**Updates concerning chaptered stories**
Concerning A Weasel Can’t Cry - I do intend on finishing this story because I see potential in telling the Weasleys’ stories. It just may take longer than you may like.
Concerning Carry Me Home - Complete.
Concerning Hidden - It is now complete. After a long, hard journey, I finally finished it on July 18, 2007. No, there won’t be an epilogue because I think the ending pretty much closes off Luna’s story.
Concerning It Didn’t Start This Way - I’m afraid updating this story is at the bottom of my priorities as of now. I really have no intention of finishing it since I had written it when I was so inexperienced in fanfiction.
Concerning Love, Luna - I’m actually very interested in continuing this story. Luna’s a character whom we can all enjoy a laugh with. She’ll be answering all your questions soon.
Concerning Someone to Embrace - I won’t be updating this story as regularly as you may want me to. I’ve been overwhelmed with projects, but I assure you, it’ll be complete one day.
Concerning When We Were Gods - I do intend on finishing this story, but right now, I lost the inspiration I had to write it. Do not fear; it’ll be back.
A wonderful interview with the amazing Rita Skeeter. Last taken on August 9, 2007
Original Transcript:
Name?: I sign all my reviews with ‘MM’
Age?: 18
Which House are you in?: Gryffindor though I did expect myself to be Sorted into Ravenclaw
Which HP book was your favorite book?: PoA
Why?: Sirius and Lupin intrigue me. Plus it was Harry’s first insight on his father’s cleverness (the Marauder’s Map, Animagus, relation with Lupin)
What was your favorite part?: In PoA, it would have to be the Shrieking Shack scene with Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew. In the series as a whole, it would have to be “Snape’s Worst Memory” (OotP)
And why would that be? It serves as an insight to James and Lily’s relationship before marriage.
What fanfics do you read?: I used to read J/L fics only, but now I’ve expanded my horizons. Other Pairing is extremely interesting to read. I actually don’t read that many canon pairings anymore.
Are you active on the MNFF forums? Yes. I am the former Gryffindor HoH, a former Summer School Professor and Student, a current moderator, a current member of SPEW, moderator of Fiction Junction, co-moderator of Character Clinic, and a current BETA guild member, .
HP Book or movie?: Books, hands-down. The movies were not well-directed in my opinion. I like directors to follow what the corresponding books dictate; authors have a reason for putting something this way or having a character established. By overlooking details and by taking out characters (or remaking characters), the movie, and then the book, is ruined.
What’s so bad about the movies?: What I stated above. Sometimes, I feel that they make unnecessary cuts.
Favorite Character?: Ron. He’s just about the most easy-going character in the series. But that’s because he’s ignorant or too scared most of the time xD
Who would Harry end up with?: Personally, I think Harry should end up alone for the rest of his life (if he defeats You-Know-Who) or die. But Rowling will probably put him with Ginny.
Have you written for any other site?: No but I am part of many other writers’ sites. My penname for fictionpress is Mischevious Soul; you’ll see me in the fantasy sections. My penname for fanfiction.net is Marauder by Moonlight (Yes, when I signed up here, I accidentally put ‘Midnight’ instead of ‘Moonlight’). I also have an account “Marauder by Midnight” on HPFF as well. The story there is the exact same one as the one here.
What categories do you moderate?: You can find me everywhere, but rarely in categories to trio romance. If you have a particular question about Alternate Universe or Mystery, I’m the one to go to :)
Why were you gone for such a long time? I had some health issues that took up a lot of my time. It was a choice between spending time on education or MNFF, and as much as I would love to choose MNFF, I needed to do well in school.
Talk about your stories and series a bit please?
James/Lily-related series
1. It Didn’t Start This Way
Status: On Permanent Hiatus
This is a J/L, dedicated to my first OTP. I have written about twenty chapters of it but have only posted a few because, frankly, I got a bit bored of it. I don’t like it much, but if I find time to refine it, I will and continue posting due to the popular demand.
2. The Pigeon and the Phoenix
Status: Complete, one-shot
In relation to It Didn’t Start This Way is a one-shot. I had prepared it for a chapter of my first story, but after I decided to put the story on hiatus, I couldn’t bear to let this chapter rot. So I refined it and posted it as a one-shot. I’m pretty happy with it and love it to death. It was written in a moment of angst. Isn’t it lovely how we can turn one moment of anger and despair to love?
Hidden series
1. Percy’s Revenge
Status: Complete, one-shot
My eighth story (my, I’m on a roll after a long hiatus) is Percy’s Revenge for the Gryffindor Joint Fic Project. It is allianced with my story Hidden as it describes the conflict inside Percy before issuing the infamous decree in Hidden. I love this story very much because it sheds light on damaging consequences of the death of Voldemort.
2. Hidden
Status: Complete
My fourth story, actually my third since I began writing it a while back is Hidden. My friend Poultrygeist challenged me to write a Draco/Luna piece since I said they looked like a couple. I never got the chance to finish my first chapter until recently. What started out as a one-shot turned into a lengthy plot bunny. Now, it is my baby.
3. A Weasel Can’t Cry
Status: On temporary hiatus
This is another spin-off Hidden. Actually, more from Percy’s Revenge. We found out that many of the Weasleys had died. But this story will go into more depth as to how they died, one chapter per Weasley.
