Oh purleese - save the RAVEN, not the baby - Osiris is SO much more interesting. Not to mention that neither Hermione nor Severus would be so stupid as to forget to take contraception. Hmmn - getting tempted to write a story where one or both of them is sterile so that we CAN'T have this scenario. Otherwise, the fic is enjoyable enough. Coleridge quotations much appreciated.

Well done. In all, a fairly conventional SS/HG fic, but it was redeemed by the sharp-tongued Osiris and Crookshanks and some good moments of comedy elsewhere. If I were you I'd think of writing pure humour fics or even satire instead of romance, since the former is more original than the latter in your hands. One thing to note - whilst I don't freak at at OOC-ness or departing from Canon all that much - there is no way that Snape could have 'several manors'. "Order of the Phoenix" makes it clear that Snape does NOT come from a wealthy background - posh houses aren't infested with flies and a rich kid could afford clean pants every day. It's also possible that Snivellus's skinniness and palor is due to poverty - something I noticed in the less wealthy kids at the school I went to. JKR sets up a clear distinction between the grubby, striving Slytherin and the classy, born-with-a goblin-sliver-spoon in his mouth Sirius. And Snape spits on the ground in Philospher's Stone. Not that I think aristocrats necessarily have good manners (it can be quite the reverse) but they are drilled in propriety, and that moment rather contradicts the 'aristocratic Snape' theory too. I'd say the highest socio-economic class JKR's Snape could have come from is the petit bourgeousie.

Author's Response: It was my perogative to give him as many manors as I wished, as was my perogative to have him OOC. It's called writers license. While I tried to keep it as much as possible to the books, these are not my characters. I am not trying to copy JKR to the letter, nor do I believe she would put them in the situations I have put them in. That's why this is called fanfiction. While I apreciate your comments, I get the feeling you assumed this was going to be HP volume 8. JKR did not write this, as you can see I did. And while I do not profess to be in the same category, it is obvious to me you expected me to be.

Sorry, but this is going to hurt. I'm appalled that this is getting uncritical reviews. Never mind the undistinguished prose, I'm talking about the sexual politics. I used to work on a rape crisis line, and let me tell you a very basic fact. Rape is not about love. It is not even about sex. It is about power. It happens because the perpetrators are furious with 'woman' in general (they have a problem thinking of women as individuals, you see) for 'provoking' their desire. It happens because of centuries of institutionalised fear and hatred of female sexuality. When women have rape fantasies - and sadly a lot of fanfiction shows that to be evident - they are rooted, too, in a fear of female sexuality that they have learned to copy from the discourse o power. Put simply, a rape fanstasy allows a woman not to feel responsible for her own desire - she can be detatched form sexual agency and therefore be 'blameless', according to some screwed up notion of fmeale purity and powerlessness. There are plenty of documentaries that explain rapists' thought processes, and chief amongst their motives is their desire to humiliate and dominate their victim. Romanticising 'rape' is internalising a lie. It is NOT 'losing control cuz you luv someone so much'. As a writer of one of the very first Snape-Hermione fics (Letter from Exile One Merciful Morning - at ffet, not here, as JKR sometimes views this site and I don't think she'd approve of even that scrupulously feminist version of the ship) I think you insult the character of Snape as well as women in general. Please for heaven's sake go and do some proper READING before you try your writing, and above all learn to see the world as it is.