Interesting. I've never read anything about this before. :)
I really like how you show the phoenix/owner bond here. It is very strong and Fawkes and Dumbledore were like best friends in a way. You could, however, elaborate more on this bond between them. Show more memories maybe. And also, add more of Dumbledore's thoughts on Fawkes' death.
In the beginning there you wrote, 'Dumbledore reached his head' I think 'Dumbledore leaned his head' would fit better there.
Also, it's penseive, not pensieve. I'm pretty sure.
Wonderfully written, I enjoyed reading this! :)
~ Polaris (Vardy)
Its so sad!
Well done! I lofve it! Well...no i don't...love the bit where Tom takes away their memories...but I love the way you've written it. :)
Dumbledore has deja vu!
Its all so complex and...mind boggling in a way...destiny and time and fate...*goes all philosophical on herself*
Ok. I'll stop now...Anyway. Great chap! I've been waiting so long for this to go up! *is happy*yet sad at the same time*
Poor James. He's probably all torn up inside...and messed up right now.
But, time can heal. Hopefully Lily doesn't take as long again to admit her feelings...
Well, Great job!
Take care! Happy writing!
~ Polaris
A kiss is not just a kiss. After a disastrous Valentine's date with Cho, Harry finds himself alone with Luna and discovers what a kiss should be. Humour and Romance in a story that started with canon and went What If?
Kerichi!
It’s an interesting story, it really did capture my attention. And it’s a pairing I’ve never read before. ^^
The description in the beginning about Harry being so nervous, is wonderful. The little things make all the difference. Him reaching out to take her hand when she abruptly stops and then he can’t. Awkwardness. He doesn’t like Valentine’s Day very much, does he? We talked about Valentine’s Day in Euro class a while ago. Apparently St Valentine was a priest who married young people who were in love, instead of doing arranged marriages. But then they killed him. On February 14. So Valentine’s Day is the day the guy died...*rambles*
Back to the story.
‘She slimed me.’ Lovely description right there. Accurate too. Cho seems very full of herself here, and maybe she was, I can’t really say. Haven’t exactly paid much attention to her character in the books, nor have I ever written her. But it seems to fit well with the story, and shows another side of Cho we haven’t really seen.
I like how you compare Madam Puddifoot’s to Umbridge’s office. Both are like places of punishment for Harry.
Luna is smarter than people give her credit for. It was a very plausible ruse, and it worked as well. It made both her and Harry happier than they had been before.
‘Mona Lisa smile.’
Author's Response: Hola Amiga! I\'m so happy you read my one and only Harry/Luna story! Made me sad, HBP did, not just because of the way Dumbledore died and Draco was reduced to crying to Myrtle, lol, but because what I would have *sworn* was the beginning of a Harry/Luna romance fizzled out when he noticed Ginny\'s hair dancing the macarena or something! Thanks for the \'Mona Lisa smile\'. :D
I really like how you portrayed Lily's emotions. very effective. But you could also have added somehting about her friends' reactions to what she was saying, that she wasn't really like that or somehtign then she would just fall into an even deeper pit of despair. It happens like that all the time. Then it would be even sweeter when James comes and saves her from falling into it forever. *my two cents*
James could also say that his flaw was that he was too arrogant or somehting liek Lily told him in book 5.
All-in-all I really liked this story. Its differnt form what you usually read about Lily and James. Good Job! :)
Author's Response: I like your two cents. Thanks! I thought her friends\' reactions would be irrelevant for this one-shot. Maybe in another. But you\'re right about James\'s flaws. They\'re important enough to note *smacks self* Thanks!
Kim!!!!!!!! Love your story! great job! like Syd, i'm glad bio class isn't goign to waste! kudos to you Kim!!!! and good luck!
Author's Response: Haha, thanks. I hope I can keep this in check with my busy schedule.
mwahahaha! No one has guessed the nice clue in this chap yet! :O Do I get to guess if no one gets it? jk jk. Let em wait till chappie 8!
Yays! You left my ending in! XD I just noticed.
