07/19/09
hey, I'm Hermiones_Therapist, or something like that. not really. I live in the good ol' U.S. of A., and i'm a teenage girl. i will be joined from time to time by my little sister, the Supreme Ruler of Jello, or SROJ. i like harry potter better though. she just likes to mooch.
Me:
fave color: Purple
food: sushi
tv show: Home Improvement
vegetable: CORN IS THE BEST AND FUNNIEST OF ALL VEGETABLES
am i crazy: YES!!!
i'm a huge HP fan (NO! Really?), and I loved the new 6th movie.
my name: it's random, i know. i don't know where i got it. probably just me being weird and random.
meee!!! meaning the Supreme Ruler of JELLO!!!
fav. color:
blue and yellow. yeah its a tie...i dont care enough to decide which one i like better..
food:
mac and cheese!! o, and jello.....duh
t.v show:
whale wars on animal planet!!
the name??!!!?
hello!!! I LOVE JELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well, thats all for now......TTFN!!
PEACE!!!
H_T: Apparently, insanity is genetic in our family.
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Home Improvement by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: When Ron Weasley is promoted to a rather high rank in the Auror business, his mother congratulates him by informing him that it's high time he found a place of his own.
Ron may be quite good at his job as an Auror, but he now faces the most difficult challenge of all...
Ridiculously short one-shot that I wrote for some challenge about a year ago and never submitted. It's also my first one-shot that's not about Voldemort and the Death Eaters! Gasp!
Date: 08/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 and Only
I have already written a revew for this, (approximately 2 minutes ago) but you should write more humor fics. that is all.
Author's Response: Yeah, I always want to write more humor fics. But humor fics are basically an extended joke, and it's hard to think of a 'joke' that I can stretch out into a story. It's so much easier to slip humor into a more complicated narrative, so I tend to get lazy and do that. But I really should write more humor stories.
OAF: Operation April Fools by The REAL Weasley Twins
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: For the past six years, Lily Evans has put up with James Potter's pranking. But as her seventh year commences, she decides it's time to give James a taste of his own medicine.
Chapter 7 has finally been submitted!
A tiny sneek peek:
"Oh, come on now! Lily thought. “Just kiss me already,” she said audibly. James froze at her words and she, embarrassed beyond belief that her thoughts had spilled from her mouth, sat entirely still."
Date: 08/23/09 Title: Chapter 1: A Plan is Formed
This sounds pretty cool!
A Day at the Spa by Nevilles Girl
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
Dear Mister Snape,
We are very pleased to present you with this once in a lifetime offer: A free day at Deena’s Magical Day Spa! Just Apparate to the address below and present this coupon to redeem your prize! We hope to see you there!
Sincerely,
Deena’s Magical Day Spa
Date: 08/23/09 Title: Chapter 1: A Day at the Spa
Awesome. I didn't understand why she looked over his shoulder, though...didn't she already know it was them?
Author's Response: Hmm . . . I believe I meant it to be her looking at Ron and Harry who had just lifted up the invisibility cloak and were pleading for her to play along. It was a while ago though. Thanks for reading! ~Luna
Love a Duck! by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Love a duck! Will he stop at nothing? Voldemort is rapidly taking over, and his Death Eaters are killing Muggle-borns every day. The good news? A mysterious man, known only as The Phoenix, is rescuing people in the nick of time all over England.
Meanwhile, newlywed writer Lily Potter has troubles of her own. For one, her marriage is not turning out to be as great as she'd thought... for another, she's been blackmailed by an old "friend" into turning spy and discovering the Phoenix's true identity.
Thrills, spills, laughs, gasps, song lyrics, and good old swashbucklin' intrigue.
Inspired by Baroness Emmuska Orczy's excellent novel, "The Scarlet Pimpernel," and Frank Wildhorn and Nan Knighton's AMAZING musical by the same name.
But if you're not familiar with either, the story's just all the more suspenseful! All song lyrics used in this story are based on those by Wildhorn and Knighton
Date: 07/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London
this is so sweet! and only Fred can irritate his brother long-distance like that.
Author's Response: I know whuch story this is supposed to be for...
Date: 07/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: On The Streets Of London
OH MY GOODNESS I REVIEWED THE WRONG STORY BY MISTAKE! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON THE LONG DISTANCE EXTENDABLE EARS STORY!
wow...that's emberrassing. sorry. please ignore the below review.
