Very nicely done, Foxy! I liked this because it showed her feelings for Harry in a different light. It's a bit estranged, but in a good way. It's not too close, but it's not too far away. Am I making sense? Like, Hermione's feelings for Harry in the poem aren't being shown as too close, but they're not of dislike. It has a bit of mystery to it, too. Great Job! 9/10.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your great review, and you make perfect sense ;-)

I didn't wan't her feelings to seem too direct because I didn't wan't the poem to be fluffy. I'm glad you noticed that.

I liked it, but not as much as I did TLFHP. It was a very interesting read, and definately something different than from the normal Dr/H fics. I liked how you transitioned from the dream into reality. Pagans. Ha. *shakes with laughter* That was a good one. Nice, Eilime, nice.

Anyway, I like how this went with what Draco had to do - change himself. I like how you took that one simple topic and turned it into a great one shot. Awesome job!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm pleased to hear it was good and different, and that you liked the dream/reality transition. So you at least liked the pagans :) Thank you. I'm happy to hear you liked the overall theme of the story. Though a lot of D/Hr stories have Draco changing, this was not the change in itself but what got him to change, or who, and I'm happy to hear it turned out all right. Thanks!

Hayli, that was awesome! I loved it! It's so much better than 'Stuck'. I see I'm in your favorite author list. Thank you so much, darling! The only thing I didn't like is that I thought the death of her parents went by too fast. Can't wait till Ch 2!

Author's Response: xD Thank you Anna! I personally think it's better than Stuck too, hence my reasoning for deleting it. Ohh don't worry, the deaths haven't even been mourned for yet ;-)

I really like it! I liked your style, and the way you conveyed the detail. Nice description. ;) You ended with a very powerful ending. Great job!

Author's Response: thanks so much! It was my first shot at Harry Potter poetry, and I think it turned out alright. Thanks again!

This is an awesome story and I had a great time reading it. I love your idea - it's very unique to have professional and casual letters exchanged between Hermione and Ginny. You showed us different sides of both characters and that's what made it enjoyable. Like a few other reviewers have already mentioned, there were some constant mistakes in this that didn't quite mar the story, but were there nevertheless. Ginny's name is spelled wrong - you need to switch the 'v' and the 'r'. Hogwarts is a school, not an academy.

In spite of this, I laughed during this and you've managed to turn it into a good humor fic. Great job!

Author's Response: Yes, I\'m EXTREMELY embarrased that I made such stupid canon mistakes!!! I\'m glad you liked the story though. Thanks for letting me know! -Daisy

Only three reviews? My dear, you deserve a million!

Waaay back on the old forums, I saw the wonderful banner you made for this story and have always wanted to read it. Actually, I believe I read it but didn't leave you a review. Well, it's high time I do this now, isn't it?

Where to begin? This poem has more elements in it than meets the eye and I'll see if I can capture them all.

Was it my fault you turned out the way you did?

Perfect, perfect, perfect. Stunning opening line; you definitely have the readers reading the poem. This line shows many things: the tone of the poem, the overall mood of the poem, the wondering, sad component throughout the poem, Hermione's thoughts...the list could go on and on. The way that she asks herself: Was it my fault? is so like Hermione. Only Hermione would notice such a thing and perhaps blame it on herself.

The questions between the stanzas are poignant, powerful lines. They are the ones that truly portray what's going on; the stanzas inbetween are fillers, yet touching all the same.

This is such a sad and melancholy poem and I'm sure that the result you wanted from the readers -- thoughtfulness, stillness, even having them mourn for the girl that had no friends -- succeeded.


Author's Response: You read my mind, love.

Or rather, you read my poem and understood it completely. I really love this poem myself because it touches so many thoughts inside myself and I can totally relate to Eloise.

I didn't expect to read what I did when clicking on the link to your story, dear.

It was a highly entertaining and amusing read -- only proving that you are a talented author. Kudos to you for writing a lovely one shot such as this.

I really like the various interactions between Dolores and the students/teachers. You're quite creative and keep your readers reading.


Severus Snape was enjoying his free day in his sanctum. No ignorant students, no melting of cauldrons, and certainly no Neville Longbottom or Harry Potter.

I laughed out loud on this one. The humorous ways you let the readers get acquainted with the characters you've portrayed is certainly well set-up.

Your description also lets us see the situations the characters get themselves into and it goes without saying your imagery provided clear, mental pictures.
Bravo!

The only concrit I have for you is to not make the situations too far-fetched, such as the one with Dolores bathing while the students scrutinize her. Conversely, those are the situations that provide the backbone to your stories and make them more creative. What I'd really like to see is you telling us how Umbridge happened to be bathing and the such.

Overall, I'm very happy I have read this story, as it is a rare treat! And thank you, for making the wonderful banner and avvie for me.

*hugs*

Iloved this fic. It went immediately to my favorite's list...and I don't do that very often. ;)

It was moving and heartfelt, and you really connected the reader with the story. The beginning starts out pretty mediocre until Heather comes in. She changes everything - the mood of the story, any quick opinions you might have had, what you thought would happen. I'm really glad you included her because it gave us a view of what the whole ordeal looked through a child's eye. I think that Heather's attitude towards the matter was pretty appropriate. I mean, this girl has a mother whom she barely knows, and that scares her inside. She knows her mother is alive, but her mother can't communicate with the girl. Heather, as is with all young children, needs a mother by her side, and taking everything in consideration, Heather's behavior was very appropriate.

