Very interesting start. The dialogue and action are both very clear. I look foward to reading the rest of it.
Author's Response: it's a 1-shot, so its finished, but definitely check out my other stories! thanx
Very well written so far. It is good to read the start of a story that has some life of its own outside of Rowling's novels. Keep up the good work, I look foward to reading the rest.
Great story so far. I think the paragraphs were really well organised and the dialogue was entertaining. Keep writing, this looks like it will be a refreshing addition to the fanfics on this site.
Author's Response: Thanks :] It makes me happy to know that people like my story and review and such. Hehe. ♥