Many moons after this story's completion, I am finally writing a review. Needless to say, I have read almost all your fics and find them hilarious. But to focus on this one: it's random, it's (I'm sorry, this is not a bad thing!) weird and it's fantastic. I mean, how many stories can have Ron turning Mrs. Norris into a duck and yet still maintain an engaging plot? However, in this chapter in particular, what really clinches this story for me is the dialogue between Ron and Hermione. It seems very natural and in-character, but yet you can see that he is driving her up the wall. Ron is so... horrible to her, and yet she still likes him! I think you do a great job of portraying Hermione in this fic. Her personality still fits in with canon, and yet we see that she is very, very different inside. The only minor criticism I can make is that there were some minor grammatical errors, such as how you sometimes put a full stop at the end of each list item and sometimes don't. I think the former might be a better idea. Also, I think Ron might have been just that little bit too nasty. We all know that he teases Hermione a lot, but I think repeatedly alluding to the fact that she has 'no life' is going a little too far. However, none of these are major issues. Congratulations on writing a wonderful fic!

Again, a good chapter! This was really great, you're doing a great job of developing their relationship. You've also managed to add in some mystery and anticipation to the story. Who tore the pages out of the book? What's Draco going to have to do in return for Hermione being so nice? I can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Hey mooncalf! I'm glad you liked it! Developing their relationship isn’t easy, as you know by now, so thank you so much for saying that it’s working out fine so far. The mystery of ‘who tore the pages of the autobiography’ is pretty important for moving the story forward, so you’ll see how it works out! ;)

Brilliant! This was one of your best chapters. You're moving their relationship up a gear but they're not OOC or anything. It also shows how the two characters have changed- before, Draco would never have been so considerate. The only problem (and I'm nit-picking here) would be that some of the dialogue is a little awkward. For example: “There’s no point mulling over such questions now,” Draco told his teammates. Would a teenager use the word 'mulling'? Especially considering who he's talking to. The Slytherin team are not renowned for their intelligence.

Author's Response: Thank you very much mooncalf! I'm glad you liked the chapter. “You're moving their relationship up a gear but they're not OOC or anything.” ----> I was hoping that would show and I'm grateful it did! And yes, I did want to show a certain change in them, but nothing too drastic and unbelievable. About your nit-picking (and I'm glad you did pick on that fact), I realized you have a good point— the Slytherins aren’t the smartest people around. So I did change it. Thank you for bringing that up!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Sorry. That was me screaming at the computer for wiping the huge, long and detailed review I had written for no apparent reason (I mean it wiped it for no reason not the review). I really need to go study now, so you'll have to settle for the abbreviated version. It's good, but be careful because you've now arrived at a place where this fic could quickly become cliched if they suddenly just throw caution to the wind and declare their undying love. It's obvoius that the moment will arrive soon where they will admit their attraction (I won't even mention the L-word) whether verbally or... physically. Dumbledore was good, the piece on the Love-Knot was interesting and showed how much thought you put into your fic. The interaction between Draco and the Dream Team was good, awkward but acknowledging. By the way, as my little sister so kindly pointed out, please don't call Hermione 'Mione'. This only occurrs in canon when Ron has his mouth stuffed with food. As an awful and irritating cliche, it jarrs dreadfully with the originality and entertainment afforded by the rest of this fic. One question: why, through the course of most of this fic, has Ginny accompanied Harry and Ron everywhere? She rarely hangs around with them in the books.

Wow. Even the abbreviated (why is abbreviation, of all words, so long?)version has turned out lengthy. To conclude, my jaw is dropping at the near 300 reviews you have on a chapter which hasn't even been up 24 hours. That's more than three times the amount of the entire review count on mine! You should have a party when the total reaches 2000.

Please excuse anytypos, I have typed this out it about two minuted flat. I will save this so the computer doesn't wipe this YET AGAIN.

Hi sparx, another great chapter. Not quite as good as the last one maybe, but the last one was one of the most important so far, so that's excusable. I never got to congratulate you on your awards. And more coming up! Unfortunately for me, my story has been nominated in one of the same categories as yours, so it's a write off. Congrats, and I hope you win!

