OMSQUEEELLE! This is awesome! Your portrayal of Bella in this story is yet again fresh and unique and wonderful. I love how you’ve made use of each prompt, to give us a further and deeper insight into her relationships, her fears, her past and her character. Plus, I love all the little snarky comments she makes…I’ll probably end up commenting on those and laughing more than anything else. XD

She was going to die there and then she was going to be eaten by rats.
Oohla. What a lovely Pessimistic!Bella thing to say.
Any other solutions were foreign to her, with the exceptions of manipulation and intimidation, which would also not help her here.
I love the dryness of that, and yet there is a meaning/point in the undertone. Not many people would know how to act in the situation that Bella is in, and certainly all of her usual behaviour would not help.

They could certainly never afford to come to work with a hangover.
*cough* course not. :p
Briefly, she wished Wormtail had been sent with her so she could offer him as a sacrifice. While the cat was eating him, she could run through the door.
In contrast to one of the above statements, here’s Bella trying to use her manipulation ‘skills’ again. :D I love the random humour in this story, you’re such an awesome writer!

&& onto other things now…I really like how you’ve gotten past some of the prompts. I’d never though of summoning the door! Very clever, and you’ve written the action parts very well. :) The patronus thing too, is very clever – using a patronus to defeat a patronus in a way. Well, as it’s Bella she *would* have a unique way of thinking. *smirks*

I’ve said this in many a review for your Bella fics, but here it’s apparent again…you do such a fantastic human!Bella. You cannot imagine how many times I squeed and awwwed when I read that part behind the veil with Sirius. I really liked the way you handled it, it’s very realistic how she doesn’t trust him at first, then slowly begins to understand, lets her guard relax slightly, and yet when she progresses into the next room there’s still a tiny shadow of doubt. I love your characterisation of Sirius also – really just awesome. :D

My only nitpick for some things in this story is that you left some American spellings in – like “honor” (from what I can remember…) and a couple of other things that should have added ‘u’s. :)

Other than that, great job. Congrats on completing the gauntlet, finishing so early and getting it up so quick!!

&& one last thing…my favourite line.
If he found her and killed her, she would die an honorable death. There was nothing more she could ask for.
Wow. That is just incredible. There’s so much power and so much meaning behind this as well. You’ve let us understand the process of Bella’s decision by her actions in the DOM and the people that she encounters. And by this, we’re understanding how difficult it must be for her, but also why she must do it. Again, well done for creating such a fantastic Bella in this story.

*huggles Elle* Well done again, this is the awesomeness! :D

♥ Suzie

Author's Response: Wow Suzie! *waits for Suzie to join her in SPEW*

Thanks so much for all the compliments. I really enjoyed writing this and I\'m glad to hear that Bella\'s personality shone through.

Thanks so much for the lovely review. *huggles*

*is a Jacie-Gauntlet fan*
OMS this story was just incredible. I loved every bit of it, and you managed to keep the action and the suspense together so well. Congratulations. :D

I know you said earlier that some questions would remain unanswered in this fic but I felt that in this epilogue you’ve tied things up rather nicely. You’ve given us an insight into what the outside world think, what Neville and Hermione think, and what everyone is uncertain of. And in a way, I guess that uncertainty is part of this story, just as Neville kind of says at the end.

Just a teeny pick that I thought I’d point out: “…disturbance within Ministry of Magic headquarters in London has brought a complete uproar among the Wizarding community of Great Briton…”
Here, “Briton” should be “Britain”. Briton is what you’d call a British person – like an “American”. ;)

Something that really surprised me in this epilogue was that you brought the rabbit back in! *squees at Jace’s ability to integrate a story together etc*
I love Tarrance. Heehee.

I don’t know why but in some parts of this story, especially in the epilogue I felt that I could sense parts of Harry in Neville. Or maybe not so much “Harry” but that brave but rational Gryffindor streak ya’know?

I mean, there were points where I trusted an enemy of mine, and there were points where I just knew what to do, and even if I'd never done whatever I was doing before, I just knew how to do it.
This bit is just wow…to me it kind of represented all that was uncontrollable about the world behind the veil – perhaps of how relationships don’t work the way they should, and from the rooms that we saw, individuals can’t even control the way that they think and act in the normal sense. Now that I find pretty scary!

