That was amazing. I love the twist that you've put into the conventional Godric's Hollow scene, and it's worked so well. :)

Wow! That was such an unusual but intriguing story! I only felt that I understood the concept of the Thestral right at the end, but I like the idea that Thestrals are derived somewhat from mythological creature such as the Pegasi. It gives them a more solid background, and in a way I feel as if I can understand their nature better.

I love the description and imagery in this story. It’s fantastic and extremely vivid – you’ve done a great job in setting the scene and also in picturing the horses.
We assumed that she found her end under the white foam on the breaking waves around our island.
This was such an intense line. I could really see in my mind the image of the waves lapping the shore, perhaps with shadows in the water.

Characterisation in this story was fab. Did you have a particular person in mind for Thais’ father? The first person perspective made events seem so realistic; it allowed us to see so many insights into Thais’ life, and that of her father.
I knew why Alkaios detested father, but I could only guess why father was able to keep him here. He had to know something about Alkaios’ past or some other secret this kind man was too ashamed of to tell me
This tells us straight away what sort of person the father is – he seems very nasty and manipulative, and from the references to drunkenness, I can see that he probably has quite a volatile temper too. I like the way that you add in repeated references to her father’s character, which builds up to give a powerful ending.

Apollo’s entry was a bit sudden but well timed. I’m slightly surprised that Thais didn’t question him or respond in any way. Was there no time perhaps?
“Photios is my creation and he must stay in this form to remind everyone what cruelty can cause. You, you’ll be free at last.” I wonder what he means by that last part. Does he mean that Thais is free from her father’s ‘tyranny’ over her/the household?

I love the ending of this story. They have white eyes and their skeletal bodies are as black as the night, a memory of the fateful night when Photios became the monster he is now. Though Thestrals, as we know in canon, are not really ‘bad’ creatures as such, I can understand why Thais calls him a ‘monster’. See Photios and the other Thestrals must indeed remind her of what ‘cruelty can cause’, and take her back to the time that Photios became this way. This part was just – wow.

Great story, *loves*
~Suzie

What a lovely little snapshot! I don’t think I’ve ever read a story where this scene is written in Sirius’ POV before, so this version was both new, informative and refreshing. Very well written, well done Viv! :)

One of my favourite things about your style of writing in this story is the tone. I love the way that you vary the lengths of sentences with short snappy parts and some longer parts. It gave me a real sense of ‘Sirius’ – the style of the prose seemed extremely in character, both for Sirius as we know him and how I imagine him to be having only just come out of Azkaban, with so many new revelations and experiences. I really like how you’ve begun this story – you tell us the exact time and situation which is interesting to see! :)

My only criticism of this is just to watch out for overuse of conjunctive words such as ‘and’ and ‘but’ at the start of sentences. This is really good when varying the pace of the story, but overuse kind of takes away some of this effect and make the writing sound a bit unfinished.

But now that he was a free man again, he wanted to make sure Harry was doing fine, that he was becoming a great wizard.
I found this line so touching! I really felt a sense of Sirius’ emotions in this story, I could see that he felt anger towards Pettigrew, incredible guilt towards Lily and James, but above all he cared for Harry’s wellbeing, despite the fact that he hadn’t in fact seen Harry for a long time. To escape from Azkaban and search for Harry straight away really shows this. Though Sirius knows that there is very little he can do for Harry at this present moment, he still wants to reassure himself that Harry is okay. This sense of caring really shows through in your writing, well done!

Right now, he was probably thinking that Sirius was the worst thing walking on this Earth.
I love your emphasis of ‘thing’! Though Harry doesn’t yet know about the situation surrounding his parent’s death, I think that Sirius could probably imagine how Harry would feel – the man who betrayed his parents could hardly be human, etc. Whoah.

This is it, he thought, you must go. For Lily and James. And Harry.
Wow. This is very touching! It’s nice to see when Sirius knows that there is no more he can do, and he must wait for the right time to meet Harry again when that comes. I love your use of short sentences here, it’s extremely effective and emotional.

