I'm 26 years old and happily married with one puppy and hopes of children in the not-so-distant future. My dear father is to blame for my frightening HP obsession, as he was the one who sent me the first 3 books in 1999, little knowing he was creating a monster!
That was hilarious! You are a great writer!
Author's Response: Thanks very much; I'm glad it made you laugh. =D
I think your story is creative, well-written, and FUNNY. A few off-color jokes, but hilarious nonetheless. And I don't think you've overdone it on the "big words" or written Harry & Hermione OOC -- isn't it supposed to be a spoof? They're great caricatures. Made me laugh out loud. Keep writing and don't change a thing!
Incredible story! Can't wait for more...
Author's Response: There'll be a new chapter up tonight, hopefully... :)
Well, I finally finished reading your story, and enjoyed it to the end - great suspense and unexpected twists! Now for the criticism… dun dun dun dun. I still absolutely love your concept, and the ending was very creative and well thought out, but I found it a bit disappointing – I guess that is just my preference as to what could have been done with this story. Also, you do have a nice, descriptive writing style, but towards the end I noticed a lot of unnecessarily long, convoluted sentences, especially in Harry’s thoughts; while some of your imagery, though very vivid, seemed out of place and I found it distracting. Overall, though, you had an excellent story idea and followed it through very well. I would definitely encourage you to keep writing! :-)
I LOVE your story! (I wish I wrote it - pouts). It is so much like a parable to me. Over and over in the books we see that Harry's greatest wish is to reverse all the terrible things that have happened to him (why me?), starting with his parents' death and the scar Voldemort gave him, and just be a normal wizard boy. And you give him his wish, but with a twist. At first Harry is ecstatically happy, having his parents and Sirius back, but as the story progresses he gradually realizes that the tragedy he once would have given anything to reverse is the very thing that made him the person he is today. He sees so many things he once took for granted, like his friends (I love what you did with Ron, Ginny, Neville, and especially Hermione). I really think JKR will bring Harry to this sort of realization throughout the next two books, leading him to accept who he is and still have the capacity to love despite incredible pain. She seems to have started this in the Pensieve, showing him that his father was less than perfect. Well, enough rambling - incredible story! The only criticism I can think of right now is that it needs some editing - and how do you pinch yourself hard enough to draw blood? :-)
Author's Response: What a complete and detailed review! I originally wrote it over at harrypotterfanfiction.com months ago and have just been transferring it over here. It was written of course before I discovered what beta reading was...lol. Going through my stories has been something I've been meaning to do but just haven't had a lot of time to read. The story is published in it's entirety over at hpff.com if you want to check it out there, but if you'd rather wait for installments I can understand that too. Thanks for your review!
Giggle, giggle, blush, blush, naughty Hermione! A little OOC but funny and well-written!
You have such great ideas! I loved Fred the ostrich, LOL! May I have permission to smack Ron upside the head?
Author's Response: Permission granted, Mellowdrama. Ron's head is your for the smacking! ^_~ It must be that Weasley pride kicking in...
Good job on Quidditch! I wanted to bang my head on the desk when Ron walked in on Harry and Ginny...
Author's Response: Yes, I think people are beginning to hate me for not letting that happen! But Harry has never gotten anything handed to him on a silver platter! He has to work for what he wants, and in the end, I bet he will be happy with what he gets!
Hi! I know that you are new at this so I just wanted to give some encouragement and feedback. I have scanned through several mediocre sixth-year stories and yours is one of two that has kept my attention. Your writing style is definitely colorful and engaging, but it lacks a certain polish. Little nagging errors in spelling and word usage jump out at me, and your dialogue is a little weak. Sorry my comments are so vague; after reading 20 chapters it is hard to pinpoint certain things, but that is my overall impression. I want to be honest with you because I recognize your talent and I think you deserve honest feedback. Please keep writing; I am anxious to read more! I really like what you have done with the characters so far. You really have great potential as a writer! (And of course, I consider every aspiring writer a kindred spirit. :-)
Author's Response: Ah, yes. I have been waiting for quite some time for someone like you to come along! First let me say THANK YOU for being so blatantly honest...any criticism is good, especially from a fellow writer. Writing is never rainbows and butterflies and I appreciate you writing this review. As an author, I cannot simply go on thinking that everything I do is perfect, because it is in fact NOT and like everyone else, I am always learning how to be better at something I love. As for my spelling *hehe* I think it is just my own little flaw...I get so excited about writing my next plot even that I tend to literally trip over my own words and then even when I go over the entire thing, I tend to miss stuff. I honestly read over the whole first eight chapters ten times without finding any mistakes, and yet I knew they were there because people kept making comments. Anyways, point being, I really appreciate your honesty with this situation and I hope that you can see the story for what it is, without a wonderful editor to help me out. Thanks again!
Here I am again! I liked the scene with Cho in the Owlery; it was quite touching. I can see Harry relating to her differently now that he understands what she's gone through, and her knocking his glasses off was a cute touch. (I didn't really like the fact that Ginny found it amusing, though. It seemed like a sensitive moment. Maybe she was just covering up her embarrassment.) The library scene made me want to jump through the screen and hit Ron! I really think he would have asked her this time, but the conflict makes it more interesting! Sorry I am sort of a tough critic, but again, you have a great story and lots of potential as a writer.
Author's Response: Ginny finds the whole Harry and Cho thing funny because she hasn't totally been filled in about their past, and has simply heard from other people that they had something going on. So it was a mixture of amusement at one of her friends being alone with a girl she thought he liked and also a bit of confused embarassment. And Ron is stubborn, but I assure you, he comes around. Hehe. Thanks again for your review and I hope you like the rest of it!
Awesome, a place for Goyle! My only question is: has he gotten any smarter? Not that it would matter for Quidditch (I hope), but according to Harry and Ron in previous books, he's as dumb as a rock. Anyway, great chapter. Hermione's observation about Harry liking Ginny was so cute! :-)
Author's Response: I think that's why he was placed in Gryffindor instead of the other houses. He's not overtly known for being smart, like you said, nor in the past has he been very kind to others, but he has been true and loyal as Malfoy's sidekick so naturally, once he had a change of heart, Gryffindor was the only place for him. Plus, he's not as dumb as Ron and Harry made him out to be...he just seemed that way because they disliked him so very much. Oftentimes, when we have problems with others, we tend to overlook the good sides of them that lay underneath. ^_^
Wow, this is getting better and better. I'm glad you put in the part about the Dementors. Your writing has improved a lot, too! Ron and Hermione are so cute! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: I find that my writing improves the more and more i do it! I'm glad to get such a great review from you, Mellowdrama! ^_^
Cute, nice writing style.
Wow. An exciting and touching tale. Can't wait for your next story to be posted!
Author's Response: It's called Ginny's Journey, and it's up. Thank you very much, all of you. Your kind words are more than I could ask for.
I love this story! You've captured Harry's dry wit perfectly and made him seem very real. Reminds me very much of one of my brothers, the same sarcastic humor that comes across in his emails. Write more! (Oh, and I love "Swapping with Snape" too.)
OK, I read the chapter. Funny!
Hey, I like this story. When do we get the next chapter? :-)
Wow, you have such a funny, quirky writing style! My favorite part is Ron turning Mrs. Norris into a duck... LOL! It cracks me up.
WOW! I sure didn't see that one coming!
Author's Response: ?????
Like my little twists and turns? Good. N