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Hermiones_Therapist [Contact]
07/19/09




hey, I'm Hermiones_Therapist, or something like that. not really. I live in the good ol' U.S. of A., and i'm a teenage girl. i will be joined from time to time by my little sister, the Supreme Ruler of Jello, or SROJ. i like harry potter better though. she just likes to mooch.

Me:

fave color: Purple

food: sushi

tv show: Home Improvement

vegetable: CORN IS THE BEST AND FUNNIEST OF ALL VEGETABLES

am i crazy: YES!!!

i'm a huge HP fan (NO! Really?), and I loved the new 6th movie.


my name: it's random, i know. i don't know where i got it. probably just me being weird and random.

meee!!! meaning the Supreme Ruler of JELLO!!!

fav. color:
blue and yellow. yeah its a tie...i dont care enough to decide which one i like better..

food:
mac and cheese!! o, and jello.....duh

t.v show:
whale wars on animal planet!!

the name??!!!?

hello!!! I LOVE JELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, thats all for now......TTFN!!

PEACE!!!

H_T: Apparently, insanity is genetic in our family.



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Stories by Hermiones_Therapist [1]
Favorite Authors [2]
Favorite Stories [8]
Hermiones_Therapist's Favorites [10]
Reviews by Hermiones_Therapist


Potter's Pentagon: The Past (Book Three) by Schmerg_The_Impaler

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: The final installment in the Potter’s Pentagon Trilogy. Read “The Five” and “The Truth” first, myess? Okay!

WARNING! Contains Muggle adventures in Diagon Alley, unusual eyebrows, cheesy clichés galore, psycho Ted, the not-so-lost years of Merlin, a school-wide singalong, the old potato joke, Tyrone’s Princess Bride obsession, Emma’s stubborn denial of the existence of Tyrone’s mustache, a graphic death, a joke shop product as a major plot device, hobo Jordan, Jordan hugging, Jordan pulling pranks, time travel, the Love Shack, angst, and worst of all, Professor Zabini.

It’s the sixth year for Potter’s Pentagon and company, and our heroes learn that in the wizarding world, coming of age has a somewhat weightier significance. Students are busy with an Inter-House Unity Project, Jordan is having weird dreams, Pansy and Ophidias Malfoy have been released from Azkaban, Professor Zabini has a mysterious project of his own, and almost everyone is acting strangely. Meanwhile, at the Ministry of Magic, a man with a vendetta against Ron Weasley is trying his hardest to get him in the biggest trouble possible. Is the only way to save him to travel into the past?

New talents are discovered, new friendships form and old ones change, pasts are dredged up, and, of course, there’s lots of good old-fashioned snogging. And one of the five kills for the first time… while another becomes a casualty of war.

Starring 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, Emma Weasley, and Giorgi Anderson, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin! Nominated for 2008 Quicksilver Quills Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/28/09 Title: Chapter 21: Chapter 21: In Which Haley Takes The Plunge

Sup, Schmergo!

Boy, you really are churning these out, aren't you? Not that I'M complaining...:-)

His eyes were dark and hard and his face might have been marble, and if his hand was only inside his jacket, he might have been channeling Napoleon. He at least had the ‘short’ part covered.

That's funny.

Even Tyrone thought he was acting disturbingly Tyronish since discovering Telemency.

lol. That's WAAAAAAAY too much confidence.

So when is the chapter where somebody dies?

Wait.......what about the whole Ravenclaw riddle dealie? Oh yeah, it's DH disregarded. my bad.

“And this is Ivy Potter, and the girl drawing smiley faces on her shoes is her sister Haley, and that’s Emma Weasley, and the boy with the toad is Tyrone Thomas.”

Tyrone doesn't have his toad WITH him, does he? cuz that would be funny.

But before they could reach the Room of Requirement, their progress was stopped by an unexpected person. “Well, bonjour,” said Anatoly Capshaw, leaning lazily up against the wall near the Room of Requirement. “You all seem to look very purposeful and epic-heroic. I’m guessing something out of my depth is about to happen?”

Haley looked around at the faces of her friends, unsure of what to say to Anatoly. On one hand, she didn’t want to lie to him; on the other, she also didn’t want her brother to incur his wrath upon her. “Ummm… well, we’re going… somewhere… to do… something,” she said eloquently.

Of course Anatoly shows up. lol. It's hilarious how he just takes the whole thing in stride.

