I am a 30 year old teacher obsessed with HP. It's quite sad actually. My friends have threatened to disown me because of it. My favorite character is Snape and I believe he is good, so don't try to convince me otherwise. I write mostly about him because let's face it, the guy needs some lovin'.
Ok, that's just wrong! Killing off poor Snapey. Ellie and Lucius...gross!! I know I was warned but come on! Lol!
I absolutely love this story. I love that Slughorn died at the hands of their pineapple. BTW I was rereading HBP and noticed all the pineapple references. Hmm... Anyway, great story, I will be sad to see it end!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you didn't mind my killing Sluggy. Better him than Snape! :-)
That was silly, but funny. Those machines could drive someone to commit mass murder. I could see that. Good job.
Very emotional. I think it's totally reasonable and makes sense that Lucius and Narcissa had an arranged marriage, based on blood status. And her family probably wouldn't have wanted her to marry a half blood like Severus. This also explains why he made the Unbreakable Vow--because of his feelings for Narcissa. I liked this a lot. It was well written and you did a good job of conveying the raw emotions of the two of them.
Yay! I really liked this. It was romantic and sweet and a little smutty but not too much. You've done a great job with making the relationship between all the Marauders believable. I really believed that they were close friends and they seemed in character for the most part. Remus and Sirius' relationship was nicely done. It was obvious they had feelings for each other and I loved how Sirius wrote him that note in the end and asked him to come meet him. That was very sweet and romantic. I don't read a lot of slash, but I really liked this and found myself rooting for them to get together. Nicely done! : )
A great piece of angst. It was very sad that Ron had to die and Harry's anger and depression is totally realistic and expected. Harry and Hermione's relationship also came across as realistic. We often lash out at the people we love most when we are hurt. Very nicely done!
I actually think Snape is much more himself in this chapter than the last chapter and not at all squishy. He seems to be attracted to her, for sure, but he's not soft in any way. The explanations of Dumbledore's death were very touching. Poor Snape! I like that he was annoyed that she was able to get the healing potion when he couldn't. I just wonder why Hermione is so quick to believe him. In the last chapter she was ready to kill him and now she completely believes his story. Is it because she knew Dumbledore had to have some reason to trust him and wants to believe that Dumbledore was right? Anyway, good chapter and I'm off to read the next one. : )
Author's Response: I think the only thing I can say about her believing him so easily is that she wanted to believe him. She wants to believe that Dumbledore couldn\'t have been wrong, that Snape wouldn\'t have betrayed everyone and that Voldemort truly is holding him just as captive as her.
Oh wow, what a great chapter! I love that he lost control when he was trying to get answers from her. Lucky for them, he didn't get her to talk. Guess he forgot who was listening for a minute. I like that you have him becoming angsty and depressed, as he should be in this situation. And I guess Hermione didn't really trust him after all, which is understandable. The scene with Voldemort and Bellatrix made my skin crawl. She's quite manipulative. And poor Severus! I can't believe they took him. I fear for what's going to happen to him next. I hope you update soon! Great chapter.
Author's Response: I like Severus out of control. hehehe. I think that afer being in the cottage for so long and getting used to the way things are that you would tend to forget a lot of things, most especially that someone or something could be watching you. I think I have said this before in another review but Angst and Depression are my thing. I hope that I am able to accurately depict it in my story, as I take my cues from my own life and from those I have seen around me. Not so much the angst as the depression however. As for Bellatrix, I think I struggle with her the most because there is very little Canon about her to build on, and Voldemort, well, if he made your skin crawl then I say, Thank you, thank you very much.
