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Little Witches by shewhoguards
Rated: 3rd-5th Years •Summary: “Much less interesting that way.” Sirius retorted cheerfully. He took a deep breath, and then began, “Narcissa’s crying in her room, Bellatrix is threatening to curse her hair into falling out if she ever dares to speak of You-Know-Who like that again, and to curse whoever you’re seeing with the pox. Your parents are despairing of all three of you, and Mother says that you’re a disgrace and a waste of every opportunity you’ve ever been given. Oh, and Regulus is howling.” He grinned at his cousin, face so bright that it was hard to resist laughing. “Merry Christmas?”
Sadie Murray and the Enigma Scroll by star_sailor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Sadie Murray is your typical American girl, stuck in the middle of her family. Sadie has an older sister who is popular, talented at everything she does, and lavishes in the respect she garners. Sadie's younger sister is pretty, adorable, cute, and uses these characteristics to cover up the fact that she's a nasty little brat. But Sadie's luck just might change when she receives a letter saying she has been accepted to The Salem Institute of Magical Learning.
Date: 07/25/08 Title: Chapter 9: How To Write With A Quill
Excellent story so far, but I did see a few typos or odd sentences I'd like to point out.
"Sadie was almost ran into a girl who was hustling up the steps with a wizard hat in hand as she ran to the upper dorms."
The 'was seems unnecessary, or perhaps a 'by' should be inserted after 'into'?
"He was about halfway up to the girl's underclassmen rooms when without warning, the entire staircase slipped away beneath both Timothy and Sadie, becoming a smooth chute, almost like a slide."
Perhaps a comma before 'without warning', and maybe removing 'beneath both Timothy and Sadie' as we know they are both on the stairs and the next sentence describes Sadie falling.
"enough so the culprit who ran up the stairs could hear"
Perhaps change 'so' to 'that'?
"Sadie was happy to see that most of the people entering the Central Hall were wearing either their uniforms, their school robes, or clothes Muggle clothes."
Maybe delete the first 'clothes'
"Kelsey almost choked the eggs she had taken with a laugh."
Not sure what is meant here, did she almost choke on the eggs by laughing?
"let Kelsey take a letter off its leg."
Off his leg, as you already called the owl a he
"taken to reading books in a tree on the east side of The Lawn,"
Is he actually in the tree, or under it?
"people like the daring and nerves in the people who play it."
Perhaps 'in those who play it'?
"Sorry, Professor! I guess I studied read too far ahead in the book. Let me put that back,"
This is just a confusing sentence to me.
"needed to learn in this new world she entered, "
Perhaps 'she had entered'
"spinning clockwise in a circle why petting his broom's handle."
'While petting his broom's handle.'?
"Others, such as Nakin, Amna, and over three-fourths of the Noctowls, though Tiffany Chan, Raven Fox, and Alaa Jasim did it splendidly."
I believe part of this sentence is missing.
Really, it is a wonderful story and these are just suggestions to make it an easier read. Please don't be offended.
Author's Response: Not offending at all! Thanks for the suggestions; it's much appreciated. :] Thanks for reading as well - I'm glad you enjoy the story so far.
Challah and Pumpkin Juice by Calico
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Tzipporah Stein, a Jew living in Vienna, Austria on the eve of WWII, is shocked when she gets a letter telling her she is a witch. The volatile state of Europe as it waits for both a muggle and a wizarding war to begin has prompted Hogwarts to take in students from many countries. How will Tzipporah handle magic, mischief, and even a little romance while trying to be true to her religion and culture at the same time?
Date: 06/08/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Eleven: The Detention
March 13, 1938- Nazi union with Austria. Although it was more like Austria being seized by the Nazis.
Author's Response: Yay! I\'m so glad somebody got it! Now anyone who reads these reviews (and I imagine very few people do, besides me) will know what coming up next...
Date: 07/27/08 Title: Chapter 16: Epilogue
Woah. This story was just so amazing, especially this chapter. I cannot tell you how very much it has touched me.
Date: 05/23/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Nine: Chanukah Revelations
I'm so glad that Tzipporah can be herself with her friends. I also have an inkling that a certain young Potter might be finding out soon. Give us an update soon as you can, please.
~Bella
Shining Through Blackness by luinrina
Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Isla was born into a well-known and respected family: the Blacks. She grew up with their traditions and was proud to be who she was – until she met someone who showed her that what she knew was not the only world.
Follow a young witch through her teenage years and discover how a traditional one will change and rebel against what she believed was the only truth.
Due to plot development in chapters nine and ten I've changed the warning from "None" to "Sexual Situations" for the rest of the story. In some chapters there are still punishments which do not qualify as “Abuse”; those are meant as reprimands for bad behaviour, a common method in the middle of the nineteenth century. If you can’t stand children being smacked by parents or others as well as any sexual situation occuring, do not read that story. You have been warned…
Date: 08/07/08 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter Ten - ... Sixteen
This chapter was definitately worth the wait. You described the conflicting feelings of Savaric and Atreus beutifully, and their duel was vivid in my mind. I really appreciate the hard work you put into the chapter, and am quite glad you battled through until you were satisfied with it instead of submitting it beforehand. I can't wait for the rest of the story.
