.

"I'm not letting Tonks come anywhere near you, Death Eater." Erm, nowhere in canon does it say anything about Remus (or anyone else for that matter) addressing a Death Eater as such. It makes it sound overly melodramatic for Remus. Also, I think by this point Remus is used to referring to Tonks as Dora (as officially I think she's Nymphadora Lupin, not Tonks). But that's not a big issue and I suppose it depends on your interpretation of their relationship.

The other thing that interested me was the use of the whole "greater good" thing. I was under the impression that only Harry and Ron and Hermione paid that much attention to Dumbledore's life when he was younger, not Tonks or Remus, and they certainly wouldn't have discussed it so...openly.

Overall, nitpicks aside, I did like this oneshot, so well done.

~Soraya~

Author's Response: Hi Soraya! Thank you so much for your truly constructive review. I actually wrote this piece quite some time back, before I had completely polished my writing skills (and of course, there is always room for improvement). However, I can see what you mean by the redundancy present in the dialogue, and slight AU feel of it. When I wrote this around a year or two ago, I was thinking that driven by rage, Remus would tend to act in a way that we would not expect from him. Now that I look back on it, my logic seems completely flawed. As soon as I get time (which is difficult due to schoolwork), I will go back and polish the dialogue. It could be much better and I will most certainly take your advice. As for him referring to her as Tonks, well, that's how he knew her before they got married so it doesn't really seem like her maiden name.. just her name. That was just my interpretation of it:). Now, regarding the "for the greater good" usage in this story: that phrase may have resonated in Dumbledore and Grindelwald's plans, but they are not the only ones entitled to the use of this phrase, and I believe that as a general statement, it makes perfect sense to use it. After all, the greater good that they are discussing is sacrifices made for the purpose of defeating Voldemort. However, I am glad you addressed it; I was worried that it would seem rather out of place - I suppose I just couldn't help myself. Thank you once again for your really helpful review; I will refer to it whenever I get the chance to make edits. ~Maddy

Well, I know that this is more than a month overdue, but happy birthday, Carole!

In fact, speaking of Carole, when I duelled her for that 5 words duelling challenge thingy, I asked her what the wildest pairing she'd read, and she said it was Oliver/Roxanne, by you. I just had to go and read it. And I'm so glad I did. I mean, I loved that Dean/Hestia story you wrote and I thought that topped my favourite rarepair stories list, but Wild Card is joint first with it, because it was just so good and just completely unheard of (in a good way, of course).

Your characterisation of Oliver was just...lovely. Honestly. In the books, he's described as maniacal, definitely, and it's amazing how you managed to chnage that so he's matured, especially after having such a difficult childhood. You filled him with regret, regret that he took out as defensiveness and (occasional) harshness. I used to think that the characterisation of Oliver is never very well done in fanfiction, but your story proved me completely and utterly wrong, and I'm very happy for that.

So often, Oliver is shipped with Alicia or Katie or Ginny or someone in their generation, but never next gen. Kudos to you for taking on such a wonderfully bizarre pairing, this time with a much bigger age difference than Hestia and Dean. It's a commonly-used scenario and yet you gave it a fresh twist, I think, by using the characters you did.

And now...onto Roxanne. Since she's practically an OC in terms of her character, I think you did so, so well in fleshing her out. I really understand where she was coming from with the whole drink thing, and it saddened me to hear that she seduced Logan by plying him with drink. At the same time, though, I think it's realistic, because George would definitely have had to cope with Fred's death, and I suppose everyone has a coping mechanism. Plus, one thing that really, really annoys me about some Post-Hogwarts fics is when they make everyone out to be happy after the war, when in reality, so many lives had been taken that it was inevitable that there would be grief and darkness and depression. So I'm glad you addressed that, not only in this story, but in others, like VoJP. (On that subject, I've heard that it's had/going through a revamp. I might have to give it another read when my exams are over :D)

The storyline was great. I really liked the beginning bit, when Oliver was getting sort-of fired and then hired as a coach. I think he was a great coach at Hogwarts, so it's completely plausible that he would become the coach of his own team.

