I am no longer an active member/moderator of MNFF. I will pop up now and then since I do plan to finish DTB but as far as new stories go, this is it for me. Thank you.
Hmmm...
I must say that I really liked the description and image you've created with Peter's POV. It is hard to like Peter because he's a traitor, but I found this one appealing to say the least.
I particularly liked this sentence:
He knew that voice. He might not have heard it for twelve years but he would never forget it.
You definitely stayed in character with Peter, and explained why he decided to betray the Marauders.
I don't have any nit-picks except that at first when you "flashbacked" it didn't appear to have much of a point, but you connected it nicely back to reality at the end.
Kudos!
mugglemathdor ~ Knight of the Turnip Table
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m glad you liked it- I am about to reply to your PM now. I admit the flashback doesn\'t appear to have much relevence but it was designed to show the friendship the Marauders had and also how heavy footed Sirius is. I\'m glad you liked my portrayal of Peter :)
This ballad was written for the January Ballad Challenge and received first place!
I do not know much about poetry, ballads, or limericks. However, I must say that I really liked this poem you wrote about the beginnings of Harry's ancestry. The fact that it rhymes so smoothly doesn't escape me; it is no wonder you won first place.
I think you have a flair with words, dear. I particularly liked this part:
You Knights of the Turnip Table are absolutely commendable. I\'m so thankful for the review, and you should definitely take a crack at The Odyssey. :) Thanks again!
Interesting.
I sort of expected something else, and definitely not for Harry to commit suicide >>
Nevertheless, it was well-written. One thing, the part with Godric Gryffindor was sort of vague. I'm sorry to say that I didn't quite get it.
But you did a good job though. =]
~mugglemathdork/Knight of the Turnip Table
Author's Response: Thank you. I know, that part is something that I had a problem with, and usually when that happens it doesn\'t sound very good. Thank you for your review!
Hi Andrea!
*hugs*
Your writing it very descriptive and it definitely captures the imagination of the reader. Good work with that. All throughout the story there's loads of imagery and lively description of the food, the surroundings, and practically everything surrounding Hermione and Draco at the beginning. However, you also keep it going through the rest of the story! XD
I thought this line was particularly cheesy though: To you - the incredible woman that makes this the paradise that it is, the woman whose beauty far surpasses anything seen here and the only woman I want to spend my life with, now and forever. I love you.”
BUT I loved it! Lol.
I thought it was particularly cruel that you have Hermione wake up from the 'dream' and freak out. Lol. But it was also nice to see the perfect characterization come out and play with the tears, and the logic! XD
I was rather surprised by the twist at the end though. I was going to scream "OOC" at you for Draco and Hermione just talking but then it became clear they were together. Lol. How cute! >>
Author's Response: Thank you so much for tagging my story and reviewing it, you wonderful \'Claw you! I really appreciate you for taking the time to tell me things you liked about the story and even that you thought that one part was cheesy. *laughs* Yeah, if Sirius had said those words, you\'d be drooling. You can\'t fool me! XD
*hugs and squishes*
~Andrea
I
Awww! It's finally up!
I'm so happy for you, Sarah!
I already told you this, but I loved your characterization of Sirius. It's so on the dot. And I love how you have him laugh at the end due to the situation...it's so him.
I'm so happy for you, and that it's up. And I'm glad it fit into the Spring Challenge! Yay! Good Luck! *crosses fingers*
BTW: Thanks so much for recommending me as a beta in the beta boards! *hugs*
~Ritta/mugglemathdork
Author's Response: Well, J.K. made up the laughing, but it was a great place to go from. I\'m happy that it\'s up too.
I\'m glad it\'s finally up too. It took a long time, but I\'m happy with the results.
You\'re welcome for the recommendation; you deserved it. You were great.
Really good, Gina.
I loved this sonnet. *Sorry I called it a poem*
I don't know much about poetry/rhyme but this is so eloquent, and concise. I love how you captured Sirius Black's life story in less than 15 sentences. Imagine that!
