Why not try someone totally different? Perhaps James Sirius Potter can get himself a nice girl...after she stops slapping him, of course.

And the story gets even better. You have a talent, and I'm looking forward to more.

Awwwwwww! I have always and always will be a huge sucker for a sappy love song. A dance in front of the Eiffel Tower without giving a damn about who's watching is the tantamount of romanticism, and I love it!!!

This piece was extremely fascinating. Now, I’m going to tell you what really struck me as a reader. : )

From the opening paragraph, this woman that you've created has been a mirror of the Tom that we know – with one minor exception. To me, the fact that you didn't give the countess a name added to that alluring mystique that you built around her. Her views on love, relationships, and the desire for power make her unusual, make her dark, and above all, make her dangerous.

One thing that really made the story of the countess more powerful is that she did not start off perfect. Far from it, in fact. From her humble upbringing in a single parent household, to her alcoholic mother, her shyness, and her abusive boyfriend, all of these things lent to a character that is real, multidimensional, and what I like to think of as perfectly flawed. Each one of these lemons that life has thrown her; she took them and made others eat them by turning the tables, by ‘improving’ herself. Her self-confidence is off the charts, and to me, that’s what really makes this whole story for me.

Her identity crisis after school, from leaving her boyfriend to live in the Muggle world, up to the point when she left her Muggle life behind, helped to establish a baseline for me as a reader. This was her at one of her lowest points in life, the point when she decided that there was nowhere to go but up, and she was the one that would make that happen. It takes some sort of guts and determination to decide to leave everything behind and start anew, and while having magic does help, it’s still an upheaval of an emotional sort. Her very fabric as a person, that inner strength that got her through a terrible childhood, shines through in her ability to make the necessary changes in her life, to achieve what she believes she wants – power. Ironically, she gets this power by leaving behind what other people wanted her to be, as illustrated by this:

She had found it fascinating that now, when she no longer dreamed or desired men or love, they yearned for her and her love.

Isn’t it funny, she thought to herself one day as she caught the attention of a man sitting at another table in the restaurant, when I no longer need anybody, they need me.

The countess’s demeanour, the way she made men turn and look, to exalt her as someone they must have, gave her something that she had never experienced, which was power over the gender that had repressed and abused her. Whether it was her father leaving her when she was a baby, the boys she crushed on that never looked twice at her, or the abusive boyfriend, she finally had the same power over them as they once had over her. That was what she (thought she) wanted. Each passing line makes me appreciate this character that you’ve built more and more.

The way you portrayed the actual Tom was very fitting. He was charming, silver-tongued, and disarming. His powers of deception, of course, were even better. It was like a dance, watching the countess and Tom dodge questions with satiny lies, which would have fooled anyone else but one another. This dynamic was so very important to your main theme, and may I say, you made it work for you quite nicely. You gave us a small glimmer of hope that Tom could change, could make the right decision about how he felt about love and needing people, but inversely, we knew that he turned down that chance, considering he became Voldemort/The Dark Lord and all. He was, as you pointed out, just like her – an equal.

I admit, at first, throughout a majority of the fic, while I loved the countess’s character, I was a little confused about what it had to do with Tom Riddle outside of the title and parallel of their lives. Then you showed her trip to Knockturn Alley and Borgin and Burke’s, and it all became so startlingly clear, you tricky devil, you. Each encounter between them, such as their first tea, their lunch dates, and eventually that final dinner together, added to this perfect storm, the symmetrical psyches.

The moment that he threatened her with his wand was a strong moment in terms of how alike both of them are, because even though a normal/sane person would most likely wet themselves at the sight of a wand ready to kill him/her. But not the countess; she was so certain, so sure – and so right – that Tom could not kill her, despite the fact that he had done so before, that she simply kept on with her point. To make this woman this worldly and this sure of everything, is a difficult task without making her a tragic Mary Sue, but you did wonderfully.

The countess was not saddened or disappointed, for she had already foreseen that that was his fated choice; the choice of Tom Riddle.

This is yet another feather in your cap as to the similarities between your character and Tom. She saw it because she lived it, but to show how she differed from Tom in that she learned her lesson – that power isn’t everything – made the end of the fic superb. The reason I believe that she had learned a lesson is the fact that she knew that Tom would always choose power over love, but she tried to change his mind anyway. That is something that none of the previous versions of her would have bothered to do.

Now, since I’ve summarily adored your characterisation, I shall move on to the next bit, which is writing style. One of the things that I, as a reader, look for is that the writing style leads me at just the right speed, but it doesn’t leave me lost or knowing the end before I get there. You did all of that so well. There was, at no point, where I could not follow or didn’t want to keep going because I already knew what was happening. The flow was excellent, which is very conducive to maximum enjoyment of the story.

I really appreciate the way that you used short and long sentences in all the right places. The way you used them really, in my perception, lent a great deal to how I interpreted the countess’s thoughts, like this passage:

He was tall, bulk and handsome. Most girls melted at the site of him, and so did she. To everybody’s surprise, at the end of her seventh year, the two were dating. They seemed like such a "cute" couple, but the girl held a dark secret: the man was abusive.

The shortness of her description of her boyfriend in the beginning made it seem like that is all that she noticed at first, as well as the ‘Most girls melted…’ part. As the sentences got longer and longer in this paragraph, the content and meaning behind them got deeper and deeper. Whether this was an intention of yours or not, I guess I’ll never know, but it still struck me as important to the meaning of several passages similar to the one above.

Overall, your original character came to life in this piece, and I hope you’re proud of what you accomplished with her. You should be, because having the ability to make such a complex and deep person out of a previously blank page is not an easy thing to do, yet you did.

