I finally have some time on my hands to leave a review. I've been reading your story for quite a while now, it's actually the only story I've read on MNFF so far and I love it. Both characters and plot are great. I love every little detail you manage to include in your fic. The way your main plot and your sub plots are entwined is remarkable. You kept me guessing the whole time and each chapter, while it answers some of my questions, raises a whole lot more. I can only read one or two chapters every other day so it will probably take me another month to finish your fic but I can tell you now that I'll start reading its sequel as soon as I'm finished with this one. Your characterisation are brilliant. I especially love Neville, there's so much to him while he still remains the insecure, shy boy JK introduced to us in SS/PS. And Maeve is just extraordinary. It's like she's always belonged into the potterverse. She's so likeable but also has her flaws, I love how we get to know more and more of her past as the story continues. Snape is also very IC, your fic has made me like him, even though he isn't exactly a nice person. Are you Irish or are you just interested in the country? I myself love Ireland since I lived there as part of an exchange for nine months last year. Anyway, I'm off to read the next chapter. ~Ilka

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing, Ilka! I had great fun with the characters, they're all so good to me that they made it easy. Neville is a delightful character and, for me, one of the stars of the books. Another Snape convert! Hee hee...it's my mission in life to convert everyone to Snape. :-) I am Irish, but grew up in England. Needless to say, I go back a fair bit and am very familiar with the history and mythology. Hope you enjoy the rest of the fic and the sequel.... the sequel is a little more gloomy, what with the war and everything... but it still has its light moments.

What a sad and beautiful story. I loved every sentence of it! The beginning was great and your descriptions during the wedding reception scene were superb.

"It's beautiful out here," she whispered.

"Yes," Harry replied softly, staring into his wife's eyes intently, "it certainly is."

Your description up to this point was already fabulous and created a wonderful atmosphere, but these two lines of simple dialogue captured the mood even more perfectly. I don’t know why, but the simple words they use here in contrast to the rather elaborate picture your description paints made the atmosphere seem even more real and tangible.

I like how Ron doesn’t leave Hermione alone on such a painful day, but tries to help her deal with the loss of Harry, even though he himself is still trying to deal with it. Dancing with Hermione next to her and Harry in her pensieve must have been hard on him, seeing Harry alive in her memories and yet knowing that he is dead can’t have been easy, but it shows what a great friend Ron is and how strong his friendship with Hermione and Harry is.

The night air was absolutely perfect. There was not a cloud in the sky, and hundreds of tiny candles emitted a warm glow apon the wedding guests smiling faces.

There’s a small typo in this sentence, ‘absolutely’ is spelled with the ‘e’ after the ‘t’. Then in the second sentence it should be ‘upon’, not ‘apon’ that word doesn’t exist as far as I know.

During their seventh year, Hermione and her close friends said 'I love you' to each other almost everyday. It became a natural thing for them to say to each other…

Maybe this is just me, but I find it really hard to picture Ron, Harry and Hermione saying ‘I love you’ to each other all the time. It sure shows how friendship can grow into real love when Harry suddenly changes the words slightly, but I find it a bit hard to believe.

"Hey," Ron said quietly as he saw her eyes open. "How are you doing?" he asked cautiously. He knew this was her first anniversary without Harry.

I feel the last sentence of this paragraph is slightly redundant. Of course Ron would know that it’s their anniversary and with Harry dead for only a few months I don’t think he could forget either that or that Hermione is alone on the anniversary.

I didn’t mean to sound like I didn’t like your story, because I honestly did. It’s very emotional and made me incredibly sad, but your writing is also very beautiful!

Thank god Hannah is alright! Is it just me or was that bit of accidental magic she did to counter the charm quite strong? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it seems fitting that Ron and Hermione’s daughter should be quite powerful because both her parents are powerful in their own way.

I loved how Ron took charge of the situation and didn’t freeze. When it comes down to it Ron has always been dependable in the books and this wouldn’t be any different. I liked how you tied this incident back to the books by mentioning how terrified he was of spiders but went into the Forbidden Forest with Harry to save Hermione.

Now St. Mungo’s: We don’t know a lot about how it works and how you are admitted there, so there are hardly any rules we have to follow in creating it. You portrayed St. Mungo’s very believable and managed to give some sort of character to the hospital and its employees (especially the receptionist and her Witch Weekly were hilarious) without taking the focus off of Ron, Hermione and Hannah. The hospital shop or whatever it is where Ron and Arthur went to get the coffees was also nicely done and fit into the magical environment perfectly.

