A fabulous conclusion to a wonderful story. I love how the title of the last chapter is symbol for what happens not only in this chapter, but also in the whole story. Dawn, to me, symbolizes the beginning of something new, but also the end of something. For Remus this means that he can finally put his past behind him, in a way make peace with his father and start something new, allow someone new close to him.

Edouard’s letter was perfect. I would have thought it unbelievable had he told Remus how sorry he was in his letter and tried to make excuses. The way you wrote it, it was in keeping with what you showed us of Edouard before. He might have realised some of his mistakes, but not the full extent, and he is, even while writing a letter he will never send, essentially still running away and hiding. I love how my prediction about Abraxas Malfoy came true, I truly didn’t remember that. *giggles*

The hospital scene was very emotional, even more emotional than the rest of the story. It touched me deeply, but I’m missing the words to describe how exactly it made me feel. It was by far the most emotional part of the whole story.

The first meeting of Remus and Tonks was like a ray of sunlight in a dark room, it lightened this otherwise very depressing chapter considerably. I really like the way Sirius letter and Remus’s request she read it with Albus Dumbledore present can be tied into canon to mark the point in time in which Tonks learns about and joins the Order of the Phoenix. That was a very good and unique idea. Tieing all of this in with HBP in the final scene was brilliant. Finally Remus allows someone in again and here he shows how different from his father he is and that Evey did have an influence on his character, even after all the badness he went through in his life.

A brilliant piece of writing that truly deserves recognition. You’re a very gifted writer.


Author's Response: The hospital scene is something that is very personal to me, too. Again, rereading this chapter, I am pleased with how I wrote the hospital scene. As I finished writing this chapter, I watched someone finish that last weeks of their life. It\'s really hard to describe what I felt, which is probably why it\'s so hard to put a word to how you feel about the hospital scene. I\'ll try to describe something for you here, though. Death Cab for Cutie, in their \'Plans\' album, sings \'What Sara Said\' (Track 9). The song is about someone about watching someone die slowly in the hospital, similiar to the way Evey died. If you can listen to the song, great, but if you can\'t, the line that sums the hospital scene up is \'Love is watching someone die.\' Coming from experience, it really is true. You don\'t watch someone die because they can do anything for you, you can do anything for them, because other people want you there, or because that person owes you something. You watch someone die that slow death because you love them. I\'m glad you liked Tonks coming in at the end. I didn\'t know if that huge jump in time would work, but I guess it did. Remus accepting Tonks is him turning away form that life Edouard led. Remus had the potential to lead that lonely life, but he chooses not do it. Remus accepts Tonks, who is free spirited like Evey, and he lets that love back into his life, which brings him full circle. I will be so pissed if Tonks and/or Remus die in DH.

Oh, finally Marie-Antoinette is fighting back! I never would have thought she could be this devious, asking her house-elf to do all the work so Pomy won’t have anything to do is bordering on being cruel. Pomy deserves nothing more though, she did nearly let Marie-Antoinette starve and treats her horribly, I have no sympathy for that elf at all.

And Marie-Antoinette and James finally had a somewhat civil conversation. So James has to tell Lestrange everything he does with his money? Sounds like Lestrange is afraid he might use his wealth to finance a resistance or something like that. What I don’t understand is why Lestrange would just leave James to his life if he is so afraid of what James could do when given half a chance, it doesn’t really make sense. If I were in Lestrange’s shoes I would have either put Sirius and James in prison or have them killed, the way things are they could do any number of things to harm him and his Dark Lord. I just hope he doesn’t have them followed and knows about their meetings with the Marauders, but if he keeps an eye on what James spends his money on I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that he has him followed as well.

Lali is like a breath of fresh air in that cold, dreadful house. A house-elf is not as good as a friend, but at least there’s someone there now who talks to Marie-Antoinette and keeps her company. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with a house-elf and a stranger who hate you with no contact to the outside world.

I loved the Gryffindor colours in the living room, I can’t wait to see Lestrange’s reaction when Marie-Antoinette invites him and Bellatrix over for dinner and they see it. James’s reaction, too, will be priceless, I imagine.

