Hey Gina! :D fab chapter, as per usual. I love Gideon and Fabian in this, even they weren’t major characters or anything; there’s just something quite cheerful about both of them that reminds me, of course, of Fred and George. Also, I felt sorry for Frank, having been through so much -- it was no wonder he pretty much broke down :( and the fact that he was slightly suspicious of something going on between Alice and Fabian is kind of cute. But also, again, I love your inclusion of other characters in this -- not just Gideon and Fabian but also Lily and the Marauders. I think it’s because I read so many Marauder fics by you that their presence seems so natural, and I loved the bit where Dumbledore went back to teacher mode for a second and said it wasn’t the Gryffindor common room, lol.

I eagerly await the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading this chapter! Once it finally started it was great to write and is one of my favorites so thank you for featuring it, I hope people are reading it, lol! I have another story with more Gideon and Fabian and I've enjoyed writing them in both. I still don't have a solid picture of them in my mind, but there's enough. I wouldn't mind more from JKR on them. And the Marauders-my love for them knows no bounds. I could write them all day. The next chapter isn't quite as long but we'll see how it turns out soon, I hope. Thanks again for the lovely review! ~Gina :)

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

Ginaaaaaaa, the suspense of this is killing me! What a great chapter :D Gahh, I'm having so many feels right now that I don't think this review will be adequate enough D: But anywayyy... great chapter! I think this was a necessary filler which gave important information about Voldy's next attack and also finally saw Frank and Alice give in to the UST between them that gave me so many feels, hehe.

Also, Moody interrupting them made me LOL so hard. :D Aaah, I love your Moody! He's so well characterised -- he sounds just like canon!moody. Well done. Great chapter, adn I can't wait for the next! :D

Author's Response: Yayayayay!! Thank you so much, Soraya! I'm thrilled you got some feels from this because every time I read that one paragraph I sort of feel it myself. *sigh* I'm having fun with Moody so good to know he's staying in character. I apologize in advance for anything I get wrong about Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens but Google street maps and view can only take me so far, lol. Thanks again for the lovely review!! Yay! ~Gina :)

OOOH.

Can I just say, I love all the references to other stories and pairings in this? Maybe I'm reading into things too much, ha, but I could sense a hint of Daphne/Pansy at the beginning. And theeeen, of course I had to catch the Ted/Andromeda reference after having just reread it :D

But Harry was being so unfair and presumptuous! Ugh. He should have at least asked Scorpius to explain himself without assuming he was being paid off >.< And I could understand why Scorpius said what he said to Lily, even if Lily took it the wrong way. I hope they patch things up :/ I definitely think Proudfoot set Scorpy up, because it was clear he didn't like him right from the start, but then I'm now thinking that maybe he has more to do with the case than I thought... hmmm. I'll have to see. Onto the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: Oh Proudfoot, why do you hate my Scorpy so? Oh, Daphne/Pansy ... uhm, not sure that's still going on - ha ha. Sorry I took my time replying to the review; I've been very slack. thank you ~Carole~

Zacmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac!!!!!!!

Yeah, I had a feeling that would be McLaggen's secret :D And what Harry said at the end made me laugh so much -- I'm sure Hermione finding out Zach and Mac are together is one awkward turtle, lol. And that was nice work on Scorpius's part, getting Zach to see Cormac being held in custody.

Anyway, I'm not too sure Proudfoot is the informant anymore... argh, I used to be really good at guessing mysteries, but I guess I'm getting rusty as it's been a while since I've read one. I think there's more to Montague's story with sally-Ann, but hopefully when they interview Zac and Mac they'll get more details. That is, assuming they don't both do a bunk together... but I don't think that will happen, ha.

Right, rambly reviews over! Sorry if none of them make sense -- I am soooo rusty reviewing and a mystery as gripping as this one is bound to leave me incoherent. Well done, Croll, and post the next chapter soooooon!

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: I cannot resist the zacmackery anymore - Mwahahahahahahaha. Okay Ch 15 should be up very soon and 16 as have them both beta'd and just tweaking. The rest is being written. This is skeltering towards a conclusion, just need to time to get it all down - eeeep.

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu ~Carole~

Yay, a welcome breather to all the mystery and action. I think it was necessary to have a filler chapter here, and it didn't even feel like that because you just write so well :)

I think you did a great job of portraying Scorpius's relationship with his family, especially with his dad. I like that nothing is perfect here particularly bearing in mind how everything is far from easy with Narcissa and everything.

