Your story makes me insanely happy. It's inFANity! (Good grief, a pun. lol.) But it's been exacerbated by the fact that my internet has been down for a week. *shudders* I've been going spare.

This is going to be quite a short review, as I don't have any concrit; I know, shocking! Clever use of the mirror, as Jo has confirmed that it will reappear, and great twist with Draco. Maybe Harry will see something in Draco's head that makes him feel sympathy toward him, forming a kind of truce that will prove beneficial in the hunt for the Horcruxes. Hmmm. *looks thoughtful* What humor there was was briliant, and I thought the moment between Ron and Harry about loving Ginny was so very sweet. Like the maturity I'm seeing, too. I could go on listing, but really, it's quite pointless. You're too good. :)

Author's Response: It\'s NOT pointless! I\'ts what I\'ve been trying for with you, lol! A chatper with no concrit! Yay me! Let me enjoy it a bit! Seriously, I\'m really glad you enjoyed it, and I\'m delighted you like the Malfoy doing Occlumency angle.

Hi. I feel unreasonably bad about missing last chapter, but I think you're doing pretty well in the review department, eh? But I'm going to get to the good stuff now, not chatter on. I had a thought--the thing about Harry never wanting to admit when something is hurting him--it probably is due to the Dursleys. They would see anything that he said like that to be "complaining." Gah. Sometimes I despise them so VERY much.

"He was crushed against Mrs. Weasley’s breast, and he had no idea where he was supposed to look." Priceless. Ginny's right, boys are silly. Though I have to conceed that this is a very embarrassing predicament. ;)

"Shannon!" George shouted, pushing out his chair with so much force it scraped across the floor, causing everyone to cringe." What else would you expect from a Weasley?...I'm sorry you have to put up with my smart aleck commentary, but I have to release it somewhere, lol. Anyway, I really like the idea of Shannon and George. They fit.

I also admire the way you handled the good-bye letter. You didn't take the easy way out and just go on and write a heart-wrnechingly letter--you showed how it really would have played out.

"I’m going to have your father speak to you tomorrow." Ouch. But that was extremely funny. Wil we get a chance to--erm-- hear this conversation?

"You’d best watch your step, mate." Is it just me, or is this some foreshadowing? Maybe all that emphasis on Mr. Weasley being overprotective will actually become important. I mean, he'll have to get used to this if he wants a lot of little mini Harry and Ginny's running around, right?

I felt very bad for Percy, not a tad bit! I'm glad that he got an honorable death, nevertheless. But the prospects are looking bad for Snape--I want him to be good very much, but it seems like you're setting him up as a definite villian. But even that could be a red herring--nothing is certain. *frets* I'll just have to trust you...

So. Concrit.

"Was there no end to that boy’s stubbornness?" Maybe "this" instead of "that"? Possibly.

Huh. There's nothing else, I guess. Wonderful job as always, I can't wait to see how everyone takes his death. *thinks to herself, "how morbid can you get?" *

Author's Response: Heh - I think of all of us fanfic lovers have a bit of a morbid streak, lol. I mean - we do read and write a lot of Harry-torture. I\'m glad you enjoyed Harry\'s letter. I hemmed and hawed a lot with that. As for the talk with Mr. Weasley....well...there will be other things more important happening so that\'ll get pushed to the side. Sorry.

*pant pant...* FIRST REVIEW! Although, I really have nothing to say because I already reviewed this...I'm such an annoying individual. Happy writing!

Author's Response: Aww, you're not annoying - I appreciate the double support on each site. Thanks!

YEAH! You're posting on MNFF too! I think I'll just review here from now on...but only if you get caught up in posting! If it's not a priority, I understand, but it WOULD make things easier. Anyway, I'm looking forward to chap 5 immensely, Melindaleo!

Author's Response: I'm trying to get caught up, but the updates are always a little slower here. Chapter 3 has been submitted, I'm just waiting an approval.

The charging was in rather short supply, I'm afraid. You see, I finished the last review and looked at my clock...and lo and behold, it was something like nine o' clock and I had an essay to write for the next day! Yikes! But I'll shut up about my woes and move on to the fun part.

"Of course, Moody generally suspected that everyone was up to something." Enough said, I think. :)

That part about getting in and out of Azkaban...wasn't that on the W.O.M.B.A.T test? I'll bet you're one of those people who made me turn an interesting shade of green because you recieved "Outstanding." And, speaking of Azkaban (and Outstanding), outstanding job on description! "It looked as though the walls were crying." I don't know about you, but I loved the imagery of the stained glass window crying in the GoF movie.

Ron and Malfoy take the prize for comedic relief, however, lol.

"Once they’d reached level five, Moody informed Malfoy that he wouldn’t be able to see his father alone. Moody said he was going with him. " To be quite frank, I don't see why you couldn't just write that as dialogue.

"Ron and I will be waiting here." Didn't feel like Moody; perhaps "Weasley" instead?

"Ron looked extremely hesitant to let them go." I love Ron. It's as simple as that.

"If Lucius attempted an escape, they would all be trapped within the wards." Then why would Moody let Harry, of all people, go in there?!?