Author's Response: Thank you mooncalf! In terms of importance, I would say the last chapter is definitely more important than this one, but I enjoyed writing this one. It was fun. Haha… Thanks, and yup, more are coming up! Pretty excited about that. Oh, don’t say that! I did notice that you had a story up and I have been meaning to read it, but well, I just haven’t gotten the chance. But I will, for sure! All the best to you too at the awards and thanks for the well-wishes! =D

I'm sorry but I think this is the worst chapter that you've written. I really enjoyed your fic before but I didn't like any of the restaurant part. Hermione seemed to me to be very out of character, especially when she got drunk. She always struck me as a private person, and here she is shouting and making a show of herself in public. I know it was funny, and most people seemed to have enjoyed it, but I felt you sacrificed a lot for a bit of humour. On the other hand, I think you got Krum just about right, and I liked the part about Simone getting paid. Please don't hate me for this, I think most of your fic was fantastic. I forgot something: you said they were given 'candy' in the restaurant. That's an americanism, 'sweets' would probably have been better. Again, sorry for being picky, but it's little things like that which annoy me. My name is probably eternally burned into your black book of enemies by now. Oh well- I just couldn't leave these things unsaid.

Author's Response: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs to the corner and bawls and whips out black book of enemies and writes your name in big, red letters* Hahaha, no, I'm kidding. Of course I wouldn't do such a thing and your name isn’t eternally burned into my black book of enemies (which I really don’t have, by the way). I think what’s important is that you told me you didn’t like this chapter and the way I presented Hermione. It would have been worse if you simply boycotted this story altogether. At least this shows that you want me to improve it and (hopefully) that you're not going to give up on this fic (as yet). I guess maybe I did get a little carried away with the humor, but I did have loads of fun with it. But now, I'm going to wrap up this Valentine’s Day portion and move on. On the bright side, I'm glad there are portions you liked! I have changed the “candy” to “sweets”. I didn’t know candy was considered Americanism, so thanks for bringing that up. Again, don’t sweat about the review. You said what you felt, and I'm cool with it. Check out the other chapters when they come up as well; it would be nice to know what you think of them.

Yet another lovely chapter for this enchanting story. Unlike many of your readers, I wouldn’t consider this chapter too short. In truth, your chapters are often exceptionally long; you shouldn’t feel under pressure to keep this up. There’s no point ‘padding’ it with extra, unnecessary material. I personally prefer shorter chapters, as long ones tend to make me confused!

I love how you show in so many little ways how their relationship has progressed. Not many authors would think of using a simple thing like breakfast to demonstrate how close two characters are, but it does the job more effectively and believably than a flood of love letters. There are so many cute lines, but one of my favourite ones is “She doesn’t like her eggs sunny-side up, Weasley.”. It just shows how well they have come to know each other, that he can recall little facts about her off the top of his head. It also reveals that he’s been watching her, as I can’t imagine it being an everyday topic of discussion!

I’m glad you finally addressed the war, as it’s something that was previously a rather large plot hole in your story. I was quite surprised when Draco came out with his location; I was expecting the usual “I fought for Voldemort but I’m sorry now” or “I secretly fought for the Order”. It’s great that you turned that cliché on its head. It’s a believable enough twist, too. The obsession with purity probably would be enough for Voldemort and his followers to sacrifice one fighter, especially as chances are he wouldn’t be much use. It fits in well with his character, too, as we all know Draco isn’t exactly Gryffindor material.

I love how you consistently have humour in your story, but it never seems forced or out of place. “So Lucius Malfoy told Voldemort that you would initiate the procreation of future purebloods if anything happened to a majority of the pureblooded population in battle?” That line is just... so Hermione. It’s in character, but it’s so funny at the same time. Probably not meant to be, but I never claimed to have a normal sense of humour.

The encounter at the end was quite a revealing little incident. You’re showing us now that Draco’s feelings have grown strong that he’s even discovered the courage to confront others without his “cronies”, as Hermione termed them.

Showing how alike their thoughts are is another great way that you showed, rather than told, us how their relationship has developed.

As for the end – a cliffhanger? Will he give her the long-awaited kiss? I certainly hope so! I’m eagerly anticipating that next chapter.

There were a couple of grammatical and spelling errors in the chapter – form instead of from, missing commas, that kind of thing. I don’t know if you’re going by British spelling, but if so, don’t forget colors is spelled ‘colours’.

