I first came upon this story because I watched Howard's End today, with the actress who played Bellatrix in HP. Then I remembered you'd written seven Bellatrix fics, so I thought I should investigate and see what you had! I liked your drabbles - the relationship you've developed already between Bellatrix and her husband-to-be seems very in character, but definitely deeper than what we get to see in canon.

Now, to the story. The beginning is very attention-capturing, and in a very unusual way. (I say that a lot, but I'm positive this time. Unique. I promise.) A poem/lyric and a dramatic declaration of hate?! Daring, let me tell you.

The way you helped cool Bellatrix's reactions by Rodolphus's more easygoing temperament is interesting. However, it was much softer than the mirror... Lines like this were evidence, almost, of how good they are for each other, even though Bellatrix seems to be frustrated by their relationship sometimes. I still like that you've made her frustration part of who she is.

She ignored everything her mother said, and it was probably for the best. That's a nice little added fact, too. Bellatrix does seem like the sort who wouldn't want to agree with anyone, especially people trying to tell her how to live.

Gracious, and she's unrelenting during her conversation with her sister. Another good little snippet of Bella.

“You really don’t understand women, do you big brother?” You need a comma after 'do you' and before 'big brother'.

“Well, I have a fiancé...." Fiancée has two 'e's when it's referring to a woman. Kind of like blonde/blond.

I'd like to compliment you on your crafty semicolon at the beginning of the dress-robes part. Yay.

Standing inside the shop, chatting with his brother was Rodolphus Lestrange. You need a comma after 'brother' to separate that middle clause.

you are to present a good image to the world I like this little taste of Black/pureblood belief. It seems odd that she would refer to the whole world, though. Maybe 'to society' or 'to the Wizarding World' even?

Poor Bella and her temper. That little introspective part is very nice - Bellatrix doesn't want people to know what she's feeling, especially since her more intense reactions seem to be obvious anyway.

Narcissa/Rabastan is very precious, even if it was only a moment and only a brief, formally pureblood encounter. It was a brilliant addition on your part.

A loud knock at the door caused Bella to look away from the book she had been pretending to read. This sentence is in passive voice, which is fine sometimes but doesn't accurately capture the mood of this particular thought. Maybe you could say 'Bella looked up from the book she was pretending to read when a loud knock sounded on the door' or 'A loud knock sounded on the door, and Bella glanced up...' or you could even add another crafty semicolon. That's just to avoid awkwardness, really.

It was nine a.m. in the morning You only need one: a.m. or morning. I'd recommend morning. ('It was nine in the morning')

It's precious that she can't help but smile when she sees him. It's evidence of a younger and more innocent Bella, almost.

I did really like this story. It was sweet and light while still giving us a taste of Bellatrix's dark, temperamental side. You're so talented! Wonderful job on this.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I\'m glad you liked the story and thank you for pointing out some errors. *hugs*

I have a story that takes place at the same time as this one, so I was curious about your take and wanted to come review.

The way you start the story, with Lily simply knowing what was about to happen, was interesting. And terrible, of course. That would be unimaginably terrifying, I think.

Tall, strong, and brave, she trusted him more than anything in the world. This makes it sound like it's Lily who's tall, strong and brave. Maybe you could say 'Tall, strong, and brave, James had earned her trust more completely than anyone else in the world.'

The way James repeats Lily's name over and over, trying to get her to listen or trying to memorize her name before he'll never get to say it again, shows how desperate he is to save her. That, I think, is the saddest part - and then Lily probably makes it harder by pleading with him. So sad.

When Lily almost leaves, changes her mind, and so is there to see James die, that's just horrible. Impossible. And yet the way it had to be, with them dying together.

The shock of what she had just heard — the wooshing of life out of her husband — had numbed her to no extent. The word 'whooshing' seems very informal here, and 'to no extent' means 'not at all.' Maybe you could try: 'The shock of what she had just heard -- the life leaving her husband -- had numbed her completely.'

The visuals when Voldemort comes up the stairs, with Lily trying to shut the door, clinging to Harry, are perfect. What I think you could add that would make the ensuing dialogue even more effective is how Lily feels when asked to hand over her son. You have her numbness down excellently, but the thoughts she actually thinks about Harry himself aren't there at the beginning of her pleading. I would love to hear about that, too, hear the reason she gave her life for him, you know?

Oh, dear. We always know how this has to end, but it's hard every time. You did a lovely job incorporating all the backstory, the reason they were separated at the end, the reason neither got away. Thank you for sharing this story!