And yayay Daphne! :D I do love how you've written her here. Oh and the present from Lily was so sweet. As was the appearance of Teddy. Sorry, I realise my review is steadily worsening and probably doesn't make much sense -- basically I enjoyed this a lot and I can't wait for the next chapter :D How many more chapters do you plan it to be? (And I totally get that that can change -- I mean remember my Sirius/Rosmerta had an accidental second chapter, lol)

Well done! :D

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: An accidental chapter I could deal with ... ha ha ha. Soraya, my love, I'm not sure. I've written chapter 11 and I'm definitely past the middle. I'm think 15/16, but need to make sure all the ends are tied up.

Thank you so much for the review. I have loved writing this story (so far) not just because it's Scorpius/Lily but because I've moved away from straight romance and into a plotty fic. And thank you for appreciating that the chapter was breather. It is necessary for the story (pssst, there's some information hidden there somewhere - mwahahahahah) but also it's part of Scorpius's story to show the interaction with his mum and dad.

Thank youuyuuuuuu and I hope you enjoy the rest Carole

Hello, Maple! :)

Well, I have to say, even if I hadn’t been your Secret SPEW recipient, I would have featured this anyway, because I enjoyed reading this story so much. There was a lot that I loved about it, including Louis and Lily’s characterisations, the style and just how convincing their romance was. When I first read it, I was really pleased to see the inclusion of so many of my prompts, especially the lyrics, but also the tea and honey, which gave the story such a comforting and homey feel to it.

I love the way you set the scene in this story, with the rain and lightning. Not only did this give your story a really British feel (since all we ever talk about is the weather!), I also thought it added a bittersweet tone to it, and considering the issues Lily has with Sean and the open ending, I felt that was very fitting. I think the thunder and the rain were perfect in representing Lily’s conflicting emotions and her fieriness, which is definitely one of my favourite character traits in Lily. As well as this, the setting emphasised the hurt/comfort elements in the fic, which I thought was really important in creating chemistry between Louis and Lily, like the fact that Lily had gone to Louis twice in a month about her boyfriend already. There was something really endearing about Lily relying so much on Louis without necessarily realising it :)

Your use of detail is what I think set Louis apart from Sean and is definitely what made Louis’s characterisation so strong throughout. I liked that Louis seemed bookish and that you showed rather than told that through him enjoying a book; it was a great way of establishing the foundations of his character and making him so very likeable. Also, the motif of tea and honey (a lovely combination, may I add), really highlighted how considerate Louis was compared to Sean, especially as Louis always makes it right and Sean doesn’t. The pairing was set up so well in that way, particularly, again, how Lily seemed to subconsciously appreciate Louis.

The character who was the most fleshed out and felt the most human to me, though, was Lily. It’s interesting that Lily had insecurities about being built like a guy -- I don’t think I’ve ever come across that in fanfic before, or in OF, for that matter, but it definitely fits, given she’s a Quidditch player. Speaking of Quidditch, I thought the way you weaved that into the plot was really well done, and it also said a lot about Lily’s character that she was always blaming herself for losing. There was a vulnerability about her that you caught so incredibly well in that, and it reminded me of Harry being maligned in a similar way by Cormac. For that reason, of all the Lily-centric stories of yours that I’ve read, this one is by far my favourite, because I could so clearly see Lily’s weaknesses and her inferiority complex, and this resonated with me so much.

That said, it was great that the story also had light moments and sexy moments, too. Lily being drunk definitely brought out the feelings in her that I don’t think she would have acted on otherwise, and with regards to style, her drunken dialogue was spot on, particularly Lily saying,“Hello yourself, handsome”; the line was funny, but it was also clear just how much Lily must have had to drink to be that brazen. Also, I have to say, that whole scene in the shower was very convincing! I loved how it was never smutty or graphic but was still incredibly sensual purely because of the situation they were both in (particularly Louis’s lack of attire). The unresolved sexual tension in the scene after Lily had cooled off also brought out how caring Louis was, to the point where he refused to take advantage of her. Your characterisation of him was fabulous.

This is my favourite story of yours, Maple, by far. I agree with another reviewer, though, that a sequel would be lovely, because I really want to know if they have a relationship, and I would love to know how they get there if they do, so I will have to keep my eyes peeled! Excellent work.

