D'oh! No editing reviews! I was going to put 'better not to see his family' and decided on "best to avoid his family" and didn't delete the "not". Oh well, to be constructive :D, one thing I noticed, a comma missing between "Hello, Ted."

Author's Response: Lol, silly Kerichi. I\'ll change that. [bounces off] I\'ve got a one-shot coming up soon. :D I\'m really proud of it.

It's easy to see why Andromeda would go along with Raphael...until she had a reason not to. Good for her not being intimidated!

Out of curiosity, if the characters had the faces of famous actors, who do you see playing the roles? :)

Author's Response: Oooo... Good question. I\'m gonna have to research that one and get back to you on it. There\'s so many good choices out there. And a lot of actors whose names I don\'t know. :]

Author's Response: I looked all over and while I\'m still undecided about Andromeda, I found my Ted. There\'s no other than Ryan Gosling. He fits both older and younger Ted, at least my mental image of him. :]

Author's Response: Okay, I lied. Searching for my Andromeda, I found another actor that I rather feel fits the part of Ted. Especially from the pictures of when he was younger with longer hair. Charlie Hunnam. He\'s a good Ted too. As for Andromeda, I\'ve narrowed it down to three candidates. The ages of the actresses aren\'t so much relevant to her age in my story but overall, they fit my perception of her. They\'re also a little different from each other but they\'d do her justice by being pretty but not overly so. Julia Roberts (one of my favorites), Natalie Portman and Emmy Rossum. The last one is a reluctant admission but she\'d work well for Andromeda.

Once upon a time there was light in my life,
But now there’s only love in the dark.
Nothing I can say,
A total eclipse of the heart. 

Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit angry and I know I’ve got to get out and cry . . . .

The Bonnie Tyler song came to mind when I read your poem. :) There’s a lot of emotion conveyed, and then suppressed at the end. It’s an interesting image, Narcissa hypnotized by the moon, feeling a kinship, perhaps? Instead of reflecting sunlight, she reflects the image expected of her, pure-blooded stoicism.  

Lunar eclipses only happen 2-4 times a year, and only during full moons. There’s an implication that only special circumstances generated Narcissa’s personal eclipse, allowing her to shed tears and express anguish for a short time. That adds depth and intensity to your poem. 

A couple of times, though, I questioned your word choices. 

I rise, moving soundlessly,
A whisper of what once was. 

She’s moving soundlessly, and then she’s a whisper, which is definitely a sound, however slight it may be. You have “I whisper farewell” in the last stanza. To avoid repetition and contradiction, I’d consider changing the earlier usage. If you want to keep the alliteration, you could go with something like “wraith”.  

The crisp air slaps my face,
Tears slide down my rosy cheeks, 

Even Narcissa wouldn’t be whipping out a magically lighted mirror to check her reflection in the dark, :D, so she can’t know her cheeks are rosy (which sounds off because I think of her as pale). Aching cheeks, stinging cheeks, frozen cheeks, anything that she can feel and doesn’t have to see, would work better. 

Thank you for putting time and thought into crafting a lovely poem.

It's nice to see the story here, and it's still an endearing image, Albus with a cowlick. :)

Now that the queue is back to normal, I hope your second chapter is approved soon!

Unlike Ted, you’re good with expressive language—eternal sentries, memories laying a head on her shoulder, the warmth of light like beloved hands—and evocative descriptions (especially those of the sun and sunrise). :)

I did notice while I was reading that Andromeda’s conversation with Molly came across as stilted and disjointed.  It was the lack of action and dialogue tags and the abrupt changes in subject, such as “If you don’t mind me asking, were they hard on you?”  At first, it was jarring, but the style fits. They’re two near-strangers sitting on a bench, and their “sense of kinship” doesn’t change that fact.  Andromeda is so withdrawn; there would naturally be long silences and bursts of awkward conversation.

Something I noticed that you might want to consider editing is your first sentence, which reads as if a corner of Andromeda’s mouth quirking is “another oddity of the Muggles.” :D If you put a period after “quirked” and made the second sentence, “Zoos were another oddity of the Muggles” your meaning would be clear.

Later in the story, I wondered, when “snow had yet to come” and Andromeda enjoyed the “unseasonable warmth,” why Bill is wearing a snow suit. Wouldn’t a fluffy-blue jumper be more appropriate?

And near the end, after you wrote that her encounter with Molly had left its mark, the sentence that follows reads as a non sequitur:

It was right outside Andromeda’s window: neighbors.

That sentence doesn’t explain how the encounter left its mark. It seems random and doesn’t make sense. Why introduce that they’re staying with unnamed “neighbors”? The story’s ending would read much stronger and less confusing if you edited it to read something like:

She turned back to the sunrise, remembering her encounter in Regent’s Park and wondering how Molly dealt with living in frightened seclusion.

