Whoa. Seriously, that's my first thought.

The introduction to this chapter was absolutely amazing. I was so sad and crying my eyes out that my brain wouldn't allow any rational thought about or possibly being a dream.

I don't think it was boring either! I am excited to read the rest. I'm going to review every chapter as I go along so you'll see a lot of reviews from me very soon. :) I found a few mistakes but I didn't think to write then down... Maybe I will for the next chapter I'd I find any? :)

Amazing first chapter!

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and got "in to the moment" so to speak. Yes, I always manage to have a good handful of typos. Feel free to point them out for me to fix! :)

I am falling very rapidly in live with story, I am afraid to admit. This chapter was amazing. Nothing truly happened in realtion to the first two, however I couldn't take my eyes from the screen and it was just as wonderful as the first two!

I found no mistakes at all! :D

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! That's high praise :) I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

One thing I certainly love about your story is that it gives me *a lot* to think about! I am almost immersed in thoughts about anything and everything to do with your story! It is simply lovely!

I found two mistakes this chapter:

'He was on his second drink and he was sure Lily most be at the bottom of her first.'

It should be 'Lily mUst be at the bottom of her first,'

and:

"Oh?" James raised his eyebrows. " do you speak from experience/?"

The forward-slash shouldn't be there. :)

~ Annalis x :)

P.S. I love detective James! Especially since he is totally in character!

Here to leave quite a large review :)

I really, really liked this story Becca! And now I'm totally excited to see what is going to happen next! So I was wondering when you were going to submit the later chapters. So... If you could do that I would be incredibly grateful :P

One of the reasons I liked your story is because it is based around OC's. I really like your characters! But one thing stood out to me about them.

When I read, I formulate the characters, whether they be canon, non-canon, minor, major or original characters. So I read along and I can sort of picture the characters in my mind. The one thing that bothers me is that I can't see Zack. I can see Jack with all of his hyperactive, easy-going attitude. I see Alex with is laid-back attitude. I see Holly with her bossy but caring attitude. I see Maria in all of her girly glory and I see Norah with all of her Tom-boy-ish-ness. But then Zack, I can't see him. I dlthink the main problem is that he doesn't really have as large of an aspect to define him as a character as the others do. You see I can tell you the very basics of the others, but I'm lost for words with Zack. So my little bit of advice is to find what type of person he is.. I'm sure you already know, but making it a little clearer throughout the story would be incredibly helpful! :)

I think your characterization is amazing as a whole though. I can completely see Oliver with that sad blaze in his eyes as he talks to Holly. It makes me sad, proof of your amazing-ness. Ernie and Tori are spot on as well. I couldn't find anything they said was out of character. So amazing job!

As for my favourite character, I would have to agree with Jack and maybe Alex as well. I like Zack, but as I said I don't really understand who he is... As for my least favourite, I agree about Maria. She's kind of irritating.. But not enough to annoy me out of my wits, which is good!

I really like the whole set up of this story and it saddens me that there are only to be nine chapters, as I can easily see it spanding across thirty or so chapters. Although I like that it is set across the week they have at Zacks house so I'm at odds.. But since it isn't going to be thirty chapters, a sequel would be just as awesome! :D

So, to conclude, your story is awesome.

FINISH IT! :D And I will love you forever *coughnotlikeiwasntgoingtoloveyouforeverbeforebutwhatevercough*

*hugs*

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Awww Annalise, this made my life! You're too sweet :) Well, Russia's got chapter....(5? 6? What is it? Fail, Becca.) and when I get it back from her, I'll make the proper corrections and start on chapter (6? 7? FAIL AGAIN, BECCA) and send it to her promptly! But anyway... You're extremely right about Zack. His character will really be defined in the next few chapters, for sure, and readers will meet a new character who plays a pretty prominent role towards Zack in chapters.......the next ones, in any case. But I digress. I'll definitely get further in-depth with him; I don't exactly see him too well either, which sucks, being his author and all. I'm really happy that you can see the others, and that you liked Ernie/Tori/Oliver. And Maria is meant to be irritating; aren't all girls like her? XD But thank you so much for your review, and for reading this! And I'll work on finishing it straight away :) {BeccA}

RONNIE!