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: Thanks for the amazing review! I love how you found some interesting symbolic thing for the thunderstorm. That was really just me experimenting with description, but I'm glad it worked none the less :) I am so glad you liked the characterisation of Lily. To a certain extent, I was worried that she was coming across as super melodramatic and unrealistic, so I'm really glad that worked. Eep, I'm so glad this went over so well with you, especially given how unsure of it I was. As for a sequel...I have no idea how that would go ahaha :) Maple

Hi Carole :)

What a fabulous story! I remember you saying on LJ that you weren’t sure about it, but honestly, you shouldn’t be so worried, because I’ve enjoyed reading this so far and think you deserve far more reviews. I’ve read quite a few Flonks stories before, and I can say with certainty that this is the best one I’ve ever read. What I love about your writing is how you make characters who are often heavily abused in the fandom, like Fleur (but also Lavender and Romilda), likeable and human, in spite of her Veela heritage. And, having read both Fleur and Tonks in your writing before (in Coup de Foudre and Apparently Asleep respectively), it was no surprise to me that they were both characterised incredibly well here, too, and that their characters, above all, were what pushed the story forward.

First, though, the style of this story was one of its many strengths; it was dialogue-heavy, and it worked because of the French accent, which was never distracting but only added to Fleur’s character. I especially liked her mistakes in English, such as when she says “feetsteps”, and her misunderstandings of English sayings, like “taking the mick” and “scrapes”. It was funny and realistic, with the snippets of French making Fleur’s English sound really broken. There was also something really sweet about Tonks correcting Fleur when she did slip up in English which made Tonks’s character even more caring and brought out her Hufflepuff qualities.

I loved just how vulnerable Fleur appeared in this. While I think she put on a front of fussiness and perfection in GoF, I agreed with Tonks in that it was a relief that Fleur was “Flesh and bones like the rest of us”. That was a great line, and the fact that Fleur was doubting her own capabilities and also had insecurities, like her thoughts about her so-called friends, made her much more of a sympathetic character. She’s a lot more relatable here than in canon, and I could understand why she wanted someone who would disagree with her and tease her, something that Roger clearly is not. I was also reminded of how young Fleur is in this, by her having the same worries any normal teenager would have about her friends distancing themselves from her and Fleur perhaps not fitting in much, in spite of her beauty. I can remember you saying something about how sexuality can be really fluid at a younger age, and I guess that’s true for Fleur, because her attraction to Tonks as “Edwin” doesn’t seem to go even when she finds out Tonks is really a woman.

Speaking of which, I wasn’t sure “Edwin” was Tonks at first, but it was confirmed when she made the comment about Cleaning Spells. I think that’s a mark of how convincing Fleur’s narrative was (even in the third person), because I was never completely sure it was Tonks until she finally revealed herself. And her characterisation was so spot on, exactly like Tonks was in canon -- I liked her sheepish comment after Fleur first kissed her: “Er, well, you started it, but ... er... yeah ... sorry.” There’s something so unapologetic and cheeky about your Tonks that I couldn’t help but laugh, because I think it’s just like Tonks to point out that Fleur was the one who started it and for her to find the situation funny more than anything. But at the same time, Tonks was thoughtful, too, particularly through her gesture of giving Fleur the salve for the dragon task. Also, I really liked the moment when Tonks morphed into Bellatrix and explained how good looks didn’t necessarily mean anything; it reminded me of how Tonks clearly had issues, too, with her own family. Like Fleur, that kind of imperfection is what makes Tonks such a well-rounded character for me.

As for Roger, I liked that while he obviously wasn’t the right person for Fleur (the fumbling with the coffee, the fact that Fleur didn’t enjoy kissing him), he wasn’t painted as a bad person as such, which was a welcome change. For example, I liked that he kept trying to reassure her that she should have come first and that her dragon was the fiercest, even if Fleur might have wanted him to disagree with her a little more. I also thought it was interesting that Fleur, despite her incompatibility with him, still regarded him as “the one ally she seemed to have here”; the emphasis on her loneliness really brought out just how human Fleur was. I also thought Roger’s considerateness and effort in taking dancing lessons was actually rather endearing and made him likeable, in a way, so while I don’t ship them, I can see at least the initial attraction Fleur might have had with Roger.

