Right, I did as you suggested but I must say that I was more comfortable "hanging" after chapter 12 than after chapter 14 - GRRR! I don't know what Chris was expecting there? Beautiful description of his "view", anyway. Right, I know I shouldn't nag you for more chapters, I'd just like to let you know that you've got major mental support from Sweden. (And then there is always my crumple-horned snorkack that I could send after you if chapter 15 takes too long!) ;) Rock on.
Right, Bella, I'm up to date with your chapters on MNFF now, and I'm going to start by saying that I've really enjoyed your story so far (and I highly suspect I'm going to enjoy the rest of it, too). I love your writing and your descriptions are just spot on, not too little to give a weak imaginary world and not too much to disturb your story. You're really great at writing emotions and the various lovescenes, they're just right without being embarassing or cliché. The thing I personally like best is that you chose to write a post-Hogwarts, I've always liked them best because they let talanted authors (like yourself) stay true to the original characters and still play around with their own ideas. I especially like how you write Ron, he has indeed matured a bit but is still his stupid, sweet old self who doesn't think before he speaks. Nice dialouges as well. So, what can I say? I just wonder why the hell he actually did broke up with Hermione that day? Hm, I suppose the upcoming chapters will show. Now, I'm going to try and resist reading further chapters on other sites. :) All the best, /Fantasium
Author's Response: I'm so glad you are enjoying the story; your kind words really made my day a whole lot better (especially considering the day I've had.) Anyway, I would highly suggest to you, and all of my other readers, to try and read the story on another site, such as checkmated.com (my personal fav). I don't know why, but I posted a chapter about a month ago and it still has yet to be approved by a mod. I know they are busy, but this is a little ridiculous, you know?
Anyway, go to checkmated.com, read my story, and follow it there. I promise you that you won't be disappointed.
And thanks for the support!!
My dear Ashwinder, I think there's been a huge mistake here - your story has a major fault. It's NOT supposed to be in the cathegory of Romance Fics, it's supposed to be in the Totally Marvelous Fics Section - I do wonder why Mugglenet Fanfiction haven't added that one yet. I should of course have reviewed earlier, I should have done so after every amazing chapter, but I was busy reading. The end of the story makes me sad, with Gin and Harry not having their powers back. But on the other hand - I think all great stories leave you feeling sad. It's partly the story itself but mostly, I think, the fact that there's no more to read - I'm back in the Real World again, desperate for another story to get lost in but at that moment, I don't want anything but the one I just finished. I'm saying it again - this is bloody brilliant and I enjoyed every sentence of it. Thank you so much for sharing it!
Your story is very touching... I'm normally quite emotional when reading "real" books, but I've never been close to crying from a fanfic before. Sirius was, and is, my very favourte character - I miss him horribly. You write so well, the right little words in the right places, to make something extraordinary. I'll follow your story to the end! :)
Ooooh - most excellent!!! Is it really a portrait, I wonder? Like other portraits in the wizarding world, or is it more to this one? You better get next chapter up quickly, because this is exciting! (Could be because Sirius is my favourite character and I miss him horribly in all the FFs I read). Well done!
:) Ron is rocking! No, seriously, the poor chap is trying, isn't he? Anyway, I just read chapter 23, and I'll probably check if chapter 24 has appeared tonight - about ten times or so, can't wait for more! Brilliant stuff, keep it coming!
Excellent chapter! Well written, nice dialouge, etc. Love the bit about Hermione not telling her parents, and the sweet argument about the surnames in the end. Keep it coming! :D
Excellent! I love the way this story is coming on, the Harry/Katie relationship is beautiful, one of the most convincing in all the HP FFs I've read. I'm looking forward to next chapter! :)
I so love this story, as I think (and certainly hope) I've told you before in my reviews. I hate the fact that Ginny had to die, but in one way you were very clever about it... I daresay she was even closer to Harry than Sirius, and if Harry "had to" loose someone to get his arse in gear to go for the final fight with Voldemort - (some people are going to hate me now) - better Ginny than Katie. Anyway, I would of course like that really long A/N, could you please send it? (I suspect you can send through Mugglenet, if not I'll notice and give you my e-mail address later). Thanks again for sharing your AMAZING story with us, and I promise you I'll be hanging around for that sequel! /Fantasium
Just wanted to take a minute to tell you that I've really enjoyed your story so far. I wish that Mugglenet Fanfiction would let you submit more than one chapter at once - I keep checking your story through favourites about five times a day! ;) Anyway, keep up the brilliant work and thanks for sharing your work!
Been following your story for a while, and I absolutely love it. The christmas weekend was horrible - so many days without new chapters! :) But now it doesn't feel too bad, when I've just read three of them. I loved Arthur's letter to Harry, it's hard to write something like that without overdoing it, but you've done it so well! Keep up the good work!
