Now I am tearing up. You did a really good job with this story. I really liked the beggining with all the death eaters talking to each other and having formed a connection between Bella and Rudolphus without actually mentioning that they were together! The part of the story where the Longbottoms were being tortured was really sad, but my loyalties still lie as a Bellatrix fan! 10 10 10 10, 110!
Yay! That was my favorite chapter so far. Keep doing what you're doing, and don't give up! I think it's fantastic what you do with your ability to write. You were my inspiration to write my own fanfic, and I don't think I'd have one up now had it not been for you! This is a unique story with lots of emotion! I love reading and writing emotion!! Loved the end with Elise's letter. Nice way to tie things up! 1000000000000/10!!! You are going in my favorites!!!!!!!!!! Really!
Author's Response: wow... well, thank you so much :). That really motivates me, it really does... because I've felt like i can't write for the last few weeks. It's great to hear that someone supports my pointless Sirius/fanfic obsession (my parents have voiced their severe concern for my mental stability). Anyhoo, thanks a million+a million and God bless. -ama
Hi! Greeeeaaat job! You did fantastic and I think you have real talent. I love the whole idea of there being a diary that held the thoughts of Sirius Black and I honestly cannot wait until you put up your next chapter. I also love the fact that Sirius has found an interest in a less than popular girl (Elise) and she doesn't push him away like Stella Sinistra. I admire the whole "Your a jerk, I'm too smart for you" thing, but sometimes that just seems a little vain. And I really love the way that Sirius uses Dark Arts on Elise to keep Remus safe. (Am I gonna review your whole story here?) Even though it was a bit cruel.
....JUST KEEP DOING WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING! I LOVE IT! HERE COMES A MIGHTY TEN!!!!!
Author's Response: You're too nice, i'm glad you like the direction its going. haha, in my mind I'm Elise... oh, I can dream can't I? *giggles*
You have a couple dialouge errors. I won't go back and copy them but, I'll give you an example.
ex. "Hi, Lily," He said.
What it should look like is:
ex. "Hi, Lily," he said.
Just don't capitalize the "he" and you'll be fine.
This was a particularly good chapter, but I didn't really understand the Quidditch part, it was a bit confusing. Maybe you could clarify that a bit. I'm not saying your chapter was bad, I'm just trying to help. Actually, I think the chapter was quite good. Now for the poll:
Scene: Quiddtich, despite the confusion
Chapter: Forgive Me?
Quote: Boys were so strange sometimes.
Character: Sirius
Couple: Alex/Sirius
Title: The title of the whole story!
Yay! Keep writing. I hope you're having fun with this story!
I know this review is probably really out of place for a Lily/James fic, but I'd really like to know why the Marauders alway have to make Bellatrix embarrass herself. I thought it was Snape they were after. For some reason, I feel sorry for her when she gets embarrassed. Oh, maybe that's cause I'm a Bellatrix fan-lol :-). Anyway, I've been reading you fic since its first chapters and its good.
Oooh, wait. I just realised that Rodolphus said "eliminate the source". Does that mean the Marauders????? Ooooh... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *presses too hard and breaks keyboard*
Hermione knew this thing she had with Malfoy was purely physical. She knew she shouldn't have fallen in love with him. And she knew that when he said he loved her too, a dozen misfortunes would befall them. Yet they both did admit it and just when she thought this temporary relationship might just last, she was left all alone and he?...Well he became one of Them.
RUNNER-UP in the Dangerous Liaisons Awards for "The Where Did That Come From Award" (Best Twists and Turns) and WINNER in the He Had it Coming Awards.
I also want to add that all this support you all have given me is just fabulous. Thanks a lot. I love you guys!
I love Bella too! Yay! This fic is the most bitchy hardcore fic ever!! TEMPORARY IS AWESOME!!!!!
Awww, how sweet! I wish this were a movie then I would sit there replaying it over and over again! This fic is going on my favorites!
Ha Ha! No complains, cept one! Why didn't you put Rodolphus in???? I know you mentioned him, but it would have been so much funnier if you put him in! Anyway, 10/10!
Kewl poem! That's a lot to hear me say of a poem that's not about Death Eaters as the main points. You must be really good! 1000000000000/10! What? There's only ONE zero?!? An outrage! I'm giving you a 1000000000000/10 anyway!
I'm very sorry to say this, but I think you are in need of some severe medical attention at St. Mungos. This was wacky (and severly incorrect) to the extreme.
~LaLa
P.S If you'd like a real description of Rodolphus read my fic.
P.P.S I am aware that I cannot take a joke.
P.P.P.S Bellatrix Rocks!
Kewl! Funny! I have only one disappointment. For the battle of the bands part- try picking three different bands who aren't made up of posers!!
Bye!
LaLa
P.S Try Panic! At the Disco, From First to Last, and My Chemical Romance. They're awesome!
Author's Response: That pretty much why I choose those bands! lol I like the bands you chose though! But i choose the others as a bit of a joke really. thanks for the review!
Alright, I just read all three chapters and can say that this is very well written! I
Sorry, something went wrong with my computer and the review was cut short! Damn, I wrote a really long one too. Oh well, I'll just start over.
I really like Zee. She's very believable! And you describe her brilliantly. That being said, I have a critque about Tom. He seems a little OOC to me. I mean, he's not supposed to be capable of love, but if he did love someone, I think he'd be a little more subtle about it, right? Him being so gentle with her is hard for me to believe.
Anyway, this is a wonderful fic! Update soon!
Though I am a real big fan of Bella/Rodolphus, this fic was deeply moving. It was sad and intense, and I wanted to cry. The beauty of your word set off a vivid picture in my mind. I absoulutely adored the part right before Bella walks down the aisle. This was beautiful- more beautiful than any fic I have ever read. The most beautiful. *tears run down face* You are brilliant. I am putting this into my favorites. Keep writing!
whew! Good, long story. Thanks for telling me about this. It's really great. I wish I had more to say, but I'm at a loss for words. Good job! 10/10
Real good! I can't wait to find out what happens next!!!! I cannot beleive I am writing a short review but I have nothing else to say except.... HAVE A TEN, YOU ROCK!
That was very good! I loved how Ginny said, "A Sirius look-alike" I don't know why, but it made me laugh. Maybe I'm just stupid though... ;-). You writing is so wonderful, the idea of the whole story is brilliant. Really, Ive never seen anything quite like it!
wow, you have quite a following *looks at reviews below*. I cannot wait to read this chappie either... too bad I have to wait... I hate waiting *throws temper tantrum*
Wow, that was really good! I can't believe how you ever get time to write like this ontop of bannermaking!
Anyways, this was my favorite part:“Doesn’t mean I have to like them.” Ron muttered, though he looked resigned. The three of them glanced over at the Slytherins, who although remained cool and calm on the surface, were still obviously amazed with the going-ons above. For many years, Harry had believed all Slytherins to be evil, subjects of Voldemort that didn’t have a good bone in their body. Last year, though, he had learned differently. Slytherins were ambitious, true, but it didn’t mean they were heartless. Many had joined him in the final battle against Voldemort. He owed his life to some of them, and he was ready to admit it. Ron, on the otherhand, hadn’t been there. He, Hermione, and Ginny had been spread out among the depths of the castle, magically connected with Harry. Each of them had provided a bit of their life force in order to equip Harry with the strength and skill he needed to defeat the Dark Lord. It had been a tremendous feat, but none of them had seen how a group of Slytherins had surrounded Harry and protected him from Death Eaters, as he tapped into the combined power. He, himself, would never forget it.
I don't know why, I just liked that part. Your writing was magnifique! I wish I could write like that! No fair! 10/10! Yay for you!