Author's Response: That is totally okay. I've done stupider things! Many, many, stupider thing?
Date: 07/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Awwwwww.....I'm not a huge fan of poetry, but this is really sweet. Good Job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I think poetry's underrated, really.
Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending by Lyra Lestrange
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Eleven-year-old Teddy Lupin is having a bad day when he wanders into the Forbidden Forest. There a strange event happens and he meets people he never thought he would see...
Do not read if you have not read Deathly Hallows!
Date: 08/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: Not All Stories Have a Happy Ending
Nice one.
I really, like this, how you sort of kind of tie in the resurrection stone with Teddy's parents.
Minor Criticism:
At the beginning, it said that Teddy's year had been going so well...until now. I think the story would have been a llittle more complete if you had explained in more detail exactly why his year took a turn for the worse. it seems a little abrupt to me, i have to say. Otherwise, i love this story.
Favorite Part:
As well as being against the rules, there were plenty of beasts and creatures in the woods that he had heard about, and it would be awfully unfortunate if he happened to come across any.
"It would be awfully unfortunate if he happened to come across any."
I don't know if you intended that line to be funny, but it was. to me, anyway.
Love the bittersweet ending.
Good Job! :-)
H_T
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I haven't had a review for this in a long time. If I remember correctly, I think I mentioned Slytherin bullies putting Teddy in a sad mood. I understand what you're saying, though, although I wrote this so long ago I don't really feel like changing it :) I don't think I intended the line to be funny but I'm glad you thought it was, considering the story is kind of sad. Or bittersweet, as you said. I just remember in the first HP book, they talked about so many terrible things being in the forest. The forest seemed to get less scary as the years went on, but I thought Teddy, being a first year, would have heard the rumors! Thanks again!
Luna's Truth or Dare by Hutchinson
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: What happens when Luna challenges her friends to a game of Truth or Dare?
Date: 07/22/09 Title: Chapter 1: Let the Game Begin
I love this story! It's so funny!
Really Wicked: Stephen Schwartz's Wicked Gone Potter by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: It's another spoof by Schmerg_The_Impaler!
This time, it's "Wicked," by Stephen Schwartz, remodeled to tell the story of Voldemort's life!
I also have spoofs of Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and High School Musical on my profile, if anyone would care to read.
Date: 08/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Act One
Unlimited… my future is unlimited…
And I’ve just had a vision almost like a prophecy.
I know…
It sounds truly crazy
And true, the vision’s hazy
But I swear, someday there’ll be
A musical on MuggleNet that’s all to do with me!
Sup, Schergo! So I didn't read this a while ago when I didnt' have my aaccount like with most of your stories, cuz i don't know the songs to most of these musicals, cuz i live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. more or less. Anywho, for my birthday, (a month ago) I got THE WICKED SOUNDTRACK! AND IT IS COMPLETELY AWESOME! Me and my sister are now obsessed with Kristin Chenoweth. So I was just browsing around, when i realized, "oh snap! Schmergo has a Wicked parody!" SO I READ IT! AND I T WAS COMPLETELY AWESOME!
My favorite part:
And I’ll stand there, a proud wizard
Where they’ll all look up to me.
And though I’d never show it
I’d be so pleased, I could go… SQUEEE!
haha. Squee.
Random Question: It says that this story is not completed, but I'm pretty sure it is. So you might want to fix it. (or does Wicked have 3 acts? I've never actually see it.)
Cool parody!
H_T
Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! I have fun writing these musicals... and I think Kristin Chenoweth is great! You're right, though, this one IS finished. Good eye.
Date: 08/20/09 Title: Chapter 2: Act 2
Okay, so I could go on and on about how fabulous you are, like you've heard a billion and five times already...OR I could copy and paste my favorite parts!!
PETUNIA:
Oh my gosh… Lily and James dead… killed by wiz… those people… nothing could kill their son… WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM!?!?!
(At the sound of her screech, a flock of birds takes off from the nearby telephone wires. Meanwhile, cut to the disembodied spirit of Lord Voldershmookins.)
HARRY:
So you went batpoo insane, you mean.
HARRY:
It’s just… for the first time, I feel… wicked.
This line is pretty funny in such a different context.
Like a bomb that detonates and just destroys a whole town
Like a bear that rips your face off on a hike through the wood.
