Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 08/02/13 Title: Chapter 1: The Reinvented Self

I almost never review poetry because I don't know enough about the art of writing it to say much that is useful. I clicked on this because I have become a fan of your drabbles, and your summary drew me in. I like it a lot. The last stanza really defines the Dursley we know in canon, but it is a sadder picture you draw here... that the height of his goals, everything he is reaching for, is really rather shallow and must be protected lest his past (completely respectable) be exposed. You made a me feel a bit sorry for him, and that is saying something.

Nice poem.

Author's Response: It is cheering to hear you say that you are a fan of my drabbles, since I always think that some other people's drabbles are better than mine. When I envisioned Vernon as trying to ascend the social ladder in a pretty stratified society, suddenly it all seemed to make sense. Perhaps many people who are bullies really have secret fears and insecurities which they are trying to cover up. That could make us feel sorry for them. Thank you so much for reviewing.

Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 09/30/13 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Natalie, you know I don't review much poetry, but this is such a beautiful and heartbreaking image of George... love the idea of the shimmer to his left and Molly's smile "a half slimmer." So glad you included a bit of hope here at the end. Lovely stuff.

Author's Response: Thank you, Lori, for reading and leaving such a lovely review! :) I love, love receiving reviews from those who generally don't do poems - that makes me feel like I was able to establish the right connections!

Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 10/08/13 Title: Chapter 1: The Kitchen

I like this. I don't read much next gen, but I think the kids are interesting here, almost as interesting as Harry. I will definitely be watching for the next installment. Happy writing.

Author's Response: Thank you! I've put this in Post-Hogwarts rather than Next-Gen because the kids aren't really going to be in it much after this chapter and the focus will be on Harry. However, having a chance to play around with their personalities here has made me think about writing a next gen story or two, which I've not been interested in before. The next few chapters should come along fairly swiftly - they are most written, just need a bit of editing and tweaking in places. Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 06/16/14 Title: Chapter 1: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me

Nicole, my fellow Puff! Greetings. I'm so glad this fic was featured. I knew you were planning to finish what you were working on for the romance class, but must have missed this when it came through the queue. I was surprised to see you only had two reviews for this, and then amused after I read them. This is the beauty of how you write: it's so (beautifully) out-of-the-box that readers aren't sure what to do with it. It seems to have provoked a lot of questions, which isn't a bad thing. Style is something readers will always disagree upon as it boils down to personal taste. But I happily own to being a huge, huge fan of the way you write. Your subject matter tends to be darker than what I generally read, but I'm positively addicted to the way you use words. In your hands, they bend and twist until they are inside-out... it's a beautiful, creative way to say what you want to say.

This fic was no exception.

I like the first-person voice you chose for Scorpius. He must love her but we don't really have that language going on. I found the hug at the sea quite moving and the understated frustration he felt as how reluctant Rose was to be touched. These are flawed characters and unusual ones, too, which you accentuated by giving us Lily-Lou's perspective on it all. Fruitcakes, indeed.

At first, I wasn't sure if Rose was real or not. Even thought you used the word ghost, I didn't take you literally since you are the master of metaphor. Plus, Scorpius was obviously drunk and depressed, so I wasn't sure how reliable his perspective was at that point. But once that became clear, the fic did settle into a kind of sadness and remain there. I say "a kind" because Rose's Peeves-like behavior kept the fic from becoming truly depressing, and yet, she's dead and he's alone and uncertain, and if that's not sad, I don't know what is. I felt so sad that Rose chose not to gon, and even sadder for Scorpius. What will this mean for him? Will he never be able to move on from her, I wonder, if she is still there? The fic doesn't need to answer all these questions. Rather, the questions are part of the story.

I can't help wondering... Did you consider putting this in D/A? Or did you feel it would get more reads in NG? Just curious, as I think it would have done well in either category.

The jumping around in time kept me on my toes. In theory, I think non-linear fics are a great idea, but I am such a linear thinker that they do force me to squint and concentrate more than I usually care to when reading for pleasure. I managed to keep up for the most part in this though. I do think it was effective to begin the way you did, with his return and the party and the discovery of Rose at the window... so the story could not have been told in order.

This is probably an unusual review but this fic is unusual, so maybe it's all right. Halfway through, I realized I've never read anything in else in fanfic remotely like this story. Quite an accomplishment, in my estimation, especially for Scorose.