4. Love, Luna
Status: On Hiatus
This is another story related to Hidden. I might actually have to hold this story off until Hidden is complete, but I really like this idea. Luna runs an advice column. I’ll take “problems” given to me by readers and respond to them as Luna might. It’s very exciting to have an interactive story!
5. Walk Away
Status: Complete, one-shot
This story is related to Hidden only by a tangent and takes place during Draco’s search for his home as explained in the seventh chapter of Hidden. The story is dedicated to my friend Periwinkle who loves Draco/Ginny.
Gryffindor Spirit series
1. The Perfect Gryffindor Spirit
Status: Complete, one-shot
My fifth story is The Perfect Gryffindor Spirit in response to Bellatrix Black (from the forums) and her banner. It was an in-House challenge issued to the Gryffindors, and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity to take a plot bunny and actually write it. It’s my first humor piece (though I’m still debating on whether to place it in General). It’s dedicated to all of the Gryffindors whom I’ve come to know over the months as their Head of House and a thank-you for their kind words and acts of appreciation toward me.
2. The Tooth of the Lion
Status: Complete, one-shot
I’m very proud of it since it’s my first Founders’ story. It was written again for the July Gryffindor challenge in response to avenger_of_dumbldore’s banner. When I first saw the banner, I wondered how anyone could write a story about that. But then, once again with the help of the plot bunny, I found the story.
Standalone stories
When We Were Gods
Status: On-going
A sixth story is stirring in my brains. I barely have the plot, but slowly an epic is being born. It’s about the battle between purebloods (who’d established themselves as gods in Ancient Egypt) and the Muggles, Muggle-borns, and half-bloods.
Escape
Status: Complete, one-shot
My seventh story. I originally planned on entering it in the June/July OC challenge, but issues came up, and I found I couldn’t. So I changed the name of the main character and altered the plot. Behold, a one-shot about Travers, the man who allegedly killed Marlene McKinnon and her family. I’m very proud of it, as it is my first D/A story.
Follow the Leader
Status: Complete
I lost count, but this is a recent story of mine. Part of a SPEW challenge, I had decided to delve into the character of Peter Pettigrew. As much as I hate him, I can’t believe that no one can sympathize with him, if not in the beginning only.
Bound
Status: Complete, one-shot
My third story was in response to a challenge to write a Pince/Filch one-shot given to me by evanescence17 in the forums. I was taken over by an urge to write and, lo and behold! Bound was born. It’s not my best work, I can guarantee that, but ah, it’s not horrible either.
Far From Here
Category: Harry/Ginny
My first trio romance as well as my first songfic. Two chapters - one before the last battle and one during.
Give Him a Mask
Category: Draco/Ginny
My entry for the SPEW Swap that takes place after Hogwarts and complies with Book 7 canon. Winner of the 2007 Mod QSQs Best-One Shot award.
Any stories coming up? Not at the moment!
In the Outside world
So what do you do in your free time?: I read. I write. I hang out with friends. I spend a lot of time in front of my computer; it’s my bridge between the two worlds.
Favorite Food?: Currently food disgusts me. You may think it’s anorexia, but it’s not. I just... can’t stand eating.
Favorite Male Character?: I’m completely and utterly in love with Edward Cullen from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. You may not believe it, but I sulked around for two weeks after reading the book because I thought I’d never find anyone like him.
Favorite books?: You mean other than Harry Potter? Assassins of Tamurin, Lord of the Rings, Twilight.
I like anything fantasy so if you have any recommendations, I welcome them :)
Favorite movies?: Other than Harry Potter again? Lord of the Rings, various animated Disney movies, movie musicals.
Favorite authors?: Sophie Kinsella, Stephenie Meyer, Libba Bray, Nicole Galland. I do very light reading.
Favorite Pasttime?: Reading. Or out with my friends. And watching movies.
Future profession? Believe it or not, I’m not looking to become a writer in my future (har har). I’m going to become a doctor. It’s virtually set in stone.
If you’re not going to be a writer, why are you a moderator? I may not be a great writer, but I’m a pretty good editor. I’d like to use my skill while I can to help others as well.
What would you like to change about yourself?: I am a very impatient person to a fault. And I tend to be very blunt. Both have led me to trouble.
How can anyone contact you? My email address is up there. Contact me that way. Or PM me on the forums. Same username. Email address once again is marauder[dot]by[dot]midnight[at]gmail[dot] com
Oh wow. I never imagined this was what Cedric's last moments must've been like.
I didn't know there was so much time between arriving in the graveyard to Cedric's death. I thought they'd landed, and Pettigrew killed him. But the time allotted only gave more emotion and more meaning to the whole story.
I couldn't help but notice you'd written: his friends and Cho. It's very amusing to see Cedric not consider Cho a friend. Whether you meant to set her aside on purpose or whether you wanted to make it look like Cedric was very aware of Cho's presence, I'm not sure. Either way, I liked it.
I found it very beautiful how Cedric thought back on the people he'd left behind. But I also found it very selfish of him to think on all the things he could've done while alive. It might be just me though.