I love the dinner scene at the Lestranges. Marie-Antoinette and James’s interactions don’t really offer much mystery anymore, but the interactions between the Lestranges and the Malfoys were fascinating in this scene. Compared to Lucius Malfoy, Rodolphus Lestrange seems even more refined and manipulative. I have always imagined it to be the other way around with these two and thought of Rodolphus as more like Bellatrix, but I enjoy seeing/reading a different take on their characters and the way you write them is entirely believable.

The more I see of Bellatrix the more I hate her, I have to admit. Not the way you characterise her, that’s great, but I hate her as a character. Somewhere along the line I started to feel for Marie-Antoinette and now I care for her so much that it makes me hate Bella on principle. I did very much enjoy to see her interact with her husband though, seems she really only hates Marie because she feels somehow inferior to her as she does to her husband.

I hope you don’t mind that I only comment on characterisation in this review, but there was so much in that area that stood out to me that I want to say, so bear with me, please: Narcissa is a delightful character. Again totally different than I usually imagine her, much less reserved and haughty, for example, but a joy to read. I’m glad Marie-Antoinette has finally found someone in whose presence she feels comfortable and who she can talk to without a fight. And I’ll be forever grateful to Narcissa for telling her that James and Sirius actually did end up in Azkaban for their involvement in the war, finally someone is giving us some more information to work with.

Lastly I have to say that I don’t quite understand how Marie-Antoinette went from wanting people to stop walking all over her to wanting power. That seems a very big leap to me and I can’t really understand how she imagines that she can actually get power much less why she wants it. And I don’t see why all of the sudden she wants to get close to James Potter, if anyone I would have thought Sirius would catch her fancy, but certainly not James.

Anyway, this chapter was really nice and I enjoyed getting an insider’s look into Lestrange’s thoughts and plans.

I have to say I’m glad Marie-Antoinette didn’t follow Bella’s advice and hired Lily, that would have been more than awkward and I don’t think Lily would have taken orders from Marie-Antoinette after finding out that she is James’s new wife. Obviously that was Bella’s plan, though, and it is for that very reason that Lily was the only single mother, but Bella didn’t figure that Marie-Antoinette would question her advice. I also agree with Lali that choosing a younger chambermaid is a good idea. I can’t imagine how someone would feel having to serve and obey a girl ten years younger than oneself. But I do feel sorry for Lily and James, had Marie-Antoinette taken Bella’s advice they would have been together again and Harry wouldn’t have to grow up without his father.

I feel very sorry for Pomy after reading this chapter. I wonder how Marie-Antoinette can stand to be so cruel to her. I thought the plan great at first, but Pomy is obviously miserable and close to crying all the time, I can’t imagine how Marie-Antoinette can stand looking at her and making her even more miserable.

And Dumbledore is back, I wonder how he will continue the fight and what role James will play in it, and Marie-Antoinette, of course.

I don’t have a lot to say about this chapter, I’m still curious to see what will happen next and my questions haven’t been answered yet .

I was very surprised to find out that Marie-Antoinette had a boyfriend. He wasn’t mentioned at all in the prologue and from what the headmaster said about her having only one friend in the school, I thought she’d be shy around boys and not dating at all. Then at first it sounded as if she and Olivier had been together for ages, when in reality it had only been three weeks. I’m a little confused about the time line here. How long after the prologue is the first chapter set? I had expected it to be three weeks to a month, but I can’t believe that Marie-Antoinette would start dating someone after Lestrange told her he would arrange her marriage. But if it wasn’t that long then everything happened quite fast. As I said, I’m a bit confused about that.

When Marie-Antoinette broke up with Olivier I would have liked to see a bit more emotion from him. He seemed to just accept everything without questioning anything she said. I would have at least expected him to feel betrayed when she tells him she’s engaged and ask her if she was only playing with him or what that was about, something like that. But he seems to know that none of this was her choice from the beginning, even though she doesn’t tell him. I think the scene could have done with a lot more emotions. And Marie-Antoinette, too, could have reacted less calm when she first got back to her dorm.