This certainly was worth waiting for. This is just so well written. You are really descriptive and write great angst. The part where Hermione remembers her friends and worries about them is very sad. And I feel so bad for Severus, being imprisoned and tortured day after day. Now I'm intrigued by this imposter and scared for Hermione if he's going back to her. I'm also wondering what the hair cutting was all about. Somehow, it doesn't look good for Severus. Wonderful chapter. I loved it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for waiting, and I appreciate your compliments. I have never thought of myself at writing good angst, but it seems I am doing something right. I feel for Severus too, he is just getting so beaten up.. but let\'s see who else we can make feel sorry for him, hmmm. *insert evil smirk here* Thanks again. ~woomama
It is my mission in life to make people sympathetic to Snape. My medium is fanfiction. Together, Tina, we can take over the world! Mwa har har! Ahem...BTW I just realized what the hair was for. *facepalm* It's late and I was apparently having a blond moment. *blushes*
Author's Response: Our maniacal plan is in motion, Sara. We will not be defeated! BTW tell your muse to quit pouring her whiskey in your coffee cup. Love ya, Tina
Wow, this is definitely going in my favorites. I love your style. You are very descriptive and give the reader a clear picture of the setting and mood. Snape is in character and is his wonderful snarky self. I love the interaction between him and Bella. This line is priceless: “If my needs were being met I would have a wand in my hand and you would be laying dead at my feet, my dear. That is spot on Snape. I'm interested to find out how Voldemort discovered he wasn't loyal to him. Great start and I can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: RSF....woooooooo hoooooooooo....In your favorites? I am grateful. I have very little faith in my own work, but I am working on getting over that little quirk. As sick as it may sound, I am totally in love with snarky Snape. I don\'t think I would love him near as much if he were perfect and nice and happy all the time. There is something about the idea of all that snarkiness being funneled into his passion.. whew.. ok enough of that.. hehehe. Yes, he and Bella do seem to have a bit of a trade off going. I am not sure exactly what I was going for with this but it has taken on a life of it\'s own. I don\'t think there is much known about Bellatrix in Canon, but then I haven\'t done much investigating, preferring to just write her my own way. As for how Voldemort found out Severus wasn\'t loyal to him, in my fic I explain that Wormtail actually had to Imperio Snape to push him to kill Dumbledore. I don\'t believe this is actually what happened in Canon, I think we will find out that Snape did as Dumbledore ordered him. But in my fic I wanted him to be caught by Voldemort so that he could be put in the cottage. So Wormtail, once again, \"ratted\" someone out. I think that worked out well since in my opinion Voldemort was getting suspicious of Snape anyway, and that is why he put Wormtail at Spinner\'s End. I forgot to look and see which chapter you were reviewing, if it was only Chapter One, then I can\'t wait to see what you think of the other Five. Chapter Seven will be posted shortly.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Good chapter! I'm glad Hermione is finally coming around. Her reaction to Snape being there was good. You did a good job of conveying her anger and feelings of betrayal. And your theory on what really happened is so believable. I totally think that Dumbledore was already dying from that curse. That's why he went to the Dursleys and made sure Harry got to see all those memories. The only thing that bugged me about this chapter was that Severus seemed to be a little too happy. I would think he would be angry and annoyed at having her there, not be reading her poetry. I guess that being cooped up in that house for so long has made him happy to have any kind of company, even if it's Hermione.
Author's Response: Oh yes, indeed she was angry. In my mind she was doubly angry because she had a crush on him at one point during school. It would be as if your husband/boyfriend/secret love went out and murdered your father, and then ran away and joined your most hated enemy. I also believe that Dumbledore, although fallible, knew what he was doing. Obviously I am a true believer in the fact that he ordered Severus to be the one to murder him to fulfill the Unbreakable Vow and continue his spy duties. As far as Severus being happy, think about it, after a year alone he is confronted with not only someone else, but someone that is totally dependant on him as well as someone he is used to being in authority over. It is Severus\' perfect set up. He has company that, once he has fixed her up, he can bully and demean to his hearts content. As for the poetry, he was just trying to find something to do, only so much you can do with a comatose person. They have to be conscious in order for the degrading to be worth it. hehehe. Read on!
Well, I liked that Severus was nervous when he went to meet her parents. That was cute. Ok, well, I know you said in your author's note that there is some OOC-ness, but I personally felt that it was too much. Hermione was a little too giggly and emotional. And Severus was not really recognizable in parts. While I think that it's possible for him to cry, I don't see him breaking down like that in front of anyone. Plus, I don't think he would endure countless Crucios just to hear Hermione say she loves him. And although Hermione really loved him and wanted him, a person's first time is not going to perfect and wonderful. Also, the proposal was not something Snape would ever do, in my opinion. He would not want to embarass himself like that in front of everyone and the words he used were very sappy. Also, I just don't think it's plausible that Snape could have been fighting in battle against the Death Eaters for years without any of them noticing. Finally, I don't see the Ministry giving Snape a slap on the wrist just because he wrote a letter explaining the Unbreakable Vow. These are the same people that locked up Sirius for 12 years with no trial. That being said, your spelling and grammar is good, with a few minor exceptions. Also, there are parts of the story that could work, but the characters need to be in character for it to be believable.