BTW. Do I get to be an OC? I'm going to keep asking you. :P
27? What?!?!?! ONLY 27 more days till school. You're kidding right? *keels over and dies*
Gah! I feel so stupid now. You smart people! *cowers in her corner*
Much love and hearts and many happy birthday wishes. Early of course.
Polaris
Author's Response: thanks and I\'m still depating wether or not you get to be an OC. 20something more coglianese free days untill we\'re cursed with his insufferably bad teaching for another whole year. sigh. anyway, thanks for the bday wishes too!
It's up! :D Yay!
lol. Good luck Syd. Want your chap 7 or was it 6? before I leave?
*sigh* I can't guess! gah! Well, it's kinda logical b/c I came up with it. haha.
Do I get to be an OC? :P
Anyway. Nice chap. Lovely, wonderful, long, all that jazz.
You rock my sox!
Author's Response: its chap 6, and after yours i\'ll have it completely edited aside from graces. And guess what? I\'m PI accredited!
*squeeeeeeee!* Your chap got up so fast! :) Kudos! lol. I'm giving you a review w/o reading that cuz i read it already! I love having connections. lol. And I love Chap 5! haha. I shall edit it soon. :) Anyway. *throws you an acceptance aprty* :) Don't leave 2 spaces btwn sentences anymore! :)
Take Care! Happy writing! :) Stay cool!
~ Polaris
Author's Response: i\'ll try to stay cool, but the summer heat...it\'s vicious! the spacing thing sucked, but o wells.
-snhpf
Oooooooo. I remember this! haha. :D :D
*hugs* It's finally up and I finally came and reviewed when I should be doing homework and studying for the chem test you will have to bring me a coffin for. *pain* Anyway.
Author's Response: hey! i sent you a youtube stanford band play link. watch it.
XD Nice. Over the hedge. Yes I did suggest that. haha. I just saw that....lol. But it IS fitting. You said in the story that the ivy made the house look more like a hedge than anything else. lol
~ Polaris
Author's Response: ya. in the end i couldn\'t decide on which title, bu t i had said the chap was titled \'Will Rescue\' at the end of the last chap, but i decided to put yours in too.
-snhpf
*gasp* Syd! How could you!!!!!!!! the evil cliffie ending. >.< ah well. can't have Ron/Hermy ship w/o the Hermy. ^^
Author's Response: no my friend, we can't have the R/H ship w/o the 'H'...no we most certainly can't....
*jumps up and down* Chappie 2! :D Syd!!!!!!! Love your story. love it love it love it! can't wait to read edited Chappie 3!!!!! Great Job! Healer Snape. I'd be slightly suspicious of her if i was in teh story. but she's an awesome charrie! original. hopefully she's diff from snape. *crosses fingers* well, neway. Great Job and good luck with chappie 7!!!!!! and the ones after. ^^
Author's Response: thanks! i'm still writing chapter 7 but hopefully should have it 4 u to read by next week. and guess what? chapter 3 is UP!!!!!!!! only a day in the queue! i'm just lucky like that. i need to read your story monday, k? thanks again!
Sydney Sydney Sydney. of course you'd like that name! XD
Hola! I finally got time to read your story! Syd was bugging me about it. And a bunch of other ones too...So I'm slowly but surely going through Sydney's uber long list >.< lol
I love it Very nice job! :)
You need to name one of the twins Sirius! I don't care which one though...lol. XD
Adios!
~ Polaris
Author's Response: hahai\'llkeep that in mind...i <333 you
LOL! Haha.
That was a totally unexpected ending. trust Fred and george! Or should I say, Gred and Forge? tee hees.
Anyway. Nice job! Very nice twist.
Hermione was quoted? *go Hermy!*
:)
Take Care! Happy writing!
~ Polaris
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I\'ll try to fit \"Hermy\", \"Gred\", and \"Forge\", in another storie! :-)
April showers bring May...hassles? Bridesmaid blues and big trouble from small favours complicate Tonks' life when all she wants is to bring her love for Remus into full bloom.
Kerichi!
It's me! Tee hee. I found your story here too! :)
And its not up on fanfiction yet so I decided to read it here. I have no patience. lol.
There's no moon in the title! *gasp of utter amazement!* Will they all have spring in them now?