Cedric always was pretty sharp, wasn't he? He figured out the "spare" thing very quickly. I liked this story because Cedric didn't seem as heroic as others had portrayed him to be. He, too, is human enough to show the need to survive, to live. He pleaded for his life mentally, an action most wouldn't have thought this great hero would've done. I suppose it's also meaningful how Harry wasn't able to see Cedric's terror.
It's very nice to see Cedric's point of view of that night in the graveyard. He, a naive young man, was able to see Harry's weakness but also see the distinct lines between good and evil. I suppose he matured a whole lot more after death.
-Bethany
Author's Response: Why thank you, Beth! Your reviews mean so much to me. I\'m really glad you liked it! Oh, and the Cho thing was meant to imply that she was his girlfriend. True, I think it was selfish of him to think about himself, but I was thinking \'Hey, if I died, I would be just a tad upset.\' True, I\'m a very self-centered person, but I think that everyone has a bit of self-centered-ness. Thanks so much for the review!
Oh my. I picked this story to read because it shared the same title as my own, but yours is not at all as terrible as mine. Another story that sent shivers down my spine.
I've always wondered what went on behind Hedwig's big eyes. You described what she saw and what she thought so perfectly, it was not a challenge for me to believe that that is what she thinks indeed of her "master." Hedwig, now that I think about it, really is the most perfect character to give us insight into Harry's life because she lives with him and because she, as his pet and friend, is, as you say, bound to him.
I completely fell in love with your ability to describe. You are able to pinpoint exact emotions with concise and meaningful words. Nothing blank nor filler at all. Every word plays a role in your story; if you left out just one word, your entire story would fall apart (well, okay, it's probably not that serious. But you get the drift ;))
Hedwig's feelings toward Harry, I think though, are a bit unjustified. Harry actually wasn't all that great to her. From time to time he forgot to feed her. He yelled at her once or twice. He banged her cage a couple of times as well. While I was reading the books, I always thought to myself, Harry shouldn't be able to keep a pet. But alas, she still loves him. That's real, deep love. Also, I never imagined Hedwig to have many owners. I would've thought Harry was her first owner, but I suppose she might be talking about the pet store owner too.
Thank you very much for that very enjoyable story. Thank you for not making it Hedwig/Harry. I confess, that's what I was preparing myself for. Good luck with the challenge!
-Bethany
Author's Response: You have a story called Bound? I had no idea; I wasn\'t copying you! Kinda cool, though! Thanks for the concrit! I agree; I decribed how she felt quite well, but I never bothered to mention why she felt the way she did. I might fix that. And about the many owners thing, I agree. It\'s a slim chance; just a random idea I thought of. Thank you very much for the very enjoyable review! :P A Hedwig/Harry, Beth? (I think that\'s where this \'eek\' smilie would do its justice.)
Haha very amusing story!
I enjoyed seeing Lewis rescue the girl first. It helped you avoid the cliche of a damsel-in-distress story.
You did well in keeping your story light yet exciting at the same time. The jokes and the descriptions blended very well! I'm only disappointed in not knowing Juliet's name ;)
Zebedee was a very creative name! Made me smile.
That is true Gryffindor spirit!
-Bethany
A very delicious and heart-breaking story. This chapter made me want to wrap Hagrid in my own arms and cuddle him.
You wrote the emotions very well, giving each character just the right emotion at just the right time, Hagrid especially.
It's nice to see you work in Hagrid meeting Fang! I've always wondered how they met. That must make Fang a VERY old dog!
I had a bit of trouble understanding Kim's involvement in the story though. She seemed like a very insignificant person other than her account that Hagrid saved her life. I, however, was under the impression Dumbledore didn't need her account to know Hagrid was innocent.
I would love a sequel to this one-shot. What was the headmaster's reaction? And how did Dumbledore fail in keeping Hagrid in school?
I can see Hagrid didn't change at all from his school days: always the caring person he'd been in the Harry Potter books.
Hagrid is truly a character often overlooked. It never really occurred to me until now that he was a Gryffindor. You did an excellent job reminding me that he was indeed a Gryffindor.
-Bethany
Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for such a lovely (and long) review. I love getting reviews from you, they are always so well thought out and constructive!
Thank you for your compliments, Hagrid was difficult to write, I\'m glad that he came across so well.
As for Kim\'s involvement, I wanted to keep it minimal. I wanted to show that, as a Gryffindor, Hagrid was brave enough (and willing) to save anyone. She wasn\'t a friend of his, not even a particularly close aquaintance, but he risked his life and magical education to save her.
I don\'t think that Dumbledore needed her account to know that Hagrid was innocent. But, being the fair, equal opportunity guy that he is, he would have wanted to get all the information he could get. That way, no one could accuse him of playing favorites.
A sequel. Oooh, dangerous plot bunny hopping around in my brain. I will have to do that right after I finish chapter 24 for TBWL. I will start jotting down some ideas!
Thank you Bethany!
This story gave me chills when I neared the end. At first, I wasn't sure who this young man was, and you did a great job building up the mystery around the character. The way you portrayed Death in the beginning was very robotic and mechanical; the unfeeling yet childish voice seems reminiscent of the robots in I Robot, if you've ever seen the movie.
