It's really good to see the trio from another perspective. Lavender isn't quite the malicious airhead I assumed she was from the books, and that's good. You developed a flat character into a rounder one, one whom we can understand and not hate so much.

...her head rested on one of the Gryffindor-coloured cushions
"Gryffindor" isn't a color so it can't be used in this context. "Gryffindor-themed" may have been a better choice of words. I understand what you're trying to say, but it wasn't put in the correct way in this case.

Maybe their first kiss hadn’t been so great, her feeling as if he was eating her face, but he had progressively improved and was now as good as you get!
Hehe, this was pretty funny and took me by surprise. I had forgotten, from reading all those stories about Ron-the-fabulous-snogger that Lavender did give him his first kiss. Great job mixing in humor in the most unexpected places!

The way you described the animosity between Lavender and Hermione, from Lavender's point of view, I can see how they completely clash with one another. In HBP, it was obvious Hermione and Lavender were both at odds and possessive over Ron. While we saw a lot of Hermione's reactions, Lavender's thoughts weren't very clear. Good job voicing them and in a way that is completely plausible and fitting for both characters.

However, the final confrontation between Hermione and Lavender didn't seem to fit either character. Lavender turned into a foul-mouthed, tempered girl who was willing to forfeit her "Won-won" so easily after seeing them together. Hermione, who I thought would've jumped at the opportunity to stake her claim over Ron, did something reasonable. The thing that was emphasized in HBP was Hermione's surprising break in character by being insensible and unrational when it came to Ron and Lavender. She wasn't the same mature person you depicted here; she was much more childish (sending canaries after them, for example). I wasn't sure about Ron's reaction either. While it was bold of him and I was very proud of him for standing up to Lavender, it seemed awkward and might not have been his style. But, seeing as how no one had called Hermione a "bitch" before, I wouldn't know how he would've reacted.

"Muggle-borns" has a hyphen. Just for future reference.

There were also a few commas out-of-place as well as some words that didn't quite fit in (almost like the "Gryffindor-coloured cushions"). But while they stood out, the story as a whole was quite lovely and entertaining to read. It was refreshing, seeing a Seamus/Lavender, and very plausible if a few minor details were adjusted/added. Congratulations!

-Beth

Author's Response: omg, this is a perfect example of reviews I want! You showed me exactly what I need to do to become a better writer, and mistakes that I made in this fic. I\'ll change them as soon as possible! Thank you so much for your review and everything you said!

I'm still adjusting to poetry. I'm no poetry expert and never will I be. I just...I'm horrible with poetry, let's just leave it at that.

I found it very creative how you hadn't specified Sirius or Regulus by name. It made the poem much more mysterious and allowed for me to make connections with my own life. In fact I didn't even know this poem was about Sirius until I read the reviews on this poem.

The extended metaphor with the sun - brilliant, and no pun intended. Your description of the sun is perfect. It is fleeting and not something to pass up. I can hear the urgency in Sirius' tone, pleading Regulus to step through and to embrace the light, to reject the darkness that they'd lived in for so long.

I can't pretend I know what the structure of the poem stands for, but I can tell there's something important going on with the indents and the breaks. *blushes*

Then I have
lost you / we have lost each other.

That's my favorite line of the entire poem. You show their mutual loss very well. It's so obvious that Sirius still loves his brother even after he makes that choice. What brotherly love.

The last line is so definite. A very melancholy, yet fitting ending to an emotionally strong poem. If only it didn't have to end that way for Regulus.

-Beth

Firstly, I want to thank you for doing an utterly beautiful job at this prompt. Seriously. I've read this before, but I know it can do with a longer review to let you know exactly what I thought.

You built your story up from the very first sentence with an ominous setting to match the ominous situation. I liked how you just dove right in the situation without spending too much time on setting, but enough so that I got the general idea. "Apparated," "Aurors," and "Portkey" should be capitalized though.

Poor Draco in the village. I can almost see how desolate and hopeless he was to just give up and let himself be found in the village. It's a wonder how he kept up those shield charms for so long since they sound like such a tough thing to maintain. But then, I can almost see him just covering this up by telling Ginny he'd been expecting her all along to tell him whatever it was and be gone.