“try some of the eggs, it’s really well done.” I think this should be ‘they’re really well done’.

There were some times as well where it felt a little awkward. For example: ...Hermione bought herself some Butterbeer (Draco did not want any). You don’t really need to explain about Draco, and the sentence would flow better without it. It was not easy talking about the war, but this question had been nagging her for the longest time (well, not for the longest time, but lately more so than before). The same applies here. You could simply say ‘...nagging her more and more lately’, or something similar. Copperhead (his name for now) The humour of this name would be increased if you left off the explanation. It actually confused me more than if there had been no explanation!

I’m not going to go into explicit detail for all the errors, but betas can be fantastic for picking up little mistakes like that. Since I see from your replies to others that you’re looking for one, I’d recommend the PI site or the Beta Guild in the forums as a good place to start looking. I’d love to do it myself, but I’m sure you’ll be inundated with offers from others far superior. :-)

Anyway, to finish up, I really enjoyed this chapter and I hope the writing of the next one goes smoothly. Best of luck!

This is one of the- no, THE funniest story I have read on Mugglenet. The parts with Malfoy and the notes, both of them... I was nearly crying with laughter. I've read a few of your other fics, but this was the funniest. 10/10 and on my favourites list.

Hey Lian! *waves at SPEW buddy*

First of all, WOW. I knew once I saw that it was Padma that I had to read this fic, but I didn’t expect something as wonderful as this. Both parts of this story are amazing, but I’m going to focus on just the first as it’s my favourite.

Your style of writing is quite unusual. The repetition, the short sentences, even how the fic is laid out (one meal, making Parvati think back) – it’s not the norm. It’s a refreshing novelty to read something written as well as this. The short, sharp sentences lend a sense of desperation to the fic, a tension which is left with the reader even after finishing.Parvati has won her battle. But victory is bittersweet. It is not enough.

Parvati wants to scream at her sister, scream at her and force her to eat. But she does not. Their father did that. It did nothing. She wants to plead with her sister, plead with her and beg her to eat. But she does not. Their mother did that. It did nothing.. I know that’s a terribly long quote, but I just had to take the whole thing. The repetition has a similar effect; it gives the impression that this isn’t the first time Parvati has thought these things and felt this way. It’s a beautiful way of emphasising emotion and distress, and it gives the story an almost musical quality.

Thankfully, I haven’t had personal experience of anorexia, but in my opinion you deal very well with such a sensitive issue. We feel pity for Padma, and sadness that she must suffer this. I think the lines describing her physical condition are particularly harrowing; She sees the hollowness in her twin's eyes, is horrified by the way her sister's elbows bulge out from her skeletal arms. This line is wonderful too: The body Padma sees does not exist; it is no more real than the pudding she never ate. It’s a haunting way of telling us how Padma tries to deceive others as well as herself.

In a way, though, Parvati is nearly more a victim than Padma. We can see this anguish her twin’s illness is causing her: Now Parvati cannot cry. She cannot scream. She cannot hurt where Padma can see. I love how you characterise Parvati in this story. She isn’t the rather flat, giggling character we see in canon; while she doesn’t appear out of character, she is so much more developed and believable. She wants the Padma whose world won't shatter if she, Parvati, is angry or sad. I think this line is incredibly moving. She has lost what everyone comes to need from their siblings; security, comfort, companionship. Instead, she has to constantly prop Padma up. The stress and worry this must cause on a teenage girl is distressing. You do a great job of highlighting this by telling us of Parvati’s reaction to the various traumas she has suffered in her school life.

Usually, I’m quite a critical reviewer, but I can find nothing wrong with this fic – except that I’d like more! While Because of Padma is a lovely fic, it achieve the same heights as this one does. Congratulations on an utterly amazing fic!




Author's Response: Funny, some people have said that the repetition you quoted was their least favorite part of the fic. I\'ve revised it a bit since then, though, and I\'m glad it works for you as it is now.

Yes, Parvati is a victim too. And yeah... it occurred to me at some point that even seemingly empty and shallow people can still feel pain at a very deep level. I tried to show that.

I have to say that while normally I don't like D/Hr fics where he falls for her really fast, this is a definite exception. I don't know how you do it, but what he's doing seems natural and in character, and the same with Hermione. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks! And who says that he's falling for her fast? *wink*