When your life ends, mine will change for the better
But because I knew you…
Voldiekins is sweet, isn't he?
BOTH:
So none of it seems to matter anymore!
Like a pond that’s been polluted (Like a bomb that detonates and)
By a neighboring plant (Just destroys a whole town)
Like a proud tree felled and splintered
Into firewood (Like a bear that rips your face off in the wood!)
When your life ends, mine will change for the better
I love that last line. Gives you a warm fuzzy feeling, doesn't it?
I LOVE THIS PARODY. Awesome job, Schmergo!
H_T
Author's Response: THANKS, DUDETTE! (Hey, you can even nominate this spoof for best poetry for the QSQs, eh? Heh, just kidding.) Haha, thank you, I think "For Good" was my favorite as well!
The Infamous Hogwarts Sorting by The Scribbler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The halls of Hogwarts have haunted Ron’s dreams for eleven years. Now that it’s finally the summer before his first year at Hogwarts, he can hardly wait for his letter to arrive. What could anyone possibly say to dampen such good spirits? Enter Fred and George Weasley.
I am The Scribbler of Slytherin and this is my final exam for my Humor class.
Date: 08/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Not since the great feast of ’91 (better known as last night’s supper).
That's funny.
“It was the worst thing I had to go through in my entire life. It was worse than when Mum caught me for the Knitting Incident.”
Ron’s mouth fell open in astonishment. He remembered that tragic time. What could be worse than the Knitting Incident? “WHAT IS IT?”
WHAT THE HECK IS THE KNITTING INCIDENT? It must have been pretty bad, though. Lol.
Awww......I love the ending. I love your characterization of Mrs. Weasley.
H_T
Author's Response: The Knitting Incident was so terrible that the Weasleys wouldn't even tell me what happened. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
Pride and Pre-Juiced Plums: A Potter's Pentagon Love Story by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A companion piece to the Potter's Pentagon trilogy... it's better if you've read the Potter's Pentagon trilogy, but you don't necessarily have to.
It's five years after Emma Weasley and her chums graduated from Hogwarts. Ted and Ivy are married, Haley is working at Madame Puddifoot's while trying desperately to break into show business, Jordan's doing whatever it is he does, and Emma is an Auror trainee working as a guard at the Chudley Cannons' stadium. The Cannons have actually been doing much better lately, due to their new star Beater, Tyrone Thomas. Unfortunately, Tyrone is Emma's ex-boyfriend. OH, THE AWKWARDNESS.
Follow Emma through her awkward adventures told in her usual insane way, as she experiences angst, hilarity, obnoxiously strange people, misadventures involving a deceptively dashing cad, Haley's wedding, the birth of Ted and Ivy's baby, and her own eventual descent into LURRRVE.
Written for the marvellous Vindictus Viridian's Pride and Prejudice NEWTs class on the Fanfiction Beta Boards, based on Jane Austen's fantastic novel, "Pride and Prejudice.".
Nominated in the 2008 Quicksilver Quills Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance Story! And its lovely (haha) heroine, Emma Weasley, received two nominations for Best Female Original Character, while Haley Potter and Ivy Potter each received one! Thanks so much, guys!
Date: 08/23/09 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8: Long Letters and Short Tempers
Sup, Schmergo!
I am SOOOOO beyond glad you updated this.
“Ted wrote,” she said simply, her calm, quiet voice managing to express in two words all of the emotion that Haley would in five paragraphs, lots of screams, several hugs, all kinds of dancing and jumping up and down, a few lines of spontaneous singing, and the demise of a ceramic kitten or two.
Haha. Love this line. Boy, those ceramic kittens are everywhere, aren't they? How many does Haley have?
If Ivy didn’t want her private relationship with her husband out in the open, she wouldn’t be walking around with his baby sticking out of her belly.
That line is so EMMA. Looove it. :-)
Tyrone had put Ted up to this. That was a nice thing of him to do—imagine this sentence uttered with a heaping spoonful or two of sarcasm poured on top. From the sound of it, he didn’t even think of asking Ted before he went and spread the word that sure, Ted Lupin would just LOVE to hang out with a bunch of savage werewolves in the middle of nowhere.
Okay, that is some serious mess. Tyrone had better watch out.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I demanded.
Ivy sighed. “I thought you’d take it the wrong way, she said.