But there's one thing I'm sure of about the other side, and that is that have to confront your personal fears and prove yourself to get back. You know, that could be the reason why the four of us were separated, and why Ron and Malfoy didn't make it.
This idea is really intriguing and I like it. It seems that this fic is partially about untold and parallel stories – this is Neville’s tale yet we are constantly seeing little glimpses into the actions of others, like Hermione’s experiences behind the veil for instance. I like this explanation for why Ron and Malfoy didn’t make it – kind of implying that this was some sort of test maybe? Only those who could confront their fears could return?

Anyway Jace, this story is simply fantastic and you should be really proud! *squees and hugs* Seriously. Awesome. :D I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you to place. :p Good luck!

~Suzie

Author's Response: Originally, I didn\'t have that final dialogue in there. It was just them leaving and Tarrance hopping off, but then I thought that it leaves too much open and unanswered. I actually wrote that last bit while Chapter III was in queue.

And as for the \'Britain\' thing... damn spell check..

Thank you so much for your reviews, Suzie! I had a lot of fun with this.

- Jacie the Cat

Oh my…wow. Well Jace, I’m speechless. This is just incredible so far. So well written and drawn together, so much action. You’ve done a fantastic job!

What I really like about this so far is how, already, you’re turning this beyond just a gauntlet, but into your own story. I’m very intrigued to find out what has happened to Ron and Draco, why there are Inferi in the DOM and why the group of them are there in the first place!

I love your characterisation of Ron by the way – he’s all…panicky. :D

Just a tiny nitpick: It was an Infernus. Do you mean Inferius here? Like, those dead-people things? :)

Anyway, hope more of this is coming soon…I love it!

~Suzie

Author's Response: x.x

I just realised why I typed Infernus.. it\'s one of the cars in Grand Theft Auto..

*dies*

I think I’ll make a habit of this and start each review with “Wow”. :D

I loff your characterisation – the Neville is always awesome, but I love your Hermione too; she’s kind of less know-it-all and more human, which is really good. I love her tone of voice and the ideas that you give her, awesome!

Neville let out a small laugh when he realized that his patronus is a rabbit.
Heh. I laughed as well. I guess I can see resemblances between Neville and the bunny…but it still made me laugh. :D I really like how original your interpretation of that prompt was. A lot of fics I’ve seen have some ferocious monster being killed by the character’s bare hands etc etc (well maybe not bare hands but still…) Yours is really different and the idea of getting the key off its neck by being ‘nice’ to it is really clever and works so well!

“– and then I get chased around by a damned otter, of all things –”
Love this bit. The broken sentences are awesome – I can just picture some funny movie scene. This also reflects Hermione’s character I think. I’ve always loved the part in PS where she completely loses it with the “there’s no wood!” comment; we see this a bit here too I think. :D I also love the idea that Hermione seems to have encountered her patronus as well! Like a little double-gauntlet. Heh.

..and going through the veil again? Ooh. I really like the way that this is set out – how all the journey seems to be planned and then end up back where they started in a logical way, rather than finishing in some random room which happens to lead to the surface.

Just a tiny overall picky thing; I noticed quite a few spelling errors in this chapter and the previous ones. Maybe just try copying your text back into Word and running it through spellcheck one more time (in UK mode)? :)

Anyway, this story is rather awesome. *runs off to read the epilogue which MQ was squeeing about in the Slyth CR* ;)

~Suzie

Author's Response: Thank you so much, Suzie!

I thought since Hermione was going to get back with Neville, she had to go through just as much as him, so in a way it is a double-gauntlet, I guess.

And I actually don\'t have Word. I have Open Office Writer, which doesn\'t have a British grammar/spelling setting. I wish it did.. It\'d make things a lot easier.

Mythril is squeeing about my epilogue? *goes to look*

- Jacie the Cat

Ooh Sarah I like this! Your Draco is always an awesome character to read – I love the way that you’ve portrayed his panic and uncertainly. Awesome.

Draco could’ve sworn that he heard the drumming of his heart repeating, “Don’t, don’t. Don’t, don’t.”
I love this idea – I don’t think we get so see as much of scared!Draco in canon as I’d like, and this is a great start to introduce us to his trepidations etc. :)

That was familiar, not this — the sneering darkness and unending walkway.
I love your use of ‘sneering’ in this part. Again it seems to be giving us an indication that Draco, unlike in most situations, is not in control here – he’s no longer the one who is sneering. Aww.

Two steps; he was on his way to greatness.
Love the sentence. It’s nice to see, given that this story is from Draco’s POV, that he hasn’t lost his sense of character/sarcastic nature completely. Well done – nice characterisation!