Author's Response: Thank you for having a lot of patience with me. *huggles loyal reader* And know that chapter eleven is as good as written; it just needs another paragraph and some polishing up after chapter ten turned a slightly different route than it had been originally intended, and it should be with my beta at the beginning of next week at the latest. Thanks for not letting me down and for reviewing.
~Bine
Date: 06/22/08 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter Nine - Sweet...
Solaris the cat, Solaris the Hufflepuff....I like the Hufflepuff better. Although, he seems to be a bit stalkerish (is that a word?) around Isa in this chapter. Not that I blame him. The problem being, of course, that Savaric was only pretending to be kind and I think he's not; yet Isla doesn't realize that he is a fake.
Another great chapter and I hope you get through the writer's block soon.
Author's Response: Thanks for another review, and I\'m working on chapter ten. I have ideas again, but currently paralelly write for a challenge which is a little bit more urgent in my eyes because of a deadline. But I try to not let my STB readers down. In three weeks I\'m on working holiday and will then have time to dedicate myself some more to STB.
Robert isn\'t stalking Isla, they just run into each other quite regularly considering the fact that both live and learn in the same castle. Funny though he seems to have only eyes for Isla...
Ah, and Savaric... I admit, I\'ve grown attached to him and don\'t want to present him in a too bad light, but it\'s hard - very hard - to stay true to my story. I\'m tinkering with another unthought of plot twist, so watch out for how the story will continue.
Thanks again for being a dedicated reader - and repetitive reviewer. Your words make my day! Cheers.
Date: 05/20/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two - Silver Fir
Is the legend foreshadowing? I hope so. I love daydreamers, and for some reason Isla puts me in mind of a certain blond Ravenclaw. I wonder what truth Isla will be looking for; maybe the truth about who she is?
Author's Response: Of course it is, why else would I put it in, then? ;p And maybe... stay tuned to find out. Thank your for reading and reviewing.
Date: 05/25/08 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter Five - Stanton Drew
Oh, I don't like Savaric. Shooting glass daggers at someone, even Gryffindors, is appalling! I understand why Isla was disappointed about not finding out what the girl in the legend was searching for. I think if she found out know it would give her a huge clue into her own life and its just to early for that. As for the betrothal ceremony, I love how you gave the Circles of Stanton Drew their own powerful magic. I love the idea that relics that are baffling to us Muggles are of great import in the Wizarding World. Please update with chapter six soon because I really want to see what Isla decides to say.
Off topic but that was my first ever mention in an author's note!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for your steady reviews, clabbert2101. I\'m happy that you liked the scene with the Circles of Stanton Drew; I had to look for a while until I found a site that served my purposes.
Chapter 6 is currently with my beta (again, there were parts that needed rewriting due to understanding issues). But I\'ll hurry with another update.
By the way, what did you mean with your last sentence? (You can answer me that in a PM when going to my bio-site. Thanks in advance.)
Date: 06/02/08 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter Six - Solaris Stella
Yes, a Hufflepuff. I knew he had to show up eventually. And we finally get down to Isla's search for truth, or at least its beginning. All from the mouth of a second year Muggleborn. Who would have guessed? I really like the scene where they both discover the information needed to complete their project, and I especially like Hitchens comparison of Isla to the Cheshire Cat. Alice and Wonderland is one of my favorites. And how Hitchens sent Isla a book of fairy tales to Isla for Christmas? Genius. I hope it becomes her favorite book. This is probably my favorite chapter so far! Keep up the good work and take as long as you need on the updates,
~Bella
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, I\'m glad you liked the chapter. The scene with Robert\'s comparison wasn\'t planned, it just came in while writing the paragraphs, as did the scene with the Christmas present. I\'m hoping to update around the weekend, so stay tuned - it\'s going to get even more interesting as it is even now.
Date: 05/20/08 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three - Slytherin
Hmm....Slytherin, is it? The hat is right this shall indeed be interesting. Even a hat can provide a good hint, and now I want to know the truth even more than Isla.
Author's Response: Thank your for sticking. Chapter four is going into the queue right away.
Date: 11/03/08 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven - Halloween
AH! AN UPDATE! *squishes*
Other than that, I feel so bad for Isla and Robert. I can tell that Isla feels trapped, and Robert is trying to help. I just hope it works out.
Author's Response: *squishes back* I'm happy that you liked it. Thanks for the review. And chapter twelve is in the queue.
Date: 11/08/08 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve - Search
I was wondering when the silver fir would show up. Is Isla's wand made from the first silver fir? How intriguing. We see a return to Isla the Dreamer in this chapter, and I'm quite glad because I've been missing the daydreaming Black. I feel like the main plot is being set in motion, and this is quite possibly my favorite chapter.
I do have a few nitpicks, though.
wounds its way across the firmament
'winds' would be much more appropriate here.
wide-awake yet from the sleep still stinging eyes
The phrasing here is awkward. It would read better if you eliminated 'from the sleep'
another time that night the dream’s images
I think in this instance 'for the last time' would work much better.