Draco with his father was utterly pathetic...good job. LOL. Sorry, but it's just so curious how something so wrong can be so right. When will Harry learn to stop being reactionary? *exasperated sigh* Malfoy was obviously lashing out in pain, not that it excuses him. Although, Harry isn't very perceptive, is he? But I have to say, Malfoy's comment was spot on. "What do you know about it?" Malfoy asked bitterly. "You don’t even remember having a father. You think the way those miserable Muggles treated you gives you any right to say you understand how a family works?" This completely discredits all of those fics where Harry and Draco bond because of their abuse. But the situations really are very different!

"Malfoy ignored him and continued his rant as he strode forward." I would have expected the rant to sort of be there, as if in the background but...it doesn't matter. Btw, what a perfectly evil cliffie, Melinda!

This is completely unrelated, but I'm looking forward to seeing what you have in store for Snape with relish.


Author's Response: How\'d the essay go? Well, I hope. Was the Azkaban thing on the WOMBAT? I don\'t recall. I didn\'t score an Outstanding - I got an Exceeds Expectations though, and was quite pleased with myself. Do you know I wrote that Azkaban scene originally BEFORE the GoF movie. I was stunned by the crying window, then I was so mad because I thought it would look like I copied it, lol.

Hi! Just when I thought I couldn't last any longer--whew. *relieved smile* That really bites about the word limit. Well...maybe it doesn't. Two reviews for me!

I had a thought, Melinda. I recommended your story to a friend on here--sai--and she said she only hadn't read because of the summary. Maybe you could mess with it a bit when you manage to wrangle some free time? (But believe me, I know what an elusive thing that can be, free time.) Less questions consecutively would help, I think.

I've noticed that the transitioning between your chapters is generally some "scene setting." Now, I haven't attempted this yet, but I suspect that it might make reading this fic all the way through a minorly choppy experience. Maybe it's easy to get stuck in an "installments" attitude about chapters? Not conciously, of course, but still.

We got some HarryGin bonding time this chapter! How perfectly lovely. I've loved your portrayal of their relationship from the beginning in your other fics; in fact, they were my first Harry Potters fictions, as well as my first HarryGinny fics. You indoctrinated me, lol. Especially enjoyed the imagery of Ginny smoothing the lines out of his face. *melts*

However, I thought Ginny's monologue, was a bit too extended for reality. If you had added some comment by Harry in between the two paragraphs it might have been better, but, then again, it might not have been.

"When you tried to break up with me at the end of term, you said being with me was like something out of someone else’s life."...."That was the saddest thing I’d ever heard." I honestly hadn't viewed that comment as such, but now...*sob* I, who look for the sadness in everything! LOL. This adds to my past arguments about your insight.

"and it makes my heart dance." I'm sorry, but that didn't sound very realistic to me. Just something to think about for the future, not a REAL criticism...

I couldn't see Harry demanding Ginny to say that she loved him...that word just had negative connotations that didn't fit with the scene. (Which is the sweetest thing! I also loved that moment in one of your first two fics where Ginny promises to outlive Harry...*sniff*).

Ummm, pardon the indelicacy, but they're not going to be "discussing" as much as...well, anyway. You know what I mean, I'm sure. Maybe some rewording.

Have I mentioned how much I love the way you write Moody? Surely I have. And the funny thing is, I don't even know why, so I can't really elaborate on this point! Although, this was a wonderul line, ""He has a knack for getting the others to agree to things they normally wouldn’t." Teeheehee.

I have a little sneaky suspicion that you are going to change my view of Draco before this is over. Great job with drawing them together (if only for a moment) in shared humor. It's subtle, but that's what makes it good writing. But that vicious jibe of Draco's! You do NOT insult Harry like that! Unfotunately, it's good of you to include it, because it's a big part of his character that he goes on the defensive with insults to stave off intimacy or understanding or whateveryou call it. An I can't say that Harry behaved much better. And, also unfortunately, that is part of Harry.

In addition, my preconcieved notions are cringing, but I THOROUGHLY enjoyed that repartee.

I liked Harry's reaction to the beach. Not to be callous, but most people move on as best as they can after a death. You've hit a happy medium with the amount of grief Harry now feels. I look forward to the continuation of the newest subplot, too.

I could go on forever praising your writing. However, that's not QUITE feasible...Onward I charge to the next part!

Author's Response: Aww, thanks! I always enjoy hearing your comments - you always give me somehting to think about. That line about it being like somehting out of someone else\'s life just went right to my gut the first time I read HBP. It still gets to me - that and I am not worried - I am with you from DD to Harry. SIgh.

i'm the only one who reviews for this story who HAS concrit, I just realized.
I'm probably delusional. Oh wellsy.

Hermione....genius, just genius. I always thought she should have more apparent things in common in Ron. "Hermione liked her routine, and part of that routine involved avoiding all human contact when she first awoke." You have a real talent for funny little comments like that in the narration.... hold on...*squints a few lines below*.....IT'S THAT DARN MONSTER AGAIN!!! Kidding, kidding. Contrary to popular belief, I am not a (complete) psychopath.