I’m glad Ron started to think about some of the issues with Miranda and Hermione even before Arthur talked to him, but I can’t help but love Arthur all the more for trying to make Ron see what is right in front of his eyes, but not dictate what he should do. I imagine it can’t be easy for Arthur to stay objective, especially when everyone else around him has taken sides and I do believe he would have taken Hermione’s side anyway.

What I liked most about this chapter was how Ron didn’t decide who to trust based on what he could lose with either decision, but that he wanted to decide based on who lied to him. That is a big step from his character during his years at Hogwarts where he often made rash decisions and didn’t actively seek out the truth, but it shows how much he has matured and that he isn’t the little boy he was back then anymore.

Nice chapter! I’m curious to find out how Miranda will react to the news that Ron stayed at St. Mungo’s with Hermione and that no one thought to take her there with them to see Ron.

Oh this is finally picking up speed. I like what you did with Miranda. I can so totally see her being this nasty but putting up a front for Ron, because he wouldn’t want to even be friends with her if he knew how she really was. We could glimpse this behaviour of hers before when Ron said it was Miranda who made him see that a long-distance relationship never works out and I like that you put this clue in one of the previous chapters (can’t remember which) as a hint to Miranda’s character and now elaborated on it and showed those of your readers that picked up on your comment before that we were right in thinking Miranda wasn’t as sweet and nice and she tried to make people believe she was.

Compliments for your handling of Hermione in this chapter. I liked her a lot and think you managed to keep her in character well while making her older and more mature. I like that she didn’t let her tears fall in front of Miranda and held her head high even though she wanted to cry. That’s a huge step for Hermione, because in the books she usually runs away from these kinds of situations (in first year when some girls insulted her and she overheard, in sixth year when Ron and Lavender made out after the Quidditch match), but it shows how she has matured since leaving Hogwarts and becoming a mother.

I’m not too fond of Ginny eavesdropping on Hermione’s conversation with Miranda. I think she would respect her friend’s privacy and maybe ask her later if she wanted to talk about it, but not invade Hermione’s privacy and use Extendable Ears. I did like that it was Ginny who suggested setting Miranda up and making her look bad and that she had to convince Hermione. That’s something I can see Ginny do and think up, but Hermione would never come up with such a plan and would need someone like Ginny to convince her to go along with it.

She didn't know why she felt so apprehensive; though [she] knew she shouldn't be feeling this way. In the second part of this sentence it should read ‘though she knew she shouldn’t’, I inserted the missing pronoun in brackets in the right place.

Hermione made her way to her room, Ginny following, feeling quite stunned at her friend. You used a wrong preposition here and because of it I’m not quite sure what you wanted to say. Did you mean that Ginny is ‘feeling quite stunned by her friend’s behaviour’ or ‘by her friend’s words’? Any way the preposition should be ‘by’ not ‘at’.

She wasn't happy with the idea of purposely sabotaging Ron’s relationship with the other girl, no matter how much she despised Miranda. You forgot to put the ‘s here that connects Ron’s name with the word ‘relationship’.

I liked this chapter a lot and am really curious to see what Ginny and Hermione will do to make Miranda lose face.

When I started reading this chapter I was prepared to give Miranda a chance, to not dislike her on principle, but I can’t. She seemed like a nice enough girl at first, but then there came this one line, that made me downright hate her: He had told Miranda all about her. In fact, it had been her who had made him realise long-distance relationships never worked, she had even helped him write the final letter to Hermione, the love of his life … or so he thought. Ron makes her sound like such a nice person, but I can’t help but feel that she had an ulterior motive in convincing Ron that long-distance relationships never work, why else would she now be dating him only a few months after convincing him to break up with Hermione? And what’s with the hugging Hermione as if they’re friends? That’s just wrong!

I loved how Hermione and Miranda tried to outdo each other by reminiscing their experiences with Ron and Harry and how both guys were completely clueless as to what was going on. That set me right back to the HP books and connected both characters with their school!selves, especially Ron needed to be connected to his teenage years, because he has done a lot of growing up in your story.

I also loved Molly and Arthur’s reaction. Arthur excitement about who Miranda’s father is was typically Arthur and Molly reprimanding him and trying to get him to not be friendly to the woman who stole Hermione’s man was just too funny. Molly and Ginny would, of course, be on Hermione’s side, especially after they have helped her with Hannah for so long. Molly’s reaction was very IC.

What I thought was slightly off was Hermione’s watch. Is this a Muggle watch and she set the alarm on a specific time? Why not use something more magical? Maybe a new hand on the Weasley family clock that suddenly moves and points to Hannah having to be fed but that neither Ron nor Harry really pay attention to? That would, in my opinion, blend in with the whole magical world better than a regular watch.

All things considered I really liked this chapter. I can’t wait for Miranda’s reaction when Ron tells her that he has a daughter!

