Hello Julia!

I can't say I get to read stories about Petunia very often, so when Carole suggested I read this, I was intrigued to see how you'd handle her. To make someone who gets such a harsh portrayal in canon understandable and even relatable seems like a hard task, but I think you pulled it off masterfully. There were so many little details that contributed to her character, which was very recognisably the Petunia we see in canon, and they all came together beautifully to make her real.

First, however, your gorgeous prose. For a story so full of the mundane, the Muggle, this had a lot of sparkle. A favourite phrase of mine came in the park, when Petunia feels Remus watching, with an “awkward, watchful sense that smells like a train station”, because of course she would associate discomfort with watching Lily leave her behind, year after year. So many little things come back to Lily, and it really helps me understand Petunia. I loved the jumbling of senses in that line, too, because it made me think that Petunia didn't really want that memory. If she could forget Lily, perhaps she would.

The other thing I really liked in terms of how you wrote this was all of the contrasts you created. In the opening, it's between Petunia's words and her true feelings. Then it's between Remus and Petunia, going from rosewater and baking soda to a cigarette and battered corduroy. There's Petunia's theory about Remus having his own child running around the playground, and what I know to be the reality of his life. The boy with “dark, lank hair” and Lily, “brilliant, gold and glowing”, Remus's memory of Lily and the reality of Petunia: each fresh juxtaposition is painful. With the way you write, I can't forget the pain behind the mundane facts of Petunia's life, the ordinariness she seeks.

And of course Petunia strives to be ordinary. That's the very first thing we see about the Dursleys in canon, that they are absolutely set on being normal. Now, however, I really felt I could understand why. Her obsessions with keeping up appearances - the rose water, the white lace handkerchief - seems to be because on the inside, she can't get rid of her connection to abnormality. Lily and Sev always seem to be in her mind, and seeking suburban perfection seems to be how she fights that. I've never really found myself able to get into her head this much. You've written her so well.

Remus, too, seemed so himself, despite the brevity of his appearances. The quiet, unobtrusiveness, how he vanishes so subtly, smiles so softly - it couldn't be anyone else, even though he's not named. All the little details about his appearance built up to it, but it was when he interacted with Petunia that I really felt his personality come through. The “sad disappointment” in his voice is something I imagine would often be felt there. The weight of his grief felt enormous, to the point that I wanted to run over and hug him. He felt real.

An important thing for me is how you structured your plot. Bringing the story full circle, back to Petunia alone, thinking of neighbours and roses - that's the essence of it all. Petunia will never be drawn out of her pursuit of perfection, how ever Remus makes her feel. All the events of your plot are irrelevant when she's going to ensure that it comes full circle, back to where she started. The sadness will go on being ignored. I'm not entirely sure how to feel about that, but that's life, I suppose, and you made this story feel so true to life.

I'm glad you addressed the issue of what Remus did before Harry's third year. I'm glad you wrote about Petunia, too. I was glad to understand her further, and even if I can never truly like her, I very much pity her now. I adored this story, lingering sense of sadness and all, to the point that I can't quite find the words to express myself. Well done indeed.

~Sophie

Author's Response: It's always so hard to explain why I am interested in the Dursleys, and by extension all of the non-magical characters in the series. Probably because I don't quite know, myself. I think perhaps it's linked to the fact that they are the very first characters we encounter when reading the series, and that conviction and earnestness in the Dursleys to be 'normal' is so striking. It can be easy to play them off as silly, but I feel like that's doing a disservice to JKR and the way she moulds her characters. As you say, we see in the Dursleys, specifically Petunia, such ambition to fit in, and that's fairly representative of a lot of people in society. Most of us, in fact. And perhaps that's another reason why I'm so intrigued by them in fanfiction, because we don't often get to explore that need for 'normality' in the Potterverse, and in reality, I generally dislike that Keeping Up With The Joneses mentality. It was great trying to get into Petunia's head, because I only had to look over my fence to watch my neighbours buying boats and TVs and updating their cars to keep up with everyone else. People often refer to the Dursleys as caricatures, but in ways they are as grounded in reality as every other character in the series, because people in real life who strive to keep up and fit in behave like caricatures themselves. So, after this long ramble, I'm really glad you felt like my portrayal of Petunia was written well. I didn't want to write a caricature, but someone who is part of our world and not just the Potterverse.

In contrast, we have Remus! It was necessary to have a character that is the opposite of Petunia, to show how drawn she is towards what is "abnormal" despite her efforts to avoid anything strange at all costs. Remus, unlike Petunia, has never fit in. He's an outcast from both worlds, magical and Muggle. I love contrasting imagery and themes, so it was lovely to read about how you appreciated them, as well. Like the Dursleys, I've always been intrigued by what Remus did during those lost years and so it was a lot fun coming up with this backstory.

Thank you so much, Sophie, for this lovely review. My jaw dropped like a cartoon character when I saw it waiting for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I apologise for going on a bit in my reply, but it's a lot of fun being able to discuss characters that we rarely get to talk about. Thanks again :)

Julia x

Hey Minna!

