I hate it! I hate it! *wiping my eyes again* But oh, I love it. I love "your" Fred and George, they are so typical and adorable (never thought I'd use that word about them, but there you are). All the speeches were very good, but especially their. The two words "killed Bill" brought a flash of a very cool Uma Thurman through my head as well! :) I wish I was better at drawing too, but if you find me some good models for Harry and Katie I'll photograph them any time! Right, better leave you in peace so you can contiune writing on your fab story now! /Fantasium
Author's Response: kill bill! yay - i kept thinking that, too. lol. thanks for the lovely lengthy review again, hun ;)
I feel so bad about the way I’ve been neglecting this chapter, but I shall try to make up for it with this review.
First of all, it’s been a while since I read this. In fact, now that I come to think of it, it’s been a while since I read anything by you! But when re-reading this chapter, I find myself nodding knowingly, recognising your style in all of it, and smiling. I’ve never been able to put my finger on it precisely, but there is something about the seamlessness of dialogue, thoughts and actions that always gets to me when I read something by you. I never have to stop to think, read a sentence again or ever wonder what’s going on, because you guide me so carefully through the scenes. It’s not so much reading, it’s more the story acting out in my mind. Like, if I look at this sentence:
He noticed Katie’s eyes lingering on him with concern in the midst of her trying to pay attention to Hermione, but she let him be.
- It’s nothing major, perhaps, just something to give the attentive reader even more information about Harry’s and Katie’s relationship, but I still see the image in my head; her eyes on him, her listening to Hermione, and the awareness without words. It puts me closer to the characters, somehow.
Harry would never return as a student, he would never again catch the Snitch for Gryffindor, nor would he sit with Ron and Hermione in their favourite set of armchairs, warmed by the common room fire. He would never again sit at his house table with a plentiful feast before him, waiting to see the twinkle in the blue eyes of Albus Dumbledore as he spoke to them from his place at the centre of the staff table.
- Oh, Jenna, you’re breaking my heart. It’s such an emotional piece, but that’s only partly why I chose to quote it. Most authors must, at some point, try to deal with feelings similar to these - or perhaps not similar to these in nature, but similar in intensity. Some writers can do it, while others seem to struggle with the words. But you always manage to find the right words, somehow. And you do it without being blunt; I’m sitting here, reading your chapter, and before I know it my heart is aching. I don’t exactly know how you do it, but you do it darn well.
There’s humour too, of course:
“Oh, and I expect after you run off and kill Voldemort, you can sit back and live a hero’s life while I go to work every day?” Katie pointed out, her eyebrow arched threateningly.
- I love all of your chapters, but ones with Harry/Katie dynamics in them like this one are still my favourites. I can fully understand that Harry has got a bit of a problem focusing on the future after fighting Voldemort, so I’m glad you’ve got Katie there to remind him. You’ve shown us before how sensible and steady she can be, and it’s wonderful to see how you reinforce that. Also, through this line, you manage to connect not only the fic, but the part of Potterverse you’re acting in, to some kind of… normality, and that makes it so real.
“And I’ll go, too,” Hermione said, then added quietly, “Do you — um… do you think her brother will be there? Liam, isn’t it?”
- LMAO! Jenna, you’re unbelievable! Way to show us a healthy human and horny side of Hermione! But I can’t blame her, of course. I still ship Ron/Hermione in Blood Debt, and I’m hoping they’ll get back together before the end, but Hermione sure needs to get some fun until then, and as she does, well, I can’t think of a better choice for her, really. Hee.
There’s lots of Siobhan goodness in this chapter too, but I’m finding that I’m beginning to have a problem commenting on her; she’s too real for it to be entirely comfortable. But, being the reviewer I am, I shall still try. I was actually surprised when I re-read this, because up until now I haven’t really felt that much for the whole Ron/Siobhan thing. Yes, sure, it’s hot, but I didn’t see a way it could last. Or more correctly, there wasn’t a part of me hoping it would last. There still isn’t, really, but now I found that I really liked the thought of them enjoying each other’s company. I’m not so sure about Mar’s ship’s name, Flickering Sparks, I think something like Comfort would be better, actually.
They found it, but not in a painting or a doorway — in Ron and Siobhan, who were pressed up against the wall, their lips locked.
- On the one hand, that line is seriously hot. But on the other hand, I’ve got a personal problem with it. In my world, there is only one man who should be pressing Siobhan up against a wall, and we both know that’s not Ron…
…which leads me on to further thoughts about dear Siobhan. *small sigh* I was really touched, you know, by her words about her life. She’s in the midst of it all, yet she has such a distance to it, such clear and, in a way, rational thoughts about it. I used to wish that there would be another man for her, a perfect someone sprung from nowhere to give her a “normal” life. But now, maybe thanks to her dealings with Ron, I’ve stopped wishing for that. I don’t think she could ever be entirely happy with someone else than the man she loves, and I’m selfishly hoping that she can’t – I would be so sad to see her with another person, because she belongs with him.
As for things to correct in this chapter, there were some minor formatting mistakes, but I don’t think you’re interested in me listing them here. I found a missing word, though: Liam just curtly and continued eating. - there should be a “nodded” there, right?