It's an interesting idea that Death itself is fleeting (the dead only encounter him for a moment) and that it marks the beginning of another path that all began with meeting Death. There are plenty of such ideas in literature, but the way you put it in the sentences I place them upon the path. I am permitted neither to guide, nor to force them along it. was very clear cut and forced me to think deeper into this particular philosophy. I thought those two sentences were the most powerful I've ever seen in any fanfiction. I was, however, confused by the symbolism of the grass chain. Why would Death bestow such a chain upon his 'victims'?
They were utterly black, and in all ways like the lake: their cold, still depths seeming to stretch out beyond the vast, bleak reaches of eternity itself.
This sentence was a little awkward. I think it should be written They were utterly black and, in more ways than one, like the lake.
is that for anyone in particular?
The 'Is' should be capitalised.
I found the last paragraph unnecessary and weakening for the story as a whole. The second-to-last paragraph was an excellent place to stop, leaving us to our thoughts. While seeing what happens to Harry, Ron, and Hermione immediately after this encounter is okay, it didn't seem of great importance since the story focused more on the meeting with Death than anything else.
Oh dear lord. If this wasn't in humor, I wouldn't know what to do with you. This is, by far, every moderator's nightmare xD
I shall list this under what NOT to do when writing a fanfiction xD
What I loved most about your story was how matter-of-fact you sounded. This and this is how it happens because of this and this. *snorts*
Good. But don't ever do this again. *eyes you sternly*
-Bethany
Author's Response: *puppy eyes* sorry....It\'s just something I needed to do. I promise it won\'t happen again :D Thanks for the review!!!
Whoa. Your story gave me chills and a bit of tears.
This story showed an extremely important lesson to all, Gryffindor or otherwise. Thank you for the great lesson.
You nailed Hermione's character superbly. I've never seen an explanation for Hermione's need to bury herself in schoolwork and books. And here it is, delivered in her own wonderful words.
I don't think you needed the flashback. It led your story into the direction of Harry/Hermione, whether that was your intention or not. Yet in the end, I came to the conclusion that the love between them wasn't romantic. It was merely strong, strong friendship. I find the latter relationship much more fitting than the former.
You wrote to allow me to use all of my five senses while reading this story and I enjoyed it. You not only showed me the scene and the story but you took me further. You brought me to the scene. Behold the magic of words when pieced just right.
-Bethany
Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the review, Beth. I\'m glad you thought that I characterized Hermione well; I actually wasn\'t sure how to approach it, but I\'m happy it turned out properly. I know the flashback kind of make you think about H/Hr, because I was originally going in that direction, but I changed my mind later on. I decided just friendship was good enough. :)
Hehe, I didn\'t know you got a lesson out of this, but I\'m glad you enjoyed it. :)
Ah this story stood out in my mind. I thought it was very creative how your "Great Love" entry didn't end in a happy note like the others. When I first saw how Chloe loved James, I was very curious as to how it would end happily (I automatically assumed it would).
What I found interesting is how it seemed that Chloe was very hopeful, in the end, to forget everything and that the freedom would be welcoming. But then, you began to confuse me into thinking it may not be as sweet and desired as before. After all, you pointed out, rightfully so, that "lost memories were what hurt the most."
Hehe I like the image of a longing Sirius, the man most would've assumed to be a lady's man. Very ironic how he couldn't catch Chloe's eye.
The scene in the Three Broomsticks must've been so hard on Chloe. She was brave when she did it, and I'm almost shocked to see she's not in Gryffindor ;)
-Bethany
Author's Response: Okay, I\'m going to officially stop hating this story. Though I am still baffled as to why everyone loves it, I shall just accept that it might be slightly tolerable. Maybe. Lol, anyway, thank you so much! I\'ve never had a mod review any of my stories before! Actually, Leanne\'s a mod, so nevermind! But still, it meant a lot! And yes, I may contradict myself with Chloe slightly. But as I mentioned before, she\'s a dreamer, so she still held on to the hope that he would love her until the very end. And I hope my cynical note won\'t hurt my chances for the challenge? When I read the challenge summary, I automatically thought \'sad ending\'. I don\'t know why, but I guess it\'s just the pessimest inside of me. Lol! And yes, she does seem pretty Gryff-ish, now that I come to think about it. Thanks SO much for taking the time to review this! I\'m so honored that it stood out in your mind!
Poor Andromeda! I've always wondered what Andromeda would be like if she appeared in the Harry Potter books.
You captured the conflict within the Black family, and other pureblood families very well especially in this sentence:
Should she mourn for the loss of her sister, or should she rejoice that there was less evil in the world?
Very good and very expected characterization of Andromeda. The one Black sister (the sister most don't even remember) who married outside the pureblood society.
What I couldn't understand was why she was so desperate to have Bellatrix listen to her. What did she have to say? Andromeda merely talked about how Bellatrix had treated her; is that what she's always wanted to say?
It's very tragic how even though Andromeda knows how Bellatrix had been treating her, she still feels a need to be accepted by her sister. Would you say Bellatrix was Andromeda's role model when she was young? I wonder why Bellatrix always refused to listen to her when they was younger. I suppose Andromeda showed signs of Muggle-loving very young.
What's even more tragic is how Bellatrix continued to ignore her final plead in death.