I love that line. Not sure why.
Ted is a nice guy and all, but he’s JUST TED!
lol.
Tyrone almost dropped his toad gear.
toad gear? That sounds cool.
“I’m starting to think you have NO definition of ‘nice,’” countered Tyrone.
Join the club, Tyroonie.
Seriously. Emma is going to try murdering Tyrone in his sleep ANY DAY NOW.
It’s like she’s a little kid who’s opening a Christmas present hoping to find the toy broomstick he asked for and instead he finds the corpse of his beloved pet hamster.
okay, I'm not gonna ask...
Okay, I loooooooove this chapter so dang much, but I am completely confused by who's who in the whole P and P thingy. oh well.
How many chapters does this thingy have?
I will try my best to download your thingy. I am not so good at downloading thingies without the help of my father.
DUDE! I wish I had a facebook!
Laters. :-)
H_T
Author's Response: Whoa, HT, this is a long review! Thank you so much! The bit about the corpse of the pet hamster was inspired by this hilarious letter that a guy wrote when he felt he endured horrible service on Virgin airlines. You can find it if you search for best complaint ever virgin atlantic on google. It's pretty hilarious! As for who's who in Pride and Prejudice, that all becomes clear in a few chapters when Emma has a little epiphany. Downloading the audiofiction is really easy if you have iTunes installed on your computer. Just search for Audiofictions, find the ones with the artist 'The Mermuggles,' and click 'download' next to episodes 76, 77, and 82, for freeeee! I wish you had a facebook, too...
Date: 07/20/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue: Me, Me, and Also Meeee
Wow, this is so cool! my very first review!
Sup, Schmergo. can i just say that i am a HUUUUUUUGE ( can i spam in this? hmmm......) fan of yours. I've been begging for months to get this account, and now i HAVE IT! YAY! anywho, i looooooove this story. it's really...good. wow, am i eloquent or what? i really like this chapter (trying to remember what happpens because it's been like a month since i reread this story) because it's finally starting to sound Tyremma. is that how you spell the ship name? whatever. anyway, i don't like this Wolfgang dude. i bet he's really evill.
PLEASE UPDATE THIS! i love this story sooooo much and i know you haven't updated in like 6 months, and i don't want you to leave me hanging.
i'm sorry if htis review irritated you. i'm sure tons of people always tell you to update, and you get tired of hearing it. and this review is really random. sorry about that.
well, i'm off to add you to my favorites...(as soon as i figure out HOW)
Author's Response: Wow, what perfect timing! I'm just about to submit another chapter! I'm sooo glad you like this story. And yo, Tyremma all the way!
Crack. Crack. by megan_lupin
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A young woman walks home at a very late hour, but things are not always peaceful in the night. Especially during a war.
Written for tc015 of MNFF in the Gryffindor Halloween Drabble Exchange (2006).
Date: 08/15/09 Title: Chapter 1: ....
................................................................wow. This is really depressing, but extremely well written. Your prose is excellent. Well done.
H_T
Daughter of the Dark Side by Lyra Lestrange
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary:
Lindsey Tonks appears to be a normal, almost invisible Hogwarts student, but underneath her is someone far from normal. What the world doesn't know is that Lindsey is the daughter of two well-known imprisoned Death Eaters, and has an identity she must hide from the world. Underneath Lindsey is a girl named Lyra Lestrange, a girl who is meant to be a secret forever. But will it last forever?
*Begins in GoF and follows the series through DH.
**Will appeal to fans of the Black family! Prominent characters are Bellatrix, Tonks, Andromeda, Sirius, and (to an extent) Narcissa.
Part Four Synopsis:
It's the summer after Albus Dumbledore's death, and the whole world is falling to Voldemort and the Death Eaters. Broken-hearted Lyra, unable to return to Hogwarts, must go into hiding with her family. It doesn't last long, and eventually Lyra is faced with a choice: join or die. Lyra's decision comes with many surprises, including a new ally who follows her to the final battle of good versus evil. While Lyra's path may seem clear, she finds herself torn between two sides for the final time, and in the end, despite tragedy and loss, Lyra accomplishes the impossible...which defies all of the agreements she and her family ever made.
Three years later, the fic has been completely finished! Enjoy reading it without having to wait for new chapters. Thanks to those who patiently waited and faithfully reviewed!
