I'm 26 years old and happily married with one puppy and hopes of children in the not-so-distant future. My dear father is to blame for my frightening HP obsession, as he was the one who sent me the first 3 books in 1999, little knowing he was creating a monster!
The kiss, of course! (But I snuck ahead and read the rest on fanfiction.net)
Author's Response: I see. Hope you left a review. I still can't get the admin to upload next chapter. They say I am doubling up on chapters which I did for awhile but.... I will try uploading Ch 19 again. Thanks for the review. N
Hmmm, pretty intriguing so far. I like your writing style. Very few grammatical errors. Interesting fellow, this Peabody character - seems to like to hear himself talk, as many older people do.
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you'll read and enjoy the other stories I post. They are on other sites and I will be adding them to this site. N
OK, I guess it's time to let you know that I am enjoying your story! I do feel that is a bit dark and some situations are more mature than where I think Harry is now in his development. In this story Harry and Hermione both seem to talk and act more like they're 18 than barely 16. I do like the idea that Harry has decided it's time to grow up and explore the world around him, though. I love the concept of the chess board, too! You have some great ideas.
Author's Response: Well thank you for the constructive criticism and review. I will look it over again. I hope you will continue to read and review and I will be posting my other stories, starting with the series, Band of Gypsies. Actually after losing Sirius I think Harry is in a 'dark' mood. Natasha
Me again. Loving it! Can't stop reading. Hope you didn't misunderstand - I don't mind the story being dark, just that it didn't fit with my concept of the HP universe. But that doesn't even matter anymore - you've created some great OC's, new settings, an exciting plot, and enough weird and fascinating twists to keep me hooked!
Ooh, great twist! You had me convinced those two were getting together. Did Ron see?
Author's Response: Don't quite know where you are in the story. Did Ron see what? N
"When you were born your mother gave birth to you..." HA HA HA!!!! Drunk!Lupin always makes me laugh!
Author's Response: I'm glad the drunken lupin got you laughing. I did enjoy writing that one. Thanks for the review.
Please may we have another chapter... pretty pretty please?
Hilarious! I loved Uncle Vernon's mastery of grunting. Write more!
Author's Response: Not too many people can pull off those grunting skills. I've tried but it just isn't the same. Anyways... more is coming so thanks for the Review!
He he he, pretty good. Excellent spoof of JKR and fanfics!
Author's Response: Pretty good? I've heard worse I guess. just kidding... that's as good a complement as any. And I do enjoy the word exillent. Thanks for the Reveiw!
Wonderful, wonderful story! I love how you have portrayed Hogwarts through a Muggle adult's eyes. Your writing style is beautiful and Clancy is a very likeable, yet realistically flawed, character. Little glimpses of much-loved characters such as Harry and the Weasleys are a treat. And I love the whole music teacher/choir bit, especially the part with Eloise Midgen... I'm a singer/music lover myself and it reminds me a little of Mr. Holland's Opus. But most of all, I can't wait to see more of Snape... again, an intriguing portrait of this complex character through a woman's eyes! Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you for comments. This story is posted on several other sites, and you are the first reviewer to appreciate Eloise Midgen! I don't like the raw deal she has gotten in the books, so I decided to place her on a pedestal where she belongs.
I loved the water fight - "If you don't care for the way I look without trousers, then stop taking them off of me!" LOL!
I laughed out loud the entire chapter! Most amusing Snape story I've ever read! Keep it coming!
Author's Response: Music to my ears! Thank you!
Oh my goodness... ROFL... I can't decide which was funnier, hanging the picture with Lupin or Padfoot having a wizz on Snape!
Great story so far, but what's up with the Head Boy/Head Girl badges? I thought they were starting sixth year. Did you mean to make them prefects? I'm confused...
Author's Response: Sry to confuse you!!! They are in the sixth year. I'm pretty sure you can be a Head boy and Girl in sixth year. If I'm wrong, bear with me!! I just wrote the chapter with the veil and the character death...*sobbing* its sad. And will be out soon!!!
I really like the way you have started - I think your story has great potential. I like the fact that you are taking the time to develop your story. (Please keep an eye on your spelling though - the story itself seemed okay, but in your author's notes "weather" should have been "whether" and "greatful", "grateful". Errors like these may distract and/or annoy your readers.) Other than that - keep up the good work! Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thanks. You are absolutely right. It was 5:00 a.m. when I was writing this, so I wasn't exactly on top of things. Thanks for the encouragement.
Ooh, I'm excited... can't wait for more!
You have a beautiful writing style, and what I think is shaping up to be a great story. However, this chapter did not make sense to me. I just can't see Harry doing something like this. Blurting out a secret in the midst of a heated argument is easy to do, but this is a BIG secret, and the time and concentration required to write a letter would remove the element of spontaneity. Also, Harry has been shown to take great care in thinking his letters through - for example, deliberating whether or not to tell Sirius about his scar hurting, then second-guessing himself the moment he sent it. Lastly, it surprised me that Harry was ready to talk about the prophecy so soon, and to Hermione for that matter. He seemed quite reluctant to confide in her in OotP. That isn't to say you can't do things to develop their relationship, if you intend for them to become closer. But right at the beginning of the story, it didn't fit.
If you are using the letter as a plot device, there are other ways you could have the enemy learn of the prophecy.
Please don't misunderstand my criticism; I wouldn't take the time to do this if I didn't think your story had such great potential, and you do deserve honest feedback. The rest of the chapter was beautifully written. You are a very talented writer, but in my opinion some of your plot and characterization could be stronger.
Keep writing, no matter what anyone says! :-)
Author's Response: Wow! You're certainly a dedicated reviewer! Thanks!
I share your opinions on Harry writing the letter and am glad you noticed the inconsistencies. They will be explained in the next two chapters, although I'm starting to doubt wether my explanation will be sufficient ... you're certainly right on the fact that the letters were used as plot device and that it could have been done a little bit more gracefully ... ;)
I enjoyed this chapter. I like the way you developed Tom's history and made us sympathize with him - and it had a dark, creepy feel, too, like seeing Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars Episode II, because you know how he's going to turn out... Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Personally, this is my least favourite of all Tom chapters, but I'm glad you liked it!
Hmmm... intriguing. The prophecy thing makes a little more sense now. I like how you have characterized Dumbledore and Ollivander. Did you mean to use "apparatuses" instead of "apparels" (Dumbledore's office) and "penetrate" instead of "perpetrate" (the Dursleys' house)?
Please forgive me for acting like your own personal critic, but I really like your story!
Author's Response: Aha! I'm not a native speaker, you must know. Things like these happen.
I'm glad about your critism, really. Any kind of feedback is nice, and you point out important things.
Dumbledore and Ollivander are both highly important characters in this story ;)