I'd like to see a work done on Andromeda's thoughts on Sirius' death just as a comparison. After all, he was a cousin whom Andromeda very much liked and couldn't have thought was evil.
-Bethany
Author's Response: I basically answered this in my thread in the duelling club. Thanks SO much for reviewing!!
Hehe I absolutely had to review this story when I modded. Very very delicious.
I really liked the idea of Lily coming after James, especially after he took on responsibility and changed. I'm looking forward, however, to a further explanation as to why he changed. Was it because of something she'd said to him before? Or did he just suddenly realize how stupid he'd been? Also, what did Lily say the second time Dumbledore asked her "why?"
The talk of "Ryan" was very very funny and original. No wonder she didn't remember him!
I also liked how you brought back the old James so slowly and oh-so-beautifully. I'd forgotten why I liked James so much, and your story reminded me why.
Thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks a bunch! So you think I should right a sequel? I kind of like this one how it is. I hadn\'t really thought of doing a sequel for it. In this story, James changed because he just needed to mature, not because of something Lily said, but he didn\'t stop liking Lily. He just took her \"back off\" message and hid it well.
Oh how bittersweet.
I especially loved your ending, how you ended your despairing story with a slight upturn, a need for hope. It shows there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I only wish you'd made the story longer. I'd like to know who Ben is, who Kayla is. Are they part of a greater story?
In this sentence: "Ben I don't think I can bare this," I think you mean "bear" instead of "bare." It was the only distracting mistake.
I'd truly like to find out more about your characters. You certainly left me hanging here!
-Bethany
Author's Response: Ben and Kayla are part of the bigger scheme of the Make Ma Better Universe. They are the parents of Iris, who is the main charcter in The Delicate Scent of a Flower, and a close friend of Alex and Rose\'s.
Anyway, Thanks for the review, Beth!!
A humble review from your HoH and your beta ;)
You didn't go too much into J/L, which can be good or bad ;)
I really thought James's actions in Transfiguration were really sweet. I felt like hitting Lily upside the head for not realizing his actions were out of his love for her.
It was very refreshing to see the couple go through first through sixth years in just one chapter. You were able to choose the snippets that mattered most during those years. Kept you from rambling about...well, nothing. Good job!
Haha I can almost hear Lily's exasperation in the last sentence. It was very creative of you to integrate the title in like that!
Very funny story! I'd like to see more J/L from you. And that's an order, missy ;)
-Bethany
Author's Response: Aw, thank you, Bethany. I\'m really glad to know you like my story. The whole \'rambling about nothing\' thing is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I do my best not to have my stories turn into the very thing I dislike. And as to more J/L stories- I\'ll get right on it, ma\'am, I mean, your Royal Highness!
Oh I thought I had already reviewed this. I know I've already read it.
Well I thought it was very creative of you to work in substitute professors. they're also so cheerful and they almost always are welcome. Professor Berezi was very entertaining. She's so carefree and fun! I enjoyed the comment about Snape's arse, by the way.
I enjoyed Ron's potion essay very much. I thought it was very clever to work in "chivalry is dead." Very very genius. Same for the "arrogance" bit. The compassion was also nice. It was very in-character of Hermione to not be able to find a complex potion that represents her. You know, sometimes I think she's a touch insane. I would've liked a bit more humor involved with the firewhisky part though. I'm sure you could've worked something in xD
Your interpretation of toast was pure genius. Very very creative. I was shocked at it, but now it makes complete sense! Pooh on Snape for ruining it all.
-Bethany
Author's Response: Yeah, you have read this... You\'re the mod who validated it! ;) Thanks for the review, Beth.
I\'m glad you enjoyed the story and found it in character. I agree with you on Hermione; she is a bit insane.
Thanks again for the lovely review!
-MadMar
Oh what a breath-taking story. I have goosebumps now.
This story fits the eulogy drabble in the Three Broomsticks. Care to participate in that too? ;)
I was wondering who would step up to the challenge of Harald's banner since it seemed awfully hard for me. You did so very very well. I never imagined it would be a funeral-type story, but you worked it very very well (I know I'm being repetitive).
I enjoyed the eulogy very much. It seems appropriate to have Lupin talk at the funeral, though I would've expected Ron and Hermione to talk as well, since, after all, they were his best friends. I liked the part about the Dursleys. Serves them right, after treating him the way they did. I'd like to see their reaction after Harry died (ooh plot bunny attacks again).
Your characters were very in-character. They expressed the emotions I thought they would. I particularly enjoyed Hermione's furious blinking. That hit the emotion right on the head. However, I think it might've been even angstier, and more realistic, if Ginny didn't cry. She seemed to sob periodically, and for some reason, I don't see Ginny as the sobbing type.
Your ending was by far the best part of your story. It truly showed that Harry would be remembered forever by those he loved and those who loved him in return.
-Bethany
Author's Response: Well, I didn\'t want to make the fic too long with Hermione and Ron speaking, plus Hermione would probably end up blubbering. I mean, she and Harry were like brother and sister.
I thought of how Ginny reacted at Dumbledore\'s funeral, but made it more extreme, since she was so in love with Harry, and she was partly the reason Harry died. (partly explained in Hero)
Oooh, I\'ll check out the eulogy challenge!