You didn’t think I was done yet, did you? Good, because now I’m coming to the most interesting part of the chapter – Harry’s feelings for Katie and Siobhan. See, one of the things I love most about Blood Debt-Harry is his belief in true love. He’s so adorable with his devotion to Katie, but I think I have realised now how you managed to keep the sweet, monogamous Harry from being all cheesy and cliché. It seems to me that your Harry never had a great interest in many women to begin with, but there is also a somewhat naïve touch to his thoughts and behaviour. On the surface, this chapter is interesting because of the strong feelings and words that cause Katie to leave, but deeper down, I think you’re writing such a major change in Harry. Perhaps for the first time, he realises it himself – he is attracted to Siobhan. (Stop squeeing, Cult members!) And with that realisation, a bit of the innocent Harry dies; it makes way for torn feelings and a fresh guilt, all of it turning him into a slightly different person. And this is where it gets interesting, and important, to me. Up until now, Harry has been loyal and devoted to Katie because he thought she was the only one. Now he has realised that if Katie had never been, he might still have had someone. So, when he returns to her (which I know that he will, don’t give me that look suggesting he won’t!), their relationship will mean even more to me, with Katie no longer being the only woman, but the woman of his choice. (Take that, Culters! *giggles*)
Great work, my love. I can’t wait for chapter thirty-eight. But until then, I think I need a good re-read of some extra special H/K goodness. ;)
Author's Response: It\'s always impossible to respond to your reviews, because you leave me with nothing to say, so I just sit her smiling and thinking \'she has it all spot on!\'. :) Thank you for giving me my Muse, thought *wink*
For the first time, I think I might be fearing for your mental health. Boring? I think not, and in an attempt to prove you wrong, I have made a list:
1. Hermione. As brilliant as in the last chapter, almost scarily in character with her composed self after… well, the unfortunate turn of things. I was more than moved by the tiny pause in this sentence: ‘ We’re both just taking a breather, while we get used to… being apart.’ - it had my heart crying. Still, not everything is horribly wrong, and the brain bit of me is beyond curious of her Slytherin Halloween date – you wouldn’t be going Zabini, would you? Nah, I’m not sure if that’s original enough. ;)
2. Harry. What did I tell you, he’d be victorious! :D No, but he’s moving around the castle and the other characters with such… well, confidence perhaps, something clearly shows he’s a 7th-year-student now. And he was amazing during the Quidditch match, good thoughts and emotion through it. He’d better do something foolish, stupid or even some brooding soon, otherwise I’ll have to join Katie (and yourself?) in the ‘We who want to marry Harry’-queue.
3. Siobhan. Now we know she can keep her secrets, all right. I have to wonder, of course, what other secrets she’s not even hinting. Anyway, very cool of her to keep the Seeker bit away from Harry, especially since you even told us they had been spending even more time together. ‘ Damn you, Potter.’ - Well placed, stuck a huge grin on my face. Her dialogue is better put together with the person than maybe any other OC (or just C) I’ve come across in HP fanfiction. Wasn’t it for Katie, I’d be very tempted to support a Harry/Siobhan match. >:)
4. Quidditch. Now, listen to Anna, it’s neither stupid nor boring. I can see what you mean, you’ve had a few games in your stories by now, but believe me there’s nothing repetitive or dull about them. Not even the fact that Harry catches the Snitch. To me, this had tension, action and humour. The long and fast final ‘pursuit of the Snitch’ was dramatic and I wouldn’t have changed any of it. But before I move on, only one question: How did Harry know, before the match, that this would be the last time he played Slytherin? Couldn’t they be playing each other in the Final?
5. Expectations. You’re not leaving your readers in much of a peace, are you? It feels good that Chapter 22 might not be too far away, with all that you’ve build up for us to long for and be curious about. Very clever way of keeping your readers. (Not that you could chase me away with a pickaxe, of course.)
6. Perfection. Do you know what the only mistake I could find was? Somewhere close to the end, in the sentence ‘…– just the fact that she was going with someone unsettle him.’ - there’s a ‘d’ missing on ‘unsettled’. And that’s it. *shakes head*
7. Questions. The unavoidable questions each chapter leaves me with. Why is Siobhan always late? Is it really her style, or is she faking the ‘I don’t care much’-attitude? Hermione’s date? How on earth is Ron going to react? Will he be bringing someone to the ball? Is it really only because of Head Boy duties he’s visiting Dumbledore? - Questions, on which I don’t expect, or maybe don’t even want, answers. But they all add to the joyful anticipation for what is to come. *excitement*
Right, I hope you’re at least somewhat convinced now. All the best to you, my friend.
(This is most annoying, a ‘/’ escaped and I can’t bear seeing that bold disaster below – please delete it for me)
For the first time, I think I might be fearing for your mental health. Boring? I think not, and in an attempt to prove you wrong, I have made a list:
1. Hermione. As brilliant as in the last chapter, almost scarily in character with her composed self after… well, the unfortunate turn of things. I was more than moved by the tiny pause in this sentence: ‘ We’re both just taking a breather, while we get used to… being apart.’ - it had my heart crying. Still, not everything is horribly wrong, and the brain bit of me is beyond curious of her Slytherin Halloween date – you wouldn’t be going Zabini, would you? Nah, I’m not sure if that’s original enough. ;)
2. Harry. What did I tell you, he’d be victorious! :D No, but he’s moving around the castle and the other characters with such… well, confidence perhaps, something clearly shows he’s a 7th-year-student now. And he was amazing during the Quidditch match, good thoughts and emotion through it. He’d better do something foolish, stupid or even some brooding soon, otherwise I’ll have to join Katie (and yourself?) in the ‘We who want to marry Harry’-queue.
3. Siobhan. Now we know she can keep her secrets, all right. I have to wonder, of course, what other secrets she’s not even hinting. Anyway, very cool of her to keep the Seeker bit away from Harry, especially since you even told us they had been spending even more time together. ‘ Damn you, Potter.’ - Well placed, stuck a huge grin on my face. Her dialogue is better put together with the person than maybe any other OC (or just C) I’ve come across in HP fanfiction. Wasn’t it for Katie, I’d be very tempted to support a Harry/Siobhan match. >:)
4. Quidditch. Now, listen to Anna, it’s neither stupid nor boring. I can see what you mean, you’ve had a few games in your stories by now, but believe me there’s nothing repetitive or dull about them. Not even the fact that Harry catches the Snitch. To me, this had tension, action and humour. The long and fast final ‘pursuit of the Snitch’ was dramatic and I wouldn’t have changed any of it. But before I move on, only one question: How did Harry know, before the match, that this would be the last time he played Slytherin? Couldn’t they be playing each other in the Final?
5. Expectations. You’re not leaving your readers in much of a peace, are you? It feels good that Chapter 22 might not be too far away, with all that you’ve build up for us to long for and be curious about. Very clever way of keeping your readers. (Not that you could chase me away with a pickaxe, of course.)
6. Perfection. Do you know what the only mistake I could find was? Somewhere close to the end, in the sentence ‘…– just the fact that she was going with someone unsettle him.’ - there’s a ‘d’ missing on ‘unsettled’. And that’s it. *shakes head*
7. Questions. The unavoidable questions each chapter leaves me with. Why is Siobhan always late? Is it really her style, or is she faking the ‘I don’t care much’-attitude? Hermione’s date? How on earth is Ron going to react? Will he be bringing someone to the ball? Is it really only because of Head Boy duties he’s visiting Dumbledore? - Questions, on which I don’t expect, or maybe don’t even want, answers. But they all add to the joyful anticipation for what is to come. *excitement*
Right, I hope you’re at least somewhat convinced now. All the best to you, my friend.