In a strangely palpable sort of way, time whizzed past them, while their feet remained rooted to the ground (with the exception of Haley, who seemed to be doing a nervous little step dance of anticipation). The other seven shrieked and gasped as though riding an especially ferocious roller coaster and grabbed each other’s arms and (in the confused jumble) necks.

At last, the maelstrom cleared. And when it did, the house wasn’t there anymore.

WAIT! WHAT ABOUT GIORGI? WHERE IS GIORGI? or did I miss her?

“I just realized,” said Haley, “I really, really hate the name Jeremy.”

Is there a character named Jeremy here somewhere? or is Haley being random?

'All of his smiles were pretty wining. “Oh, that I understand. But trust me, we’re not Death Eaters,” he laughed.'

that second "wining" should be winning.

“Oh, I have to duel now!” she squealed. “See you around! Or… not see you around, Invisi-Boy!” She winked and skipped off, wand clutched in hand.

Haley ROCKS.

The man, who seemed to be a new recruit to the Death Eaters, scratched the back of his neck and muttered, “Er, I’m Jeremy Corking, and er—”

“You know what?” said Haley, her tone suddenly weirdly bright as she got to her feet. She looked Jeremy Corking straight in the eye, and there was much more than innocence shining in those eerily yellow-green eyes of hers. “I really, really hate the name Jeremy.”

OOOOOOOOOOH! I GET IT NOW!

AAAAAAAAH! WHY DID HALEY DO THAT?

SHE'D BETTER NOT BE DEAD!!!

AAAAWWWWWWWEsome chapter.

REgarding your first author's note, I WISH I could nominate your thingy for QQs, but I have no clue how, plus I'd have to join the beta boards. although i might do that soon anyway because my last rejection email told me to get a beta.

H_T

Author's Response: Yeah, these last several chapters have been updating fast because they all have kinda cliffie endings... I like to keep 'em close together. BUT MAYBE I'LL MAKE IT A COUPLE MONTHS BEFORE MY NEXT ONE, JUST TO FREAK PEOPLE OUT. Hahahahahaa.... I combined two chapters together into this one, and same goes for a few other chapters, so the chapter numbering system is out of whack...

I wrote this story way before DH, so when I saw the thing about the Ravenclaw riddle in DH, I was literally like, "WAAAAIT NO THAT'LL RUIN MAH CHAPTER..." But I just ignored it, like most of the stuff from DH. I was imagining Tyrone having some kind of man-bag with him-- a sort of messenger bag-- with the toad riding in it. He kinda takes Fido everywhere.

Sadly, Giorgi's not in this part of the story. I think the final battle would be too much for a Muggle. But Tyrone did ask if Jordan was going to bring Giorgi, and he glared at him and basically said, "Don't be an idiot..." Don't worry, we'll see more of Giorgi later.

HALEY DOES TOTALLY ROCK. I felt bad about dropping her off of a roof... nominating stuff for the QSQs is pretty easy, but I certainly would not make you try and join the beta boards, haha. Thanks so much for this wonderful long review!



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 09/11/09 Title: Chapter 22: Chapter 22: In Which Our Heroes Suffer Boo-Boos

HHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SPAMMING! HALEY DIDN'T DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!1111

duuuuuuude this chapter is awesome!

and depressing!

and Whaaaaaat happened to Emma?

Please update soon. (I promise i won't spam as much.)

DARN! someone reviewed this before me!

*grumble* *grumble*

H_T

Author's Response: Believe me, I will update so quickly... because these were originally the same chapter, so I edited them at the same time. But haha, yeah, Haley didn't diiiie.... the next chapter is REALLY intense though.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 01/16/10 Title: Chapter 25: Chapter 25: In Which (Almost) All Is Revealed

OMG. I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF.

I didn't check my email for like a week, and when I finally realized this story had been updated! Mugglenet wasn't working! I feel soo behind. Man, it's been a while since I was on this site.

AAAAAANYWHO,

“Well, that entire mission was a complete fiasco!” Anatoly announced cheerfully.

I. LOVE. HIM.

“Like when Errol got caught in the trunk of some Muggle salesman’s car,” Ron explained.

yeah. I can totally see that happening.

OMG. RON KILLED HIM. Actually, I really like how Harry can't kill him but Ron can. That just sort of fits Ron's character.

I love how you had Harry kill Voldie. I could totally see that happening. But what about the snake? Wouldn't that make him come back or something?