I like the idea of Draco’s patronus being a panther – it kind of suits. I also thought that it was a nice addition how Draco tries to pacify it by going ‘nice kitt, nice kitty’. A typical reaction of scaredpeople to big cats, but it works well here. I guess Draco should know better seeing as nobody could ever pacify HIM in that way. :p

My favourite part of this story is definitely the out-of-body experience though (lol that prompt was my idea haha…) Draco’s panic and thoughts are really well written here, I love your use of repetition. And the Spanish words idea was very clever, loved it!

And of course, the ending. Surprised me a bit but clever. I really liked this story! Good luck! *huggles*

~Suzie

Author's Response: Hehe, *huggles* Thanks so much for the great review, Suzie! I\'m glad you picked up on the sarcasm; I was afraid some people wouldn\'t. Thanks so much for the great review!! =]

Wow CJ! I love the mood of this poem, there really is an essence of thrill about it. :) I really like your use of language in the first two stanzas: "true, pure joy", "safe and free" etc, all work really well in conveying the fast pace and carefree mood of their relationship.

I love the turn in the final stanza, especially how you jump into this turn really suddenly with "false, a liar, decoy". It's almost like reflecting a sudden/unexpected betrayal. And descpite that, Narcissa still says 'few fill me up'. It gave me the image of Lucius as one of those bad-boy types? The sort thatyou know you should stay away from but can't... *giggle*

Very well written poem, good job! Best if luck in the challenge!

&& by the way, just thought I'd point out that on your author page it was me who made the banner for this poem, not Alyssa. Lol ;)

~Suzie

Author's Response: Thanks Suzie! I\'m glad you liked it! Its funny how you liked the sudden turn, but others didn\'t. Hmmmm.... OMGodric! I am so sorry! *changes it* CJ

Something I love about your Neville, Jace, is that he seems really real, really human. He’s not overly brave/Gryffindorish, he’s just himself. I like the way that you show us how Neville fears and when Neville is uneasy, it brings the story right down to earth and the atmosphere is so real too.

After a moment to gather his bearings (and his breath) it was with the air of a cornered rabbit that Neville scrambled to his feet, wand at the ready.
I love this rabbit analogy! It just FITS. :D

One of my favourite things about this chapter is your description of the giants. I really like the way that you have used everyday things as a comparison, e.g. a hand the size of a common room, and using the tree as a tooth pick. It puts things into a perspective that we can understand. Another thing that I really like is the way that we see Neville learning. Often we would see characters such as Neville stumble into a pub and just know that it is a pub. To me, this is unrealistic – I love the way that you have Neville firstly adjust to his surroundings; a place like this must be so different to what he is used to, and I’m glad that you’ve shown this.

The slant to the Death Eaters that you’ve portrayed in this chapter is very interesting to see. As we know, not all Death Eaters are wholly pureblood and hate all things Muggle; they may just pretend to be. This idea of a Death Eater actually in a Muggle pub, drinking pints of beer and enjoying a football match is both clever for the plot and very ironic. It’s an interesting twist, well done!

He also could not see more than 3 meters in front of him, so there was no way to tell where he was.
Here, “3 meters” should be “three metres” as numbers should technically be spelt out, and in British spelling. :)

Overall, a fantastic and compelling chapter Jace!

~Suzie

Author's Response: Yeah, I think it was my grammatical errors that kept me from winning this one. If I had someone beta it I might have. I\'ll have to remember that for next time.

- Jacie the Cat

SPEW buddy! *tackles* I have chosen this rather intriguing story to review. The first thing that caught my eye was the summary – I was very interested to find out more about what would happen during the first full moon after Lily and James’ death. It’s something that we know enough about from canon to imagine a situation, but not enough about the character himself,so I really wanted to find out more.

Your characterisation and descriptions in this story make it exceptional. The perfect timing – the before and after of Remus’ transformation make his thoughts even more evocative and powerful. I love the structure of this story, beginning with Remus approaching his cabin and then with his thoughts slowly and gradually intensifying. One of my favourite parts of this story is the rapid sharp transgressions from man to wolf and back. I like the way that Remus becomes so lost in his thoughts about the war and his friends on seeing the Daily Prophet article, that the pain of his transformation hits very suddenly. It is both a sharp change for Remus and for me when I was reading, and this made the change much more realistic.

I love the pace of this story, with some parts such as the beginning and end being slower and in a way, more peaceful than other parts such as when Remus is very emotional, and when he is a wolf. There is a lovely balance in the story of pace, which is great to read.

