12/19/05
aquapristine.livejournal.com
Thank you to all my reviewers and readers, but I'm no longer adding any stories to this account nor am I a part of mugglenet.
[Report This]
Harry Potter and the Spirits of the Storm by QueenHal
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: A Post-HBP fiction.
When Harry’s quest for the horcruxes turns desperate, he leaves the security of his homeland to seek out the advice of an ancient and most unusual Council – one whose allegiance is only to themselves but whose knowledge is so vast it may be his only chance. What Harry discovers there will change everything. Soon, he comes to see that this is all so much bigger than just he and Dark Lord – his role, though pivotal, is terribly minute compared to the challenges the Wizarding World must now face.
Meanwhile, across the Atlantic Ocean, a young witch uncovers the truth about her bloodline. But only when catastrophic events begin to unfold, does she realise her importance in the greater scheme of things...
It is a tale of epic proportions: bringing in the truth behind Slytherin's betrayal, and the choices the Founders had to make to ensure the longevity of their world. Enemies must unite, lines must be crossed, and children must forgo their innocence. And behind it all, fly the Spirits of the Storm, waiting, watching, scheming. Welcome to the greatest epic war the Wizarding World has ever seen.
Chapter 11 is posted.
Date: 04/10/06 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - Reflection
I have to say I throughly enjoyed the fic. From the first paragraph of how you described the beginning of Harry's journey to an unfimiliar land, to the last paragraph, was smashing! The strongest points of your fic is the description. You choose the right words and place them in the right place to make the sentence sound right. Whenever you described something in this story, I could see it in my mind's eye clearly. I like how you manage to include a lot of things in one chapter without getting the reader overwhelmed. That's a great feat not many are able to make. I look forward to more of your chapters. Great job, Hal!
Author's Response: Thank you, darling!! :D I\'m glad you said that about my description... I\'ve become rather proud of it, but I worry that I overdo it sometimes. Anyway, thank you so much for your compliments and stick around for the next chapter!
Who Has to Know? by annie
Rated: 6th-7th Years •Summary: Draco has a secret, one that he would never admit to anyone...including himself. One-shot songfic to "Dirty Little Secret" by All-American Rejects.
Date: 03/06/06 Title: Chapter 1: Who Has to Know?
I was sure that I had a review for this fic, but, no, I don't. I think this wasn't the BEST fic you have out, but it was nicely done. The song fits well with the one-shot, and that one last sentence ties it all up well. The reason I didn't like it as much as your other fics is because Hermione is a bit too OOC in it, and also because this fic lacks the strong demeanor your other fics usually have. But nonetheless, it's one of my faves. *applauds* 8/10.
Andantino by Noldo
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: On Andromeda and decisions and loves and regrets. Poetry, peculiar.
No fixed rhyme scheme or meter; jumps to and fro between styles rather erratically.
Date: 03/17/06 Title: Chapter 1: Andantino
That was fantastic!! This poem made tears gather at the corner of my eyes. The last line, especially. This was just awesome!! The way that you describe her ( and you use 'her', so it's mysterious, too) denials and worries and sadnesses and everything was just breathtaking. A wonderful job, Noldo!!
Difficult by orange_balloon
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: After the war, things are difficult for Harry. He has removed himself to a quiet corner of New England with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. All four of them struggle to get through their first Christmas season together while missing so many of their family members and friends.
Date: 06/12/06 Title: Chapter 1: Difficult ~ one-shot
I liked this story, yet I didn't like it as much as I would have wanted to. It was a sweet, warming, pleasant fic, but it was lacking something. I think it was the action, or the dialogue. There wasn't enough of either to make the fic captivating. The description was fine, you did a great job of it, but maybe there was a bit too much of the description, and not enough of the other aspects to make up for it and balance things out. I was starting to read the fic, but then the lines began to blur and I didn't feel like reading anymore. It was slightly boring to read it all. There were a couple small conflicts - Harry trying to find himself, but those weren't strong enough to create a dilemma and get the reader's attention. All of it would have been fine to include in the background information, but the author had it [the conflicts] as the 'major' problem of the story. It wasn't enough to capture the reader and keep him/her there.