Author's Response: Lmfao. ANNALISE!!!!!

I am rather confused, but I'm sure I won't be later!

Your writing is seriously... Amazing. Every sentence flows perfectly and every word is perfect. It's complicated and uses an amazing vocabulary. It's the type of writing that would confuse my parents.

So, with that, I must say that your writing confuses me. It has been done wonderfully, but it is a very high standard of writing and one that I have not yet achieved, so it's easy to see why I have trouble understanding. But I'm sure as I read later chapters, I will become acustomed to your writing and start to understand more.

I'm loving it so far, and I love that Remus is in it. He's one of my favourite characters. :)

Can't wait to read more.

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Annalise, You are quite right that this is rather confusing. In fact, I'm going in for a complete revision. There are simply too many holes in this piece that never get filled in with the dirt it desparately needs. Like the first chapter? Dreadful. Even by my standards, I hate it. I'm actully writing writiing a piece between Remus and his grandfather, which attacks this idea from another angle. It needs a defibilator, yes, and I hope for my sake the idea isn't dead. I am sorry that I write confusing drafts, but I assure you, all the same, I am constantly going in for revision, or, in this case, a complete, ripped out rewrite. I think it's called Red Wine. I hope that it fits canon. I love Remus as well. I hope that you continue to read. Thank you for the review. Jen

This made me smile :)

I love the repitition of 'Death! Eater!', especially with the exclamation appearing after Death. It breaks up the words. And I love how, at the start, you called them fools after you wrote 'Death! Eater!'. Because, naturally, it is quite a funny name.

Also, I love how it rhymes a lot throughout the poem.

You have done a really wonderful job in writing this. You have.. crossed the emotions, and done an amazing job while doing it. i.e. It's quite funny, free spirited and happy, even though through a lot you are talking about death and fighting. It does not.. sort of dishonour the sadness that these thoughts usually give us, as it could. It makes light of a dark situation while still being meaningful.

Really, I love it. Seriously. I can't find anything to really critique....

Maybe you could have made the rhyming less sporadic?

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response:

Hello Annalise28,

Wow, what beautiful feedback! I'd been dying to do a song about the DA for ages, but could never think of the appropriate tune to match their nerve & daring until, one day, I remembered a boy in my class singing 'We Don't Need No Education' (many years ago) to our teacher. And that's when it fell into place. Pink Floyd and the DA seemed perfect for each other! I can almost see the DA marching through the corridors of Hogwarts and belting this tune out to the repulsive Carrows ...

*grins*

I couldn't have made the rhyming less sporadic though - that was one of the major elements of the DA's song that (while I was writing it) held the piece together.

When I imagined the song in my head, I knew it would have to reflect all the things that I find so admirable about the DA: their courage in the face of adversity, their collective strength of character, their endurance under fire, and (always) their deep sense of honour & loyalty both in protecting their friends and believing in Harry. In spite of all the hardships they endured during that terrible year in Hogwarts, they never gave up hope and always retained a sense of humour (as Neville displayed so well when he related the tale of the Carrows' torture, etc, to Harry, Ron & Hermione while leading them through the secret tunnel from the Hog's Head to the Room of Requirement). Therefore, I'm really, really pleased that you spotted these elements and appreciated them so much!

Thanks for R & R-ing,

M :)

This is a good prologue to begin your story with. I like the idea, as well. The only thing I will criticises is that Lily is eleven, yet she sounds as though she is at least fifteen years old. I think, in later chapters, you should be careful about keeping her in character and at the right age. I suggest you get a beta who is good with this.

Also, even though it's a prologue, it is rather short. But I can't criticise that. It just means I want to read more!

I like it a lot.

~ Annalise x :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! Yes, Lily is definitely a bit mature for her age, but then, I feel that she would really have to be in order to think of her plan. I may tone her down a bit in the future, though, but for now, to me it makes more sense for her to be a little mature for her age. I've definitely met kids her age who think that way, though they are indeed hard to come by. I always like to hear that! My chapters are usually 1500-2500 words long, so I expect chapters for this story to be around that length, maybe longer. They'll definitely be at least 3 times as long as the prologue, for sure! Glad you liked it, and I really appreciate your review!