Now, as someone who really, really hates any kind of sport, I've never fully understood the rivalry in football, cricket, snooker, tennis, or -- more importantly -- Quidditch. But after reading this, I think I understood why playing a sport is so very important to certain people, and I reckon this story has taught me to stop complaining when my brothers are so obsessed when the footie's on telly ;)

I absolutely adored the chemistry between Oliver and Roxanne. You could see it from the very beginning, when Roxy first started training with Oliver. I don't know how I can describe it without sounding cliched, but it really seemed like there was some kind of spark between them from that moment. And it was really nice how Oliver slowly started to realise that he was more than a little attracted to her, first by taking her to dinner, then walking her home, then his jealousy when he found out that she'd slept with Logan...yeah, I think you nailed it.

This should be the point, really, Jess, when I say something to improve on, but for once, I honestly can't think of any faults. There were no grammar mistakes (I can't remember ever having to point out an error for you) and I can't think of any way for you to improve your characterisation, because it really was perfect here. So I shall bid you adieu now, after saying thank you very much for writing this wonderful, amazing, fabulous, beautiful and just-smutty-enough story, as I was definitely in the need of some good Jess-written fanfiction after revising for my exams.

~Soraya~

Author's Response:

Lol, where am I supposed to start?

Well, first off, how about kudos for a lovely and organised review. It's always nice to get some feedback on fics that I love, so yay for that. :)

One thing I knew when I decided over an AIM convo with Gina (we were both brainstorming ideas for Carole's bday) was that a cross-generational fic would have to be done right. I just couldn't cork plotholes with smut as most other rarepairs tend to do and call it good, since the theme is, as we've discussed this month, rather controversial. 

What I wanted to get from Oliver was the underlying need to be around the game but a maturity that comes with age and 'been there, done that'. I don't know if you caught it or not, but I very subtly referenced parts of Carole's Drowning, Not Waving in this story, with both the details about Oliver's dad and his long ago love. Since that's one of those things that everyone seems to have read, I was hoping someone would catch onto it (Carole did, lol). Doing that gave him a deeper dimension and maybe a bit of explanation for his slightly maniacal behavior when it came to Quidditch.

Furthermore, what I truly needed to get across was that Oliver was more ready to move on from the sport than he realised. He just needed Roxanne to show him that at the midpoint of his life, some things just didn't matter so much as just being happy -- something Oliver had never truly allowed himself to do.

Roxanne, well... she's a pistol. She's sharp, defiant, competitive almost to a fault, and driven to be the best. More or less, she's like her mum with an understated layer of George's cheekiness. Also, she's probably the one person on the planet who could truly commiserate with Oliver with his own dad's problems, because her dad was a bit of the same. And maybe they needed each other just a bit. 

I have always been and always be a complete sports nut. I love almost all sports, or at least just following them a bit. I can sit in front of the tv and watch ESPN almost any day, so I'm pretty versed in sports culture. When I do write about Quidditch (which I will fully confess that I don't particularly care to write, lol), I try to incorporate as many things as I can to make it both a genuine sports experience as well as entertaining enough to hold someone's attention who may be just skim reading the action bits. I'm glad that the gameplay was done so you as a non-sports fan could both follow and not get bored. It's a challenge sometimes.

Anyway, my response is getting rambly and all that, so I'm going to cut myself off. Wonderful review, and I'm glad you enjoyed my story and my characters. *hugs*

~Jess

Ooooooh, sneaky Regulus, lying to Sirius like that about being a DE. Poor James and his family, too.

Okay, backing up a bit. The beginning of this chapter felt, to me, a bit clunky at times. I mean, I wasn't alive in the 70s, lol, but "are you for real" sounded a bit... modern. I think the flow was slightly shaky/laboured to begin with, but after that scene in History of Magic, I think it got better. I liked Reg's interaction with Avery and Mulciber; it was well-written and realistic. I also thought the part with Sirius was wonderful. It's nice to see the, er, serious side to him (no pun intended, lolol).

I also liked that you haven't rushed things so far. The pace of the story is going well -- it's good that only now, after six chapters, Regulus and Barty's lives are really beginning to intertwine.

So again, characterisation- and plot-wise, this is fab. I think the only issues I really have are to do with technical things like phrasing and punctuation. For example, I don't always think you use the semicolon correctly. Like here --

“No,” he said simply, then added; “Father’s got his hands full with work now, so there’s no point going home.”

It should really be

“No,” he said simply, and then he added: “Father’s got his hands full with work now, so there’s no point going home.”