Mrs. Weasley both made me laugh and broke my heart at the same time. And this is completely unrelated, but GO GINNY! That was an inspired speech, lol. Btw, I liked that you hit on one of Ginny's character flaws. "Don’t do anything stupid just to prove yourself." I say "Ha!" to all those who consider Ginny a Mary Sue. "Who says I'm a lady?" *grins*

I thoroughly enjoyed the dragon scene; it gives me high hopes for the rest of the Horcruxes. But for me it felt a bit too close to the First Task. I understand the need to show a bit how Harry's past "adventures" have all been leading up to this but, like I said, a bit too much alike.

If this were not FF, I'd be firmly convinced you were JKR. Seriously. You probably don't realize just how much your style is alike. It's downright creepy.

Now, the to-do list. Not that there's much to change in such a loverly story.

"An Inferius, like most creatures that dwell in the darkness, fear the warmth and the light, so use fire against it. It’s your best protection." It should read "fears" instead of "fear," as you're referring to a single Inferius.

"Hey! I resemble that remark," Hmmm...I think that should be "resent"? LOL. That's something I would do.

You seem to be referring to Arthur being more upset about his daughter numerous times; it is a rather cute idea, but it's starting to get excessive.

"I swore I’d never battle another dragon again as long as I lived. *points to absent ending quote*

Well, that's it. I hope you came out unscathed.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the wonderfully thought out and constructive review! I certainly don\'t mind concrit! You\'ve always been very pleasant and given me things I can use, plus you sound intelligent in your thoughts. What more can I ask? Although, my goal is to give you nothing to critique by the end ;) The idea for the dragon came from JKR herself. She\'s said Harry\'s learned more than he realizes, so I was trying to come up with ideas of things we\'ve seen in the past. The \"I resemble that remark\" must be a regional thing, and I hadn\'t realized it. It\'s a fairly common expression in my part of the world, but there have been others who haven\'t heard it, either.

Hi Gemma!

What a lovely story you have here.

I liked how you immediately tackled the issue that they don’t actually know whether it’s the “Final Battle.” It always annoys me when all the characters in a fic speak about the Final Battle like they’re in the fandom or something. The “meeting at dawn” part was slightly cliché, but it’s a good opening none the less.

And then there’s that great line: “If I’m going to die I might as well do it in style.” Very cool. I was a bit thrown off by the “polishing the earrings,” though. I’ve never heard of anyone doing that, so it mystified me. I also like this line: “I don’t know how I would survive if I felt like them.” It’s a perfect expression of the entire theme and mood of this story.

The inclusion of her observations of the ant was also wonderful, because it shows the reader that she was calm enough to notice details and have vague thoughts about them; she’s not intense, hyped-up. I really like that idea of strength and calm from grief. It’s very inspirational. The symbol of the snowdrops and the imagery are just great in conveying it, too.

The narration of how she dealt with grief wasn’t as good, though. I think it would have worked better a true flashback, because you could have shown readers what she was doing and thinking and feeling rather than just describing it in her own words.

Harry…I’m of mixed feelings. He’s not by any means a mopey character, but I can see him worrying a lot like he did in GoF, because he’s a “live in the moment” kind of guy. When there’s a sudden emergency he’s your man, but anticipation throws him off. In this way I think you characterization was great. I don’t think anything about it has to be changed.

Hannah was also good. In a way, it’s very Hufflepuff of her to help Harry out by telling him that he shouldn’t dwell on it. And besides, I’ve always thought that Hufflepuffs had a steel core under their nice exteriors. It’s perfect that Hannah turns out to be a survivor.

This could have been more fleshed out, but I enjoyed it. I didn’t see one grammar error! Good job.

GreyLady
Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I\'m glad that you liked Harry, I was a bit worried about my characterization of him, becuase I\'ve never written him before! (And I haven\'t written him since) I\'m a huge fan of Hufflepuffs. We don\'t get to see them a lot, but there has to be some more to them. Just becuase their not in Ravenclaw doesn\'t mean they\'re not smart and etc. Thank you so much for a great review! I\'m sorry I didn\'t reply before :)

Oh, dear. Well, it definitely was a Ron thing to do. Good job!

An absolutely stunning dark fiction! Truly, I love it. It deserved to win the challenge. :) The idea is, of course, brilliant; why are rings always an evil object, though? lol. The seductive power of the ring was very chilling and well written...and the ending! So creepy, but so wonderful. That really makes the piece for me. I have just one relatively minor problem that I'd just like to mention.

"She was sweet, gently, honest, unassuming and frankly, in Quentin’s opinion, thoroughly boring." Gently would work better as gentle.

Anyway, now that I've cleared that up...Good job, and thanks for such a wonderful one-shot to read!



Author's Response: Thank you very much! What a lovely review! Actually it wasn\'t until after I\'d submitted it that it suddenly clicked about the ring being remarkably similar to LotR, lol. I was like \'how could I be so stupid!\' after that! Thanks a lot for that typo as well - I\'d completely missed that!