The story was heavy on description, and it was the perfect story if you have a lot of time. I've noticed that the more description the story has, and the less dialogue or action, the longer it takes for a person to process the information. In this particular fic, I had to read the sentences slowly, so I could get what I needed out of them. It wouldn't be the case for other fics that are moving along at a faster speed. The more action the story has, the faster a person read. The less it does, the slower they do. This is the perfect story to read on a rainy day with a jar of cookies nearby ;).
Apart from that, I quite enjoyed it. It was a interesting concept, definately original. You had a lot of ideas put into the fic, creating a medley of possibilities.
You had a great characterization of the characters. I particularly like how you wrote Ginny...very Ginny-like and realistic. My favorite sentences from the story are these:
She stubbornly had stayed with him anyway and helped him every step of the way through the war. Now with the war over, his excuses were running out, even in his own head. Her feelings were still very clear and he knew that if he asked she’d wait forever.
It shows what strong love can do to others, and how it influences them. Ginny will not give up on Harry - it just shows how much she loves him, and it finally hit him how much.
The various little details here and there - the snowman, the albums, the decoration, Hermione's worry, the atmosphere outside made this a gratifying fanfic. Overall, great job!
And Mr. Christmas was really quite touching, ;)
Author's Response: First off, I just want to say thank you for the thoughtful review. I really appreciate the time and effort it takes.
As for the tone of the story, I actually tried something a bit different here. I wanted to see if I could get into the characters heads. Rather than writing about their interactions with one another, I wanted to see if I could give them different voices through their thoughts. I think this is the reason why you found it slow reading. I\'m not entirely sure if I was successful with my experiment or not, but I am glad that you enjoyed the description and characterization overall. And, of course, Mr. Christmas who is everyone\'s favorite waving snowman! :)
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps by fallsauce
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: (Originally written for a challenge, but seeing as how I can't even find it anymore, thought I'd put it somewhere more appropriate)
---
Hermione’s mourning.
Draco’s around.
He can’t possibly offer her anything other than that exquisite urge to wrap her hands around his neck…can he?
Date: 02/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: --
Lovely. I've been searching for a D/HR fic where they're in this position. You brought their characters up so beautifully. I love the dialogue between them, and Hermione's reactions. Terrific. 10/10
Date: 01/18/06 Title: None
I love your story but it does contain a few cliches/mistakes that I'd want to tell you about: 1) Voldemort is a half blood, not mudblood. 2) I think you should describe what your characters feel. Don't just include the dialogue. Try writing in what their surroundings look like and how they feel... 3) Draco is too OOC for my taste. Right now you're headed for the bad track. Make him meaner..more seductive, sexy, yet cold, you know what I mean? 4) Try including a background plot. Right now your story is concentrated on Draco and Hermione and what they go thru . Sorry, I seem to be ranting, and this is by far the longest reiview I've done. Im sure you have something planned out for your story...its not my place to change it. But I think that if you take my observations into consideration (big words ;) ) then your story will be perfect!! Nonetheless, I am adding it to my faves, and I can't wait till the next chappie comes out. Keep up the good work!!! ;)
Date: 03/23/06 Title: None
That was quite...refreshing. That's probably the best word to describe it. It was light, funny, spirited and very nicely done. You made my afternoon un-boring. I like Draco and Hermione's relationship. Close, but not sexual nor romantic, yet. I like how you keep it going. Update soon, maybe from Draco's POV.
Date: 03/15/06 Title: None
Very lovely. At the beginning, I was a bit confused, because you switched from present tense to past and back again. Or maybe it was my imagination. ;)
I really like this story. It's so fabulously written. Like Caren H said, I loved the flirt going on between them. And the way you described the couch and making waffles. Very very awesome. I hope you continue, and write more!!! Update soon
Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Yeah. That was my bad. I hadn't thought to have someone beta it before posting. I was rushing and all. But I uploaded a cleaner version (along with the chapter two) in my LJ: silveris.livejournal.com
Check it out! ^_^
The Christmas Rose by Subversa
Rated: Professors •Summary: Their first Christmas as a married couple find Severus and Hermione with many projects. The Christmas Rose Potion, a litter of increasingly alarming kittens, and the long-awaited wedding of Ronald Weasley and Luna Lovegood are only the beginning. Rating for later chapters. This story is a sequel to Master of Enchantment.