You – you – Jenna, you are amazing! How can you keep doing this, making me think that every chapter is better than the last? Because this was most definitely the best one ever. *content sigh* Right, off to the review…
The Leaky Cauldron scene – wonderful. I love imagining Harry and Katie out like that, a little more grown-up, without the guards you constantly see with Harry when he’s out and about in fanfiction. I could see Katie’s drink glittering – nice detail. :)
“Lust and adoration?” he repeated, trying to contain his laughter. - Oh, you make me laugh! But yes, I’m glad to see a bit of ‘worry’ with Katie, things would have been a bit too perfect if she just let it go without being a little annoyed.
So, we get to see a confrontation between the Militia and the Death Eaters… Thoroughly well-written, some brilliant action there. You had us right there with Katie when she recognised her father, in the midst of everything.
I suppose the woman who objected to hurting Harry was Narcissa Malfoy? If it was, I like Bellatrix’ “Silence!” even more, being directed to her sister. To me that would show even more that family is not important to Bellatrix, only Voldemort is. Really clever saying by her, “What in the name of Salazar…?”, lots of people make up wizard’s sayings in fanfiction but few are convincing.
It was not only Bellatrix who was surprised when Harry got the blast of her Unforgivable, I was still sitting with raised eyebrows even though I read the excerpt, and I was definitely not connecting it to the ring. I was expecting the explanation to be some protective spell of Harry’s, but the real reason was just… wow.
…which brings me to more thoughts about Harry’s commitment when he proposed. I thought doing that was very mature in itself, little did I know what he was really thinking. And it’s just so… noble, protective, grown-up, loving, *sigh*. You and Jo have better stop this. *making an ‘I want to marry Harry’-badge* Speaking of Jo, as much as I support the canon, I also admit that I don’t mind reading your more powerful Harry the slightest. I loved his courage and his attitude when taking Bellatrix down. Putting the Vigil Tenebrae on her was just fair, but I can’t help to wonder what she actually did see. Now I want her to sit somewhere and rot for the rest of her (hopefully long and miserable) life, but I wouldn’t think we’ve seen the last of her?
The dialogue between Harry and Katie after the arrival of Ministry and Order members, was simply touching. I react with her, you write perfectly for us how she feels when realising what Harry has done, how much he must actually love her, and the depth of his devotion. What better way than this could Harry possibly prove his commitment to her? Wonderful, Jenna, frankly ingenious. Also, I can’t help but to love how she heals his face, and the way they touch - nothing big or blown up, but constant and natural.
Little bit of picking:
The fell at his feet, knocked out, and he returned his attention to Bellatrix. - a tiny ‘y’ missing at ‘They’.
“Harry – what happened?” she asked as ran her hand over his now smooth skin.
“Harry took her hand, and ran his finger over the smooth diamond that was set in her engagement ring. - I didn’t notice the repetition of ‘smooth’ the first time I read the chapter, it was only when I was going back for quotes that I saw it.
*tosses the ‘marry Harry’-badge to the side and starts working on a ‘GV711 fan’ one*
I'm glad you enjoyed all the Harry/Katie scenes and interaction - it's back to Hogwarts now, so Katie will once again be out of scenes for a bit :<
Yes, that was Narcissa protesting. I have no doubt Bellatrix puts Voldemort before family, especially considering some of her words and actions in 'Spinner's End'.
Though... there was another familiar character in that scene who went unnamed, and I don't know if anyone spotted him/her.
And I'll get to those errors once I get a chance :D
So… I should be able to deal with this in a somewhat calmer way…
Severus Snape. No, I don’t feel the same pain from losing him as I did from losing Dumbledore. It doesn’t matter how much Jan has tried to make the world see a different point of Snape, this one is simply related to your works and to canon, to me. And as that person, Snape’s sacrifice when protecting Harry somehow turned into his way of repaying the younger man for years of abuse in school. Yes, I would have preferred to see Snape live to the end of this, because I don’t believe that he is entirely evil, but at the same time there are characters I would certainly miss more. I think that by letting this happen, you gave us a chance to finally forgive Snape, and with the mention of the prophecy, a chance for him to go down in style – if there is such a thing in a situation like this.
All right, time for something slightly off-topic and somewhat more light-hearted. Remus Lupin, with a sword, totally turns me on. What is everyone doing with this character to make me react like this?!? And speaking of Remus, *gasp*, stop upsetting me like that! Charlie’s worry was so touching in the middle of the panic, that for a second I was wondering if Remus/Charlie would be an entirely bad idea… >.> Never mind me, I’m just being… Swedish.
Oh, dearest Ron. Since I mentioned the Sam similarity like… an hour ago, it seems a bit repetitive to do so again, but it’s very much there. But not just a likeness, it’s more like you have managed to capture the friendship perfectly. I found this to be especially touching: If you faint, I’ll carry you,” Ron promised. - not particularly because of what Ron was actually saying, but because he promised. The promise just glowed in the text, and even if Ron couldn’t do anymore than anyone else, he somehow turned into this strong, steady person in the chaos. Wonderful.
So, Ginny is with us all until the end, even if only by the mention of her name. *nods* I realise that I’ve probably got warmer feelings towards her than most of the people I know, so perhaps that’s why, but this still hurts. And the way she is mentioned, it’s a very, very strong way of showing what state Harry is actually in. *sighs*
I can’t help but to love the Harry/Katie moment. Not that I had expected you to have them arguing when everything else is upside-down, but it’s still a great comfort to see their love, and Katie’s devotion in sitting with him for so long. I also realise that now, at the end of this chapter, I’m beginning to actually wonder how you have planned to end this. Not as in who dies and who lives, but as in how people will be killed or survive. A small shudder just ran through me when I imagined a scene with Harry and Voldemort, facing each other… but at the same time I am, oddly enough, excited. The naïve and forever-trusting part of me believes that you would never, could never, manage to kill those characters that are dearest to us. Surely, Harry, Katie, Siobhan, Ron and Hermione must live on. If not… No, I don’t want to think about it. If that is how it must be, I’m going to save my tears for then.