Seeing Draco resist Ginny's comments about his mother threw me off. He seemed drunk, but calm, until Ginny mentioned her. Suddenly he exploded. I think it was because of Draco's inability to face the past and the truth, but there seems to be something deeper in the way Draco reacted. It didn't seem...Draco-ish.

Ginny taking Draco to his room seemed so motherly, a great characteristic to give Ginny. After all, she's watched her own mother mother all her brothers over the years. It's no wonder that she has some of these qualities as well.

Putting in that excerpt about Book 5 was ingenius. I'm not sure if that's exactly what happened in Umbridge's office that day (as in, I'm not sure if it's written word for word), but if it isn't, you've had me convinced it was and that Rowling was, all along, supporting Draco/Ginny. The meaning behind both of their words was so heavy and so mysterious, I had to reread it for a while.

Ginny's reaction to Draco shaking her was odd. I would've expected her to snap right back demanding what the hell he was doing. And Draco yelling at her is certainly intimidating enough. Her reaction seemed a bit unbelievable, but I can see how you can attribute it to her tiredness (flying on a broomstick for five days? oye).

Ginny trying to prove Narcissa was alive was brilliantly done. I can see how she was struggling to name characteristics about Draco when she didn't know much about him to begin with. However, portraying Draco through the eyes of Narcissa and the words of Ginny was beautifully worded. I bet hearing himself being described so adequately by someone not in the family must've been unnerving. Draco's reaction to the words was so human, so raw, that I finally accepted him as a character then.

What I think would've empowered your story so much more would be actually describing the scene of the reunion between mother and son. That would have shown the core and the heart of those supposedly cold-hearted Malfoys.

I wanted you to do what I couldn’t, to break free from the hold I had on you, like I wanted to break free from the hold my father had on me.

My favorite lines in this entire story. Absolutely...wow.

I'm just so pleased with this story, the way you brought Draco and Ginny together. It's not easy, since they're so opposite each other character-wise. But you did it. You brought them together in a way that was just so unique - by focusing on something outside the pair to bring them together. Wow.

-Beth

Author's Response: *huggles* Thank you for the lovely review, Beth! I\'m glad you liked what I did with your prompt. About Draco, I love the D/G ship, but I had some trouble keeping him IC here and at times, I felt as if I had lost him and created a new character, I hope he was still recognisable though. I\'ll correct those spelling mistakes right away, thanks again.

When I first read the title, I wasn't very intrigued. There've been so many tales about what makes a Gryffindor or what is courage. However, being a Gryffindor HoH on the forums, I couldn't help but read your idea of what a Gryffindor is. And boy, am I glad I clicked on this link.

I haven't read many Marauder-era stories besides those with James/Lily. It's refreshing to read a story about Remus' point of view, though, on the moment he found out his friends knew about his condition. There've been a lot of takes on this, and many a good story has come from that moment Remus found out. But, I've never read a story this powerful before. Never had I thought that Remus would actually entertain the notion of death after his friends found out because, in my opinion, it's not a big deal if my friends find out I'm a werewolf. Easier said than done, is what you proved to me.

I love the tone you've given Remus. The dejected feelings are reflected perfectly off of the thoughts that run frantically through Remus' mind, the disgust in himself so evident. I feel so sorry for him after reading the small yet important portion about his family and their fears of his "wildness." His belief that all he does is take up space also pangs my heart because as we read on in the series, we've (or at least, I've) come to love Remus for the person he is.

There are some technical mistakes in this piece that should be corrected if possible. "Twelve-year-old" is hyphenated as is "fifteen-year-old." "House," when referring to the four Houses of Hogwarts, should always be capitalised. And there are a few run-ons in your story (where you replace the period with a comma). Other than that, it's a good, clean piece with great and imaginative descriptions.

Good job! Hope to see another story from you very soon!

-Marauder by Midnight

Author's Response: I love his character too, to me, it doesn\'t matter that he\'s a werewolf, and luckily his friends share this view. I will try to correct the errors, thanks for pointing them out, and thanks for the great review.

Hey, another Claude-Michel Schönberg fan! I was looking forward to your story from the minute I saw where you got your lyrics from.

Will a little more destruction make any difference to our lives?