Honestly, that's the only thing I can call you out on right now. Otherwise, though, this is great :) I'll see you on the next chapter!

ooooooh. Lovisa, I love your writing style. I would pick my favourite phrase, but that's impossible, lol. The whole bit about comparing things to cancer, and the stage, and everything. It's so beautifully phrased :)

But also, your characterisation of Sirius and the other Blacks is really good. I've had a lot of trouble with Sirius lately (and he's my character for SPEW 007 -- I don't know why I chose him, lol), and you portrayed him in this effortlessly.But, more importantly, of course, given whose POV this is from, Regulus's characterisation is excellent. I love how he's so-- dangerous and kind of scary.

This is a great setup so far for the story, Lovisa! Without making it an infodump, you've given both characters great backstories :)

I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter!

Author's Response:

Oh no, I had written a response I was really pleased with and then somehow I managed to hit the back button :/ But anyway, yay, Soraya, more reviews! Thank you!

I love Miranda. She's an excellently well-rounded character, and I love how rebellious she is but also her fragility. I mean, she tries to put on a front, with the dyed hair, etc., and yet it's easy to see through that and understand how vulnerable she really is. fab fab fab.

What I like the most is Barty's and Miranda's chemistry -- they are an interesting couple, and I'd like to see where things go from there. And eeeeep. I'm sure there will be problems with Miranda leaving/Barty joining her, etc.

Oh, and I read your response to my first review -- I so get what you mean about being unsure about the first chapters of something when you've spent a long time writing it. But really, the only thing which I could criticise you on is something technical: you could do with some commas. Like here:

That night we fell asleep on the couch in the common room.

There should be a comma after "night". But that is very minor, and it definitely hasn't prevented me from enjoying the story or anything. I just wanted to point out that that is really the only thing I can think of that could be improved at this stage. I'd love to see where things go from here :)

Author's Response:

MIranda originally started out as a plot device, intended to propel Barty in a certain way, though I am now very fond of her. I think there's both strength and fragility to her character, hopefully you'll see what I mean about the strength in the next chapter.

Carole, this just blew me away the first time I read it, and when I decided to reread it because it was so good, I was again almost heartbroken. Wow. Just wow. Your stories have always been excellent but I think The Golden Boy really brought out your amazingness. The fact that it only has four reviews does annoy me, though, because it's a truly wonderful and amazing and fabulous and moving and touching (and every other synonym you can think of) story and it deserves way more reviews than it has at the moment. I mean, two of the reviews are SPEW ones, which sort of compensates, but still!

You really deserved first place in the challenge. This was just wow in so many different ways and it's stories like these that I love the most because it was just so poignant and unique and lovely. I'm sorry I can't be more coherent than that but I really really loved it and I'd love to know what Oliver's reaction to Cedric's death was. Is that what Riptide is about?

~Soraya, who really should be revising~

Author's Response: Hi Soraya, thank you very much for the review. I'm rather fond of this story because I thought it was different from my usual style and it made me sad, too. Riptide, when I get the courage to write it, will be about Cedric and Oliver, but will be from Cedric's POV (mainly). It will pick up from where Drowning, not Waving, left off, so that's GOF onwards. ~Carole~

Well, Jess, tell Xelina happy birthday from me, and that she has a very fascinating name :)

Despite its dark tone, I really liked this fic. I never really read stuff about Padma or Michael. I tend to stick with the Gryffindors and Slytherins for some reason, and I sort of forget about the Claws and the Puffs. Call me cruel, but there you go :) And that's my own house, as well! Perhaps it's because in the books, the Gryffindors and Slytherins are the main focus, really. The Gryffindors more so, I suppose, but the Puffs and Claws, while still being characterised, tend to be in the background -- with the exception of Luna, of course.

Shamefully, for this very reason, I can't actually remember when Lisa Turpin's name was even mentioned in Harry Potter. It can't have been a big thing, otherwise I'm sure I would've remembered her name. Still, this was a great premise to base a story on, although I would've liked to have known more about why Lisa was in a coma in the first place, and what caused her to relapse the way she did. I have a strange feeling that that's already on your author page, and I will trawl through it later, but if you haven't wrote one yet, Jess, I suggest you do so -- NOW.

The memory, while being surprisingly short, said so much more than its length. The interlude was timed perfectly and it really intensified the moment. I can imagine Padma's pain because you painted the picture so very clearly, so well done on that. It must've been awful to see your boyfriend with a prostitute, taking drugs. I mean, that's just...ugh. What I thought was most effective was that you didn't waste time on description or anything -- you just got straight to the point and I think, here, you proved to me that quality really is better than quantity, because the memory spoke volumes.