Her hand went to her middle. Andromeda shook her head to stop her wandering thoughts.

She had enough to wonder about.

Thank you for writing the story. I enjoyed your take on Andromeda and Ted, the way you showed how Andromeda didn’t escape the Blacks without lingering issues to deal with, day by day.  

I can see James Brown dancing when I read this. :)

I hope you didn't feel like you'd been put on the naughty list and given a lump of coal last year when no one reviewed. Over a hundred reads should tell you a heck of a lot of lurkers shadow the site, and they can't give feedback because MNFF doesn't allow anonymous reviews.

I have a confession to make. I wasn't sure if I was going to like your characterization of Draco. The first two paragraphs didn't predispose me to empathize with him. He's mentally dithering about uncomfortable plastic chairs and has rounded shoulders?

And then I read the third paragraph.

The clock on the wall across from him ticked agonizingly slow. Tick. A gap in time that seemed to last hours. Tock. Another infinite timeless, soundless space. Tick. Draco stared at it, something at long last capturing his attention. He was pulled in, mesmerised by the sluggish tick-tocking and the bold, merciless black numbers. 

I read it and immediately thought, "THIS is the beginning. This is in medias res, unexpected and gripping in a way the set up of the prior paragraphs failed to accomplish. 

A lot of writers end up cutting off "warm up" sentences or paragraphs to find the true beginning of a story. I hope you'll consider doing the same. It would make such a difference!  

You did a brilliant job showing Draco's insecurities. He doesn't want the baby to come between him and his wife, doesn't want the responsibility or the anxiety of worrying he won't be a good father. He's used to being the one comforted and petted, and now his wife needs his strength and support. 

He definitely had issues to work though in record time. :)

While your portrayal of Draco was real and compelling, the character that didn't ring true to me was the Assistant Healer. Health professionals are just that--professional--and for her to go off on Draco, culminating with "what kind of husband would abandon their wife" left me shaking my head. If you'd had Astoria's mum say those accusing lines, one of her friends, the emotional outburst would be believable. From an Assistant Healer it came across as author-needs-Draco-to-hear-tough-talk-and-get-his-head-on-straight contrivance. If the lambasting was cut out, and the "she's been calling and calling" was kept, it would be effective without offending on multiple levels.

Although I wanted to use a Silencio on the Assistant Healer giving all medical professionals a bad name, :D, I soon forgot her while reading the ending.

Stories like yours, like Draco, are wanted and needed.

Smiles all round. :)

Youll remember me when the west wind moves
Upon the fields of barley
Youll forget the sun in his jealous sky
As we walk in the fields of gold

 Katie will remember Cedric when any wind “moves”, I suspect, but your title brought the Sting song to mind. I could almost hear it playing in the background during when the sun came out and Cedric saw the light in more ways than one. I had to include a quote. :)

 Imagery is one of your strong points. I very much enjoyed your descriptions. Atmosphere drenched in anticipation, a pyramid of grass, the archway framing the scene like curtains on a stage, and the golden edges of the clouds were especially striking. 

Using the boat house was inspired and set up the romantic moment in a way sitting beside the lake in open view of whoever might be passing by would never have done. You took your prompt and rocked it (no pun intended). 

 The first two paragraphs, while informative and useful for setting the scene, came across as omniscient narrator. If you'd used third-person limited, had Cedric being thankful exams and the weather allowed him to be alone (until Katie arrives), I think it would have made a more compelling opening. 

Eleven paragraphs down you wrote:

“And how are you, Cedric?” Her voice was softer know, and full of obvious concern. 

 Aside from writing "know" when you meant "now", you use a comma before "and" that isn't needed because you aren't linking independent clauses.

These sentences: “Well, it will be when the sun comes out,” she amended. He grinned, and they settled back into silence are written back to back. Since the second switches to Cedric's pov, I'd give it its own paragraph.

I noticed toward the end that you used attribution tags that tell the reader what the dialogue just told them: amended, instructed, and added. Earlier in the story, the "reflectively" after "Mmm" was already implied by the word itself (unless you think readers would have a "Mmm, you're scrummy" impression, and in that case . . . . :D)

The last two lines were lovely, in a bittersweet way. 

The five paragraphs before, though, I mentally edited because we've been in Cedric's head predominantly, and I think it would have flowed better into the ending if it read this way: 

They watched water lapping against the shore and mist disappearing from in front of the mountains, and after a while Cedric glanced at Katie’s face and squeezed her hand. “Cho and I... we’re not right. I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to figure that out. Just... if you stay quiet about this for a few days... we can be together soon. If you want to, that is,” he added, realising what he was saying.