A very good question. I can see the application of this question to current events as well. Contrasting the futures of Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley was a very good touch as well. However, I can see how destroying Knockturn Alley might infringe on people's rights; they're not doing anything illegal, just selling some very creepy and very dark stuff. Unless the new laws prohibit that, which could lead to some problems too. I would think Knockturn Alley would've been incorporated into Diagon Alley rather than destroyed and banned. I could see arguments either way, but I think destroying it and the shops there might cause more conflict than promote peace.

The lyrics of the songs you used probably should've been italicized. It's distracting to have a one-liner that doesn't seem to fit into the story itself to interrupt my reading then a split second later find out that it's actually a song lyric to promote the atmosphere and theme of the story.

Does this make war right, having the right intentions? Does this justify killing?

Again, great questions that are applicable to general situations.

They’ve set up memorials to the dead, and a graveyard set aside for the bodies, a place where we can go to mourn.

I found this to be awkwardly worded. It should be "memorials of the dead." The comma between "dead" and "and" is also unnecessary and threw me off quite a bit. I also think it would've been better if you specified that the memorial and the graveyard were for the victims of the war rather than the dead - "the dead" is such a general term.

Death wasn’t picky who it took, Death Eaters and Order members, wizards and Muggles, young and old, all are represented here.

The comma after "took" should be a semi-colon. Also, you say that Death Eaters are buried alongside the Order. Why is that? Why are they not buried somewhere else, disgraced and their images forever marred. It wouldn't sit well for most of the survivors to have their dead relatives resting for eternity next to their murderers. Note that this is not my opinion - it is just a pattern observed in reality.

Fate spared us, those that are left.

"That" should be "who"; you're talking about people, not objects.

I find it crazy that you foresaw Fred's death. Not many people predicted that.

You have a lot of run-ons in this chapter. Don't separate sentences with commas. Separate them with periods or semi-colons.

Sirius died in the Ministry, in the fight that launched the war, James and Lily Potter died to protect Harry and create a hero.

Run-on. But the second part of the sentence: is it saying that James and Lily died to create a hero? That seems like a weird way of putting it. Perhaps something like "James and Lily Potter died to protect Harry, a hero." And you can't really say James and Lily created a hero since when a hero becomes a hero, especially Harry, is debatable unless you can provide an argument.

We’ve changed since the war, loosing some of our light heartedness and instead becoming graver and more reflective."Loosing" should be "losing" and "light heartedness" should be "light-heartedness." Also, this is a rather depressing sentence, especially after reading the last sentence in this chapter. Is being grave and reflective what it means to be strong or lucky?

Through all the pain comes hope.

Indeed.

While this story was a good idea and explored the future of the wizarding community after the war, I feel that there were parts that just seemed to ramble. A lot of the story was just repeating what was previously said. Make sure that every sentence has a purpose.

Grace seems so firm to have Lucius stay out of her son's life. From your writing, I can understand why; Lucius' role in Lucas' life would complicate young Lucas' life too much, Lucas already has a fatherly figure in his life, AND Lucius' reputation would be beyond repair if the scandal did surface. It makes me wonder though: didi she truly care for Lucius at all? Would the last reason just be a reason of convenience? From the resemblance between 'Lucas Malory' and 'Lucius Malfoy,' I'd say it was a subtle recognition of the father.

I really would've liked to see the Wizarding world's reaction to Lucas' birth. Perhaps Narcissa could've said something about it between Grace's first and second letters. It would've made the chapter more rounded, accounting for the rest of the world rather than just Grace, Lucius, and Lucas.

Lucas knows of your existence, but I am pleased to say that he has never shown any interest in seeing you or even hearing about you.
That line made me snort out loud. What a paradox.

With a quick movement of his wand, he erased both Grace Malory and her letter from his life.
I really liked the finality that line had insinuated, only to see that Grace and Lucas continue to weave themselves into Lucius' life. It's interesting to see such one-sidedness; never does Lucius attempt to contact the Malorys. This could be misconstrued into showing that Grace, despite her words, really does integrate herself and her son into Lucius' life.

Loved seeing the comparison between Lucas and Draco. Poor Draco cannot match the skills and talents of his older half-brother. Your words showed that despite Lucius' efforts, he can't help but appreciate Lucas as his son and rather condemns Draco for the lack of talent.