Wow, I’m really surprised to see James and Sirius all rich and powerful seeming in that waiting room. That is who the two men are, right? I want to know what happened with them and how they fit into all this more than ever now. I would have imagined them being kind of shunned after fighting with Dumbledore, but the more I see the more I doubt that they did actually fight with Dumbledore, although I can’t see why they wouldn’t

Seems I had more to say than I thought. So many mysteries to solve, so many questions to answer, I’m curious to find out what happens next.

Author's Response: ...First time someone points out I messed up the time line here. They've been dating since the beginning of the year, i.e. about a month and a half; I simply forgot the time gap between the prologue and first chapter. Needs correcting. The lack of emotions is precisely something I'd been aiming for, especially from Olivier. He's like that -- not showing at all what he feels, and not fighting much for what he wants. As for Marie-Antoinette, the emotional numbness was also what I was aiming for; it's an important part of her character. She's not very likeable yet -- too fatalist, too submissive, etc. She'll grow up. As for the mystery surrounding James and Sirius -- see you in chapter 6. :)

*huggles Anna* Hi dearest SPEW-buddy! I really enjoyed reading this story. I especially liked the struggle for power between Bellatrix and Rodolphus. At first it looks like Bella is domineering and Rodolphus can do nothing but surrender to her, but in the end, when the box is empty, we find out that it was actually Rodolphus playing Bella, or at least withholding information from her, the whole time. She might have killed him, but in the end he won, because she didn’t get what she came for and Voldemort will surely punish her for her failure to bring him the locket. I wonder why Rodolphus was supposed to have the locket in the first place. Did Voldemort send him to retrieve it, or did he want to destroy it?

I love how it all comes back to Rodophus’s eyes. The other children being afraid of him and then meeting Bella who didn’t show any fear, who didn’t even seem to notice how strange his eyes were. I can imagine how that, as well as her fearlessness and strength, could have drawn him to her and made him marry her, even though he never loved her. At first I was wondering, why you would describe his eyes in so much detail, when he doesn’t even have them open, but later I understood that his eyes and people’s reaction to them, formed his character and influenced the choices he made. And since this one-shot is primarily about exactly those things, and the realization that he would have done things differently if he could, is at the heart of this story, it is only natural for his eyes to play a central role in the story.

I like how you start the story from an outsider’s POV, then change to Rodolphus’s POV and end it with an outsider’s POV again. Although the first paragraph was a bit vague and slightly misleading, it created the atmosphere for what was following. However, to the inhabitants of the little place, it was more than ordinary. This sentence to me suggested that there are more than one inhabitants of the hut, but Rodolphus seems to be alone until Bella arrives, who certainly didn’t live there with him. Or aren’t you talking about the inhabitants of the hut at all, but about other people who live close by? This sentence really confused me.

He thought back to when he was a little boy, when he had wandered removed the out to avoid repetition foolishly outside his manor and met a group of males his age. This was another sentence that confused me. The whole middle segment from ‘removed’ to ‘foolishly’ doesn’t make sense to me, I actually have no clue what it says. This might just be me, but I felt that there were some words missing in there.

I enjoyed reading this immensely, especially the ending. It made me laugh, because Bella was so sure of herself the whole time, feeling superior and all, but she never even checked to see if the box held what she had come for. Serves her right!


Author's Response: *hugs back* Thank you for that lovely review, dear! I\'m very flattered that you payed special attention to the eyes and noticed how they prepare the way for the rest of the fic. I spent a great deal on them, because I wanted to reinforce how important eyes actually are. They\'re one of the first things a person notices. The hut was a special place for Death Eaters to seek refuge. It was one of many. Rodolphus knew he was doomed so he didn\'t go to extra lengths to hide himself. As for that other sentence that you mentioned...*blushes* that is just part of what my beta suggested and I didn\'t delete it when I sent the story in. *goes to fix that* Thanks again!

Beth, I can’t believe this is your first D/A story. It completely blew me away. How you took those two tiny quotes and made such an exciting, dramatic story out of them is simply amazing. I had no images of these particular characters in my mind from reading the books and have never come across them anywhere else, but now I’ll definitely remember their names. Both were very well characterised and I especially liked how they contrast each other with Marlene being strong, courageous and fighting to the end and Travers being weak, a bit cowardly and with him giving up without a fight in the end. They played off each other very well. The bitter end of both of them just added to the sad and haunting atmosphere of the story.