Well, I liked that Severus was nervous when he went to meet her parents. That was cute. Ok, well, I know you said in your author's note that there is some OOC-ness, but I personally felt that it was too much. Hermione was a little too giggly and emotional. And Severus was not really recognizable in parts. While I think that it's possible for him to cry, I don't see him breaking down like that in front of anyone. Plus, I don't think he would endure countless Crucios just to hear Hermione say she loves him. And although Hermione really loved him and wanted him, a person's first time is not going to perfect and wonderful. Also, the proposal was not something Snape would ever do, in my opinion. He would not want to embarass himself like that in front of everyone and the words he used were very sappy. Also, I just don't think it's plausible that Snape could have been fighting in battle against the Death Eaters for years without any of them noticing. Finally, I don't see the Ministry giving Snape a slap on the wrist just because he wrote a letter explaining the Unbreakable Vow. These are the same people that locked up Sirius for 12 years with no trial. That being said, your spelling and grammar is good, with a few minor exceptions. Also, there are parts of the story that could work, but the characters need to be in character for it to be believable.
Author's Response: I thank you for your honesty. I\'m sorry that there was so much of the story that you didn\'t enjoy, but I appreciate your critism. Unfortunately, the second chapter (which is currently in the queue) is simply the same events from Severus\' point of view, so I doubt you\'ll enjoy it either. Regardless, thank you for reviewing!
Very funny. I think you managed to get every cliche I can think of in there. I loved when Harry started yelling about sausages. That cracked me up. Also, when Ginny said she had been going out with twenty other guys this year...lol! Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! The sausages part was a bit of random humour, and I thought the Ginny part should go in there... thank you again! :)==
Capslock!Harry is hilarious! I love it. And nice touch with Peter wetting himself. Gotta include that, of course! I can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Great! Thank you so much. Peter wetting himself... hahaha. You can\'t wait for more? Wow! :)
Very nicely done. I'm a big believer that Severus was 'that awful boy' that Petunia was talking about in OotP. You've done a great job of explaining what Petunia overheard and how. I especially like that Severus was the one who essentially showed her how to protect Harry. I also liked the interaction between Severus and his father. It was very realistic. The relationship between Horcruxes and Dementors was explained very well and an interesting twist. Very creative. I wish this wasn't a one shot and that I could see more of Lily and Severus' relationship. I've been looking for a well written Lily/Severus fic and I really like how you portray them. The only suggestion I can make is to maybe split up the dialogue by adding some narrative details so that the speeches don't seem so long.
Author's Response: Hee, I\'m actually writing a much longer fic, in which there will be Much!Snape!Angst! at having told Lily about that - but it is *completely* AU, because Jo says it never had happened before. *sigh*
Oh well. I\'m also doing Ambrosius\' story with a co-writer. It will have Horcruxes in it, but no Dementors, I don\'t think (there aren\'t any at this particular moment). Chapter 1 is nearly ready to be sent to the betas, and I\'m almost done with chapter 2 to send to my co-writer so I\'m quite pleased about that.
With regards to Lily/Severus fic, Vindictus Viridian wrote a multi-chaptered one that covers them having a friendship - a *close* friendship - which is fairly good.
However, I myself have a longer WIP in progress (er, yeah, that\'s why it\'s a WIP *_*) that will encompass some of Lily and Snape\'s relationship, but that\'s not the main focus of the story.
Nice cliffie! This looks to be very interesting. It's great to see how Luna ticks and her internal motivations. I'm intrigued by the 'magical Muggle' and wondering what the strangers want with Luna. I don't really have any criticism except for a few commas that could be added. This is a great start!
Ooh, the plot thickens. I can totally see Draco hiding. Even though Dumbledore was killed, Draco was supposed to do it and I could see Voldemort taking his revenge on Draco anyway. This makes me wonder what happened to Snape and Draco's parents. I never thought I'd feel sorry for Draco, but he's a mess here and I do feel bad for him. I'm intrigued and off to read the next chapter!
Wow. The Ministry never learns, do they? I love the idea of the Ministry hunting down and killing the Death Eaters. That is so characteristic of them. And I guess I got my answer about Snape and Draco's parents. And Luna was married to Ron? Wow. My mind is swimming here. This is really well written and it held my interest throughout. I can't wait for more!