Date: 02/24/06 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Terrorizing
Nice chapter.
Describing those kittens personalities and names and everything must have taken a long time!!
Not a lot of interaction between S and H.
I'm confused, though. Who/What is Bast exactly?
Author's Response: Bast is Severus' cat. There is a story about her here on Mugglenet, called "Bast: Operation Kitty." It is the first sequel to "Master of Enchantment." The story of Bast & Crooks courtship takes place in "Nobody Told Me There'd Be Days Like This," also archived here.
Date: 02/08/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Slamming
I don't really read Hermione/Snape. But your stories are so unique, so good, so awesome, I couldn't help BUT read them. I was excited when I saw that you made a sequal. I think this is a really good chapter. I can't wait to see how Severus will take Hermione's defiance. Update soon! ;)
Date: 02/10/06 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Melting and Exploding
Delish!! You left me hanging at the end *scowls*. I'm glad H + S finally solved their problems. Update soon on your terrific story.
Date: 02/22/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Growing
Yay, I'm glad you updated! Even though it was short, it was important. I like how you gave them a chapter to sort things out. It helps with the development. Lovely work.
Potions by Soap
Rated: Professors •Summary: Hermione and Draco - an unlikely pair - go from intense dislike to true love in this story.
Date: 01/26/06 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue - Remembering
I love it ...its different from the other Dr/H fics I've read. Keep up the good work. However, it is too early for me to judge your story. Im putting it into my faves and will keep watching it. Post next chappie soon ;)
Author's Response: Thanks much! I've already got most of the story written (I just can't sit still!) so I'll update frequently. :)
Harry Potter and the Mind's Eye by GhostCoon
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Harry begins to put his plans for defeating Voldemort into action, but runs into unexpected trouble that will make his task considerably more difficult. Harry will have to change his plans completely and rely on his friends more than ever as he battles Death Eaters and destroys Horcruxes, often inches from death itself. Seventh Year, post-HBP. H/G and some R/H. A lot of action, a little romance, a great read!
Date: 03/08/06 Title: Chapter 1: Leaving for Good
Interesting. I'm not a big fan of general fics; but your story certainly caught my eye.
I like how you focus on Harry's feelings, and his thoughts on what he has to do.
The only problem I had with this chapter, is that Ron is a bit OOC. Ron doesn't really talk like how you made him talk in the fic. His words are more loquatious, and simple.
Other than that, great fic! I'm looking forward to hearing more from you!
Author's Response: I'll be the first to admit I'm not too good at Ron, though I will try to do better. Thanks for your interest!
Amortentia by Cruciatus Love
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: Merope Gaunt has what seems like a flawless plan to get Tom Riddle to love her. She has everything worked out to the very last drop of Amortentia in his glass each morning. Watch as a country called Romania and a celebration of love takes it's effect on this 'perfect love.'
Written as a Term Challenge: Holidays Abroad submission for Slytherin.
Date: 08/13/06 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Five
Such an emotional and bitter chapter! This ch. is one of your better ones, really.
Merope noticed here how alone she was. She had no one to go to, no one to lean on, and no one to go to for help. She was stuck in an exotic country with no where to go. She felt useless.
The description is especially lovely here; it brings on a sense of despair that makes the reader connect securely with Merope.
There are too many 'she's in this chapter. Although you don't really notice them much when you actually read the fic, there are instances where you could have replaced them with 'Merope' and something else.
Her decision of breaking the wand was very foolish, but that just shows how irrational we get when we're angry, sad or heartbroken.
She knew they would either find their way to the heart of a new friend, or they would die in the same place that they lived: at home.
One more piece of concrit here. At the end of this last sentence, instead of the colon, it would have worked to better effect if you replaced it with a period and consequently capitilized the 'a'.
All in all, beautiful job!
Author's Response: Actually, it was Dumbledore in HBP that said she had broken her wand, so I had to follow canon and do that. I\'m glad you liked this, however. Enjoy the epilogue!
Date: 08/13/06 Title: Chapter 7: Epilogue ~ Birth of a Legend
This is the most fitting epilogue and really strengthens your fic. You really show us her condition -- that she has to resort to stealing to take care of herself, that she has nowhere to go.