Anyway. A camping trip? That shoudl be...interesting...
Fuss sounds horrible. I'd never want to meet her
Ha ha. Grapes.
"I have the slight suspicion that I'm madly in love with you" I love that line! Its so cute. *gush* *is a hopeless romantic*
I agree with Tonks, poems shouldn't be about hate. Poetry is a beautiful thing and shouldn't be used to...give meaning to somethign so ugly
Very nice serenade...
I think she was plastered too! :P
The poem was so cute!
Tonks probably would recite it on the Ministry steps. So full of self esteem. Love the way you portray her! :) Kudos and sushi!
*gasps* What happened to Julia? Tom better not have dumped her or something...or did someone die? *speculates*
It should be interesting to read a poem rhyming Remus and something...
Take care! Happy writing!
~ Polaris
Author's Response: I was totally surprised when this validated. Two chapters in one day? Inconceivable! LOL. I\'m not posting anywhere else until Friday, so I guess it\'s only fair for MNFF to be the one \"ahead\" for a change.
Oh the cleverness of you, the chapter titles will indeed all have Spring in them! ladyofthebookwormscame up with the \"I\'m madly in love with you\" line. I merely found a place to put it and gave Tonks a set up line to make it seem natural and not contrived, like a line a guy practices in front of a mirror. :D
Yay for hopeless romantics...and hopeful ones too! ^_~
SYDNEY!!!! It's up! And I just noticed. >>
Anyway. You got a title! ^^ Yays!
And you have sooooooo many reviews. *pokes reviews* Congrats!
Yay! Kim's cameo appearance!
Hi Kim! haha. Your right there. V And so is Christa! She's down there too! tee hees. *hyper*
Syd, you rock! :D
Did anyone get the clue in tUF yet?
~ Polaris
Author's Response: thanks. You rock too. As for the TUF clue, I\'ve got nothing. Maybe when 7 gets validated. I can tell you\'re hyper. teehee. adios!
Ah. The stupid stupid thing Harry did. *sigh* Though I can understand why he did it and I proably would have done the same thing if I was ever in that position... hmmmmmm. Editing in general shoudl be an olympic sport. I hate editing my own stuff b/c I never want to take struff out b/c I get really attached to it... Yes, you do have a major thign for cliffies. Its your new fetish. lol. Anyway, type chappie two ASAP! :) Take care, happy writing anf typing, lol.
Author's Response: i dont like the word fetish. it reminds me of this really REALLY wrong episode of CSI i once watched...*shudder* think of it as something else, a hobby, but not a fetish. ^^
It's up!!!!! :D :D :D
Finally! :) *does a happy dance*
You already know what I think of this story. lol. So why am I reviewing? B/c I can! :P
And you already have 6 reviews! :) Congrats! :D
*sighs* Poor Ginny...poor poor Ginny...
Anywho. Good luck, take care, have a GREAT summer! :D
Author's Response: thank you for everything.. i swear, editing my stories should be an olympic sport. anyway, chappie 2 coming soon!
-snhpf
I always found Harry/Katie a bit odd and out there, but I do like this. It's cute. :)
I like how you describe Katie's reactions, and the spilling water on herself. It's so simple, yet it makes it seem all the more real and plausible.
All the characters seem very in character, and you've written this in present tense. I applaud you. Writing in all present tense can be quite a challenge at times. :)
Also, at the end, I like how it all ties in nicely with the title, and the entire story.
~ Polaris
I have more to add! To my other review...
‘Boy Who Lived. Or Lives. Or Defeated. Whatever it is at the moment, but she's not really thinking about that sort of thing.’
I liked this bit. It really shows the how the whole news hype about Harry doesn’t affect her, and that she likes him for who he is. Someone like that is always nice to have, and Harry needs someone like that. It also shows the whole fickleness of the newspapers, that run whatever it is they think their readers will like.
I also love the whole ‘spiked water thing. It would be something the twins would do, and I often wonder myself in the real world if there’s something in the water when everyone starts to act all odd and funny. XD
Also, at the end, I like how it all ties in nicely with the title, and the entire story. ^^ And that it really was the twins. If only we had something like that in the real world. :P
~ Polaris