Jordan smiled. “The last Horcrux was Dad."

oh. ok then

"Jordan didn’t have a single thing to say in response to this, mainly because he was so shocked by the fact that Haley of all people was telling him to grow up."

heehee.

I love how you compare the growing of Emma's aura to the Grinch's heart. That's funny.

Okay, EPIC chapter.

yuppers.

H_T

Author's Response: WADDUP WADDUP! Lovely to hear from you again! And yeah, I mentioned a couple times in the FIRST Potter's Pentagon book that Ron has used the killing curse, but Harry discovered he couldn't, so I had to include that scene in there somewhere. As for the snake-- she wasn't a Horcrux (you probably figured that out)... I figured Dumbledore might not be right about that part of his theory. Thank you SOOO much for your review! I'm submitting the next chapter tomorrow-- I'm going to AMISH COUNTRY and having my first college interview, and I always edit my stories when I'm on road trips!



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 03/14/10 Title: Chapter 26: Chapter 26: In Which Loose Ends Are Tied Up

SCHMERGO! I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON!

Well not really. But I missed 2 WHOLE CHAPTERS!!! AUGH!

So, anyway.

I fine Ron saying he was mature for his age absolutely hilarious.

I love Anatoly's balloon animals.

THE POTATO SAVES THE DAY! How ironic is that?

“Wait a minute.” Giorgi stopped him just as he was removing his broom from the shed. “You went back in time… you know, you always could’ve just borrowed my copy of the seventh Harry Potter book.”

Jordan stared at his friend, his eyes going wide. “I… am… incredibly… stupid…” he said slowly.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. THAT IS FUNNY.

Oh, I've missed this fic so MUCH!!! This is probably my favorite chapter so far.

Onward!

H_T

Author's Response: HEY THERRRRE! WADDAP! I'm so glad you liked that chapter... it's one of my personal favorites, too, hehehehe. And I'm happy that you liked the bit about the potato. I'm such a cheesy loony, I had to include that!



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 03/14/10 Title: Chapter 27: Chapter 27: In Which Cheesiness Reaches New Heights

Ted's description of waiting rooms is perfect.

Oh, Ted is sooo cheesy! I just love him.

Ivy saying goodbye to Draco...sad. But you know, in a good way.

Yay, I loved this chapter!

H_T

Author's Response: Why, thank you so much! I love Ted's cheesiness, too. I have a friend who reminds me SO much of Ted, and his dorkiness just makes me smile every day.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 03/15/10 Title: Chapter 28: Epilogue: There And Back Again

SCMERGO!!! HI!

I can't believe this was updated a day after I reviewed the last two chapters! Yay!

OH MY GOODNES. HALEY RAISED AN EYEBROW. THAT HAS TO BE THE COOLEST ENDING EVER!

There's my favorite moment/quote right there. Oooh, and I loved Tyrone's t-shirt slogan "silence is golden duct tape is silver."

OMG TED PROPOSED THAT IS SOOOO STINKING ADORABLE!!!

"Oh no, I’ve given birth to Tyrone Thomas, thought Jordan."

Wait. THAT'S MY NEW FAVORITE QUOTE.

Omg, I love Haley and Jordan's future thingies.

Oh my goodnes,, I absolute LOVE that you put Dumbledore's quote from DH in there. That rocks.

Wow, that was the best epilogue ever.

AND NOW IT'S OVER!!! Sadness!

Oooh, and my favorite character is Haley cuz she's really funny and perky.

Please up date Pride and Prejudiced Plums soon!

H_T

Author's Response: HI HI HI HI HIIIIIIIIIII! I actually didn't expect this to be posted today, so I didn't think anyone would read it, but I edited the story and extended the Ted/Ivy scene (I forgot to type it up earlier) and added a tiny bit in later to the Jordan part at the end. But yeppers, thank you SOOO MUCH for your review! This must have been the fastest update ever! I am so glad that you really like the Haley eyebrow thing... THAT MOMENT HAS BEEN COMING FOR YEARS! And this review is making me SOOOO HAPPY IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY! Much love, Schmergo



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 12/04/09 Title: Chapter 24: Chapter 24: Is This A Kissing Book?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HAD THE MOST FANTABULOUS REVIEW EVER WRITTEN OUT AND IT'S GONE!!!

So.

RON DIED! SNAP! EMMA DIED! SNAP!

oh, and when Jordan bursts through doors saying, "It's me, Jordan!' he needs to say it with JAZZ HANDS.

Emma hugged him. “All right, but I get to be the girlfriend.”