I remembered vaguely that Draco told Harry in SS that he was nearly sent to Durmstrang; VERY GOOD JOB in incorporating that in your chapter. How ingenious of you for having Lucius consider Durmstrang because Lucas went to Hogwarts!

Some nitpicking:

at lest tell you. -- Should that be "at least" or "at last?"

son if his -- Son of his.

made yeas ago -- made years ago.

When reading trough the letter -- When reading through the letter.

Author's Response: Beth! Another amazing review!

Oh, yes, Grace did care for Lucius, but she’s a very rational woman and knew that there was no way they could ever work out together. And she cared for her son much, much more than her lover. Lucas’ name, however, is indeed intended to be a small recognition of his father. Plus, Grace liked it. ;)

To tell you the truth, there really wasn’t a “reaction” to Lucas’ birth in the Wizarding world. As Grace said, it was all very privately taken care of, and among the pure-bloods, where one might have spotted Lucas’ resemblance to his father, those things were often turned a blind eye at. Lucas also wasn’t out and about much before he went to Hogwarts, which I think might be rather typical for magical children.

Thanks for the nitpicking and your praise, Beth darling. :D

A real breathtaking story that really looked at all the sides of alcoholism. Not many stories, fanfiction or otherwise, do that very well. Yet you picked an important character who allianced herself to the weak man and you portrayed her growth as a human very very well.

I like how you weave in Cho's happier memories in the times when things aren't going very well for her. You contrasted the sweetness of their first meeting very well with the beating Paolo was currently administering to her.

Paolo's switch from beating his wife and showing concern for her are also characteristics of the alcoholic which you, again, show magnificently. The transition between the two are choppy, though I'm not sure if you did that on purpose or not. It would be interesting for Cho to see that change in his facial expressions, and I think it may contribute a stronger image than what you have already.

Yun knowing about how Cho was being beaten and not doing something about it doesn't seem very motherly. True, it is Cho's life after all, but I doubt Yun would sit by and watch her precious daughter get beaten, no matter how much she's thinking, "I told you so." I certainly wouldn't let such a thing happen to any of my family members, and whether they like it or not, I would get myself involved. It would have been more believable to see Yun play a more active role in not only protecting her daughter but showing concern for her. Cho doesn't strike me as a person who comes from a haughty, proud family, so it doesn't make much sense for Yun to stand by like this.

I've also been wondering about Cho's disconnection from the wizarding world. Why would she distance herself from magic so? She works in a Muggle school, she lives very much like a Muggle, and she doesn't even use magic even in defense. Is there something about magic that she doesn't like? Is it because her husband can't do magic so she does her best to live like he does? It disturbs me that she didn't even want to defend herself from him with his wand. Your portrayal of Cho just makes me want to shake some sense into her.

I hate how this story has ended. From the tone of the last few paragraphs, it seems like Paolo wouldn't keep his promise, and perhaps life would worsen for not only Cho but her baby. Again, a good dose of sense would do her well. The ending, however, isn't definite, thank goodness, so many - just maybe - things turn out all right in the end.

Being the nitpicky person I am, I found a few punctuation mistakes scattered throughout your story, but I won't point them out. They don't distract from the story at all, and a comma out of place won't bring the universe to a grinding halt.

A lovely, well-written story. You deserve the award you received for it (I forgot what it was xD). The wording of Cho's thoughts throughout the story was brilliantly done; everything in this story fit together and flowed so well. Congratulations.

Author's Response: Thank you, Beth! About Cho\'s disconnection from magic, she usually doesn\'t have the heart to use magic against a husband who can\'t. It makes him feel inferior, and Cho doesn\'t like feeling she has more power over him. When she does attempt to use her wand, Paolo smashes it. Thank you for this amaing and well-thought out review!

Interesting take on McGonagall's reaction to Dumbledore's death. I've seen other stories that noted McGonagall's reaction to Dumbledore's death, though I believe this is the first time I've seen her try to hide it (which, now that I think about it, really is a McGonagall-like reaction).

Your opening paragraphs describing the food and McGonagall's actions toward it were brilliant. I can just see the agitation McGonagall was feeling, contrasted with the beauty of the food. (Mmm...potatoes). It's obvious that McGonagall was still struggling to come to terms with Dumbledore's death (which had rendered me to tears).