I'm glad you included the scene with Tom. How cold he is to see his pregnant 'wife' and leave her alone on the streets. At least Sara had some decency to give Merope money.
The birthing scene is perfect -- not too dramatic yet it has a raw power of it's own.
I congratulate you on a job done stunningly and for winning the EoM award. =)
Author's Response: Thank you! I think I\'ve said this before but the epilogue is my favourite chapter by far; I\'m glad you enoyed it as well. And thanks, I worked hard to earn both!
Date: 08/12/06 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue
And I see that you love the Merope/Tom pairing, as you have a few stories finished on this pairing. Very interesting. It is not a well-known pairing, but you do gratify it.
Very interesting, for Merope to be this devious. You've given this pair a nice background and the prologue is nicely set up.
I like the banter going on between the two most of all, as it shows the sides of each of them superbly. You've set up this relationship wonderfully and it shows through. Tom is so like his son in a few ways -- i.e. the annoyance.
I can't wait to see how/if Tom gets his way out of this!
Author's Response: It\'s not much of a mytery, huh? Seeing as it\'s all canon. But, I\'m glad to see I pulled you in. And yes, I based Tom n this slightly on teenangst!Voldemort. I\'m also happy that you\'ve liked all my Tom/Merope stories. They\'re my favourite pairing. :)
Date: 08/12/06 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter One
It has been only now that I've made the connection of this story to that of 'Born on the Streets'.
You've kept the suspense going nicely here...I'm really hanging onto what happens.
She wondered how an innocent question about some white mountains made her feel so guilty.
Ahh, nicely done. I was wondering when Merope would begin to feel the guilt or if she would feel anything at all. Lovely beginning.
“Good morning, Tom,” he said sweetly as her husband walked into the room. “Did you sleep well?”
“Where the bloody hell is the bacon?”
I'm glad that you included this part, as it just justifies that the only thing connecting Merope and Tom in the Amortentia. There wouldn't be a relationship at all if not for the potion.
I'd like to see more of Tom's thoughts, though. So far, you have Merope's. It would be interesting if we had Tom's to compare.
Overall, great chapter!
Author's Response: I\'m working on another fic with this pairing from Tom\'s point of view. I have this story from Meropes, \"Born on the Streets\" from Sara\'s, I thought Tom deserved a fic. I hope you enjoy the rest of this!
Date: 08/12/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Two
Intriguing turn of events. I didn't really anticipate something like this happening, but if you've taken the time to write a chapter on it, it must have some importance later on.
I can understand Merope's jealousy but it would be peculiar that Sara would publicly show her distaste of the woman.
Up to this point, you've shown Tom as pretty much helpless. I was going to comment on this if you kept it up, but I see I do not have to. In this chapter, Tom is portrayed as able to fend for himself but Merope is still the person he focuses on the most.
Merope knew that Tom was much better at coming up with excuses on hand than she was, but it was a very logical explanation. After all, when had he lied to her before?
Superb job with this here! It gives me the impression that she doesn't worry about his loyalty, something that might be the end of her undoing, which it actually is.
“Mmff” Tom groaned as he rolled over in his bed.
A comma is needed before the quotation marks end. Just a typo, but I'm being nitpicky here. :)
Author's Response: Haha, yeah, thanks for finding the typo. Also, I tend to do that a lot-- get you just to the point where a character is starting to annoy you and then completely turn them around. I hope Tom didn\'t bother you too much. ;) Thanks for the review!
Date: 08/12/06 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Three
Merope is doing exactly what I thought she would do -- ease up on the Amortentia. I feel sorry for Merope. Here she is, loving Tom and having to result to using a love potion to get him to 'love' her back. She is foolish to assume that Tom is in love with her, but it is what anyone else would do. I like those little "hints" that you put throughout the fic:
After she had said this, Merope’s heart lightened. Maybe this was true.
I admit I was a bit confused as to why she was feeling so sick, but the end explains everything. I'm very glad that I chose to read this story, as it is of great quality.
I would still like to see Tom's side of this, though.
Author's Response: As I said, Toms POV is coming later, but this fic is supposed to be focused on Merope. And, I tried not to pull the whole \"I\'m pregnant\" thing up too fast, so that\'s why I added all the sickness stuff in. I\'m glad it all explained itself in the end, though.