09/29/05
Hey everyone, my name is Nora!
Please read my fics and review!
Most importantly, please read and review my newest story, "Rose's Ramblings". Thanks!
- G. Hawk
be sorted @ nimbo.net
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Escape by annie
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: But something happened that day...something that I, as a young and innocent 11-year old, could not place at that moment, but now can. That was the day I fell in love. (D/G songfic to Hoobastank - Escape)
Date: 11/29/05 Title: Chapter 1: Escape
Wow. When I clicked this story I had no idea that it would be this good. I have tears in my eyes right now! You are great at evoking emotions in the reader- I envy you for that! It is a great talent to have and you use it well. You also use descriptions that somehow draw the reader in- and I didn't realize how into the story I was before I got interrupted! You go into detail, but never too detailed, which is great. It also makes your fiction interesting and eye catching. An excellent example of this is when you wrote: "He sat at the Slytherin table, lounging casually in his chair and surveying the first years lazily. At that moment, as I stepped up onto the platform, we made eye contact. I felt my whole body turn numb, and my legs freeze. I couldn't move, all I could do was stare into his icy grey eyes. Eternity seemed to settle between us as I continued to hold his cold gaze. I heard McGonagall call my name sharply, and tell me to move forward. I blinked, and turned away." Great job! But when you say: "Day by day, the part of me that loved him grew. It grew so much that it started to overwhelm the other part of me, the part that had once ruled over every other part of me, the part that hated him for all he was worth. I tried to shake it off; it frightened me that I might be thinking about him in any way other than miserably. I failed. You cannot shake off love...it will plant itself inside you, and grow until it is a part of you" I think that you use the word "part" too much, and it makes it a little dull. Also, at the end it is a little confusing. Is Ginny still writing when Draco gets killed? Ah, well, the point is that this is simply an amazing one shot, and I truly believe that you are a very talented writer- keep writing! 10/10!
Dear Ginny by vinluan2290
Rated: •Summary: During the final war, Ginny believed she had lost the one she loved most. Pushed to move on, she becomes an advice columnist for The Daily Prophet and recieves a mysterious letter that forces her to examine the past and look for the truth in the lie. DG
Date: 04/01/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Promise is for Never
This is wonderful. I've added it to my faves. It looks like a great begining to what must be a great story! I can't wait til you update! 10/10!
Meant to Be by annie
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: It is their final year at Hogwarts, and Hermione and Draco start it off burdened by confusion and mixed feelings after catching a glimpse of the near future. This is a fic about the two students as they deal with their fate and the knowledge of what is to come with the aid of a magical window into the future. (Rated PG-13 for mild violence in later chapters)
Chapter 19 has been posted. This fic is finished. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed!
This fic is now available in Chinese, thanks to Levy. Link: http://post.baidu.com/f?kz=261897233
Date: 05/04/06 Title: Chapter 19: Meant to Be
This is so touching! I love it. A real tearjerker with lots of laughs as well. Brillaint and good job!
Illusions by StarlitFires
Rated: Professors •Summary: Illusions make your days pass in an oblivion and obsession is never safe. {One shot}
Date: 06/28/06 Title: Chapter 1: Illusions
Great story! I love how you never directly said "tonks" or "Gabrielle" but rather let the reader figure it out for themselves. I like how you showed Gabrielle as a girl confused about her feelings for another girl. It was all very realistic. I also like the idea of sound sight and touch used to describe what was going on. It was a bit short, but I do believe it is the perfect length. Great job!
Meant To Be by chloish
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: "What can I say?" James shrugged his shoulders. "We are just obviously,"
"Completely,"
"Irrefutably,"
"Logically,"
"Undeniably,"
"Unfortunately,"
James laughed, "Meant to be."
Lily Evans and James Potter share absolutely nothing in common, not even their feelings for each other. Lily, perceived as a ‘model student,’ detests the handsome, popular, Quidditch star James, who she thinks to be something of a git. James, on the contrary, has been infatuated with Lily for years, and has let her and the whole school know it.