Bad you! Taking away both of Harry's girls - well, the two I see as his girls, anyway. I guess you had a reason to, I just can't see it right now... Damn, I'm close to tears here. Please post more chapters soon - and they better have something positive for Harry in them! /A very sad Fantasium
He-hee, this is where I step on the brake again. Bad habit of mine, this quick reading. Not that it’s solely my fault – if the story wasn’t so captivating... I can honestly say I’ve pushed that idea with the teasing one-shots to the side by now, and it’s the chapters alone that have got me hooked.
I’ve already mentioned enjoying your style, but oh, dear Merlin, I love the humorous part of your writing! From this chapter, the whole scene with Luna floating in to the compartment, from when she almost sat on Harry, until she kissed his cheek and left, was just perfect. This impresses me so much, because humour (well, along with a lot of other things) is what I cannot write myself. An opportunity might pop up very rarely when I try to work, but you can keep it going for chapters and paragraphs without going over the top at all. Not only do I grin a little – I actually laugh. I just have to throw in a favourite quote: ‘ “O, the hilarity!” laughed Ron. “Ha ha. She’ll settle for you!” ’ - most entertaining. :)
And grrr, why must brilliant writers keep doing this to me? Aswhinder, Maeve, and yourself – it’s really rather difficult to keep my secret Harry/Ginny shipper self, well, secret the way you go about. No, seriously, I normally enjoy reading this relationship more in General than Romance fics, where it will only serve as part of something bigger. I think you’ve got it on a very nice level here, nothing disturbing but still a good treat for readers in general and shippers *looking innocent* in particular. Bonus for not just skipping past the Dean thing, as I’ve seen too many authors do.
I think you’ve got such an intelligent and thought-through approach on the brain issue, very original and believable. We know from canon that Ron has these problems, and it adds further to your already very nice characterization when you spin the brain matter along that line.
As I’ve somehow babbled my way onto the characters, let’s go there. I think you captivated Ron so nicely in one single sentence: ‘ He obviously enjoyed knowing what was going on, but still had no clue.’. I’m not a member of the group who dislikes Ron, but even less of the people who put him down as overly intelligent. You’ve given us a nice excuse for him to connect with his emotions a little, but still you keep most of his old self. All very well and dandy! :)
Ginny – I mentioned in the last review that I like how you write her, and that liking has only increased. There was one line of dialogue that was just spot on to me: ‘ “Like we’d risk your displeasure,” smiled Ginny.’. Clearly, simply – Ginny.
I see that you’ve got a sort of ‘sharper’ Mrs Weasley than many other fanfiction writers. I don’t really have a preference here, but ‘your Molly’ certainly serves her purpose with the way you’ve chosen to portrait the teenagers, and that’s what’s important to me when reading. I certainly like how she’s taking to Hermione as a potential daughter in law, and how she was diverted by Ginny’s girl stuff. And oh, I really like the idea that she goes ‘mushy’ over Ginny’s boyfriends, instead of being over-protective and meddling as in so many other fanfics.
And Malfoy Senior is out of the picture… at the moment? (And this is becoming really rather worrying; I found myself wondering what Jenna thought of you killing him off so unceremoniously…) I’ll be interested to learn more about the circumstances around his death.
Well, to be a bit more useful one of a reviewer – things are moving forwards so nicely, you’ve got my mind on edge wondering how the plot will twist and turn. And now I’ve definitely been reviewing for too long, when I could have spent that time reading!.
Right. Having no control of myself I’ve raced and read right through to chapter nine almost in one go, without leaving as much as a line of a review. Bad me. But now I’ve managed to stop myself, and I will try to put something together.
First of all, this is not my first attempt to read your sixth year story, I’ve read chapter one a couple of times before, but I my mind was already confused by three stories around Harry’s sixth year that I was already reading, so I left yours for the future. I will not lie about what brought me here now. I’ve heard such nice things said about your OC, that I of course want to read her. But I decided that I wasn’t going to cheat and jump straight to the one-shots, but read Harry’s Sixth Year first. And my, am I glad I made that decision!
It’s obviously interesting to be reading this story after having read HBP, plus the fact that I’ve begun my actual reading after this story is completed. Every chapter has already got several reviews, most of which are pointing out things I might have done myself if the story was a WIP. So, at this point I will try not to point out the same things as many others, which will probably lead to me being a little more general.
First of all, your writing style. For the first two chapters, I was a little lost. I’m normally a sucker for long, very detailed chapters like the ones Magical Maeve delivers, and I had an undefined feeling that something was missing. But right about where Harry walks downstairs and lets go of his very amusing line, ‘ “Well, I decided to move into the kitchen, you see-” ’, I had become very comfortable with your way of writing. I’m almost surprised how much I like it, and it’s nice to finally see evidence of what people and textbook says – that being economical with the words often serves a story better than over-detailing or over-describing things.