The crooked yet perfectly preserved picture also added to the grief of this story. I don't know what you had intended to show with the picture, but I had interpreted the picture to be something McGonagall desperately wanted Dumbledore to be: shaken up but in one piece. Something that can be easily corrected.

I also felt pity in seeing McGonagall's endless ways to assure others, and herself, that she was all right, that she wasn't hurting. Of course, after her death, most will look to her for the strength and resilience Dumbledore had shown throughout his life. It only make sense for McGonagall to hide her own pain and provide a beacon for others. I like how we are able to see a hint of the old McGonagall, that even in such a trying time, she can still maintain the character we know and love.

McGonagall's smashing of the dishes was heart-breaking. You leave a lot of the story open for questions, such as what was going on in McGonagall's mind when she grieved and who was Dumbledore to her. I tried to use what you gave me and can only guess what her favorite Dumbledore memory is. Whatever it was, it was powerful enough to cause McGonagall to show such emotion and hurt.

Some technical remarks:

"Daily Prophet should be italicised, and "house-elves" should be hyphenated.

It was piled high with rich, hearty food, untouched but for a few viscous stabs of her fork.

I believe you meant vicious and not viscous, which describes the thickness of fluid.

Reading this story was like reliving the death of Dumbledore all over again. I believe you picked an excellent snippet of McGonagall's experience and centered the story only on her grief. Several stories depict McGonagall going through what it was about Dumbledore that she missed and crying on Harry's shoulder. I rather like seeing her grieve in solitude and leaving, as I said before, everything open for the readers to interpret. Excellently done.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for such a thorough review! I appreciate the critiques and will try to get them fixed when I have a little time! I agree with you that McGonagall does not seem like the kind of person to share her grief with others. I have always liked the idea of people trying to be strong for others and that just seemed to exemplify her character. I\'m glad to know that I didn\'t overdo it or underdo it- I didn\'t want her grief to be a spectacle, but I also didn\'t want to say too little. Anyway, thank you again for the absolutly marvalous review, I really appreciate it!

Wow, it never really occurred to me that there was a story behind how Hermione and Penelope were found Petrified.

You really fit this story snugly into canon. Every minute detail was covered, including the scribble of "pipes" and the mirrors.

The way you characterised Penelope was fantasic. She's very prefect-y but at the same time, she has to believe the logic Hermione offers. That might be the one big difference between Penelope and Percy: Penelope is willing to take advice from those younger and "less experienced."

The one thing about this story that I could think of improving on would be its pace. I think it might have gone too fast because there was more focus on dialogue more than anything else. For example, it would've been good to give us some insight as to what Hermione thought about having a monstrous snake (hee almost typed "Snape") roaming about the corridors. Was she afraid for herself? For other students? Being Muggle-born, how did she come to accept this? I can't check my books to be sure, but I'm sure Hermione hasn't realised that Harry is a Parseltongue before this part of the book. Does she realise it now? If not, how would Hermione explain Harry hearing the snake in the walls but no one else?

Otherwise, I loved it. I can see Hermione and Penelope in the library afraid to really go anywhere. Just from your descriptions, I can envision their reaction as they realise what's going on. Alas, book two might have been quicker if Hermione wasn't caught by the basilisk.

*hugs SPEW buddy*

Sirius and Myrtle would make an interesting pairing, I think. Your portrayal of Myrtle as a lovesick ghost was funny. I had always thought that her behaviour was only teasing; she never seemed to warm up to Harry even after the prefect bathroom scene in GoF. But I can see her infatuated with Sirius Black (since so many other OCs AND real-life people are).

I loved the details you had put in the story, such as the thinning bubbles and Sirius' choice of bubbles (or lack thereof) in the past. They really made the story funnier and Myrtle's reaction more amusing.

The only thing I thought was odd was Sirius' reaction to Myrtle being there after she left. He seemed more put out about his evening being interrupted than the fact that he'd been seen naked so many times by a perverted ghost.

t was uncanny how she did that. Was she following him?

I wanted to see where this train of thought led him. What might he have thought would be the best way to shake her off his tail? What did he make of this admirer?

Author's Response: And, thanks again! :D