This is a great story, very original and well written! Well done Viv! *huggles*

&& you have the honour of being the first person I ever reviewed as an SPEWer. Teehee. *squish*

~Suzie

Author's Response: Oh God. Now I feel incredibly bad. I was so sure that I had responded to your review a while ago! But I just realized that I hadn\'t! Shame on me! Especially with the fact that it is a great and long review... I\'m terrible. First of all, I want to say thanks! I\'m really happy that you liked my fic and that my writing style didn\'t annoy you. I know that some people don\'t like the effect created by long and short sentences put together like that, but when I wrote it, it just had to be that way. Sirius was experiencing many emotions and frustrations, so I guess it had to come out a bit \"messy\". We all knew that Sirius really cared about Harry and through out the series, his affection for him motivated pretty much all his actions. So I kind of focused on that and wanted the story to get a feel of the love he had for his godson. I\'m happy that it touched you. I am honored to be the \"owner\" of your first SPEW review! :) Thank you again! *huggles*

Hmm...that was the first EVER Harry/Draco fic that I've ever read, and I must say that I really liked it!

The idea of a pillow fight is a really good starting point; it's kind of humourous and it's really clever how the scene gradually becomes more serious, as you introduce the idea of Harry's injury. I'm still trying to get used to the whole slash!Harry/Draco concept, as once upon a time I was really against HP fandom slash...but I thought the romantic parts of this fic were really well written and realistic as well.

Finally..loved the ending!
Damn it. Outsmarted by Potter.

AGAIN.

The whole idea of 'names' was really clever! An enjoyable read! Well done.


Author's Response: I\'m so glad you liked my story! The best HP stories I\'ve read are definitely the slash ones - I think Harry and Draco suit each other so well! They\'re very different characters and they seem to compliment each other.

Once again, I really like the characterisation of Bella. The fact that she still despises muggleborns and yet has no choice but to let one treat her, seems exactly in tune with Bella's character.

I really want to find out what Rodolphus did, and why! *goes to read*

Author's Response: Actually, I really felt for her when I wrote this. It can\'t be easy to be in a situation where you are so badly off that you have no choice to embrace (for lack of a better word, at the moment) what you have hated all your life. I\'m glad you think I did well with her emotions in this chapter. It was one of the harder ones to write because I felt so bad for her.

As for Rodolphus, I generally write him as an evil git. HIs rational is rarely ever explained well in my stories. I don\'t see him as having much of a rational, actually.

Although, I am playing around with him a bit in some of my new stuff. I\'m trying to write him as less of an evil git. It\'s a challenge for me. For some reason, I have always hated him. I don\'t know why, it\'s not like we\'ve seen much of him in the books.

Wow, I'm liking your version of Bella more and more with each chapter.

For the first time, she was going to do the right thing. She was going to give her sister her life back.
This is probably one of my favourite lines. I really like the way that this seems like a sort of *decision* moment or turning point for Bella, as she realises all the wrong she has done in her life.

Just a tiny spelling pick...
Her luck, she would accidentally Apparate in the middle of Kingsley Shacklebot’s living room. It should be Shacklebolt! :p (*sniggers about a Kingsley shaped robot called Shacklebot..lol)

*will keep reading* :)

~Suzie~


Author's Response: I\'m glad you like this story. And yes, poor Bella has started to realize that she has made some very poor choices in her life. She\'s starting to realize that she was wrong about a lot of things, especially her sister.

You know, I never realized there was L there in Shacklebolt. I was always comparing him to a robot! *Feels smart*

Thanks for leaving a review! :D

A beautiful and tragic conclusion to a brilliant story :)

All the little points and memories correspond to one another, each one links well to the next, and it all builds up the sadness... I actually had tears in my eyes! *sniff* This story has really changed my opinions on Bella a lot, you've written her in a truly unique way.

Well done!

Author's Response: Yay! I\'m glad you liked my dark little tale.

I was actually a little uncertain about the memories when I was writing them. I wondered if they would serve their purpose but it appears that they have. :D

And I am always glad to hear that I have made someone think twice about Bella. I really believe that there is more to her than meets the eye. ;)

Oh gosh... the twist at the end really surprised me, I'd just presumed that it really was dark!