Katie nodded slowly, guilt evident in her features. “I do,” she said. “Of course I do.”  

Slowly, this time, gently, cautiously, she leaned over and kissed him.

For Cedric, it was like the sun coming out all over again. 

Just my thoughts and suggestions to do with what you will. I'm off to look up Fields of Gold on youtube. :D 

 Many years have passed since those summer days
Among the fields of barley
See the children run as the sun goes down
Among the fields of gold

Your mention of Dr. Seuss in the summary is what drew me to this poem. It promised whimsy and "lots of fun things that are funny." I think you delivered on that promise. The Hogwarts twist on Sing a Song of Sixpence was clever, and "Large and Luscious and lurid--oh my!" was smilingly reminiscent of "lions, and tigers, and bears--oh my!" in the Wizard of Oz.

It made me chuckle to "hear" house-elves threaten gore and then "see" the teachers calmly put down their teacups and say, "Hermione!" Your imagery is vivid and the poem was entertaining.

I must say, however, that the rhyme scheme felt forced and wasn't truly Seuss-like. As the Cat in the Hat says, "It is fun to have fun, but you have to know how.” Did you ever sit down with a Dr. Seuss book and examine the different rhyming patterns he uses? 

To emulate Seuss, pick a pattern, any pattern, and see what happens to your poem. Here’s what came to me:

The headmaster of Hogwarts sits down to eat
Jerky and jams and a jelly blue sweet.
And in the middle of it all sits a blueberry pie,
Large and luscious and lurid-- oh my! 

I hope I’ve helped, but in the end, in the words of Oh the Places You’ll Go: 

You’re on your own. And
you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll
decide where to go . . . .  

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent
   guaranteed.)

ETA: I originally reviewed on October 1st, but I deleted and reposted it December 22nd without the Seuss quotes, which were given to be helpful yet in retrospect made me feel Grinchy.

Merry Christmas!

You're such a better person than I am, welcoming concrit especially. :D I do believe to err is human, to edit, divine, although to me getting concrit is like getting a "practical" gift instead of one that sparkles. Yes, it's useful and you appreciate it, but it doesn't make your eyes light up or bring a smile to your face for days afterward, LOL.

Your story made me smile, so I hope your muse is summoned by the eagerness of your readers to experience what happens next along with Ron and Hermione. I'll be honest, though, and tell you I believe you don't need anything but bum glue to start writing. Stick your bum in a chair, put on a timer, don't allow yourself to get up or do anything but write, and it will be magical how words form and become paragraphs and then pages. ;)

They say it's the little things that count and there are so many details in your story I enjoyed. Moldy cheese flavored beans, Harry and Ron's banter (“I think you can safely say I won’t be there when you propose, so you’ll be alone then,” was one of my favorite lines), where Ron proposed, and the use of her grandmother's ring.

I liked the way you had Ron admit that he missed the freedom he'd had in Australia, and loved when he said that he'd learned he could never be without Hermione. The honesty is very true to Jo’s characterization of Ron.

I did notice "replied" and "added" were used frequently.  You have “There’s certainly something about this place,” replied Ron and  “I love you, too, Ron,” she replied in back to back, very important paragraphs. If you changed Hermione's "replied" to "said with a radiant smile" or something else suitable it would cut the repetitiveness and add to the "Aww" factor. :)

Added, like explained and some of your other attribution tags, repeats what's already implied clearly by the dialogue.

“Th-thanks,” stuttered Ron.

“Stop!” interrupted Ron

“I’ll help you,” Hermione reassured him.

“Your grandmother’s ring,” he finished.

It's just something to keep in mind in future chapters, along with making sure you start a new paragraph when changing from on pov to another and keeping what a character does and says together. For example:

He took her hand and they headed to McGonagall’s office. She took only one look at their faces and let out an exclamation of delight, immediately knowing that Ron’s plan must have been a success.

“Congratulations! I’m so pleased for you both. I hope that you will be very happy together.”

Which I think should read: 

 He took her hand and they headed to McGonagall’s office.

She took only one look at their faces and let out an exclamation of delight, immediately knowing that Ron’s plan must have been a success. “Congratulations! I’m so pleased for you both. I hope that you will be very happy together.”

A couple of paragraphs down from that, if you ended the sentence at waist, drop a paragraph and put “She smiled” before "I can't believe we're getting married" it would improve the flow and clearly show who said, "I can't believe"

I can't believe my review went on so long, but remember: you asked for it :D, and my review was given in hopes of being both constructive and encouraging.

(Hint, hint, tell the muse you'll write without her fickle presence if you have to! Watch. She’ll come running.)