~Ritta
Author's Response: Hi Ritta! Thanks so much for reading this poem. . . sonnet. . . whatever, lol. I\'m glad you enjoyed it. Eloquent? What a compliment, thank you! Thanks for the lovely review, I appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
First, splendid writing. The beginning definitely captures the attention of the reader regardless of the plot at that point. It's rather descriptive and eloquent, yet gruesome at the same time. Whoa.
I think you captured Hermione's anger, resentment, sadness really well in the third paragraph:
Hermione is displaced; her life revolves around not a job, not a house, not a career, but on the edge of survival. A few moments of blood-pumping, heart-racing life when she’s on the battlefield and she screams her battle cry, a valkerie in tattered robes and tear-stained shirts, but when the dust settles and the last drops of life coagulate on the ground, life recedes into the murky waters of a tomorrow that currently doesn’t exist.
You write Hermione in a weak state of mind, and vulnerable, but on the flip side, she's also a valkerie, historical strong warrior women. Good analogy.
Then of course, you write the shining light to her darkness in the form of a letter. It was great! I like how you make Viktor hopeful and being the proverbial beacon of light.
And you did a splendid job bringing it all back together to the new year. XD
I don't really like Hermione/Viktor but you did a good job of writing them together while keeping them in character.
Props!
~Ritta/mugglemathdork/mgle_teacher
Gina,
I already read your story once, but I had to re-read the ending 'cause it just killed me the last time I read it. You did such a great job with the characterization of Peter that I just had to let you know again. Remember I fangirl your writing. LOL.
Anyway, like I said before you make Peter so human, you can almost feel the resentment yourself as Peter is feeling it. Great writing, and I had such a blast being your plot beta. I've never really done plot work only before, and I'm so happy that I got a chance to work with you! Yay!
Great work once again!Oh, and I loved the last line!
~Ritta
Author's Response: Ritta! *squishes* Thank you SO MUCH for your help with this story, and your support when i just wasn\'t sure I was getting it right. I\'m laughing at your comments about Peter because I just think he is such a despicable character that I\'m rather surprised at how I wrote an entire story partially sympathetic to him! This story came so fast, though, perhaps it was already written and I simply channeled it from somewhere. ;)
Thanks again for your help, and for leaving such a lovely first review. *huggles* ~Gina :)
This is interesting, V.V. I never thought of Snape in Gryffindor. You sure write him as a quirky little fellow. And rather full of snarkiness for one so young.
Great job with the characterization, and making it believable for Snape to be sorted into Gryffindor. XD
~Ritta/mugglemathdork/mgle_teacher
Awww.
I loved this!
I particularly like the narration and description, as well as the lack of dialogue. It's all very well done. I rather enjoy fics where there is no needs for words. You've done a good job.
XD
-Ritta
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for your lovely review. :)
Awww...great story, Kate. I never pictured Draco in Gryffindor. He's a true Slyth to me. >>
You did a good job characterizing him as worried in regards to his sorting/parents. I was shocked to read that the Malfoy's would get pregnant again just so that they'd have a heir. That's interesting.
Again, great work!
XD
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'ve always wondered what the reactions of his family would be like if it actually happened, so I decided to play around with it a bit. Thanks, again!
Great story, but I have one question...what happened to Ron? O.o
Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story - that really means alot to me!
You ask a great question. When Draco was Sorted into Gryffindor, I focused completely on him and his interaction with Harry and Hermione. Ron was Sorted into a different House. I\'m turning this into a chaptered fic, so I\'ll be able to tell more about Ron. Stay tuned! :-)
*hugs*
~Andrea
-sigh-
I never finished reading your story until today Ashley. It was sad. I was really rooting for Harry and Hermione but I should have known better what with the Dark/Angsty category . LOL
Either way, you did a splendid job!
Author's Response: Haha I know, right? I usually don\'t do sad...this is a surprising story for me. THanks for the review lady! :) ~GG
Ashley that's a great story!