As time progresses into Voldemort’s ‘reign of terror,’ the two have to learn to trust, tolerate, and love each other.
Please note, this story is incomplete, and will likely remain so for a long time. I apologize!
Date: 04/01/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Letter
You havn't updated for months! PLEASE update soon!
Author's Response: I know it's been ages. I'm sorry :( My computer crashed and I lost the entire thing. I just got a new computer, but the entire chapter that I had been so close to finishing is lost in cyber space. :(
Date: 11/06/05 Title: Chapter 15: Chapter 14 - Time to Waste
Yay, another chapter from the brilliant Chloish!!! This is your best chapter yet!
Date: 10/04/05 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Letter
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!! I love this story! *adds story to favorites list* I check back here EVERY day for an update! I love, love, love it! Although it is sad about James dad, but Lily will be there for him right? Please update!!! Never end this story though, I want it to last FOREVER!! This is my favorite story in the universe of fan fics! (and believe me, I've read a lot)
Date: 10/19/05 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter 13 ½ - An Unwelcome Query
YAY YOU UPDATED!!!! love, love, love it! When I saw you had another chapter up, I did what I like to call the Meant To Be jig. This chap was AMAZING! But you must update soon...
Author's Response: Haha...the Meant to Be jig...I'd like to see that sometime. ;)
Thanks sooo much for the review, hun. You get a hug. :D
The Unseemly Proposal by sparx
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The reign of Voldermort comes to an end, and with it ends the prestige and power Lucius Malfoy once had in the Wizarding World. In order to regain the respect of his fellow wizards and to make them believe that he has turned over a new leaf (which he actually hasn't) and has graciously accepted muggles and Mudbloods, Lucius asks Hermione, a Mudblood, to marry his son, Draco, a pure-blood. Obviously, they both refuse, but Lucius isn't going to give up easily. After all, he wants his status back. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve and is determined to play match-maker. What happens next is a series of events that serve only to bring Hermione and Draco closer, both literally and figuratively speaking. Read to find out how this one unseemly proposal causes absolute chaos in their lives! THIS STORY IS NOT HBP and DH COMPATIBLE! Hey all! Check out my personal info for the expected date of the next update. =)
Date: 04/21/06 Title: Chapter 31: Chapter 31- The Big Game
I just read your story and I LOVE it! I can't wait for your next update! Apart from some minor errors, this is a wonderful story. I love how the plot is progressing. I also love how Draco and Hermione are getting slowly more and more friendly. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank u so much! The next update should be up soon, as I\'m working on it this very moment. Yup, I do know that there are a couple of minor errors here and there which I make because I\'m sooo careless, but I\'m glad you like it nonetheless! Also, it’s great to hear that you like the pace at which the story is progressing. Thank you once again!
Date: 11/11/07 Title: Chapter 38: Chapter 38- Pushing the Right Buttons
HOW DARE YOU MOCK MY FEELINGS AND END THIS CHAPTER HERE???? Please update soon :D
Year Seven: Harry Potter & The Blood Debt by GringottsVault711
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Harry, heavy with the summer's grief and his future's burden, begins his final year at Hogwarts. He will hide something from his two best friends, but he isn't the only one keeping secrets; there's a mysterious organization on the rise, and Hogwarts is under fire from the public. The truth about the past will be revealed, while secrets of the present are hidden, and Harry must struggle to find his own sense of morality, all while knowing that his destiny is to kill. SEQUEL to Harry's Sixth Year. This story is PRE-HBP
Date: 06/29/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Wedding
I love it! I like how everyone was very much IC, and everyone behaved naturally. I love how you have the sadness of Ginny's death in the backround, shadowing the day a bit, but also making it what it should be. I like how you showed all the characters different kinds of grief. I also like Harry's relationship with Katie. You don't only say, "Harry liked being with Katie," but rather "Harry liked being with Katie because she made him feel peaceful." Great job!