I adored how you alternated passages told in 3rd person POV with those in 1st person POV and kept the identity of the 1st person narrator hidden until the very end. It created suspense and the 1st person passages made the killings seem even more horrifying than the account of the murders already had. Plus finding out at the end that the 1st person narrator who has just found the bodies and is disgusted with the display is also the murderer was a perfect twist.

On the subject of twists I also have to mention Travers trying to fight the Imperius curse when it is placed on him a second time. For a while there I thought there was still hope left for Marlene and Travers, that they could maybe escape or that at least one of them could. Travers not being able to fight the curse and thus sealing Marlene’s fate was a brilliant twist and it made the story all that much darker.

I don’t have any concrit to offer you, you did such a brilliant job with this story, I doubt I could find anything that could be improved. *huggles*

I randomly clicked on your story in the most recent column, but I’m really glad I did. Even though only the first chapter is up, I’m already in love with your OC. The first few paragraphs and his slightly feral, almost animal like behaviour in his dream, intrigued me and made me like him, after that I fell more and more in love with him as the chapter went on. There’s this awesome strength in him, but he also seems vulnerable and unsure of himself at times. I admire that he told Remus about his dreams and asked for help in understanding them. It’s not easy to ask for help, especially if you have great powers, like he seems to do, and if you’re used to doing things on his own.

Your plot is intriguing as far as I can tell from only reading the first chapter, but I will definitely come back for more. The atmosphere you created while Remus and Tim were in his mother’s house is perfectly chilling. The emptiness of the house and then the mysterious cellar with the book, I’m really curious where you’re going with this. It promises to be interesting in the very least.

I like your writing style. It has a consistency to it that makes your writing flow perfectly. There wasn’t one section where I had to stop reading or read a sentence twice, the sections of the chapter joined together seamlessly.

During the dream sequence you alternatively call the stranger ‘he’ or ‘it’. This is a bit confusing at times, so I would suggest either going with ‘he’ or with ‘it’, but not mixing the two of them.

His mother was a Muggle, she had known nothing of the magical community until he had been invited to study at Hogwarts, and yet… she must’ve have known something. ‘Must’ve’ is already an abbreviation for ‘must have’, if you use it you don’t need to put ‘have’ after it.

Torches burned on the wall and the wall were washed blue and grey, somewhat reminiscent of a storm at sea, in the silence the sound of water wafted over the room, though what made the noise was unapparent. First off, I would split this sentence into two, because it has the possibility of being a run-on sentence as it is. There is a perfect place to split it before ‘in the silence’, because after that you talk about sounds and before you talk about colours and what your characters see. For the part about the walls I would also suggest not putting ‘the wall’ twice in such close proximity. You could for example say: ‘Torches burned on the walls, which were washes blue and grey, somewhat reminiscent of a storm at sea.’ This is not perfect, but you get the idea of what I want to say.

I love this story so far and it’s going straight to my favourites so I won’t miss any updates!

I love how you start and end your story with a letter, it ties up all the loose ends and, especially the part of the letter used as the beginning, made me very curious as to what this painting depicts and why it should be of interest to the Hogwarts’ Headmaster. To end the story with the last part of the letter was a nice way to end an autobiography, because the narrator obviously can’t continue telling his story until his death, that’s just not possible, and this way the story came full circle and left nothing to be desired, no loose ends to be tied up and no questions as to what happened to the narrator and the painting after its end.

So why did I feel like I had just sold my soul?
I was already curious after the unfinished letter at the beginning of the story, but after this line I couldn’t have stopped reading even if I had wanted to, I just had to know what would happen next and if his less than positive feelings would turn out to be right and he would pay dearly for accepting the commission. This line created a lot of suspense and even though Mr. Fitzgerald didn’t appear again, I wasn’t disappointed, because in a way he really sold his soul seeing as there was as much of Helen in the portrait as there was of him and it was the best portrait he painted in his life and the most important to him, at least that’s the feeling I got in the end.