I know these reviews are not much to talk about, but they still clear my mind somehow. I feel ready for chapter 37 now, and I know that when the final chapter appears I will be ready for that as well. Thank you, Jenna, for writing for us!
Right, dear old GringottsVault711, that was certainly a treat! I really like how you’re digging into the original works here and writing what could actually be coming, your thoughts on the subjects are certainly logic. It was a long time since I slapped my own forehead going “This is fanfiction!”, but now I’m at it again.
Ron’s situation is interesting and Aurora is still nagging my curiosity. I’m not sure why Ron is getting rest now, maybe him approaching the “dreams” with an investigational attitude makes a change? Or is there actually something else? You weren’t lying when you said Ron would have a bigger part in your Year Seven.
When Harry’s dream started, I almost expected him to pick up something from Ron, so after sniggering at “Subsequently, I have a very tiny brain...” I was surprised how things turned. The tree last lines of the dream had me shivering and thinking “Sweet Merlin, this is Jenna at her best!” Now, that combined with the early-morning conversation following it, made me think. It’s a very clever interpretation of you, that he did die at the same time as he did not - it makes sense and is in a way very JKR, it’s similar to how she twists things for us. As you pointed out, Voldemort had indeed taken steps towards immortality earlier, so my question now is: when was it that he did/did not die? And who was then close to killing him? Dumbledore? My mind is spinning here and now (and since you know I’ve read this before reviewing now, you can only imagine how dizzy the hours of spinning thoughts have made me!).
Big bonus for the images of angry Gryffindor girls in their nightgowns, but I missed both Katie and Ginny among them. *little sigh* You’re really building up to something here and it’s a relief to know that 18 is not too far away - I think it’s the first time I’ve been this desperate to come along to the Hogwarts library. Nice work, Jenna!
“Sweet Merlin, this is Jenna at her best!” - WOW... *blushes*
Harry isn't the only one who is bewildered - what on earth? At first I thought Ron was planning something for his and Hermione's anniversairy, but what would that have to do with Harry?
And oh, that you would write Harry missing Katie when I miss them together. I hope, I really hope, that you will sort something out for their anniversairy! Good of Ron to finally get it out, of course, and Hermione was so well written in that scene, I'm impressed. I think it's great the way you've made her think about the Halloween ball, that would normally be something that the girly girls would do, but Hermione has got a purpose with it which makes it alright without being OC. I didn't like the cut thing, it worries me - I hope Siobhan had nothing to do with it? And as for my comment on James for last chapter, I would say no, I never saw him as an Auror either. Actually, I don't have a clear view of what he could have been. I would have thought he did a lot of Order work and maybe never got around to an actualy "career". And for some reason (and I might be out of my place here) it doesn't quite feel like you're entirely happy with James as a teacher yourself. Or, no, that wasn't exactly what I meant, but... well, it still doesn't feel 100% right to your story for me. But it's such a tiny detail (for all I know), so I won't stay hung up on it. Good Luck on chapter 15, we're doing all we can to back you up mentally! :) /Anna
Author's Response: Thank you for the nice review - as for all those little questions, they shall be answered in time. James as DADA teacher - well, I'm not ecstatic about it, but I certainly don't have any issues with it. I felt it was a good option, and I also found it rather believable and fitting. Thanks again for the awesome review, you do one heck of a job.
*closes eyes and imagines snow falling* Jenna, this was definitely worth waiting for. I’m feeling all Christmasy now, with all the right emotions in place – the joyful ones, and the more serious ones that always come with this season.
You are completely spoiling us with Harry and Katie! Their love is steadily becoming something more and more solid, something I feel will last through any difficulties ahead. If there is a clear element of hope in your story, it has got to be the two of them together. I think I mentioned it when they were last in Diagon Alley together, how I adore seeing them out and about alone with each other. There is something so grown-up about it, no parents around (although I just realised that their children will not have many grandparents, even with Molly as a bonus one…) and no specially assigned Order members breathing down their necks. I get hopeful flashes from the future, of the two of them buying Christmas presents for family and friends – and for their children.
I admire how you manage to write them so peaceful with each other, yet so passionate in a… proper way, I presume. Especially Harry’s love is sparkling, and their words about the wedding were just so beautiful. I thought I saw a glint of fear there, for the great thing they’ve set out to do, but the excitement about it is much clearer. All of this seems so true with a devoted, but still young, couple. So, do you know what I’m going to say? This: Don’t you dare let one or both of them die in the end! Yes, it would be the saddest moment in my history of reading fanfiction, and yes, you would have me sobbing like a child. But there are other emotions you could write me into, like that ultimate happiness that makes my heart swell until my chest threatens to burst from it. And, you would much rather do that with a splendid wedding, wouldn’t you? Hm? ;) All right, now I will stop being a pain and move on.
Siobhan, this extraordinary creation of your mind. She’s demanding more of Blood Debt, isn’t she just? I will tell you, although it’s hardly necessary, that this is something I enjoy. I’ve always felt that she has added that extra something to your story, but in this chapter there is in fact something I can pick out and point at. And that thing, is Ron. I find that opinions on this certain red-head vary a lot within fanfiction. Sadly, it seems like many people think he is worth less than the other two members of our trio and that he is, if not stupid, then at least simple. Your story has never done this to his character, instead I think you have kept a good balance between his good and bad sides. Here, you raise the value of Ron with many percent, only through that kiss with Siobhan. Why? Because she’s Siobhan, and she’s choosing to kiss/be kissed by Ron. I don’t know for sure of course, but it doesn’t seem that this is just for simple entertainment or to stir some feelings in the group, but rather like she’s looking for comfort. And what is Ron, if not safe and loyal? I can not really see a blossoming relationship between him and Siobhan, but I can definitely see why they might be attracted to each other.
There is more of the Irish lady, of course. You show us several interesting angles of her, through Molly, the twins and Liam…
…which naturally takes us to the next paragraph and Siobhan’s big brother. Aw, Jenna, thank you for giving him this guest appearance. I know I have expressed my excitement on his character before, but seeing him “in action”, makes the experience all the better. As for his entrance… LOL! You totally had me there, I was just chuckling at poor Hermione before I realised the situation seemed a little too familiar. Liam’s interaction with the more familiar people is exactly what I would have imagined, I love the details – how he greets Crookshanks, how he speaks a bit with Charlie, and how he can’t keep his hands away from a beautiful Granian.