I'm not entirely sure how to begin this review, as I'm still reeling from the intensity of your poem. It's not often that I read something which gives me a such a deep, persnal insight into a relationship, and especially not with such gorgeous imagery. It was an absolute delight.

The first thing I'd like to address is the technical excellence of this. I mean, all of those images of the sea were so inventive. I particularly liked “eyes like sunlight in deep waters” because I can picture the gleam in deep blue eyes so perfectly from it. It's vivid and sharp and strong and so full of love. And the mix of first and second person worked really well for me, too. Moving back and forth between the two characters so directly again strengthened my sense of their relationship – really lovely.

Another technical detail I really liked was all of the questions. It gave me this sense of wonderment, almost of awe, which spoke of absolute love in the most moving way. What added to this for me is that, although you didn't use a particularly regular rhythm/rhyme, everything flowed really well. It read very smoothly, with an almost lyrical feeling. In particular, the line “broken is discarded is changed is beautiful” worked really well because it tripped off my tongue so easily. It was kind of like a stream of thoughts, full of rapturous loveliness.

I said before that this was really intense, and I think a large part of that was all of the sensory description you used. The colours of the beach, the taste of salt, the sound of the sheets, the heat: I actually was on the beach outside Shell Cottage with them, and then inside too. I loved how the characters were connected to the place, how they fitted into their surrounding exactly. Linking their relationship to the nature around them made me all the more convinced by it.

I assumed that Bill was narrating this. Without a mention of genders either way, I wasn't 100% sure, but the blue eyes made me think of Fleur, and I thought Bill was the one most likely to be described as “hollow”, and “beaten and scraped”. That's the thing, though; not knowing really didn't bother me. I thought it could work either way, and I really liked that thought. They both love each other with this absolute intensity, and, whoever is speaking, their relationship seemed really intimate. That's why I liked your choice to use the crook of the elbow. It was unexpected, and unexpectedly intimate. The subtlety of it was great, too. I mean, you could tell exactly what was going on at that time without the need for you to outright describe it.

In terms of character, I really liked the way Bill (I'm going to carry on with that assumption) seemed to depend on Fleur, judging by your last line, and the suggestion earlier on that she made him new. It made me think of their older man/younger woman dynamic, and about how much he would have needed her support after the war. His sense of awe, too, fitted in just right with how I imagine her Veela side might affect him. It's not why he loves her, but sometimes it really intensifies things. The idea of her being “born of seafoam” was a lovely image for her otherness, her other heritage that is always somewhat mysterious.

I could go on and on about this poem. It has so much depth (no pun intended) and intensity, so many layers which I could be drawn into. If nothing else, it reads absolutely beautifully, without any need for analysis, which for me is very important in poetry. Fabulous job!

~Sophie

Hey Natalie :)

When I'm in the mood to read poetry on MNFF, you're one of the authors I tend to turn to, as I know I can count on you to produce consistently high-quality poems. This one, of course, lived up to my expectations brilliantly.

I suppose the most important aspect of this poem is your characterisation of Minerva. I've not really thought about how she would have felt during the battle – I'm generally more concerned for her students – but I was really convinced by your interpretation. Her sharpness and wit and strength fit in so much better with the idea of her being bird-like than with the constant cat comparisons; she felt absolutely herself when you described her as an eagle.

Then there was the idea of her turning back into a witch after the Battle. I found that kind of upsetting, knowing of all the horrors she must have witnessed and understanding how flat she must feel after all of the adrenaline had worn off. It's like she came alive in the pressure and fear of battle, but afterwards, it all feels like a dream and she comes crashing back to reality. When I think of it like that, I just want to go and hug her! The line about “an ageing witch” made me painfully aware of her frailty, her humanity, something which I find easy to forget about when seeing her from the point of view of her students. I really liked that you made me consider her from a new angle, and in so much more depth than before.

Technically, the poem was, of course, flawless. I very much liked the free structure you used; I suppose it fits with the chaos of battle, the uncertainty and fear. Within that, you used so many smaller patterns though, which I found really drew me in. I particularly liked the last stanza, with the repeated structure of “from … to … ”. It made me think of how everything is starting afresh, but also somehow going back to normal with the mundane idea of “a witch with a staff”. I thought that was a really lovely image, to see things healing, both for Minerva and for the school.

Another thing I really appreciated was the gorgeous sound of this poem. It was subtly done, I thought, helped by the non-standard structure, but when I read it aloud, I couldn't help but smile at the sound. A favourite line of mine, phonoogically, was “a flick of the wrist, a stab of the hand,” with the two different bits of assonance. And then there were things like the sort of rhyme in “from moth to light, / from flight to feet” – my inner poetry geek is delighted by little things like that!

Overall, while this poem made me really rather sad to read, I took a lot of pleasure from it, from the idea of Hogwarts being rebuilt and from how well written it was. I just wish I could make everything easier for Minerva now!

~Sophie

Author's Response: Heyyyy!