That also leads me to the magic used to ‘bring the portrait to life’. Breathing on the portrait to bring it alive seems such a mundane but yet magical thing to do, it’s perfect. I also liked that no one knows what the spell actually means anymore, it makes portrait painting seem like an ancient, almost lost art.

I have a soft spot for beautiful descriptions and imagery and your story, especially the part when Phillipe sees Helen’s home for the first time, was full of both. I loved how you compared the house to a lion and the butler just fit perfectly with the imposing image of the house your words painted in my mind. That was one of my favourite passages.

The way you incorporate the French Revolution and the problems French people had to face after flying to England into the story was truly magnificent. The way Phillipe tells Helen the story, combined with his memories that he doesn’t vocalize seemed effortless and artless, just someone telling a story without looking for pity or glory or anything at all really. I liked that a lot, especially since he didn’t try to make himself sound like a hero or his life seem like a great tragedy, it made me actually feel more sorry for him and his family than I would have if he hadn’t just told a story but tried to gain something by telling it.

Two tiny nit-picks:
The track ended a plain wooded door painted a rather cheap looking, although expensive green. A small brass knocker with the gold plaiting slowly staring to chip sat in the center. In the first sentence it should be ‘the track ended at a plain wooded door’, I think. And in the second sentence I think you meant to write ‘starting’, instead of ‘staring’.

The sadness left her eyes in a blink so fast I could almost believed I had imagined it. After could you always have to put the infinitive, so this should be ‘I could almost believe’.

You’ve written a truly spectacular story here, congratulations on winning the challenge you wrote it for, you really deserved it!


Author's Response: Thank you very much for the lovely (and detailed) review! This is my favorite of my stories so I am always glad to know that it was appreciated. Also, thanks alot for the nitpicks- I must have gone over this a thousand times and my eye just skipped over those mistakes. (oops). I\'m glad that you thought Phillipe\'s retelling of his story worked. I wanted to talk about the revolution but I was really afraid of making it too preachy or like something out of a history book. People died, important and unimportant alike. I think that they all deserve to have thier story told. Anyway, thanks again for the kind words and catching my grammer mistakes! Merci beaucoup!

Anna! *huggles* I usually stay away from D/G one-shots, because I feel they don’t do the pairing justice, but you just proved me wrong. You capture the essence of my favourite ship with such effortless, beautiful prose and put so much emotion in it, I seriously about died while reading the last line. Perfect!

I’ve said it before, when reviewing Fatal Remorse, how much I love your imagery. With Fatal Remorse it was the eyes, here it is the Tango. I can do the basic Tango steps and don’t know much else about it or the steps you mention, but I could see them dancing in my mind and I still carry those images with me. I love how everything else just fades away once they begin their dance. I remember my dancing lessons, where everyone was watching the other couples and more aware of them than of their own partners, which is sad because it shows how little the dance means to them. But here everything around them fades and it’s just Draco and Ginny and their dance, that’s how it should be.

I’ve read through your story twice by now, trying to figure out how you manage to create this strong emotional tension between the characters. This fic was one of those ‘read the next line or die’ – stories. It has a lot to do with your style and word choice, just everything put together makes for a compelling read and while reading it makes everything else fade away, kind of what Draco and Ginny experience when they start to dance.

What I really liked was that you don’t explain their previous relationship. You don’t tell us countless trivial facts, not even how they got together in the first place, but let the tension between the two of them speak for itself. Anything more than the few lines of explanation you give, would have disrupted the flow of your story, it would have taken away from the magic of the moment and the dance and shifted the focus to the past. I’m glad you wrote it the way it is, as just a moment in time, not the whole story of their relationship. It’s also lovely open-ended, and I have to admit that I thought it would be a chaptered story at first, but now I’m glad that it’s not, because this ending is just perfect.

I feel like I haven’t been particularly helpful in this review, but I hope there is something in there that is of use to you.

*loves*


Author's Response: Ilka, this review totally made my day -- of course it was helpful! Thanks so much, love, for *SQUEE* writing such a wonderful one! *hugs* I\'m glad you liked it.