Thanks for reviewing!
Very very cute! Another beautiful J/L under your belt.
There were a few hyphen errors along with canon capitalization, but nothing serious and certainly nothing that diverted attention away from your piece.
Oh I feel sorry for Lily, being the subject of James's jokes. I must read "A Change of View" sometime soon. Why don't you combine them into one story? It'll certainly make things easier.
I'm not quite sure which year the boys are in in this story, but perhaps you tell us in "A Change of View."
I very much enjoyed this line:
James Potter didn’t change sides to be with other people. Other people change sides to be with James Potter.
Highly entertaining and very true. I can see James's big head even now! I can't wait to see the connection between this James and the James in "How He Knew."
Again, I'd like to see these one-shots put in one big story instead of spread out like this ;)
-Bethany
Author's Response: Sorry, about the errors. I guess I shouldn\'t have been impatient.
Actually, I think I\'m going to make it a series if I write a third installment. I don\'t know why, but I just don\'t like writing chapters or combining. I\'m rather odd...
There isn\'t a big connection in this James and the \"How He Knew\" James. I really haven\'t thought about how this James will mature. Also, in \"How He Knew\", Lily liked James from the beginning, and that\'s definitely not the case in this story.
Wow. I've never read such an accurate description of the second generation before.
Your characterization of Mandy seems perfect - exactly the way I envisioned Harry's children. In a way, I feel sorry for them, how they have to live in their father's shadow. How they're always compared to him. It seems fitting.
They think I’m vain about my past, that I’m conceited because my father was famous.
That makes a lot of sense to me, and I'm glad you brought it up. That's another reason, I'm assuming, why Mandy can almost never fit in. People don't understand her, sadly enough, but she seems like such a great person to get to know.
I think, however, throwing all of this out at once wasn't the best choice for this story. Granted, I don't know what I'd do instead of doing that, but strangely, I think that all of these emotions bundled together in one story devalues the respect I had for Mandy. To me, she sounds like she's feeling sorry for herself. It's really hard to describe a lonely character without making her sound self-pitying (a characteristic most would consider a flaw).
I feel so sorry for Ginny in this story. I'm assuming Mandy's mother is Ginny. It almost broke my heart to see that Mandy was a living, constant reminder of the love she lost. Now, I'm usually not a fan of canon pairings, but in this instance, I'm very intrigued. The love between Harry and Ginny must've been so strong.
Helen Brown...The way you said she reminded Mandy of her own mother didn't seem to fit in very well. I was very confused, but then...just now, it struck me. Could she be the daughter of Ron and Lavender? Oh my! That would be delightful and utterly interesting! But right now, Helen seems a bit...funny. She doesn't seem consistent. At first glance, she seems shy; she's sitting by herself and smiling awkwardly at Mandy. But then she completely blurts out her question and begins rambling on about Quidditch. It doesn't seem consistent, but all in all, Helen seems like a funny little character and a good friend for Mandy.
Mandy's reluctance to get to know more about her father at school was really touching. However, it wasn't explained too well as to why she was so reluctant. Sure, she doesn't want to know more about the things she has in common with her dad. But, could you go in more detail?
Lastly, I want to applaud you on your summary. That summary is really an eye-catcher. It gave me a basic glimpse in your story, enough so that I'm curious as to what you're talking about.
I hope you go into more detail as to what happened to Harry and who Helen is. I'm very thirsty to find out everything!
-Bethany
Author's Response: I\'m sorry, but i\'m kind of overwhelmed with school right now. I\'ll get back to you and give this review the long response it deserves. Thanks for reviewing!
I'm very disappointed in myself for not having reviewed this story. You'd think I could remember to review a favorite story of mine....*shakes head*
How she wished she had never seen those two words! How she wished he never existed! How she wished he had never entered her life and left again, dragging her heart behind him.
Those phrases seemed a bit out of place; they sound overly dramatic and didn't fit in too well with the pacing and tone of the story. However, it did very well conveying the feelings Ginny has or had for Draco. Very strong descriptions and words.
Being this close to him, feeling the shape of his body again, feeling the smooth rising of his chest intoxicated her senses and her body slumped slightly before she had time to arrange herself again.
Lovely imagery. I could almost feel exactly what Ginny's feeling. This does nothing to quell my rising affection toward Draco Malfoy...
Your descriptions for the tango were absolutely brilliant. The words you used captured the art, the elegance, and the tempo extremely well. Did you describe the dance based on what you've seen or from personal experiences? It's very dramatic and paces the story very well, allowing time for the reader to catch up on what Ginny's thinking.
Ginny almost stopped but saved herself in time when the realization that Draco was the perfect partner for her dawned on her.
This was when I first realized that the dance was a metaphor for Ginny and Draco's relationship. Just thought I'd point that out :) It also seems fitting to have Draco know how to dance. At first, I was a bit iffy at the idea of mean, old Draco Malfoy knowing how to dance. But then, I realized, if his parents are social creatures, he would be expected to know how to dance.
"Figure it out yourself, Weasley," he answered softly, head turned away from her.