Looks like I’m the first SBBCer to review, so I guess I should also tell you that your story is being discussed in the SBBC over on the beta boards now and will be for the next few weeks. If you’re interested in what we have to say about it, you’re more than welcome to have a look at the discussion threats. Here’s the link to the first one: http://fanfiction.mugglenet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4960

I like the way you set the scene for the party. You capture the atmosphere of the Burrow’s garden nicely by showing what each of the Weasley children experienced there or what it was to them (a refuge for Percy, Ginny’s birthplace, the place where Charlie kept his rabbit). The set up for the party sounds like a typical event organised by Molly Weasley, a table full of food dominating the garden, everything cooked by her personally, I’d wager.

Ron seems to have grown up quite a bit, seeing the way he is concerned about Hermione and how hard he thinks about the consequences for their relationship his going away will have. The situation that showed his maturity best was his conversation with Ginny, although at times, he seems almost too mature. It’s nice to see that he will miss Ginny and that they’re really close, but shouldn’t he at least pretend to be slightly annoyed with her when she puts her fingers into his slice of cake and smears some of it on his nose? Depending on what mood he is in, my brother maybe wouldn’t be really angry, but he would at least pretend to be ticked off and certainly not thank me. That seemed to be weird behaviour for siblings, regardless of how close they are and how much they will miss each other, teasing each other to me is an integral part of Ron and Ginny’s relationship. One more thing that seemed odd about Ron and Ginny’s conversation to me was that Ron complimented her on her hair. Would the Ron we all know and love really notice his little sister’s new haircut? I don’t think so, I don’t think he even pays close attention to her hair which he would have to do in order to notice the changes.

I loved Luna’s ‘feeling in her left foot’! It’s just something I could see Luna say and it made me giggle just now when I read it. Luna and Neville make a cute couple and you basically captured the essence of their relationship in this short passage where we see them talking to Ron.

Last but not least Hermione: Writing letters every day? Yes that does sound like something Hermione would want and do. I hope Ron doesn’t disappoint her, but I really can’t imagine him writing a letter every day for more than a few weeks. Hermione seems to be taking this separation pretty hard, harder than she should, maybe, because you said earlier that they have a strong relationship, shouldn’t she trust in that strength to help them deal with two years of separation? But then again, Hermione might be rational, but in those kinds of situations she’s just like everyone else and I liked seeing this almost insecure, emotional side of her.

So far I like your story, let’s see what the next chapter will bring.^^

I’m so glad Miranda is finally out of the picture, but in a way I also feel sorry for her knowing what I know about her childhood now. It can’t have been easy for her to grow up without any real friends, only surrounded by adults. I can almost understand her need to hold onto Ron and even her lies seem more a measure to protect herself from heartache than malicious behaviour towards Hermione. Letting Miranda leave like that, after making the readers feel slightly sorry for her, is very well done and gives her character more depth and makes her more believable, very nice.

His time in America had given birth to new freckles that now lived amongst the old ones she had loved so much. I don’t know why, but I loved this line, it just made me smile. And Hermione wearing Ron’s old shirt to bed and not even realizing it was just too cute! Ron telling her to keep it seemed a bit too predictable, but a nice touch nonetheless.

Hermione seems a lot more comfortable around Viktor than Ginny and I couldn’t help but wonder why that is. She’s around Ginny every day and only sees Viktor seldom, but she asks Viktor what she should do about Ron, while still denying wanting him back in front of Ginny.

Hermione’s reaction to Ron breaking up with Miranda also seemed a bit over the top. While I agree that she would be happy to be rid of her, I would have thought she wouldn’t want Ron to come to her right away, because that could mean he was just using her as a way to forget Miranda. I would have expected her to know and accept that Ron would need some time to himself and not expect him to ‘snog her senseless’, it just doesn’t seem like a very Hermione-ish thing to do.

I liked this chapter a lot, not least because of Ron and Hermione’s talk in the kitchen and the new closeness between them. Now that Miranda is out of the picture I’m curious to see what Ron will do to get Hermione back.

Oh my! I hope Hannah isn’t too badly hurt! You know I wondered why you mentioned Ron’s wand so often during Ron and Hermione’s argument, but I would have never guessed that Hannah could unwittingly use it on herself. Very nice cliffhanger!

Once again I have to comment on Ginny’s character. I like how she wasn’t as pushy in this chapter as she was when she suggested the plan to get rid of Miranda for instance. She still seemed to think it funny that Hermione slapped her, but she also understood or at least tried to understand what Hermione was going through and how guilty she felt over slapping the other woman.