The truly amazing part is that, if I’m not mistaken, this was written just after HBP came out, yet this Riddle that we see here is also in tune with the Voldemort at the end of DH. Harry gave him a chance to repent, to have some remorse, just like the countess did in your story, but both times, he refused. The way it conforms to canon that came after this fic is truly excellent, which speaks very well to how well you have a grip on Tom’s character.

Anyhow, I hope that you can look at this fic every once in a while and enjoy the work you’ve done, because I’m glad that I got the chance to read this. It’s enlightening on a deeper wavelength, and it’s extremely well written.

Take care and happy future writing!

Jess

So, in the end, Harry has...nobody? That just seems kinda wrong. But due to his new status as 'Dark Wizard,' he probably wouldn't let anyone that close, anyway.

This is certainly an interesting alternate take into the great Hunt for Horcruces (love the abridged pluralization), and if I thought Dumbledore turned out to be a prat in the end of DH, you by far (and skillfully) trumped that notion.

Certainly well-written, and judging by the state of my laundry, well-read. I have a hard time thinking of Snape and Potter becoming cronies after that, but it seems an appropriate irony.

All in all, after countless hours of reading and thinking...well done, I say.

PS-I thought Harry slam-dunking Tura and Voldemort talking about it casually was a little much for a 1st-2nd Year rating, but I'm old and jaded, so I secretly enjoyed it, lol.

Author's Response: Yeah, I think Harry would end up a little too scary for regular people. I can envision a far distant epilogue after Snape dies (peacefully, of natural causes) where he and Tura eventually get together. As for the rating...well, nothing's really explicitly stated except in archaic language, so my hope is the kiddies don't really understand it.

Ahhhh, I was soooooo right about Malfoy being the 'mastermind'! Sure, I had to mainline the whole story in three hours, but it was totally worth it.

There were more twists and turns than a plate of spaghetti in this story, much to my neverending delight. The more convoluted and dark the plot, the heavier the appeal to my literary sensibilities.

It was heartwarming, dark, frustrating, and fan-bloody-tastic all in one, and I thank you for that!

~Jess

Author's Response: Thank you so much! And congrats on guessing that Mafloy was the mastermind ;) I'm glad you liked the story and all its twists and turns -- I personally always think that stories are more interesting when they have lots of twists and turns!

Hello there!

I'm dropping by due to the Ravenclaw Story of the Week, as Wendy outlined in her review.

While Harry/Ginny is my least favorite ship of all time (I would rather read Crabbe/Goyle...seriously), I did enjoy the imagery and the descriptive style that you brought. Everything was easy to picture in my mind, maybe except the last part, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you probably ran short on time, because with the quality of the rest of the fic, I don't believe you would have left it like that for any other reason.

I would be interested to know why Harry was at Hogwarts and not at the Burrow. As far as I know, he had a standing invitation to be there any time he wanted, as he was sort of another son to the Weasleys. Was there some sort of falling out over Fred's death? Did Fred actually die in this alternate universe? Is this DH-compliant (as in, what about Moldy Voldy)? I think you could have added much to this story by giving a more solid background about these events, mainly why Harry is there in the first place.

Overall, in terms of how much I liked it, I'm halfway between 'like' and 'meh,' but that's more because I'm more into Dark/Angsty stuff where the characters suffer, so this is a little out of my realm. I did appreciate your style in terms of imagery, because it really felt like I was there, playing in the snow right along with them.

This review is definitely not SPEW-worthy, as I am currently skiving off of writing and should really be going (bloody procrastinator, I am), but I hope it adds to your experience as an author, because I know it adds to mine to both give and receive reviews.

Well, I shall bid you good day, so take care and happy writing.

~Jess

P.S. - Ra-Ra-Ravenclaw! Go Eagles!!!

Aww, these are so dark and morose... I like them very much. :D

It's startling how these were written pre-DH, yet they aren't all that far off from what actually happened. Perhaps you channeled your inner Jo and knew that Harry was going to die.

The language you use is very beautiful, and the meter is nearly perfect. It rolls so easily from the tongue, which is how a sonnet is supposed to work.

Very nicely done, indeed. :)

Jess

Ah, after a few days of reading, I've finally caught up with all 76 chapters.

It's so wonderful to delve deeper into the world of Harry Potter. Seeing the Marauders begin and seeing the beginning of the end of the intrepid group is one of the aspects of the story about which I have been looking forward to learning. Your tales are fascinating, engaging, and I look forward to the rest of them.

Cheers and keep writing!!!

Author's Response: I love reading all the books, trying to find out as much as I can from them and I really want JKR to write her own Marauders series. But I doubt that will happen, so I wrote my own! I'm glad you like this! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon. Thanks for reading!

Awww, nothing like a bit of well-placed fluff to make the heart grow fond of a character. Sirius's words were very in character, IMO, and quite bittersweet, considering that we know how their lives turn out. I thought it was very interesting that the Dursleys showed up, though they most like would not, had the wedding not been in Muggle style.

All in all, the emotions were believable, real, and I'm feeling in a particularly fluffy, cloud 9 mood right now, so kudos for that!

Looking forward to 82!

Author's Response: Yeah, there had to be some nice fluff to balance out what's been happening. That was what I tried to do with Sirius's speech - since we know what happens, but they don't. The Dursleys definitely wouldn't have shown up if it wasn't Muggle style. Well, Petunia may have but Vernon wouldn't. Yay for cloud 9 moods! Chapter 82 may be up today, but I'm not sure. Thanks for reading!