You did well maintaining the mystery. At first, I thought it was mere coincidence that they met at Ginny's dance academy (even though you explicitly said Draco had attended another academy and that Ginny was surprised to see him at hers). The fact that he called her 'Weasley' threw me off as well; it seemed like he was angry at her at first but then I zeroed in on the word "whispered" and knew there was something deeper...
Wrapping this up. I loved how you paced (that word again) Ginny's gradual love for Draco. You did very well in inserting those comments in between those vivid descriptions. However, I thought Draco was a bit mis-characterized. Either that, or I think we need to get to know Draco a bit better. Because there's no time period placed on this story, I have no idea if Draco's good or bad, so the characterization of Draco is essentially missing. Perhaps a little sequel will help me draw my conclusion *hint hint*
-Beth
Author's Response: Aww, Beth dear! Thank you so much for this review. It\'s really brightened my day. I\'ll take your concrit to mind. Yes, I see what you mean when you say Draco is mis-characterized; don\'t worry. I\'ll think of something. *hugs*
You make me feel so proud of Neville in this story. I really like how you strategically built the story up to the end, first focusing on "trivial" matters like his first painting and the moving into the second war. While you did that, you really brought out Neville's character, and I can see so clearly how his character grows in the span of, say twelve years.
It's heart-wrenching to see Neville's innocence in the first paragraph. I can just picture a little boy tugging on his unresponsive mother's arm. He seems so desperate to know his mummy and to make everyone around him better. And I do agree that she would be able to hear what he has to say even if she can't respond.
Neville was never portrayed as the bravest person in the book, and you showed that bravery was never one of his qualities in childhood. It makes watching him grow up so satisfying to know that he had worked to hard to prove so many people wrong. His low self-esteem at times in your story, "I'm nobody," really makes me want to shake him or hold him and cry, just telling him that he could do it.
This was a beautiful story that had me in tears by the end. Neville wasn't a character that we truly understood in the series, but here, I understand him and respect him so much more than Harry at times. He opens up to the only person he can open up to: his mother. Though he had escaped the prophecy, we still see his suffering and we still see his determination to fight for what's right. Absolutely beautiful.
Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for such a kind review. I\'d been considering having a spring clean through all my fics and was going to remove this piece - I\'d never really thought very much of it before. Your review has really made my day, and I think I\'ll keep it up a little longer now. I\'m so glad you thought I portrayed Neville correctly. I love his character, I think he\'s someone who suffers a lot more than any of the other characters realise and he deserves his moments of glory. He is incredibly brave, he just needs to realise it!
Thank you so much, xx
Now do you see why Draco/Ginny is so awesome to read?
I'm going to dive into my favorite thing about this story right now. I usually save it for last, but this is a special case.
I loved your use of imagery. Loved with a capital L. Especially in the beginning. You slowly eased us into the chapter instead slapping us with a quote or something of that sort. You gave us a picture of Ginny's character at an angle I've never seen before: miserable, angry, and worried. Truthfully, there aren't many stories that really address all her concerns, concerns that thankfully don't revolve around Harry, in such a manner. I felt I really knew her but at the same time made her such a mystery. I don't know how you do it, but you keep at it, ya hear?
All jokes set aside, I'm going to continue this review. [Not sure if SPEW reviews should contain attempts at humor]
THANK YOU for not letting Ginny catch Draco just before he collapsed with no questions asked. THANK YOU for making her human, Weasley, and enemy-suspicious by believing for a moment that it was a trap. I highly doubt anyone in that time, especially not with all that worry on her mind would actually hurry to a known Death Eater's legacy's side and just heal him back to health like an airhead who can't think. Draco's story was also very believable. Being a child of LusciousLucius and Narcissa would obviously get you into the inner circle of Death Eaters. So most of his friends, most of his acquaintances would be those Death Eaters, the same Death Eaters that are chasing him.
He was always unable to look her in the eye. It reminded her of Percy, when he would pass them in the Alley; she knew it was a matter of broken pride.
Brilliant. I didn't see the connection with Percy until now. If only I was ingenius enough to have thought of this first and incorporated it in my own stories. Now that you mention it, Percy and Draco really are similar. Uncannily similar.
Now for a few critiques.
"Blood stained" should be hyphenated. That's a small one, and the only true grammar mistake I could find apart from the next one.
Stop calling me ‘Ginny’, since when
The comma should actually be a semi-colon or a period. It's a bit awkward seeing a comma act like a period and separating two separate sentences with no conjunction in between. It's a bit of a run-on. There are a few of these throughout the story and they might not be as easy to spot as other mistakes.
"God," I thought should be capitalized in "Oh my God." But I could be wrong about this one. It's just I've never seen "God" uncapitalised except when referring to pagan gods and not the one Christian God.
The way Ginny reacted to Draco's appearance at first made me believe that Ginny knew Draco as a friend. She didn't react by pulling out a wand (something I would've suspected a person would do in dark times such as those when a mysterious dark person addressed you in your own home) or by doing anything else but saying his name. As I read on, this theory wasn't consistent with what you wrote (You fancied yourself up with transfiguration spells, and you’ve come to take me to them or something.). So maybe, if you could try to make Ginny a bit more startled by Draco's appearance. It seemed like she not only didn't fear him, but she expected him.