You've written Bella's character really well here, and I like the fact that she is so surprised that Andromeda would risk keeping her in the house; it seems like something that Andromeda would do.

Only a tiny pick: About a 3rd of the way through: She worshipped You-Know-Who with every fiber of her being
This should be 'fibre' I think. :)

*goes to read next chapter*

Author's Response: Hehe! I had hoped people would think that it was really dark. I wanted it to be kind of a surprise. But I thought the story title might have given it away. Although the title does refer to Bella, literally, it also refers to Andromeda, figurativly.(which I have spelled wrong) Sly likes her spell check.

Yes, I think that this is the type of thing Andromeda would do. I\'ve always seen her as someone who would take insane risks for those she loves, possibly because of Ted, and the fact that she\'s a Black and they all do insane things.


I have just written down the fibre thing, and will change it in the near future.

Thanks so much for leaving reviews!

Wow. What a fantastic story! I’ve been meaning to read this ever since it got picked for the BA challenge and now it’s on the to-read list for my class so I thought I’d read it. :p

I love the atmosphere in this story – everything from the characterisations to the descriptions scream 1920s vintage – you’ve done a fantastic job! I love Agatha Weasley; she sounds like such a dear. From this story I kind of get the idea that her views and stereotypes stem from the way that she was brought up, and perhaps, what her parents taught her. Her character at heart doesn’t seem too stubborn towards Muggles – or maybe she trusts her sons; but my point is that she doesn’t seem to hate them in the way that some do, which in turn I guess makes the story possible.

John’s character too, is awesome. I really like the teasing way that he talks to his mother:
“Now, come, dear mother, you seemed to like that garlic chicken well enough?” teased the tall, handsome man.
A simple comment, but I loved it. I can see from this how John has managed to get his mother to agree to come here and to stay long enough to eat a meal/watch a show. Though he seems to be teasing his mother throughout this story I get the impression that he’s doing this for a bit of fun – he loves his mother but wants to loosen her up and soften her views perhaps.

“Oh, I already know what to get you,” his brother chuckled. “It’s a brand new Muggle mix called Between the Sheets.”
*falls off chair laughing* I love this. Cocktails always seem to have odd names and I like how you’ve added this in – gives Agatha a bit of a shock. It’s very realistic too – as this story progressed I got a vivid impression of Agatha’s character, I could see how she acts, her movements and expressions from the way she talks and the way that her sons act around her. Wow.

Something that I truly loved about this story was its setting – I’ve not read many stories in the fandom set around this time yet I could tell immediately from this that you’ve done your research and made this fic as realistic as possible…I felt like I was reading it in sepia, haha.

I love the names that you have for things. Sergeant Sally gives the place a war-time sort of feel, and I found it quite ironic that this muggle place seems pretty comparable with wizarding clubs at the time, like the ones that Agatha mentioned; Merlin’s Madhouse and The Trafalgar tenor. All alliterated – not so different huh?!

There is just one part of the story which confused me a little. The Seer your father and I took him to said nothing about a bizarre interest in all things Muggle! She foresaw that he would marry as a young man and give me seven grandchildren!
If the grandchildren that Agatha is referring to are the Weasley children that we know in canon, shouldn’t this be great-grandchildren, if you state at the end that it is John’s son’s son who is Arthur Weasley? Just a thought. :)

A bar hovered at the other end of the room, like a small island of light and glass bottle reflections in a sea of shadows and smoke from Muggle cigarettes.
I love this description – in fact, all of your descriptions are pretty awesome. I really like how little things like this constantly remind the reader what time period this is; very authentic. Wow! :D

And that part at the end with Elsie…very nicely done. I like how powerful and in control you’ve made her. It seems to go with the way that she sings, and I guess, the way that singers were back in those times.

This is a fantastic story! *loves* *adds to favourites* *squee*

~Suzie ♥

I really like the way that this story is told. The *storyteller* lets out information really gradually, and this works well. I also like the use of first person in this...it's a really well written poem. Well done! :)

Is there going to be another one? :p

Author's Response: :) Thank you! And, as for your question, it all depends on what the storyteller wants to tell me. As you said, she lets out information *very* gradually.