I'll give you this, this would work fantastically with a few changes. First, you have some grammatical things. That bothers a few people, though not all. Some of your sentences are confusing, as an above reviewer mentioned. "'Oh sorry,' I said blushing. I think he could tell that I was blushing because he grinned from ear to ear." Yes, it'd be fairly easy for someone to tell you're blushing, and in reality, it would probably be more difficult for you to tell that you were. The flow could use some improvement. Maybe not having Draco move so fast. As someone mentioned, Malfoy is probably not going to be like "Oh, someone ran me over. That's pretty cool. And hey, she's hot. I wonder if I can get her in bed." Overall, not bad.