That's really it from me. I'm not sure if I had thought to say something else (I might've forgotten). But, again, I felt very much connected with this story. The love between Ginny and Draco was subtle and fragile, but the ending seems very definite and I'm sure everything worked out for them.
Good job with this story, Jenna. I'm sure Peri-Anna loved it as much as I did.
-Beth
Author's Response: I really appreciate the feedback on Ginny\'s reaction. I wrote this within an hour, so, I\'m quite sure there is room for improvement. The only thing I\'m keeping is \'god\' uncapitalised. In the HP world, it just seems more appropriate, less offencive, and much less annoying than \"oh my gods\" which I see too often -_- Anyway. Glad you enjoyed it! I think I might actually turn this into a chaptered-fic, if only to satiate the 2334 D/G shippers I know ;)
I did tell you this story made me cry right? *sigh*
When I first clicked this story, I have to admit I was a bit curious about the title. I did a double-take on the category. Surely a Remus/Sirius couldn't be titled Amanda without making it a threesome, could it?
When I read the letter, I was even more wary. Who is this mysterious Amanda? And why is she featured in a Remus/Sirius story? I was going crazy - no dead person can influence a Remus/Sirius story. No one.
And you proved me so damn wrong. And I loved it.
Suicide isn't something I like reading in fan fiction. It comes too uncomfortably close to the problems in real life that I'm trying to escape through fan fiction. Plus I've seen too many stories where suicide is abused atrociously. Here, I can't quite place my feelings about how it's treated. The reaction to Amanda's death isn't as tender or sensitive as I'd like it to be, but that's real life for you; not everyone shows remorse when someone dies, tragically. I was more interested, though, in Remus' feelings toward her death. I know he was shocked and saddened by her loss, but it wasn't until the very end did I realise exactly how much he missed her and how much he appreciated her. At the table in the morning, he seems pained, but the emotions weren't strong enough to make me realise that wow, he truly was a great friend to her. It seemed like he was just part of the majority of the school - saddened and shocked by a loss.
Also, James' and Sirius' jokes were a nice touch to such a somber moment. I'm glad you didn't go so far as to have them make fun of her death. It makes it easier to forgive them for treating such a topic so casually. “I’m a monster.” especially made me laugh.
The scene in Transfiguration seemed a bit awkward. However, given the situation, McGonagall's discomfort was well-explained. Her explanation just seemed a bit unnecessary. Why did she tell the class about the deaths if she was pretty sure everyone knew about it anyway? By putting it into words, especially from a teacher, could really make a big impact on what people feel. Did Remus feel any differently after hearing this "proclamation?"
I'm just a bit confused about Remus' relationship with Amanda. At first, it seemed like they were really close. But then, Remus seems shocked after finding out he was to write a eulogy for her service; he didn't even know her that well. However, from the eulogy itself, it does show, once again, that Remus is a close friend of Amanda's. I wonder why Remus didn't consider himself a close friend when he first spoke to McGonagall. I would've loved to see more scenes with Amanda and Remus to give me an idea of how close they were. She seems like a fun person, vowing to get Remus and Sirius together. Another scene with her wouldn't have hurt your story at all (though I don't know where you might've fit it in).
Sirius in this story was a refreshing character. He wasn't the ladies' man at all; rather, he was a deep character who was sweet and soft with Remus. I love how you depicted the two of them working together and revealing their feelings to each other. I can see how they both shared strength and both supported each other. I know that the love between them in this story is strong and presumably everlasting. Wonderful way of showing it!
Last, but certainly not least, I loved how you incorporated a third person, a non-Marauder, to show Remus and Sirius the light, so to speak. You chose an OC to reveal truth to the characters, an OC whom everyone would overlook and underestimate. Her death, though tragic, helped everyone in the end; a moment of despair brought on many moments of love and tenderness. Very unexpected and very beautiful. Your ending particularly was very powerful. Remus' speech was short, but it was so obvious he meant every word he said and much more. Amanda's last comment caused me to shiver.
Beautifully done, Harald. Thank you for a delightful and heart-felt read.
-Beth
Author's Response: Beth, you validated the story AND reviewed! You\'re too much, really! Ok, where do I start? At the beginning I guess... It\'s funny when you said that no dead person could influence Remus/Sirius, but in \"Death Rose\" is another dead woman that influences. Why am I writing about this stuff? Maybe I need therapy. Oh, right, I\'m already in therapy, silly me. That explains A LOT. People don\'t react to Amanda\'s death as much because they didn\'t really know her. Sure they knew who she was, but they didn\'t talk to her - ever. The only person who ever talked to her was Remus, and that\'s why she concidered him her friend. Remus was nice to her because he knew what she went through every day, but he didn\'t concider her his friend. That\'s why he\'s so shocked when they tell him he should write the eulogy. To Remus they only talked casually, but it meant the world to her. McGonagall announced Amanda\'s death because it was her duty as a teacher. It didn\'t matter if the student knew or not, she had to tell them as their teacher. At least that\'s what I think someone in her position would do. I\'m glad you like my characterization of Sirius. I hate it when he\'s written like a ladie\'s man (for more than one reason) I really don\'t think he was a skirt-chaser. Thank you so much for this wonderful review, Beth!!!