Only a few hours of daylight remained before the full moon would rise on the darkened night sky, illuminating the path to control for the beast within him.
I love the imagery in the starting line of this story. The first part of the description is almost picturesque, though we know that the pale and beautiful moon will only bring pain. It’s also easy to imagine the moon lighting up a sort of path, which in essence, there is no choice for the wolf but to take it.

The blood spattered on the buildings lining the streets looked like a big, obscene graffiti.
Wow. This description is chilling. By this, the “death” of Peter is not only tragic and gruesome, the reference to graffiti almost gives the idea of a taunt, which then intensifies the pain which Remus must be feeling.

The wolf howled with relish. The gnawing hunger in his belly would be sated tonight. He would hunt again and he would kill!
I love your persona of Remus as a wolf. The third person view is effective; though we know that this is Remus, it feels as if this wolf is not the Remus that we know – this is perhaps the unrestrained Remus, with his feelings being unleashed in a form that he cannot control, if that makes sense. The first part of this quote is natural but chilling, the description of the inner feelings of the wolf in a way echo how the man Remus has been feeling. With all that has happened in his life since the last full moon, things that he cannot do anything to escape, and cannot stop thinking about, this seems like a final way to relieve himself of the pain and stress. This desire to kill reminds us of how werewolves, and all wolves, really are innately, and hoe Remus is before the Wolfsbane. This part of the story relates so well with everything else, it was really interesting to see.

Why, Sirius? Why?
I really like the way that this question alerts us to the disbelief and confusion that Remus still feels. He doesn’t understand why Sirius has done what he has done, and I think that he feels betrayed as well. The way that you have used repetition is very effective, although near to the end I felt that there was a bit too much repetition and perhaps (e.g. for the second to last repetition) the quote doesn’t really relate to the paragraphs before and after it, so loses its effect a tiny bit.

h a swish and flick of his wand and a muttered, “Incendio!” he watched Sirius’s face burn merrily until nothing was left of it but ashes.
One of my favourite things about this story is the way that Remus, unintentionally perhaps, keeps on reminiscing – about how the Marauders used to keep him company at his transformations, outings and meals they had, the places that they had lived in etc. In all of these recollections there seems to be a sense of idyllic friendship which makes the current situation even harder to bear. It also fits nicely in with Remus’ lack of understanding for Sirius’ motives; he remembers the Sirius that he thought he knew and cannot bring himself to believe that this is the same Sirius who betrayed the Potters and killed Peter. This final action to me, seemed to allow Remus to move on a tiny bit and let go of his own memory of the happy, friendly Sirius.

This is a fantastic story, Ilka. I loved the characterisation of Remus and the way that different devices and sequences in this story fit together. Well done!

~Suzie

Author's Response: Wow, Suzie! I do believe this is the longest review I\'ve ever gotten and it\'s soo lovely as well. I\'m glad you liked the story so much and you seem to be the only one who picked up on the end being symbolic and allowing Remus to start moving on. *giggles* As long as one person picks up on it, I did my job of showing it. *huggles* Thanks for the review, Suzie dear.

Wow Hanni. Thank you for providing this insight, it’s just reduced me to tears. *hugs* I’ve been studying autism as part of one of my A level psychology modules this year, two of my best friends also have autistic brothers, and this too has really helped me understand the condition just a bit more.

The lyrics you’ve used in this story are simply perfect. They reflect the hopeful aspects really well, and I love the lines that come in between the text throughout the story.

Her heart shattered into a million pieces on that fateful day when he had not been there to greet her, and was never rightfully whole again.
This line in the story allow us to really begin to understand Hannah and how she must be feeling. Seeing her brother when she comes off the train has been a given thing and having him living in St Mungos must be one of the hardest things in the world. Likewise, later on in the story I found these lines so moving:

“Summer?” he asked. “Bu’, you said you’d be here fo’ me, a’ways. Don’ go!”

“I hate you!” He crossed his arms and stood defiantly.

The speech here just blew me away. There’s a simplicity here that really makes me reach out to James. I felt that the way that this scene is portrayed helped me understand how James must be feeling so much more. *sniff*

Wait for tomorrow, don’t worry. It’ll be over by then. The sun shall bring day.
This line is beautiful. Just … wow. I don’t think I really have a lot more to say than that.

This story is sad and moving but beautifully written. Thank you Hanni for sharing this. :)

Suzie x

Author's Response: Thanks so much Suzie...=) I hoped I had provided a greater insight into the mind of my brother, and I hope it helped! --Hanni