Although your story was mostly character-driven, I liked how you weaved the plot in with GoF. I was able to follow the timeline really easily, especially with the inclusion of the Hogsmeade visit and then the first task, followed by the Yule Ball. I was intrigued, also, by Tonks’s assignment -- I was wondering how you would explain Tonks impersonating Savage -- but it made perfect sense to me, since she did say she was really good at concealment and disguise because she was a Metamorphmagus. I can definitely see that happening, and having read several gender bender SSP stories, I have to say that this is one of the most unique due in part to the lack of Polyjuice Potion.

I thought the two chapters flowed well, and I liked the slow progression of Fleur’s attraction to Tonks, starting with her attraction to who she thought was Edwin, especially with the opening image of the wizard eating the peach. It’s such a simple thing that drew Fleur to Tonks in the first place, even if she did think Tonks was a man, but it was also very sensual, and considering your qualms about if the story was sexy, I definitely think it was from the outset. The physical chemistry was evident from the start, as I think Tonks doesn’t act like a man at all (even if she isn’t particularly ladylike either), and I like that Fleur notices this, too, however subconscious those thoughts were to begin with -- like Tonks’s hand not being sweaty and her not kissing Fleur’s hand in the way I suspect a lot of guys probably did with Fleur. And when they finally kissed properly at the Yule Ball, it was amusing to see Fleur lose her cool a bit and at last voice her sustained attraction to Tonks, even knowing she was not Edwin.

Overall, Carole, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I would really love to know where things go from here, and I eagerly await the next chapter :)

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: I really should have replied to this a long long time ago, but I was, quite honestly, gobsmacked by the fabulousness of the review, so didn't know how to reply. Thank you so much for this, for as you know I have had huge issues with this which lead to me adding, deleting, then adding smut and then trying to keep it under the 15k (which it is - thankfully).

Thanks again. My response is inadequete, but I very much appreciate it. :) ~Carole~

I love this! :D It takes a HELL of a lot to be able to convince a reader of a pairing when you show one half of hte pairing being so much older while teh other half is still a baby (not sure if that makes sens,e lol), and in second person, no less!

My favourite line is "So? She's hot". I'm not sure why -- I love how colloquial it sounds but at the same time shows the height of Teddy'sn attraction to Lily. I think the slow progression of this attraction was done so well by dividing the story into sections the way you did, and I liked the end result (well, of course I would, hehe). I would love to read a companion piece to this, though, bcause I want to see the rest of the family's reactions! Fab fic, Maple. :D

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: Heehee, thanks for the review, Soraya, it totally made me giggle! I am so glad that second person worked - it's such a scare to try and use it lol. Family reactions, huh? That would make a fab fic! ~Maple

Awww, this was so sad, Nora! D: But it was so well-written, too. Well done on a strong fic -- you had nothing to worry about, by the way, because I would never have guessed taht this was your first SSP. I thought you did a fabulous job of putting across unrequited love in this fic. I also can definitely see how Eloise may have misconstrued Hannah's words, which just makes it even sadder :(

But I think your biggest strength in this fic is the imagery -- it;s not necessarily poetic in all places, but the images you create are so strong and make the story all the more vivid. I think you did a great job in getting into Eloise's mindset and establishing her voice here, too, and I just hope she finds someone who loves her back one day, because I do like your portrayal of her. Excellent fic, dear!

Soraya xxx

Author's Response: Sorayaaaa <3 Thank you so much! I'm SO glad you liked this. Writing it even made ME a little sad, actually! I'm glad that Eloise's voice worked. In the future I think I'll write something else that gives her a happier ending - there's a couple of characters who I think I could see her with in her future. Again, thanks for the review. :) ~Nora

Yayayayay, I think you did a another great job with this chapter ;) I love how James and Lily bonded here and managed to teach each other things, and I think it's great how they managed to overcome the obstacles in the maze. and I knwo it's not really mentioned here but I love teh idea of this being Rowena's maze. my main quetion is if there is soemthing of value in the middle and whether or not this is going to be retrieved. I shall have to wait and see! And I love the whole thing about Lily finding out about James being an Animagus -- very well done :D

Author's Response: Thank youuuuu! I had so much fun with the Animagus bit. I don't think I'll ever get tired of that, you know? I'll just keep writing different ways until JKR gives us the real story and then I'll cry. Haha. They did bond here, that was sort of the point working up to the end. As for the middle of the maze - heh heh, I had fun with that. Thanks so much!! ~Gina :)