I enjoyed this, Nicole, as I did all the work you did for the class. Happy writing! ~Lori

Author's Response:

Lori! :D Hello, my fellow Badger!

Can I say that this is absolutely one of the best reviews I've received in a very very long time?!?! I honestly don't know how to respond, and right now I'm so grateful and flabbergasted by all your compliments, and OK, I'm also feeling a bit guilty because I don't know whether I deserve all that praise you've heaped on me, but whatever - I just want to say a massive THANK YOU. Seriously. This review has just about made my entire week!

It means a lot to me, what you've said about my writing and about this piece; I really, really enjoyed writing this story. I post my fics up on other sites on the internet, and I must say that this piece has the most reads out of my other stories; I suspect that it's because this is a ScoRose. Yet this is also one of my stories which people don't seem to really like. And I understand, completely. It's really long for a one-shot; nothing really happens (all the fun is past and gone), and there's a bit of a downer ending. And it somehow just demands a lot from the reader - at least I think it does. So I always find it hugely flattering when someone reads to the end about Scorpius and Rose's long, difficult relationship.

Rose is definitely dead and a ghost in this fic. I have this tendency in my writing to downplay things a lot in my stories. Rose is a ghost? So she is. :) I love your comment about how the questions are part of the story. You're right; few questions are answered in this story, and I like to think that it's because Scorpius and Rose don't really know. They don't know what to do or where to go from where they currently are. Death is usually the final thing for characters and for stories, but that boundary's been crossed already, and both Scorpius and Rose are still there. There's hardly a happy ending; in fact, there's hardly an ending for the two of them. This story is just a small part of their lives that continue beyond the narrative.

Hmm, I never actually thought of putting this fic in D/A! I suppose there's some angst in it - but I honestly thought it was a more general story than one which revolved around a darker theme. But it really doesn't matter where this is placed in, I guess. Also, I'm glad the non-linear style of this fic didn't bother you too much! I enjoy non-linear stories a lot, writing and reading them!

Thank you so much once again, Lori, for your absolutely wonderful review! You're honestly amazing, and I hope to see you round on the boards soon! *hugs*

Nicole

Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 02/20/14 Title: Chapter 1: and fear surrounds me

This is an interesting little fic. I was pulled in right away by the nice flow of your writing and your take on Hannah. She is actually one of my favorite characters, so I had to click on this because there just aren't alot of Hannah-centric fics appearing on the Most Recents. You've especially captured her well in those younger years, which can be hard to do (at least for me), in terms of voice.

It's interesting that you chose to have her liking Neville all along, even from before the Yule Ball. I didn't always understand why Michael's love for Terry bothered so much, when she seemed at least as hung up on Neville as she was on Michael that whole time. But really, that's how it is sometimes, especially at that age, when love and crushes are confusing and you aren't really certain what you feel for who at any given time. You know? You captured that uncertainty very well.

I have to commend you on the portrayal of Hannah's little brother's grief. My younger brother was actually that exact same age when we lost a parent, and those sentences could have been written about him, exactly. I share that only because I just know how validated I feel when a reader with experience shares that something I wrote bears the ring of truth. And from my perspective, that section was extremely well done and powerful.

My only hesitation with the piece at all was that Hannah was so enamored with friends from other houses and there was less mention of her own friends in Hufflepuff. It's not a huge deal, really, as you don't do anything to suggest those relationships weren't there... it's just something that stuck out to me, as she is so often portrayed side-by-side with Ernie and Susan and Justin in canon.

The song you used for the title is actually one of my favorite songs right now. It's not every day you see a worship song title popping up in fanfiction (haha), so I was intrigued. I can see how you sprinkled the imagery of the lyrics throughout the piece, especially in the beginning... nicely done.

Nice writing on this. We need more Hannah fics in the world.

Author's Response: First off, thank you for your wonderful, constructive review! I'm glad you liked it! To answer your comments, I really wanted to show Hannah experiencing two very different kinds of love - with Neville, that kind of slow, building friendship which could turn into something more given time and with Michael, that all-consuming, burns bright and dies fast kind of first love. How you can be enamored with two people similarly for two very different reasons. Also, I didn't want Neville to be her first and only love interest. At that age, teenage love is often so messy and confusing and I'm glad it came off like that. I didn't want her pining for Michael either though, but Hannah needed to learn to accept that which she couldn't control, especially given that Michael wasn't exactly upfront to her about his feelings. Thank you, also, for your next comment. Having not personally known that kind of loss, I can only say that I wrote what I think I would feel in that situation and am glad I was able to portray it realistically and that it was able to resonate with you as the reader in some way. Since discovering Hillsong United and their song while looking for a title for the story, this song has quickly become a favourite of mine too even though I'm not religious or usually listen to worship songs. Funny, how sometimes lyrics just FIT though, and this one did, for me, instantly. -paperrose