Escape From Dress Robes by Seren
Rated: •Summary: Dumbledore- much to the dismay of several students- has decided to throw a Hallowe'en Masquerade Ball. The Trio, along with a few friends, are horrified at the prospect, and immediately resolve to do everything in their power to get out of going. Along the way, they make new friends, form strange alliances, and even find love. A tongue-in-cheek look at various fallacies within the fandom. Blaise/Hermione, Neville/Padma, Harry/Millicent, and a lot of UST between Ron and Draco. Some OOCness involved (what did you expect? It's a humour fic.)
Date: 06/28/06 Title: Chapter 1: Episode One: The Fangirl Menace
I love this! It's hilarious! I like how you have all those people from different houses working together. I also love how in the begining you have the various thoughts running through the trio's heads. Very funny, and amusingly in character. I love it! You know what? I love the whole thing! It's great!
A Lion in a Cage by Sashi Mizumoto
Rated: •Summary: The Gryffindors are attacked by Death Eaters, and an exploding Time Turner sends Hermione to the Marauder Era! There, she must battle darkness and earn the chance to be with her one true love. Hermione/Remus
Date: 06/28/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Very interesting story! The only t´negative thngs I can say, are that Fred and George don't have a valid reason for returning to Hogwarts. Former students don't just return to school for the fun of it. Also, Pegasus? Don't students normally ride in carraiges? Anyway, this is a very good story. Everyone, esepically Hermione, is in-character. I like your descriptions, they're very good. We seem to come into the story when you describe every last detail. It makes it much more real. Great job!
Date: 11/10/05 Title: None
Hey! This is a great story! I love how you developed the characters, it's awesome! 10/10!!! Keep up the good work! -Gemma
Hemorrhoids or Gemstones? by Piper Alexis
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Draco steals something from Professor McGonagall and in hiding it, finds himself in a very interesting predicament. One-shot
Date: 11/30/05 Title: Chapter 1: Hemorrhoids or Gemstones?
Wow, great story! Short, but humorous. It deffinaetly shows that you write for quality, not quantity! I loved this, and it was certainly more funny than the average humor fic. Draco seemed really in character, though I don't know if JKR would have him say "damn" but it fit in well. You made Crabbe and Goyle more than the average stupid buffoons, and gave them more charcter. Great job! I especially love this part: "Cocking his head to the side, and squinting up his face in contemplation, Goyle said, “I don’t know Draco, it just looks like a pretty rock to me.”" That had me laughing! But I do think that Crabbe shows a bit to much cleverness, though JKR doesn't give us that much insight to those characters, so I wouldn't really be able to comment on that. But anyway, this was really very funny, especially for a first timer!
-Gemma (By the way, I love the banner!)
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Gemma Hawk! I was certainly very unsure if anyone would find this little ficlet funny or not, but you\'ve boosted my self-esteem a little. I enjoyed writing this fic so I might take another shot at a humor fic again sometime. Thanks again for the review, it\'s much appreciated!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Gemma Hawk! I was certainly very unsure if anyone would find this little ficlet funny or not, but you\'ve boosted my self-esteem a little. I enjoyed writing this fic so I might take another shot at a humor fic again sometime. Thanks again for the review, it\'s much appreciated!
Dear Lily by chloish
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary:
Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs -- These names are known by every person in Hogwarts. These names, and an envelope with a scarlet wax seal bearing the letters: MWPP.
The teachers dread it, the students revel in it...but who are these 'Marauders,' as they are called? That's just it. Nobody knows. Most every prank Hogwarts sees is at the hands of these mysterious Marauders, and the perpetrators always walk free. They could never be caught. You can’t catch phantoms.
Lily Evans is just as curious as the next student as to who these Marauders are, but her curiosity is transformed into a hungry need, when she receives a letter herself from a certain Mr. Prongs.
[This story is slightly AU, but more on that in the author's note at the end.]
Date: 11/27/05 Title: Chapter 4: Gregory the Smarmy
How can you do this to me?!? Another cliffhanger, oh dear oh dear, tsk, tsk, tsk. Great chapter, I love this story even more than Meant To Be o.0 That being said, this chapter was very short for your standards, and not my favorite in this fic. But both of your incomplete stories are on my favorites list... :) You're a great writer with lots of talent. I hope to see more from you soon!