Ron and Hermione’s fight/talk was well written as well. I especially liked how Ron has problems trusting Hermione and rather believes Miranda’s word, even though he obviously wants to believe Hermione. I like that Hermione not telling him about Hannah is still impacting him and that he hasn’t forgiven her for it yet. It’s a big thing and of course it will be hard for him to learn to trust her again after something like this.

What I didn’t get was why Miranda was only treated by Molly the next morning. If you’re slapped your cheek isn’t red anymore after you slept a whole night, that’s just not how it works. On another note I also would imagine Ron to be the type who would go as far as wake his mother up so she can have a look at Miranda at once. I realize that you needed this scene to take place the next morning for Harry and Ginny to be there to talk to Hermione first, but it’s still a bit of a plothole that Miranda still has a handprint on her cheek the next day and that Ron didn’t have it looked at at once.

"A-HA!" Ron shouted, pointing his finger at Hermione in triumphant. This should either be ‘triumphantly’ or ‘in triumph’, the word ‘triumphant’ as you have used it is and adjective and completely wrong in this place.

"You're unbelievable … if you're too stubborn to understand why I kept Hannah a secret, too one-minded to take Miranda's side over mine and too blind to see that I lo-" This sounds to me as if Hermione is accusing Ron of taking her side over Miranda’s and being too stupid to see that Miranda is right, the opposite of what you wanted to say. Maybe ‘too one-minded to see through Miranda’s lies’ would work better and be clearer.

Nice work on this chapter. Here’s to hoping Hannah will be fine and her parents will get closer through her accident, bad as it sounds.

I normally try to stay away from fics written in first person, but it's a nice change from the third person fics I normally read. You're doing a good job of describing everything going on without overdoing it and telling us things that no normal person would notice. However in some instances I would use plainer verbs to say what Hermione is doing, she probably wouldn't be aware of the way she walks as much as of the way someone else walks. That's the case with me anyway^^

I like how you brought Viktor into your fic. Although he just breaks up with Hermione it's nice to know that they were still dating and writing letters. Krum, by the way, is only written with one m.

I think you kept Hermione in character most of the time. Having her not tell her parents about the break-up was like her, but I don't think she would have written to both Harry and Ron about the break-up right away. I don't think this would be something she would like to share with them, especially if you consider the big fight Ron and Hermione had about him and Lavender in book 6. She would perhaps have told Ginny, because she is going through the same thing and I think Hermione would want to talk to a girl about it, if she would talk to anyone.

Lionel is intriguing me and I'd like to see more of him. I'm curious to find out what he is hiding and why his dad didn't want him to talk to Hermione. What was the smell of gasoline about anyway? Very mysterious indeed.

Hi Miel!

The only other fic of yours I read is El Gaunt Herencia, so I decided to try something different and not go for THe Healer first. Your prologue intrigued me and I can't wait to see what'll happen to Sirius. I love the Blacks and everything about them, so your promise that this will partly be about the mysteries surrounding their family made me want to read this even more.

The atmosphere you create in the first few paragraphs with the prophecy and Orion's thoughts was really well done and gave the story a mythical and mysterious feel. I like the idea that the Blacks call a seer every time a child is born, that sounds like something they'd definitely do. THe prophecy made it seem as if Sirius is destined to do something really important, I'm curious what role he will have to play in the history of his family.

Nadine vowed to raise her beloved first-born child as a proper Black. The child will be strong as is common to all Black heirs, she can feel it. You changed tenses here, even though it wasn't necessary to do so. The second sentence won't lose any of its power if you put it in past tense as well, so that's what I'd do, so it doesn't disrupt the flow of your story.

There's a definite change in pace when Sirius and Regulus appear, but you still manage to keep the mysterious atmosphere from the beginning of the story, this keeps your fic consistens and makes it seem like two parts of a whole and not just two separate scenes without any relation to each other. Sirius' character is very well done. I like it that he was mischievious and slightly reckless even as a little kid, his thirst for adventures won't just have appeared when he met James but it would have been there before as well. Regulus is well done as well. If Sirius is six years old at that point in the story, I'd venture a guess that Regulus is four or five, so it's believable that he would let Sirius be the one in charge and follow him, even though he has slight reservations against doing something their parents don't want them to do. I think it's ok for him to go with Sirius, even though he doesn't want to, because what four year old doesn't do what his older brother says?

There are a few instances where you use 'that' in which I think you could leave them out, but it doesn't disrupt the flow of your story.

I really want to know what object Sirius was playing with and what has happened to him, so that's all you get for the prologue^^ Nice beginning, it has me hooked already.

~Ilka

The object? some people interpreted it as some sort of time turner. I myself just made it up but I guess it would be an older version of that.