I simply loved this piece. Helga/Salazar is actually one of my favorite pairings, I just find that the personalities of Salazar and Helga, based off the house traits, would really seem realistic. And, I'm a fan of 'opposites attract', and what can be more different than a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin? I find that Gryffindors and Slytherins are actually quite similar. Anyways, I'm really glad I found this.
One thing I really liked about the story was the alternations between Helga's memories and reality. You had such a well-developed and detailed plot, and the memories gave you a way to explain the complicated past leading up to the confrontation without having to sustain a long inner monologue. It also let us see different sides of their relationship, and I loved how it started out with the carefree and happy memory, before things went wrong. It provided a way for us to see why Helga loved Salazar, and I think if we hadn't had that first memory their relationship wouldn't have been as believable.
Another thing I loved was how you incorporated the storm into your story; it provided a great undertone. The way you described their relationship as a tempest, both terrifying and exhilerating, as you put it, with Salazar, ever mysterious and changing, in the center, summed up their relationship in one beautiful and simple metaphor. And, for me, that one paragraph really pulled the story together. Great job!
That being said, though, I thought the characterization of Salazar in the different parts slightly conflicted with one another. In the first memory, he was charming and playful, but in the second memory he was a pureblood extremist, defending his views so strongly he severely insulted Helga, whom he loved. I know Salazar was mysterious, always changing, never really emotional, but that was a rather large jump in a short amount of time. Maybe you could go into the backstory behind Salazar's hatred of Muggles, to explain why he felt so strongly against them. I think that would really add to his character.
On the topic of characterization, I thought you captured Helga perfectly. We don't really know much about the founders in canon, but I thought she was the right amount of sweet and patient, as the sorting hat tends to describe her house, but mixed with fiery and rebellious. The way she defied Rowena, who also felt for Salazar, and even the way she was laying in the beginning: very carefree, even though it probably wasn't considered proper or polite for a lady back then. Also, she defended her view even when she knew how Salazar would react, really added a nice mix to create a well-planned and beautiful character. Really excellent job!
But . . .I have to say the ending was my favorite part of the piece. Helga had the courage to swallow (at least some) of her pride and talk to Salazar, even after he left them all (and Hogwarts) behind. I thought their final kiss was perfect and bittersweet, because both of them knew they had lost whatever chance they had to reconcile, that their differences were too big to overcome. It brought closure to the piece, the sad ending of a quite stormy and unpredictable relationship.
Overall, I just loved this piece. As I said before, Helga/Salazar is one of my favorite ships, though it never seems to work out for them. Must have something to do with Salazar creating a Chamber of Secrets then leaving. Anyways, I thought this piece was beautiful, and you did a great job with the piece.
Keep it up!
OMG I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! I always have wanted to know what goes on when Harry's away, and I love how you are doing it. One teensy weird suggestion. . . are there any bold Ravenclaws (excluding Luna) or wrongly placed Slytherins there to join the Resistance? PLEASE SAY THAT GRYFFINDOR DOESN'T GET ALL THE GLORY! I love Gryffindor and wish to be in it with all my heat. . . but I am kind of a smart aleck genius but I think that the other houses need some appreciation. Especially Ravenclaw and Jigglypuff along with the good Slytherins!
Author's Response: Haha, Jigglypuff xD What an awesome name. Yes, there are plenty of bold Ravenclaws in the resistance - JKR herself said that Terry Boot, Michael Corner and Anthony Goldstein were in the second Dumbledore's Army, plus Luna of course. I might invent some more since Ravenclaw is my house as well. :3 Slytherins, I don't know about though. I don't think they would need to be "wrongly placed" in order to want to fight for their school, but JKR seemed to imply that none of them did... However, I take issue with the image of Slytherin as the 'evil' house. I might write in one or two underage helpers who wouldn't have been able to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts anyway X3
Oooooh. . . but what I'm wondering is whether this is after the battle or written Pre-HBP? Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thank you. :)
I'm guessing this is after the battle. . . but still not completely sure. Can you try to clear it up?
Author's Response: Yes, it is definately post-HBP.
I like it. I think you have great style and I want to see where this is going.
Author's Response: Thank you! ~Lexi~
Wow. She actually told them. . . or did she? This will provide a nice twist. I can not wait to see where you take this.
Author's Response: Lol, well I'm glad I have the ability to keep you guessing. I try not to make everything obivious and clear cut. ~Lexi~
Dang it! She should have told them. . . it would make the perpentraters do some interesting things. . . but now I understand the title of the story, and one last thing. . . . CLIFFE!
Author's Response: Yes, the title does cause a bit of confusion until here. But what, may I ask, do you mean by "CLIFFE"? ~Lexi~
Twist. Clever. Still want to know when she tells them. . . I'll just keep reading. Say, is Lestrange the one that killed her, her mum would have been evil enough?
Author's Response: Just keep on reading.... ;)
Cool. She finally told someone. Let's see how the unsub reacts. Maybe it's Cassidy. . . I'll just wait and see.
Wow. Cool twist. . . but this is why it's rated that way, right? Still loving it. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Yes, chapter ten is the sole reason it's rated the way it is. I consulted my beta, Haylee, and we agreed that it'd be better to put it at that rating just to be safe. I'm glad you're loving it. ~Lexi~
Oh my gosh! This is a huge twist. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Author's Response: Lol, I can't wait to see your reaction to the next chapter. Thank you iLuna17. You are why I write. I promise I will try to finish the story for you, and other readers like yourself. b29; ~Lexi~
Cliffe means cliff hanger.
Author's Response: Okay, that's what I thought. I just wasn't sure. ~Lexi~
Wow. I'm liking this. I really hope you keep writing more stories.
Twist. I bet that I'll be seeing more of Rose/Scorpius action, though. Can't wait!
Oh my gosh! In my story I am keeping in my head, Luna and Neville are married, too! And, they have a daughter named Alice! And. . . a Malfoy, in Gryffindor? That idea seems popular, though.
I'm liking this now. I should have known that Albus wouldn't be good at potions.
I like the twist. My guess is that we'll see a little more Bernard soon. Keep it up!
Twist! What will happen to Rose? I guess I'll have to just read and find out, right?
I like this. Is Highland prison the same as azkaban?
Author's Response: Thank you. No, it's not. It's sort of an intermediate level of prison, in which those who are either not guilty of extremely serious charges or can't be proven guilty are held. Probably the best comparison points I can give you are that a) it isn't on some godforsaken island in the North Sea, it's in Scotland; b) it doesn't have Dementors teeming all over it, but only a few for emergency purposes; and c) it isn't around in Harry's day, whereas Azkaban most certainly is. Thank you for the review!
Author's Response: Thank you!