This review is sort of writing itself, you know. :) This seems a good time to mention Clarimonde, which is by the way a beautiful name you’ve picked. I’m SO curious as to how she will come in handy, also do I wonder about the arrangements that will be made for her. Is she coming back to Hogwarts? Will Hagrid care fore her when Harry is busy? And even if it’s just a coincidence, Liam having a stable full of these magnificent creatures, and Harry getting one, perhaps could be a future subject of conversation for these two fine men. As for Liam, I just hope that you will be struck with major inspiration and given lots of time so that Sins can move quickly forward to where he will appear.
My heart aches for the Weasleys, and Katie, but particularly Molly. You practically wrote it: ‘Harry’s heart ached for her, and he felt Katie squeeze his hand.’ I started thinking about Ginny, like your story has often led me to do. I wonder how she would have felt about everything going on here, and I would have loved to see some interaction between her and Siobhan. The two red-headed girls, both such close friends of Harry’s… *sighs* But, although I spent some time thinking of Ginny, it was nothing compared to my feelings about Arthur. I know what brought on all the emotions, it was your writing here combined with one of Jan’s latest chapters of Severed Souls, where she had a very vivid Arthur Weasley. I had problems keeping my tears back, and I so want Molly to be happy. You mention the reasons for joy, but the sadness is so heavy.
Yet, you manage to do magic by chapter construction and put the outdoor scene last. I don’t know why it leaves me with such a content feeling – Molly isn’t any happier and honestly, I wanted Hermione to kiss Ron, not Siobhan! But whatever it was, they shared something out there, something that probably sent warmth through both their bodies. I’m not going to attempt to put a word on it, but in times of war like these, who would deny any positive feelings? Even if this was just the world’s most random slice of happiness, I find that I welcome it.
Lovely writing, Jenna. Did I say that you spoil me? Because you do. Thanks!
To be completely honest, Harry and Katie are bothering me. So fluffy - it makes me uncomfortable to read my own writing with that pair. They need a spat.
I don't know what I can possibly say to the rest of it [except that I particularly appreciate your comments on Ron's character, thank you!]. You've excited me so much for Chapter 32, now. You've purposely bewitched me, I think ;)
Another chapter, finally. I think we were spoilt with 'Year Six'. when you brought us almost a chapter a day. Anyway, I like the name you gave the more violent group, very suitable. Nice to see that Alex is so open with information to Harry, it's always been frustrating with the way people hide things from him (and us, through him). Siobhan is still prodding my curiosity and I feel a bit sad for her - a parent is always a parent, even if they're bad to you or to the world. Ron and Harry's diversion was very well-coordinated and funny, made me laugh! :) All the best, *& offering a Thornton's toffee* /Fantasium
Of course. It makes sense - why did I not see it? Now the question is, who on earth is Aurora? I really like the way you're introducing your Siobhan, the glimpses we get of her is just enough to make her a part of the story withouth disturbing what you've already created. At the moment, I'm missing Harry/Katie closeness so I'm crossing my fingers for a Hogsmeade Weekend (or something even better?) very soon. About Harry's parents, I can sooner see Lily as an Unspeakable than James as the DADA teacher. I love the connection it would make between father and son, but it doesn't quite fit in with JKR (haha, because I wrote that, you can bet she'll announce in the first chapter of HBP that James was indeed a teacher). Anyway, your writing is as good as ever. Rock on.
Author's Response: Aurora - have fun with that one *evil laugh*. And I have some H/K interaction planned *very* soon :) About James not fitting as a teacher? Because of canon evidence (which I haven't found anything to rule it out) or because of characterization? I personally think 15-year-old James wouldn't have been up for it, but *I've heard* he matured. :) Thanks for the great review, as always.
(I’m now re-writing this review, since I can’t find the original...)
Hmm... I would say this was one of your heaviest chapters throughout both the stories. I think it was even worse than battle scenes, because in battle the characters (Harry in particular) can actually do something. Here, it’s just a frustrated situation of despair, where no one has any real power to do anything. It led my thoughts on to the situation with terrorists of our time, and I just felt... empty. Very nice job on writing this awfully hopeless state of things.
I think it’s very interesting how Hermione and Siobhan seem to be getting on so well. In one way it surprises me; because I don’t think Hermione is Siobhan’s ‘type of person’. But on the other hand I’m not surprised at all; because I think of Siobhan as someone who has got a knack for judging people as individuals. I know I’ve read Chapter 28 already, but I’ve still got an (hopefully) emotional Christmas to be looking forward to. A nice Katie/Siobhan confrontation – well, that should be a treat for you to write, and a treat for me to read. ‘“Libby didn’t know she was signing Siobhan’s execution…”’ :)
I’m crying inside for Ron and Hermione. ‘Hermione trembled next to Ron, both sitting tensely as though trying to prevent themselves from leaning on the other. Finally, Ron wrapped his arm around her and pulled her head onto his shoulder where she rested still looking terror-stricken from the news.’ - I thought this was the most heartbreaking part of this chapter. My romantic Heart is on the go again, desperately hoping for some Christmas magic, or whatever it might take to bring them back together. (As-always-disagreeing Brain thinks that ‘final battle-time’ would be better...)
‘ ‘They can’t cancel Quidditch!’ match spectator and Puddlemere United Reserve Keeper Oliver Wood said.’ - I know I’ve already mentioned this on LJ, but I’m doing it again, on record so to say. I think it’s so clever, and it just replays in Sean Biggerstaff’s voice in my mind. Well done.
I don’t know if I picked up on anything else that I mentioned in the first attempt of this review, but I only found one tiny typo when I skimmed my way through the chapter for this version:
‘Harry echoed their actions, only he headed to Gryffindor Tower intead.’ - an ‘s’ is missing in ‘instead’.
I know I’m getting spoiled with your chapters, and believe me that I still think this is brilliant, despite my lack of squeaks and exclamation marks. At the moment my uncontrollable thoughts have sped on to the Chapter 28 review, so I guess that’s where I should be heading too.
Christmas magic is in store - the question of who will be enchanted by it still remains to be guessed!
Thanks, as ALWAYS, for the amazing review!