When an author ventures out of the ordinary, and tries something new, their fic is most likely to be more memorable than other ones that aren't so original. I think this one shot's originality is the key to why it had such a profound effect on me. It was so different from the others, which feature Harry the one who's struggling and his friends happy and/or content.

Your word choice was another powerful factor. You didn't use vivid description, but placed the words in an exact spot, in the best place available so that it would have a deep, thougtful meaning to its readers. It's interesting the way syou do it...because some of the words are quite vague but it works out perfectly. I believe it works so well because if you're given vague words, there's room left for imagination and so different readers have different opinions, pictures, ideas etc. Each person can take this story and make it into something completely different.

The ending was very powerful. Very intense. It was so moving; so heartwrenching. It just made you want to sit there and not move. I think the ending is very important to a story. It's the last thing a reader remembers, and I think your end left quite an impression upon it's readers. Sensational work!

When I finished reading this, I sat still for a long time. I'm not kidding. And after sitting still for a long time, I reread this over and over and over. Rhi, this is...Wow. Really. The idea, the plot, the way it's set up is so perfect!

Your plot is firm and has many details that grasp the reader. Such an interesting fic too! Let me stop gushing here and get onto the real reviewing!:D

A tall, dark figure slipped between the murky shadows of Knockturn Alley. His form melted effortlessly between the various rusted carts selling fresh human fingernails and newly acquired shrunken heads. His cloak danced in elegant swirls behind him, as it whispered to the rutted cobble stones he passed along. One gloved hand gracefully cupped a silver snake’s head, which posed with fangs laid bare, ready to strike.

What vivid description! I could not think of a better way to start this story. It's so grim, so dark and a lovely foreshadowing of what's to come. Your word choice and your sentences heighten the already-set mood and add to the apprehension that's starting to build up. Lovely start...it's really got the reader reading on.

The onomatopoetic words that you have throughout the story are placed in just the right places to create a special atmosphere of inquisitivness - it helps the curiosity move along.

Again, I have to point out your description. It is beyond what I would have expected in any fic. You know, it's rather interesting that you this story full of vivid description, yet it doesn't make the fic less interesting and doesn't give the feeling of being bombarded with too much information. Some authors complain that too much detail makes them cringe, and many agree. In your case, you have provided sufficient description and managed to make it engrossing at the same time -- a feat not many authors make.

Your dialogue is another thing I must mention because I can't just let it go without commenting on it. It's captivating and fits the personalities of the characters. You place the dialogue in just the right places so it creates suspense and has the right amount of effectiveness on us, therefore it doesn't detract the description or other details of the fic.

I like how you keep the names of the characters secret until the next part. Reading that whole section, I thought it was Lucius, because Quentin sounds so like him. It was a shock when I finally saw that it wasn't Lucius, but another person altogether. Very nicely done there.

Your character Quentin is very sly...he's very like Lucius in many aspects. My only nitpick in this wonderful story is here. I think it would work better if you gave Quentin another trait that seperates him from slightly from Lucius. Right now, he's too Lucius-like for my taste.

The ring's and May's thoughts intertwine very eerily. This part of your story was the most profound in my opinion. It was a very sinister and horrifying section, and we learned how evil Quentin is. I felt sorry for May...that she would be seduced by the powers of the ring so heinously. That part was very sad, and was one of the most emotional paragraphs that I have read in my life. Wow, Rhi, wow.

The ring is truly horrid, and it's sad that it has been used against so many women. The list that you included was worked for your favor, because it only increased the emotion in this fic.

Now the ending -- that was very well placed. I can't express what I felt when I read it...so many emotions!

“Narcissa, darling,” the striking figure called up the sweeping staircase. “I have a present for you.”

This last sentence fortifies your fic so much! Ending your story with a jolt like this made it all the more fascinating.

You are such an amazing and talented author, Rhi! This story is one of my favorites.

Wow.

Author's Response: Wow, Anna! I don\'t know what to say! Thank you so much for such a stunning review! Seriously, I think this review is better than my fic, lol. I\'m so glad you enjoyed it. I really loved writing this - it was one of those fics that just flows so easily on to the computer that I didn\'t even really have to think about it. Pity I can\'t replicate that for my other fics, lol. Thanks so much for your review, my love - you really made me day!

Author's Response: Okay, I just re-read your review again and spotted something which I didn\'t think was quite right.- The original man in the shop was Lucius, as was the man at the end. The bit in the middle was a flashback to earlier people the ring had affected, and therefore had different characters. I don\'t know if you got that, hun, or if I just read your review wrong, but I thought I\'d comment just in case! Thanks again, my love!

Amy, this poem is fantastic!

Your word choice is intense and the words are use sparingly, but they make a large impact on us.

I love how you put it in the form of a phoenix, it only makes the poem all the more interesting.

I love it!

Author's Response: Anna, thank you so much! I\'m so glad you enjoyed reading it. I think I am going to work on another that I might submit. Thanks so much for reviewing! You are my first ever!