The transition back to the present was smoothly done, although I did wonder what happened to Padma and Michael when she had that breakdown. I feel you could've gone into more depth about that, as it seemed to be...missing, somehow. Even just a sentence would've sufficed, to be honest, just to tell us what happened in the gap.

Finally, I think you portrayed Padma's and Michael's self-hatred so very well in this fic, and I think that that was so effectively done that it deserves (unheard) applause from me. The fact that Padma's friend was as good as dead and was going to die any time soon and supposedly, the only thing Padma could think about was herself speaks volumes about her character. Similarly, with Michael, he clearly showed that he hated himself, but this time, I think it was justified. The thing with self hatred is, in my opinion, that while it's never healthy, sometimes -- just sometimes -- it shows your humility more than anything, and I think you've displayed that fabulously in this fic. So overall, Jess, ta for writing, and let me know if you've written or are planning to write any Lisa Turpin fics, since I'd love to know her side of the story.

~Soraya~

Author's Response:

If you haven't noticed, I have an affinity for very minor characters. Lisa is the most minor of all, since she was only mentioned in JKR's class list for Harry's year. She never made an appearance in the books. What I wanted, though, was to show how painful memories and past events could tear people apart, but it could also bring them back together. What happened to Lisa occurred during the battle, and that story will come eventually, but this was meant to focus on Padma's pain from all that had happened and how it had affected her broken relationship with Michael. Hopefully sooner rather than later, I'll get that prequel written.

I'm glad you picked up on the self-hatred both of them were harbouring. Michael hated himself for betraying Padma, and Padma blamed herself for whatever she had done to drive him to it. She simply didn't understand that things just don't work that way.

As for what happened right before the memory sequence... nothing, really. As soon as she was fit, they went straight for St Mungo's. I didn't remark upon it because there was nothing there to relay, honestly. She cried for a while, he held onto her, she stopped crying, and they left. I had originally had a bit like that in there, but it sounded too 'He did this. She did that. They did this.', so I cut it. Trust me... it sounds better the way it is, lol.

Drugs are a delicate subject to tackle in fan fiction, because they are often used as a plot device or, worse, glorified. I didn't want to make my story about the addiction, but rather about loss and maybe a bit about healing. And though there is a fair amount of hidden backstory, most of it is fairly easily gleaned, at least enough to understand the toll something like a comatose friend could affect a group of people who had been together for over half a decade.

Anyway, I'll stop rambling now. This was an excellent review, and I'm humbled that you chose my story to visit. Take care and happy SPEWing!

~Jess

Hi Katrina! I know I promised you a ginormous review a while back, so I'm sorry it took so long. I blame it on RL — exams and revision and exams and revision and...you get my drift.

This story was a lovely way for me to have a break, so I'm glad I chose your story to read and review. Teddy/Victoire, while not being my OTP, has always had a special place in my heart, and I was very happy that you kept him paired with Victoire. What annoys me is when people ship Teddy with anyone except Victoire, because I honestly can’t think of anyone except her to be with him.

I think I’ll get the nitpicks out of the way first, and then I shall ladle on the praise.

I saw your friends there, and I went to wave to you, but there was no sign of your turquoise hair.

It took a couple of reads of that sentence and then the next one to figure out that you meant Teddy wasn’t there at all. At first, I thought Teddy was there, just not with turquoise hair. I think it’s better if you have the sentence like this:

I saw your friends there, and I went to wave to you, but you weren’t there.

Or something like that, anyway. Just...I got the wrong impression, that’s all.

“I wonder what it was like for him to be here, all alone, scratching himself to bits, trapped inside a monster.”

I paused at this. Surely Remus did more than scratching himself? I was under the impression that Remus bit himself, not just scratched. That sounds like a bit of an understatement, to be honest, so I would suggest changing it to something a bit...stronger.

Also, the way you sometimes used Victoire’s family’s names — like Harry and Fred. I kind of feel like she’d refer to them as Uncle Harry and Uncle Fred. But maybe that’s just me, because I come from an Asian family and we have to address our elders by their titles and not their names — as in, aunty, uncle, etc.

But they’re tiny, tiny things that don't even really need changing, because what overrides my nitpicks is the style and the thoughtfulness in this piece. Lately, I've actually been getting into second person, and since you’ve pulled off second person before, flawlessly, may I add, I wasn’t apprehensive when I saw it was written in that way. And I kind of think that it wasn’t exactly in second person since you used “I”, but I'm not an expert on this kind of thing. Whatever the style is called, you made brilliant use of it.