What an eventful, superb chapter! I can’t believe there are people around who think you should stop writing on Blood Debt - such lunatics! ;)
Let’s start with a bit of the Murphy favourite. I couldn’t help but notice what she read: ‘“It’s about a prince who has to avenge his father’s death, and gets himself and a lot of other people killed in the process…” she explained dryly, before smiling slightly and adding, “It’s fascinating.”’ – I can see that the alter ego is at it, and the reply made me laugh with Harry and Ron. I mentioned in the last review that Siobhan seems to be getting on well with Hermione, and the fact that the two know each other a bit better now only made Siobhan’s subtle teasing better.
‘Fortunately, Siobhan arrived right on time for the first time since Harry had known her, effectively ending the awkward moment.’ - I’m quoting this sentence, because I think it’s an expertly written one. We know Siobhan is (very) often late, you use that fact as a piece of her character puzzle. Here you use her doing the opposite fairly subtly, and it’s nothing that affects the plot – but it adds an awful lot to the sound of the story, it’s like another seem, layer, knot or whatever, but it serves to tie things together even more, it gives a complete feeling. Of course, this was just an example, your story is full of its likes. Siobhan has recently become an inescapable part of Blood Debt, and not just because I happen to like her.
Finally, excellent time to reveal the engagement. And oh, were Harry’s friends in character! Ron’s behaviour went straight into an ‘aaawin’ heart, effectively reminding me why I like him as much as I actually do. I hadn’t worried about Hermione’s reaction that much, although I thought it was very good of you to have it accept her. Firstly, that’s what I think she would do, and secondly, another thing to divide the trio would have been bad at this time.
‘“Well, the wedding won’t be for another good while,” Harry said, gaining a nod of approval from Hermione, “But, yes, of course.”’ - adorable, mature Harry – I love him! I thought he (and Hermione of course, but that is obvious) was even more mature when hearing ‘“The two of you did seem extremely happy that morning,” Ron recalled. “Though I thought it was – something else.”’, and not even frowning/blushing/joking about it. Do you know what? I find myself longing to read the happiest, most enjoyable wedding epilogue ever. And I know you could write it without making it hopelessly fluffy.
The absence of Ginny struck me again when Mrs Weasley hugged Ron. He’s the baby now, to her. *sigh* I sure miss the Weasley daughter. Your version was possibly my favourite one. *clearing throat* Moving on.
‘...including a significantly more rounded Fleur, who Harry spotted stealing a large spoonful of mashed potatoes from her unsuspecting husband’s plate.’ - *laughing* So, nothing against the British food anymore? I loved the pregnant!Fleur of this chapter, what a wonderful work you’re doing on her! *laughing a little more* I’m almost grateful the GoF film isn’t in cinemas yet, because I really enjoy the voice of Fleur I’ve got in my head. *suppressing a snicker* I like the onions idea, and how true it could be. (Apparently, I’m 85% made of red peppers – my mother’s obsession during that pregnancy.) Ah, Bill is too sweet doting upon her... eh, or fulfilling her wishes, at least. I suspect there isn’t enough time to be doting, the demands probably come before he gets a chance to it. But she wouldn’t be Fleur otherwise, would she? Or really, she wouldn’t be a pregnant woman. :)
Lupin! *skipping and jumping in excitement* About time too!
Even though this was sort of a ‘chapter in between’, it was one of your best ones ever. It’s got something I can’t put my finger on... Something about your language... It’s there sometimes, but I’m never aware when it’s absent, and I can’t define it when it’s present. It been constant so far in ‘Sins’ and I can remember it clearly from Chapter 25... Now, that was very unhelpful of me, wasn’t it? I suppose it could be a hint of where your writing is heading? If it is, well, I guess I’ll just discover if it’s possible to become more of a fan of yours than I already am. Completely wonderful chapter, Jenna.
I'm pleased you took notice of Siobhan's reading material ;) Wedding Epilogue... *cries* But... Sins! And, what about Lucille's sequel? *sigh* Just to let you know, I do have several companion shots planned to come out after this story is completed, maybe for years afterwards with the way my plot bunnies are mating. A wedding epilogue all depends on... well, you know. *cough*
This is one of my personal favourite 'filler chapters', which usually I detest writing. And this is has to be the best review I've ever read from you. *is very content*. Now... Lupin and Harry have a lot to talk about, so I should probably stop responding to reviews, eh?
Thanks, once again, and always!
All right, evil uninspired me. But the neglecting is ending right here, right now. :) Let’s start with a quote:
“Yes, I suppose it is,” Harry answered with a fond grin. - the fond grin! Fond of this new day, fond of life, fond of Dumbledore, I don’t really care exactly what it meant, but in this situation, oh, it just gave me such a nice feeling about the state of things between Harry and his Headmaster. But they are not ‘mates’, I’m not sure I would read a story by someone who were trying to make them buddies, and you make so clear they’re not, with Harry just nodded; it was difficult to know exactly how to respond when one’s magical power was being complimented by Albus Dumbledore. Bravo!
My fascination with Miss Murphy continues. Her friendship brings out something unique in Harry, that I’ve never seen another character do. Perhaps if Sirius had lived longer and they had become closer, the friendship between Godfather and Godson could have led up to some similar comments, “Glad to hear you’re so sincerely pleased I’m not mangled and bloody…” being my favourite in this brief meeting.
Reopen queue, reopen! I need Sins of the Father now, I think, to feed this addiction.
The Hogsmeade visit and Mrs Virgo... Well, it was very emotional for me, maybe more than you intended it to be, because of Ginny’s sake. But, *sigh*, moving past that, the whole story around Aurora is very intriguing. I can’t believe that she died because she stood up for Sirius... Damn Crouch! >:(
Now, something you must clarify to me, from this:
Shortly after, he somehow lost a good portion of his memories that had anything to do with Aurora or our family, and I have not seen or heard from him since. - is ‘he’ Sirius or Aurora’s brother Roberius. Because if it’s Sirius, that would give us a reason why he never mentioned Aurora, or tried to contact her after he escaped Azkaban. But if it referred to Roberius, that’s even more interesting. It would then mean that his mother was aware of him losing some of his memories before he disappeared... and if so, how and why on Earth did his brain end up in a tank in the Department of Mysteries? Well, if they were actual brains, that is, and not just some type of storage devices for thoughts and memories? *pausing* Right, I think I stop this train of thoughts right now.