Date: 11/18/05 Title: Chapter 3: Pass the Potatoes
10/10, as usual! I must admit, at first I was a bit mad at you for starting another story instead of continueing Meant to Be, but once I read this... it's beutiful! I love it! You're a great writer, and you certainly should update as soon as possible! That was a great cliffhanger, by the way. - Gemma
"I will always..." by HPfanMGD14
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Celeste Lopes is the perfect girl for any type of guy. She's a Metamorphmagus actually and many girls want to be just like her, but they do not know what she is. Sirius Black has had his eye on her all year even if he has various relationships at hand. How do they both realize the meaning in this phrase (the title of the fic)?
Date: 12/22/05 Title: Chapter 1: A time on the train with suspicions...
Hi! After hearing so much about all your characters on the forums, I decided that I should come here and have a look at the story itself. I only got to read the summary once, so I did an insane search looking for James+Lily4ever but no glory. I tried looking after “layers” which was the first word that I read in the summary, and found this.
Anyway, on to the review:
Your characters, especially your OC’s, are portrayed in an instant in this one chapter. This can be good, but seeing as there are so many, and we basically find out about all their good and traits, and their secrets in this one chapter, it’s a bit overwhelming. I suggest that you read Magical Maeve’s “Harry Potter and the daughter of light”; it introduces her OC perfectly in the first chapter. But in your story, it’s like being hit by a wave of personalities, and it’s a bit hard to swim through it all and find out what’s what, and who’s who.
I was a bit disappointed to see that we discover Celeste’s secret in the first chapter. I think that you should wait with such secrets until everyone is more attached to your character, and will be sitting on the edge of their chairs, wondering what Celeste is. Also, readers will care a lot more if you introduce Rose a bit more before telling us that she has a secret.
However, I do believe that Rose was portrayed very nicely in this chapter. Especially here: “"I'm a.....bit tired right now; please don't make me feel worse. I have an extreme head ache," Rose covered up the information that was a secret she had been trying to hide from the Marauders and her crush, Remus Lupin. She then moved her right hand to her head.”
I definitely think that Rose is a very well rounded OC, judging from this. But is it REALLY necessary to give us all the couples in the first chapter? I think that it’s a bit obvious that the couples will end as so: Remus/Rose, James/ Lily (Well, this one is obvious, of course!), and Sirius/Celeste. But why not pair Peter up with someone? I know that he’s a traitor, but that doesn’t mean that he never had a love of his life. Also, I don’t know if you’ve read HBP, but *HBP SPOILERS!* in the book, Remus is very hesitant about having Tonks as a girlfriend, so therefore I doubt that he would have one at school. I’m not saying that he would isolate himself, if anything, I doubt that very much. I think that at school he would try to have as many trustworthy friends as possible, but never want to get as close to anyone as a lover.
Speaking of characters, I think that Celeste is, well, a bit of a Mary Sue. Right now, I just see a random metamorphmagus, not an actual girl. You might want to work on that a little.
Another thing about this quote, “"I'm a.....bit tired right now; please don't make me feel worse. I have an extreme head ache," Rose covered up the information that was a secret she had been trying to hide from the Marauders and her crush, Remus Lupin. She then moved her right hand to her head. Why do you say “The Marauders and her crush, Remus Lupin”? I mean, wasn’t Remus part of the Marauders?
Now, unto your writing style. I think that you have a rough beginning here. The first paragraph is a little choppy. In it, you launch off into explanations of all the Marauders, which actually isn’t necessary. Have you ever heard the saying “show don’t tell”? It means that instead of telling us about their personalities, you should show them to us. Like JKR never says that Hermione is a bossy know it all when we first meet her, instead she shows us that Hermione is a bossy know it all through what Hermione says and how she acts.