Reviewer: WeasleyMom Signed
Date: 04/05/14 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 ~ Epiphanies

Carole, you've done it again. You've taken two seemingly random characters and made them work together. I didn't doubt you, but I do have a bit of an attachment to Terry, and as such, was crinkling my nose at him "settling" for Pansy. But you made it work, as you always do.

There's something in canon about Draco that makes him more redeemable. We see how his parents treat him, how little choice he seems to have at times (not excusing him, mind you), and how he struggles with himself over and over, sometimes even doing the right thing. And so he is ripe for a redemption story, and we have all written them. In contrast, I can't think of a single redeeming thing about Pansy in canon. She is hateful, the mean girl that everyone hated in high school, and what more could there possibly be to her? I like that you used this very contrast, between Draco and her, to show how unfair it is that Draco is eligible for redemption and Pansy is not. That was so well done, and the choice to have it pointed out by a friend was even better. Because as the reader, I agreed with them both. I'd read enough to believe Pansy shouldn't be defined by what she did in the battle, and yet, Anthony speaks truth, too. You handled it all so very well. It was important that you didn't minimize her crime either, but instead drew it out to its conclusion: Voldemort Might Have Won. I think her realizing this was important for her character development and for her being able to move forward with Terry.

Beautiful twist in having Terry's scar be the result of a drunken night when we all (including Pansy) assumed it was the badge of a hero. Hilarious turn, and I was grinning as I read.

I was reminded as I sank into this that I haven't read anything from in a while, and I've missed it. You have such a flow, such a good word choice all the time... every word is necessary, nothing ever in need of editing, and I find myself envious of that skill when I read your stories. So good. :)

I think we've discussed creative/unusual structuring in fics before, such as the frequent use of parentheses, so you know I'm not uaually a fan. They can be off-putting or distracting or something. But I can see why you chose to use them here, particularly to indicate a flashback or an aside in Terry's thoughts. We should chat about this sometime, as I'm wondering if you lean toward including them as part of your style of writing these days, or if you rather think certain fics lend themselves to it. Either way, it worked well here.

Great story, Carole. You made me think Pansy could deserve Terry, and that is quite an accomplishment. Hehe.

Author's Response: Thank you for such a gorgeous review, Lori. It really made my day/week/month.

Okay, parenthesis first. I am rather addicted to them at the moment, and think I probably over use them, but here there was a definite reason to show inner thoughts or flashbacks. I will tell you that I've started using them far more since reading The Casual Vacancy (and also Cuckoo'd Calling) because JK uses them to show flashbacks. It was odd first seeing that when I'm more used to italics, due to reading and writing online, but actually I soon got into the style and decided I liked it.

Onto Pansy: When I was writing this, I googled Pansy and discovered JK really didn;t have a good word to say about her at all. She's said Pansy is an amalgamation of all the girls that bullied her at school, so I can understand why she'd hate her to have a happy ending. I don't like Pansy in canon, either, but when you see what she did compared with Draco, then why can't she be capable of redemption. Since becoming consumed by the fandom, I do think JK did a disservice to the majority of her Slytherins (and the Claws, too) because they come across as very one-dimensional boo-hiss evil. I think she does possibly regret that because she said afterwards that some of the Slytherins returned to the Battle to fight FOR Harry, I just wish she'd written a line or two. Mind you, that gives us so much more to play with:) Pansy is a b****, and I hope I've shown that because I don't want this to be an apologist fic, but that doesn;t mean she wouldn't be able to lead a vaguely happy and possibly better life.

Ha ha - yeah, I wanted Terry's scar to be something unconnected to the Battle because everyone would assume he was a hero, except those that were at the firework night. I imagine that after the Battle, several of the fighters went off the rails for a while, so that's why I thought a drunken mishap was quite likely. Plus, being a Claw, he's bound to think he knows best - ha ha. I am mean to the Claws, really, I think I'm worse to them than to the Slyths.

Thank you again for such a fantastic review and I'm blushing at the compliments. ~Carole