By the way, Fleur better have a gorgeous baby and let Mrs Weasley cuddle it all the time, to make up for all that she’s lost.
Only the tiniest mistake that I came across: Don’t worry about it,” Harry cut in honestly. - quotation mark missing at the beginning. (Am I irritating or what? Well, I did warn you about the Return of the Annoying Reviews, so there you go!)
Lovely chapter Jenna, as always. (Anna is repetitive, Anna is stating the obvious, but she means it!)
Fleur... gorgeous baby... yeah. ;) Well, if you want to predict how I'll be using the offspring of Bill and Fleur, just remember it was conceived in late August ;)
Anna sounds a little like Dobby in that last part...
*plopping by, looking for chapter 4* Hmm, not here yet, ey? :) Nevermind me, I'm just impatient because I think I've become a "Year Seven: Harry Potter & The Blood Debt "-addict (don't you think that checking for chapters at least 4 times a day indicates that?) :) Anyway, I've finally gotten around to mentioning you in my summary as Fantasium, something I should've done AGES ago - you are, after all, my favourite author! No, better go and check on our border collie puppies now, cheers! /The Addict
Re-reading on a rainy day, found a tiny thing in Katie's letter: "...sit down and write to because of all the madness...", a little 'you' seems to be missing. /Anna
Nooo, you mustn't do this! :D That was, to quote Mr Weasley himself, "bloody brilliant!". But I can't see how that chapter is going to help curing my addiction? It's very much the contrary, I think! But, having read the reviews you got so far for this chapter, and suddenly reflecting over it myself - what is Katie going to answer? Why did you make it a cliffhanger (evil person!)? The chapter also made me wonder - what IS Harry going to do when his friends are busy with ther HB/HG duties? Is he going to get closer to another friend? To finish this (again, exhausting, poor you!) review, I'll just mention that I really liked Harry's conversation with Molly. Bravo!
Beware Of: Anna, new SPEW member, running for the title of “Exhausting Reviewer of the Year”. ;)
A very… focused chapter, if that’s the right thing to say. It wasn’t until now, when I’m in review-mode, that I actually realised that this whole chapter consists of a conversation between Harry and Remus. It was called for though, after Mr Lupin’s long absence, and after everything that has happened. In their chat, you let Harry bring up some of the most important matters, without boring anyone. Well done.
Nice information on the progress of the ‘lycanthropy remedy’, I’m glad there is still hope for Remus and that he seems to be pleased about what has been accomplished so far. I’ve got very positive feelings for this certain werewolf at the moment (I could swear you and Jan are in conspiracy about it), and my heart (non-capitalized today) is hoping that he will be cured before the end. He’s deserves to be.
I enjoyed the deeper words between the two concerning the Militia, and committing murder. It came to an abrupt and clever stop when Harry disarmed Remus with his inquiries about Aurora. It made me smile, the way the former teacher is still a bit reluctant to give Harry information, whereas Alex is so open with him. But Remus knew he couldn’t escape, and what he revealed was very satisfying. And yes, ‘“But that’s how Sirius was, wasn’t he? Rash, impulsive.”’, I agree, and Remus can speak like that just as you can write like that, because you both display such a fondness of the character that was Sirius Black.
I don’t really care if this was just a random bit of background story on Sirius, as a follow-up on Ron’s brain-matter, or if it will serve the plot in some other way further on, I still loved the insight to Sirius’ life.
‘“A cheeky little Irish girl, isn’t she? Very smart though.”’ - *snort* I say no more.
I love how you wrote of James’, and particularly Lily’s, professional lives. Pardon me for quoting the whole thing, but I can’t help myself:
‘“Yes – she was rather annoying about it, too,” Lupin said. “We’d ask her what she’d been up to at work, and she’d put her nose up in the air and say ‘You know I can’t say, so I suggest you stop asking.’ Then she’d smile at us mischievously and ask what we’d ‘wasted’ our day doing.”’ - I just smiled, and enjoyed the very colourful picture of the woman who married James Potter. There are so many James/Lily fics, I’ve read a few but rarely enjoyed one very much. I think you give us a better idea of Lily in those short lines, than most of them do in long, chaptered stories focused on her.
The sentence on Harry that followed, ‘Harry laughed, hanging on to ever word of Lupin’s anecdote of Lily Potter, a familiar ache inside him as he wished once more to have grown up with his parents, and to have known and loved them.’ - was so sad, but beautiful, a valuable reminder of an important part of what makes the man, what makes Harry Potter. He’s much too old now, and has too many other things to get on with, to mope and sulk over being an orphan. But it’s still always a part of him, of course, as you show us.
I wonder if you had planned Harry’s wish to go to Godric’s Hollow, or if it’s an inspiration from new canon? Anyhow, it’s simply ingenious of you to come up with the fact that Harry probably can’t see the remains of the house, since it was under the Fidelus Charm. It makes me wonder, about canon, what will actually happen with the protection of Grimmauld Place, now that its Secret Keeper is dead?
You don’t leave anything out, do you? With Peter Pettigrew as the Secret Keeper, and his life debt to Harry. I’m beyond curious what’s going to happen at this encounter, how Pettigrew is going to act, along which lines that conversation is going to go. Very exciting!