POINTS FOR DRAKE AND JOSH REFERENCE.


AHAHAHAHA TYREMMA IS SO ADORABIBBLE And so is TED AND IVY! THEY ARE CUUUUUTE!

and Haley and Anatoly must get together.

fantabulous chapter, i'm just sad that my FANTABULOUS LONG REVIEW got deleeted. :( sadness.

ANYwho, after reading all this stuff about the Princess Bride, me and my sister (SROJ) and my brother watched it and IT. IS. EPIC.

yuppers.

H_T

Author's Response: RAAAAAWAAAAAAGAAAAAAA... HEEYYY! I miss all of these updates and reviews and stuff! And the "It's me, Jordan!" reminds me of the famous, "It Is I, Remus John Lupin!" from Deathly Hallows, which I was kinda obsessed with quoting for awhile-- I love yelling it in a roaring, crazy voice. And I am SOOOOOO GLAD that you got the Drake and Josh reference! That's like the greatest show of all time. I am kind of in love iwth Josh. And... hooray, more Princess Bride converts! I love that movie way too much.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/22/09 Title: Chapter 18: Chapter 18: In Which Jordan Sits and Sulks... So What Else Is New?

okay, i'm too lazy to review the last few chapters, so i'll just review 17 and 18 in one little review. I. LOVE. THIS. CHAPTER.

Jordan is not my favorite character (Sorry, Jordan!) but he's really...idk, deep in this chapter.

chapter 17 was too good, too, i just don't remember it too well and i'm too lazy to go back and reread it. Only Haley is insane enough to come up iwht an inner-house unity project thingy that involves the Beatles. Well, Haley and Anatoly. like, my sis, SROJ, Haley is my favorite character in this story cuz she's funny. wow, i'm deep.

anyway, i've been thinking, and you'd better kill Jordan off. here's my logic: you can't kill Ivy, or Ted will go on a psychopathic rage and kill everybody. You can't kill Ted, cuz Ivy would be all sad and stuff. you can't kill Haley, cuz she's funny. YOu can't kill Emma, because she's the one slated as teh most likely to die, and if she dies, how will she and Tyrone ever be together? it would be really awkward.

of course, i'm probably wrong.

can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hey there, Hermiones_Therapist! Man, what a cool username. I'm glad you liked the bit with Jordan, because he IS my favorite. ^_^ But I love Haley, too, and she's so much fun to write about, so I'm really glad you liked her project! By the way... interesting theory!



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/28/09 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: In Which Ivy Finds Fun In The Unlikeliest of Places

Sup, Schmergo.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWW!!!!! AN UPDATE! AND A COMPLETELY AWESOME ONE, AT THAT. I'm tired of caps lock.

IVY AND TED ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! (never mind, not yet.)
It's official: I completely forbid you to kill Ted or Ivy. Or Emma. Or Tyrone. Kill Haley if you really want to. Wow, Pansy is such a butt monkey. You write her really well...btw, this is completely off topic (because i'm always on topic, right? as if!) but are you going to actually publish that Merlin and Arthur story you were talking about? Cuz it sounds funny.

AND YOU SAW HBP, TOO? I've seen it twice! Daniel Radcliff was waaaaaaaaay better in this one. In the last one, he was way too angsty. I wanted to shoot him. and you're right; Zabinni was awsome! the huge holes in the plot did bother me a little well...oh well. i'll get over it. Wow, this review was completely random and long! YAY FOR ME! I'm so hyper today...must be the pudding.

FINCHES RULE!

H_T

p.s. Guess what? someone reviewed my story! isn't that aaaaawwwwwsum?

Author's Response: Hey there! I am glad you like this happie! Whoa, I've never heard anyone say, "Kill Haley!" before... but you know, I've already written the whole story, so whoever dies, dies. And it would be hilarious to publish that Arthur and Merlin story, but it's not really publishable... too silly and nonsensical, plus it's that awkward length where it's too short to be a novel and too long to be a short story. I saw HBP twice, too... and I agree, Radcliffe has improved so much. There were really bad plotholes, but for some reason, I don't really care, since I've read the books, and I know the information that should fill the plotholes... so I'm too selfish to care about the people who don't understand the plottt.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/19/09 Title: Chapter 20: Chapter 20: In Which Things Start To Heat Up

Yay! How I do love updates!

“…and of course, the chief ingredient of Veritaserum is a large…”

“Potato.”