I would normally like slightly longer chapters (otherwise I’ll just run through to chapter nine in my delight, ehrm...), but at the same time I don’t know if I’ve ever read another fanfiction writer who makes things move so effectively and still with a pleasant flow. This must be a huge advantage for you when moving the plot forward. Also, your style reminds me of JKR’s in the earlier books, which is very nice to see. Well done!
I want to bring up the matter of you re-telling us things that people are ‘supposed to know’ from the books, like ‘Sirius died in a dueling battle with a Death Eater, a follower of Voldemort.’, that I’ve seen other’s not being so happy about. Myself, I haven’t got a problem with it. I don’t need the lines myself (constantly re-reading some book in the series, after all), but I think they serve as nice foundation and background information to the, eh, less obsessive fanfiction readers who might need reminders. It also shows that you know what you’re doing, and gives a very complete feeling to the story. Plus, I expect the reminders will lessen and then completely go away, as the story proceeds.
I’m happy with Harry. I’ve obviously read HBP (only three times, ahem), and the mature young man who met us there was a pleasant surprise for me. I expected him to be much more of what you’re showing us here, and therefore he seems very real despite the fact your story has now become AU. I’m going to enjoy seeing what you make of ‘your Harry’ through this story.
Apart from Harry, the characters I’m most impressed with at the moment are the twins, Moody and Ginny. Ginny does tease Ron, but I thought some of her behaviours in HBP were right down evil, and even if I’ve come to terms with and explained that to myself, it’s still nice to be able to escape to fanfiction and see a ‘nicer’ version of her.
All in all, the story feels very solid so far, and to use simple words – it’s good, and I like it!
Right, I have finally caught up with your chapters (and are now amongst the crowd eagerly waiting for more!) and feel ready for my first review. What can I say? This has turned out to be a great story. The only major thing that bothers me is that Harry isn't more upset about losing Sirius. I know that Kevin probably is a good substitute, but it shouldn't be the same. Talking about Kevin, I really like your own characters, they blend in very well with JKR's. And the dogs! This is a true dog-maniac reviewing - I currently live and work with... *counting on my fingers*... 27 dogs! I'm just a bit disappointed that there wasn't a border collie in the group since that's "my" breed. Right, as for Harry and Ginny, I generally like them as a couple. To me it's fairly obvious that we're going to see Ron and Hermione together in the actual books and I cross my fingers for Harry and Ginny. Good of you to make their "getting together" a bit more original than most people do, and to include a closure with Cho. Right, I'm going to stop writing now and wait (although impatiently) for your next excellent chapter. I'm proud to have joined your pack of pets. ;)
Finally!
I've been checking for new chapters every day since I found your story and read the three first chapters. I'm glad to see that the story is still as good, superb even. I love the way you picture Sirius. Now when I've done my part, I'll hold you to the promise of more chapters! ;)
Author's Response: Wow! I don't know what to say . . . thank you for reading and I hope not to let you down!
Oooh, this is the best so far! I absolutely love this chapter! Especially the end of it (except for the fact that it was the end, making me long for another chapter!), the two little words "Me too". Excellent! And don't even think about stop writing this story - it's the best on this site, I wouldn't know where to go. (Just a little bit addicted, as you can see). Thanks again for sharing your story with us.
/Fantasium
Author's Response: I really liked the ending too . . . I thought it was rather moving. :-) Thanks for reading so faithfully!
Oh, another chapter! Well written as ever, and all of Marin's emotions and reactions seemed very realistic to me. But this chapter also made me veeery impatient for the next one, where I hope to see some more Sirius/Marin interaction - I think that's what you do best, including portraiting Sirius.
Author's Response: I thought she seemed pretty convincing . . . I think it's how I would have reacted . . . I've got at least three more chapters written; it took forever to get that last chapter posted because of errors on my part . . . so hopefully the next chapter will be added soon!
I really like this story so far! Obviously you like Sirius, and your info says you like puppies - guess what, I happen to have a puppy called Sirius! He's actually not named after Sirius Black, but after the actual Dog Star, which I first read about in D.W. Jones' "Dogsbody".
Anyway... I can't understand why this story hasn't got more stars - I think it's great and I'll keep checking for updates!
Author's Response: You are so very kind, thank you for that wonderful review. I do like Sirius, this is true. I have a black lab named Toby, I got him long before I learned of Harry Potter and Sirius. However, I have every intention of naming a future black dog of mine Sirius. ALSO, just a little fact for fun, one of the XM radio programs (in America) is called Sirius and their emblem is a little black dog . . .
Excellent! Another chapter to enlight my Sunday morning here in England. And I surely did enjoy it, especially the more extensive description of Marin's looks and their dialouge during "therapy". :) And you now you can't stop writing on the story - Fantasium would have a major brakedown! ;) Anyway, well written and keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Oooh, from England ? Awesome! I'm hopefully studying abroad there next fall . . . Went there when I was 16 and fell in love . . . ANYWAYS, thank you very much for your continued support. I do hope that there will be no breakdown, drink plenty of water and get some sleep ;-)