I don’t know if I was especially conscious of the end of this chapter, since you mentioned it’s initial ‘weakness’ yourself, but I don’t think I was. In either case, the result here is not weak, it’s marvellous! It’s the exact Harry that I love, he’s not using Remus’ first name because he’s been asked to, or is trying to be ‘mates’, but because of the seriousness of the moment: ‘“But I have memories of Sirius, I have his home, his portrait, my Firebolt. And I have you. I have nothing but a map and a cloak to know my father, and nothing of my mother’s.”’ Harry is strong, he’s indeed a great man and wizard, and Remus (so amazingly in character here, both in conversation and actions) is truly beginning to recognise this. Both with Harry’s words: ‘“Perhaps I want to restore it and live there myself one day..”’ (where, as I quoted, I noticed there was a point too many or too few), and with Remus two final sentences: ‘“To your parent’s house. To your home.”’, you lit a longing in me, a longing to see a new house stand where the first one was destroyed, a place where Harry and Katie could live in peace, happiness and harmony. *dreamy sigh*
Just lovely, Jenna, as always. *straightening the ‘GV711 fan’ badge*
Anyway - nothing has changed for HBP canon. All ideas still in place. Nothing new, nothing shoved aside. Some little things that I want to change or add, the insignificant - well, I ignore those too. I have to keep this 100% the way it was before I read book six. So, the trip to Godric's Hollow is written clearly in the outline ;)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for your hopes for Remus, for Harry & Katie, for Godric's Hollow... well, you'll just have to wait and see. ;)
Oh, the pressure is certainly on now! ;)
To start at the very beginning, being the rather suspicious person I am, I still don’t trust the journals. I like them, yes, but I don’t trust them. Quick question, you might have actually written it but please remind me, will Harry’s words stay in the journal(s) or will the pages go blank again, like Riddle’s diary, once Harry/Katie has finished writing/reading? Maybe no one’s intercepting the journals, but what if they’re found with lots of important information in them? No, I’m worried about the whole thing, even if I’m glad that Harry can keep closer contact with his fiancé.
Being a bore, I’ll point out something I thought was a little repetitive: after Harry had fallen down the staircase, Hermione asked something ‘quickly’, then Ron said something ‘quickly’, with only a line between. But hey, only picking up on it since there’s nothing else to fail, and I’m trying to do a SPEW-imitation review here. :)
It’s frustrating watching Harry wanting to tell them about his engagement, and not getting the opportunity to. And as things have turned out – when will he be able to? Still, I’m quite confident you’re keeping the moment for later for a good reason, I can’t wait to see the situation where you will actually let his two best friends know.
Right, Siobhan. *delighted* Nice pieces of information here, on where she lives and what she thinks of it. Brilliant dialogue between Harry and her, it’s clear that they’ve actually become friends (or something similar). And yay, the Gryffindor/Slytherin cauldron will get stirred, I hope, with them going together. I found this line: ‘“Right,” Siobhan said, looking away in a rare moment of shyness.”’ very interesting indeed. Why is she looking away like that? Shyness? Is she disappointed that Harry only thinks of house unity? I wouldn’t have thought so. Or is she actually starting to like Harry (not romantically, but -), and is that perhaps conflicting with other… intentions she might have? She certainly adds some spice to the Blood Debt, I can’t deny that.
Seamus and Luna, eh? No, surely, you’re not into rarepairs, are you? ;)
Oooh, splendid Hermione all through the chapter. I’m very glad that I managed to stay away from the one-shot, now being able to enjoy the last paragraphs of the chapter like I should. I know that I’m jumping ahead to what should be the end of my review, but I can’t help it – the whole scene was just wonderful in its sadness, how vulnerable Hermione was, how gentle, strong and supportive Harry was, both in words and actions.
It’s only right and proper, I suppose, to turn to Ron then: ‘“Look, sometimes love just isn’t enough, Harry… to get you through the hard times.”’
‘“I think you’re wrong.”’
- I can only agree with Harry here, as do I on: ‘“She was your first love, Ron… and she should be your only love, too,” Harry said quietly.’ I think you’ve got a great understanding for a more mature Harry’s thoughts around love and relationships. I never thought his proposal to Katie was OOC, on the contrary I think that in combination of Harry’s person, his unusual upbringing with lack of love, and the fact that the wizarding world is a little old-fashion, made it very realistic indeed. Therefore, his words to Ron were also realistic, even more so when they push some of it away with a joke on how good they’ve become on talking about feelings. Although, I don’t think that girlfriends has had that much to do with it, horrible events and the maturity that followed are more likely.
My opinion on the actual break-up? Well, my heart of course aches from it, since it desperately want things to be forever happy. But my curious brain can’t wait to see how they’ll act around each other, how it will affect Harry with what he has to do, and what will happen to them in the end. Will there perhaps be a reunion of some sort in connection to a Final Battle? Or will one of them be lost, even, leaving the other to deal with it? It shall be most interesting to see what your mastermind makes of it.
Relationships. ‘It was as though someone had died.’ How interesting that you should write that, I was just thinking that even though the characters are not unknown to death, a broken relationship can hurt almost as much. This shows particularly with Hermione, who is certainly very much a girl with complex feelings and now, a shattered heart. When she told Harry at the end, how much she loves Ron, you nearly had me crying. Out of recognition, I thought at first, before I realised that it had nothing to do with myself, all of it was from your story.
Now, since fanfiction readers are never satisfied and I feel rather heavy-hearted – give me Chapter 21! :) All the best, Jenna.
Thanks for catching the repetition - I hate repeating words, but it's difficult to catch some mistakes at times ;)
"I think you're wrong." - I happen to love that line, myself. In my mind I hear Harry say it with a lot of conviction, and it just makes me want to elope with him, but I won't because he's Katie's ;)
As for Ron & Hermione... well, only time will tell, and this is one of those things where my lips are sealed until the end.
Chapter 21 is on it's waythanks for the brilliant review, Anna
Shall I say that it was well worth the wait? You already know that I think so, and you also know that I haven’t waited quite as long as I’m pretending right now. Wonderful Harry/Katie interaction in this chapter, from the teasing to the goodbye. I know last chapter was supposed to be theirs, but this was better. (Something fanfictionally untamed inside screams mooore!) I have maybe not mentioned Alex too many times when reviewing, but I do like her. She’s always straight with Harry, something we’ve never been spoilt with. The short word “Sirius” made me sad, but in a silent and still way, very different from the short lines on Ginny in last chapter – that still HURTS. *glaring a little* Harry’s words about that certain Head Girl were hilarious, my snort of laughter managed to wake up three dogs. Still, the somehow most interesting part of the chapter was when Siobhan joined the group at Three Broomsticks, when the line “What’s so funny?” fell I for some reason thought “Well, here comes Jenna!”. I know you mentioned her as your ae somewhere and that might have something to do with it, but I still don’t know why that thought came to me, exactly there. As we’re on to Siobhan, I dearly hope that she hasn’t got any other reasons than curiosity to talk that much to Katie. I like Siobhan more and more as a character, at the same time as something’s tickling in my toes – she WAS there when Harry got that cut, and she IS a Slytherin. A naughty Slytherin, too *suspects*. Mental support to you on 16 (or 17 if you finished already), not that you need it but anyway! ;)