However, after the start, your story seems to sail along smoothly, until BAM! The end. I think that you ended this chapter rather abruptly. Perhaps you were in a hurry to post it? I find that I often end chapters quite suddenly to see myself published. I see that you were leaving a cliffhanger, and the good thing about it was that you were building up to it. But like I said before, we simply need more information about Rose before we can really get ourselves excited about it.
I also can’t understand why you portray Peter the way you do. I mean, let’s take this quote: “Sirius Black was going to start his 6th year along side of James Potter, Remus Lupin, and well...Peter Pettigrew. Remus was the smartest and the one that put all of them in line and order. James was smart and normal as the same was Sirius. Peter was all the Marauders were not. He didn't fit in the Marauders, but the four were great friends since first year. All four were now on the train and talking about the new school year that would start.”
Alright, first off, why do you say “and well…. Peter”? I mean Peter was clearly part of the Marauders. I don’t think that you should be judging the Peter in here off the Peter that betrayed Lily and James four years later. I think that the betrayal had something to do with an internal battle with himself, not his relationship with the other Marauders. In PoA, Sirius and Remus are both very surprised when they find out the truth about Peter. Also, you say, “He didn't fit in the Marauders, but the four were great friends since first year.” If you insist on having this, you might as well explain why the Marauders accepted him into their group.
However, your writing style in the middle is simply superb, and I think that you have a nice, good firm grasp on writing fan fiction.
I can congratulate you on having perfect grammar and spelling! This must be one of the cleanest fictions that I have ever read.
I’m rating this 9/10, and I’m a harsh rater, so rest assured that I like this story. I’ll defiantly be checking back here for updates. Great job!
So, I bid thee farewell, and I do hope that you can use this review for the better good of your fiction.
Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I'm so sorry about you having to go through layers and layers...
You aren't a harsh rater. You actually pointed out my flaws. Not that many people do that, you know; and I'm hoping that my BETA will BETA over my old chapters again to get them onto here. I'm still going to send some chapters to my temporary BETA. :D
Once again: Thanks for reviewing. You are a wonderful help! :)
~Meli~
Pssst... by nightfall00
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: During their fifth year at Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione share a secret.
Date: 11/29/05 Title: Chapter 1: Pssst...
Great story! A job well done! I deffinetly like this very much. I'm not much of an H/Hr shipper, but your story almost changed my mind! You're great at evoking emotions in your reader, and at the end you had me hoping that the person coming in wasn't Ron for H/Hr's sake! Though it probaly was anyway. *grumbles* I think that you really got Hermione in-character, and a lot of the things that she says and does are very realistic to the canon-Hermione! Harry, I think is very well written too! After HBP I can see him whispering to Hermione, to get her to come with him. The different P.O.V rarely works well for most authors, but you're really good at it. However, sometimes you repeat yourself in Harry's P.O.V, but you make up for it by the wonderful descriptions, and in-sight to what the character is thinking, such as: "This was nothing like his experience with Cho. He would get nervous around her; he was always felt wrong-footed. He never seemed to do the right thing. With Hermione, it was different. He felt like he fit with her. Even when they disagreed, which they did, he could feel the bond between them. In the past he had assumed this connection was just their strong friendship, but now he knew better. It was this bond that had caused him to kiss her the first time." Wonderful! Harry is very in-character, and it almost seems like something that JKR would write! 10/10!
Author's Response: I loved the detail in your review. I believe that whether it is a glowing review or a review that contains contructive criticisms, the author can always benefit from detail. This site's focus is writing and this kind of review helps so much.
It was fun to write outside what I normally might do. Thanks for your kind comments and examples!
My Name is Draco Malfoy... I Think by mooncalf
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: The whole wizarding world is in uproar after the death of Dumbledore. All Death Eaters have a price on their heads. During these troubled times Hermione finds Draco Malfoy practically on her doorstep- with no memory of who he is or what he's done. Why is he there? Why does he wake screaming every night? And how can she deal with a Malfoy who regards her as his best friend... or maybe more?
Date: 04/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: Memories
I love this story, it's just brilliant. Please update soon!
Author's Response: Thank you! Like I said before, I\'ve submitted chapter 7 (which is called Revelations), so it should be up soon.