“Which, if used properly, will produce a potion with no discernable colour, taste, or…”

“Potato.”

lol. Potato joke again!

There was something freeing about it, he realized, being a lunatic. Was this how Anatoly felt all the time?

Anatoly is quite awesome, isn't he?

Jordan finally did his mind invasion! Fun!
But wait...you said someone was gonna die in this chapter, didn't you? Oh well. Maybe next time.

Awesome chapter, anyway. :-)

H_T

Author's Response: Thank you! ANd I like Anatoly... you'll see more of him! No one ever died in chapter 20, though... I know someone dies in either chapter 23 or 24, though...



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 09/26/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: In Which Jordan Has A Bad Experience With A Hobo

HAHAHAHA I GOT IT! I was sitting somewhere random, when I realized that that's what you meant when you said a joke shop item would be a major plot device! hahaha! I feel smart!

H_T

Author's Response: Mwahahaa, I am so clever!



The Deer Woman by OliveOil_Med

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: In New Orleans, wizards, vampires, and all men of races magical and non can be found. And in 1893, a non-discriminating serial killer begins picking off men on the streets, one by one, barely leaving any traces of the victims, let alone the killer themself. But when a British Auror becomes the latest victim, his partner joins the American Ministry in the investigation, only to find one conclusive possibilty in the form of a creature previously only known to Plains Indians that shows no compassion and no desire to stop killing...

The Deer Woman
Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/23/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue Blood

what I mean on my Chapter 1 (i mean the chapter after the prolologue) review was: it said earlier in the chapter that there had been 9 attacks. then, after she attacked Benjamin or whatever, it said "...as she had done to 8 other men on 8 other occasions. " so since she killed 9 men before him, wouldn't the number have been at least 9? or am i completely confused here?

Author's Response: Well you see, he means there were eight attacks BEFORE today, and the latest attack makes number nine.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/24/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2 Trampled

The plot thickens. wooooooow...great chapter. the whole French waitress thingy was a great plot twist; i did not see that coming.

Great chapter!

again.

Author's Response: I'm glad you are enjoying it.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/27/09 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3 Heritage

Wooooooooooooowwwwww...didn't see that coming. Great Chapter...again.

one little nitpick:
"An usually rare trait."

I think you mean an "Unusually" rare trait.

I like this story. Update this soon!

Author's Response: I hope to update soon. In the mean time, though, I'm writing a side-story for the summer challange.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/22/09 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue Blood

me again!

my computer once again logged me out, so i took your advice and told it to remember me.

wooooooooooww..this story is amazing!

you are officially going on my favorite authors list.

Author's Response: Wow! I'm happy to have such an honor, and you certainly do seem to be going a bit crazy with the reviews. Not going to rest until you've hit every story I have, huh? Just one question: did you have any problems with you 'Favorite Author' option? A lot of people on the site, including me, have been experiencing this realy weird bug that won't let us use the function.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 07/22/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 1 Fur

loved this chapter, but wouldn't it be 9 other men on 9 other occasions, or did i read it wrong?

Author's Response: Well, I imagine the Deer Woman occasionally takes out more than one guy in a few attacks. Big city; she has to kill all the witnesses.



A Different View On Love by helz_belz

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: James would do anything to get inside Lily’s head. Lily would do anything to get away from James. Lily was brewing a banned potion. James went to find her. Lily made a mistake and the potion exploded. James got his wish, but is it much more than he bargained for?

Now Complete!



After a year the Epilouge is now up! Come read for a bit of fun!!

Runner up QSQ - Best Chaptered Canon Romance


Reason for Nomination:
This is the most unique take on how James and Lily really got to know each other. The story is hilarious and keeps you laughing throughout, but it never lets you forget the serious stuff. Plus, she somehow manages to end each chapter with a nice cliffhanger.

~~hestiajones
Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/17/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter One: Why Am I Doing This Again?

Wow! This sounds pretty cool! Which is something for me. I dont' even READ James and Lily stories! I've heard of a couple of stories where James and Lily get stuck in each other's bodies, but I haven't read any of them, so I'm looking forward to the next chapter. :-)

H_T



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/17/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two: When You Become Exceedingly Handsome

I'm enjoying this. :-)



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/17/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three: It Must Be The Shampoo

Lol. Awesome.



Reviewer: Hermiones_Therapist Signed
Date: 08/17/09 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four: I Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love, Babe

I have no clue what will happen next, and I'm not even gonna guess. I'm certainly enjoying my self, though. :D