I really like how you began it, because it just made it sound more real, the way you used just the one word at the beginning. And the way Victoire addressed Teddy throughout the story was just in such a loving and caring way. It really was like they were meant to be. The way she listed the events, how she realised why Teddy was so special to her and why she loved him...it was beautiful, honestly.

In fact, this story has a poetic quality to it, an almost lyrical one, and it’s got nothing to do with being based on a song. It’s just the words you’ve chosen and the questions Victoire asks that make me just go “Aww” every time. And the way Victoire tries to assure Teddy that he's been through so much and that he doesn’t have to live up to Harry, and that he’s her hero...that was just so sweet.

If there was one thing I could change in DH, it’s Remus and Tonks’ deaths. It really made me cry, and it saddened me to know that Teddy would be brought up an orphan, just like Harry. In the same way, though, I can’t imagine what Teddy’s life would be like if he had his parents, any more than I can imagine Harry’s life with his parents. Victoire is definitely one wise girl, and you portrayed that beautifully.

I loved how Teddy’s hair became mousy when he was upset. That’s just so incredibly Tonks, and it was a lovely tribute to her, so I smiled when you put that in. I also really appreciated that Victoire didn't make a big hoo-ha when Teddy was crying. Boys/men cry — it’s a fact. It’s far from a miracle, I can tell you, so I was very, very glad when you had him as a normal boy, or as normal as you could get, given who his parents were.

Thank you very much, Katrina, for your lovely, lovely reviews, your much-needed criticism, the praise you give me that I never, ever deserve and most importantly, for writing stories like these, which touch my heart and make me remember why I bother writing/reading fanfiction.

~Soraya~

P.S. I'm sorry if you got two notifications for this review. First time round the formatting was messed up, so that's why.

Author's Response: Soraya, this was such a lovely review!! It really made my day!! And sorry about the slightly late response... I have changed the first thing about Teddy's hair - I wasn't thinking about the fact that he could change it instantly when I wrote that sentence. As for Remus - I think you're right, I didn't really capture how terrible it was... I have tried to fix it, but I still don't think it's great. Somehow it works though, because it's in Teddy's dialogue and he really can't imagine what it was like for his father... if that makes any sense. But thanks for the comment. With the family names - this was something I actually thought about quite a lot. I'm not sure if you missed it, but in her direct speech, Victoire refers to "Uncle George". I didn't use it in the body of the text because even though I was using Victoire's voice, I wanted to focus on Teddy, and I don't think he would say uncle/aunty. Plus since I mentioned Harry quite a few times, it just sounded a bit clunky saying "Uncle Harry" repeatedly. But it was certainly a valid question. I have no idea what this style is called, I just like playing around with different perspectives and tenses. In this case, it really came from the song. But thanks for saying that I've pulled off second person before and that whatever the style I used in this is called worked for this story as well. I have to say, I was a little bit apprehensive about it. I wrote this story in about 1-2 hours, and even though it's one of my least read, it's almost the most reviewed of all my stories. I'm glad you liked the opening - not wanting to sound arrogant, but I do too. I think it contrasts well with the title, and it captures Teddy's emotion. I'm glad you found Victoire loving and caring and that her and Teddy fit so well together. Teddy's a character who I've always felt drawn to, and I just love the idea of him officially becoming a part of the Weasley clan, which presumably he has grown up as a part of. And I think Teddy would be one of those people who never realises how much he means to others. Mostly because his father was like that and Harry is like that, and I think in a slightly different way Tonks is too. This is also why I think he would think that he shouldn't complain or grieve, because he has it so much better than Harry did. That you say that it's beautiful and lyrical really means a lot. I agree, Remus and Tonks' deaths are tragic, but you're right, I can't imagine Teddy not being an orphan. I'm glad you thought Victoire wise - I think seeing someone you deeply care about try to bottle up their pain when they have every right to feel it would be quite heart-wrenching. And yes, I agree. Boys/men certainly cry, though perhaps not as often as some females. And I don't think Victoire would have any weird ideas about it not being manly to cry... after all, she just really cared about Teddy. I'm so glad that you enjoy my reviews, yours are certainly helpful and I love seeing your name appearing in my inbox. You've really given me very high praise in this story, and I can't think I deserve it. So thanks. Also, if you read Gina's reviews below, I am thinking of writing a companion to this story from Teddy's point of view. So look out for that. ~Katrina