Thanks so much for another great chapter! *huggles*
Author's Response: *huggles back* Thanks, Bella! And I'll have a look at the sentences you nitpicked. I'm afraid though another update will have to wait. Sorry. I see what I can do with writing. One day I'll finish the story for sure.
~Bine
Date: 06/18/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter Eight - Seeing Beyond
Who will come out on top, Savaric or Isla? Hmm...quite difficult to guess. The trust that has grown between Isla and her mother is a wonderful touch and I'm glad you've included it.
Author's Response: Thanks for your comment, and I\'m glad I took on the idea when it hopped into my mind the first time. I somehow had the urge to show the readers more about the relationships within the family.
As for who will come out on top: read on and find out.
Date: 06/09/08 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter Seven - Surprises
I knew Savaric was no good. I'm quite glad Isla has finally wised up to that fact. The continuance of Robert worked out very well. His is and Isla's relationship has become more strained, but I'm sure they'll pull through, especially with Isla's mother's advice. "You are at first you." Take that to heart, and Isla will be better off than most people, even though it probably won't seem that way at first.
Author's Response: Thanks for your thoughts. I\'m happy that you\'re still reading and continuously reviewing. And although I\'m bursting to tell you how this story goes on, I\'m afraid you (and all other readers) will have to wait ;p
My beta\'s computer is up and running again, and I\'ve got back chapter eight around an hour ago. So hopefully it won\'t be too much longer until it\'s going online.
Date: 05/22/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four - Savaric
Oh dear. I'm not sure that I like Savaric at all. Quite obviously (to me anyways), Isla doesn't truly like him either. Although, her fainting could just be from excitement. But if it were, I'd be very very very very disappointed and my opinion of her would drop quite a bit. I hope the truth of whatever hits her soon or I might have to pretend to. Or maybe not. That makes me no better than her father, and I don't like him at all. Who am I to condemn a daydreamer? I myself am an expert and can get away with it with none the wiser.
Author's Response: Thank you, clabbert2101, for reviewing. I could make it easy and tell you how Isla thinks about Savaric and what it is with her fainting, but that would take all the fun in reading the next chapters. So stay tuned to find the answers.
Date: 05/23/08 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter Four - Savaric
That's okay, I don't really want to know. What fun would that be, eh? You'll tell the story much better within the fic than you could in a response to a review. Speaking of which, I feel bad that I've been the only reviewer for chapters 2, 3, and 4. Here's something to help: Shining Through Blackness is on my favorites list. Please update soonish,
~Bella
Author's Response: Thank you so much, clabbert2101. I\'m really flattered that my first ever published story made it to your favorites list. And I\'ve just submitted chapter five to the queue, and I\'m looking forward to your opinion about it. Thank you for reading.
Date: 01/24/09 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter Thirteen - Saturday
*squeals ecstatically*
FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It took you long enough, but this chapter was well worth the wait. I loved the dream sequence with Robert, and the transition between their thoughts before that. The whole chapter has a feeling of anticipation, and I absolutely refuse to wait so long for the next one. *squishes*
Author's Response: Yay! *squishes back* Thanks for leaving another review. And, um... I try... but I can't promise anything. There are my other stories that need nurturing, too, lol. But I will definitely keep writing cause I love my story to pieces. :)
Date: 05/17/09 Title: Chapter 14: Chapter Fourteen - Significance
I'll try for coherence, shall I?
Isla meets the freaking Emperor of Austria?!? :O
Okay, so that's not really all that shocking, but that he took an interest in her because of the myth is (seeing as I'm pretending that the story is real right now, and putting myself in Isla's shoes). And Savaric.....he's grown on me. In an overprotective sort of way. I still like Bob better....
By the way, I burst out laughing when Isla said she doesn't speak German. I know she's British and all, but you are German, so....yeah.
As for the little dusty shop of mystery.... :O (yes I did use the same smiley twice in one review)
I'm a bit sad now, though, because I can tell the story is getting towards the end. And I don't want it to end. Not that I want you to prolong it indefinitely by leaving months between updates, either.
~Bella (who didn't quite manage to be coherent after all)
Author's Response: *huggles* The incoherency made me laugh though. So you get a thanks for that lol. And yeah, I might be German, but that doesn't mean Isla can speak it, right? I'm not Isla. ;) And I'm working on the next chapter, honestly, I do. My muse just... let's not talk about her. <.<
Always The Same, Yet Always Different by luinrina
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Every year the Sorting Hat thinks up new lyrics to present on September first to introduce the first years to Hogwarts. The following poem is what the Hat could have sung one year.
Date: 07/15/08 Title: Chapter 1: Always The Same, Yet Always Different
Longer than most Sorting Hat songs, but I really enjoyed how the Hat told of Hogwarts' history and about Voldemort and the Trio, and the Battle of Hogwarts. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. And it took my sister and an awful long time to come up with including Voldemort, the Trio and Hogwarts' Battle.