Date: 08/19/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
Interesting. I've seen this story all over the place, so i decided to read it. Pretty good so far.
Author's Response: Thanks! I didn't realize it was all over the place. I guess it's because of the quick updates.
Date: 08/19/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1- The Campsite
Good Chapter.
All I knew was that Bellatrix screamed as they dragged her away, yelling, “No! I have a daughter who needs me! Lyra needs me! Don’t send me to Azkaban; I need to look after her!”
That sounds kinda unlikely to me. Wouldn't you think Bellatrix is the kind of person who doesn't really care about her daughter?
Otherwise, Great chapter.
Author's Response:
I get what you're saying, but Bellatrix is also trying to get out of going to Azkaban. She's panicking and doing whatever she can. She's a complicated character in this story and kind of difficult to write (in future chapters, I kind of feel my self contradicting her previous statements and such). It's kind of difficult to explain, but hopefully as the story goes on the relationship Bellatrix has with Lyra will make more sense. Thanks for the review!
I Wish I'd Taken Muggle Studies by OliveOil_Med
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: A potion has been created that has the ability to strip a wizard of their powers: a potion the Ministry of Magic couldn't wait to get their hands on. After the Battle of Hogwarts, lesser convicted Death Eaters are given a choice: go to Azkaban, or spend the rest of their lives as Muggles. While many people refused such a degrading option as a matter of pride, one Draco Malfoy chose the potion. Now, cast into the city of London, Draco both struggles with, and eventually enjoys his adaptation into the Muggle way of life.
But what happens when the effects of the potion turn out to be not-so permanent?
Date: 08/29/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue Muggles' Brew
Okay...Awesome beginning, of course, but this doesn't really sound very humor fiction-ey...I'm sure it wil., though.
Author's Response: Well, this story was adopted, and one of the conditions was to make this a dark comedy, so it really isn't meant to be a really 'laugh out loud' funny story. Besides, it is somewhat hard to make a story about being disowned funny. But hopefully now that that part of the story is over, it will start to get funnier, especially now that Draco is blending into the Muggle world.
Alexandra Quick and the Thorn Circle by Inverarity
Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Summary:
Winner of the 2008 Quick Silver Quills Award for Best General Story.
The first book in the Alexandra Quick series.
The war against Voldemort never reached America, but all is not well there. When 11-year-old Alexandra Quick learns she is a witch, she is plunged into a world of prejudices, intrigue, and danger. Who wants Alexandra dead, and why?
This story is canon-compliant with the Harry Potter universe, but the characters and settings are all original. I've put a lot of work into envisioning a world as detailed as the original series; I hope you enjoy it.
Date: 03/15/10 Title: Chapter 8: Grundy's
I've been reading this story on and off alll day, and I LOVE IT. I especially like how you've created a completely different wizarding world, but with little references to Harry Potter.
Date: 03/15/10 Title: Chapter 11: Remedial Magic
I really love your characterization of David. Another thing I really like about this story is that it touches on racial prejudice and not just the magical kind.
Potter's Pentagon: The Past (Book Three) by Schmerg_The_Impaler
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!
WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.
It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?
New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.
Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 23: Chapter 23: In Which All's Fair In Love And War
YES, THANK YOU FOR UPDATING I WAS DYING OF BOREDOM AND NOTHING IS ON TELEVISION BUT HANNAH MONTANA.
ANYwho,
“EMMA!” he yelled, and swore incredibly loudly. “GET OUT OF MY WAY!” he yelled, shoving Harry Potter into a wall in his quest to reach Emma.
That has to be like, irony or something...
I love Tyremma. But I don't know how you're gonna continue Pride and Prejuiced Plums after this.
OH SNAP TED KILLED THE DUDE!
Awesome chapter, please update soon.
and yes, it's immature, but may i just say:
FIRST!
Author's Response: Bahahahaaaaa, Hannah Montana. And I randomly edited the "GET OUT OF MY WAY" into the final draft of the chapter because the idea made me giggle. "ARGH, HARRY POTTER, YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT! MOVE!" But oh, I am definitely continuing Pride and Prejuiced Plums. Besides, I made it clear in P&P that they dated at Hogwarts and broke up after they graduated, so that still works here. It's other plot elements that don't! But it's not supposed to be compliant with "The Past." Ahaha, yes, Wormtail, yes you were first. ^_^