The action at the beginning is wonderful! I was captivated by your choice of words in describing Luna's hearing, and running skills. A jackrabbit?! =]
And you did a wonderful job with tying in Luna's patronus into the story all over what with her running like a jackrabbit, and the family of bunnies. How lovely.
I particularly loved how you describe six year old Luna. XD
Lulu was a great nickname! And the Giant Button-Nosed Cottontails? Is that your version of the Stork? o.0
If so...wonderful! XD
I loved this paragraph:
Luna kept her eyes and ears open, just like her mother had always instructed her, while the powerful memory came surging back in a wave of emotion. She was young, reunited with Cecilia Lovegood, but older and stronger, too. She held all the advantages of knowledge that came with age, allied with the incredible happiness she felt as a child
And the last sentence...wonderful. You did a great job with this, especially with our dear Luna. You certainly 'get her' XD
Good work, girl!
-Ritta
Author's Response: Ritta! *squishes* I\'ve been so bad at responding to reviews ever since school started...I feel bad for leaving this for so long. This is such an incredibly review. You\'re all praise, but I\"m not complaining. :) I miss you like but thanks again for this lovely gem of a review! makes me all warm and squishy inside. Hehe. ~Ashley
I absolutely loved this story. XD
It was cute, and witty. It's rare to see a well-written humour fic so props to you.
--Ritta--
Oh. Andrea! This is wonderful!
I love all the descriptive narrative all throughout the story.
The last lines just 'guh' they killed me inside. You did a wonderful job with this assignment/story. XD
-Ritta
Author's Response: Hi Ritta!
Thank you so much for reading my sad fic. I cried when I wrote the last lines, so I know how you felt when you read them. They are a killer! *sniffles*
I really appreciate you for leaving such a wonderful review!
*squishes*
~Andrea
o.0
I'm not quite sure I understand...but it was lovely nonetheless. I love your writing, annie!
Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry, most of my fics don\'t make much sense, not even to me xD
What could possibly be a higher form of madness than falling in love with someone who does not share your feelings? Well, for starters, if that person happens to be your best friend, then that certainly qualifies.
Albus Potter has fallen prey to this quandary, and through a self-exploratory journey, he learns much about what it’s like to love and what it’s like to lose himself.
This placed second in the February Great Hall Month of Love Challenge - First Love.
This fic was nominated for a 2010 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Same-Sex Pairing.
I never got a chance to review this story properly during QSQ judging = Which is a shame because there was one part that tugged at my heart-strings and it was this:
“Because I care about you more than just about everybody I know. I owed it to you to make sure I didn’t feel the same.” He got up and put his hands on my quivering shoulders. “I’m so sorry, Al. I really don’t know what else to say.”
I loved how honest and simple and logical Scorpius comes across. So very Slytherin. And yet so not at the same time. I loved every bit of this story.
The Order of Ravenclaw House Elves.
Author's Response:
Aww, hugs from the Ebil Apprentice.
One thing I really wanted from this story was for Scorpius, despite not being the ideal person, as he's rather superficial and clueless about Albus's feelings during most of it, deep down, he really does care about his best mate. I wanted him to be, you know... like anyone else.
I'll be honest, I remember in your LJ post when you lamented how many entries in this category fell under the umbrella of 'who the hell nominated this and why?' I was a bit paranoid that you meant this story. I'm glad to know it wasn't... more than you know. :D
Thanks for the visit, dear. I shall see you around.
~Jessss
Hi. I validated your story just a couple of minutes ago. I wanted to tell you that I greatly enjoyed this, and I was pleasantly surprised by how well-written this was and how thoughtful it was as well. I don't particularly enjoy Arthur/Molly or Molly's character, but you've managed to make her 'like-able.' Thanks! I've recc'ed your story over at my LJ to my friends. Hopefully you get more reviews for this lovely piece.
Author's Response: Thanks for the praise! I generally write Ron/Hermione but I wanted to challenge myself a little bit this time. Molly as a character is definitely a hard one to get right and I'm glad I was able to do that. Thanks again.