. I can taste the poison on your tongue
. And it never tasted sweeter
. Crystal tears and tainted love
. What could be better?
. Slicing flesh and yearning lust
. I crave the taste of your lips
. Beautiful and deadly
. SWEET ARSENIC KISSES


I am a sophmore living in the middle of the United States. My life is by far boring and there is nothing I can do about it. I'll admit one thing. I am not good. Nor have I ever truly been a good girl at heart. I am 15 years of age and already I've been through a lot more than many girls at my age and can say I wouldnt change a thing. I wouldnt be where I am today if it werent for the pain of my past. I couldnt appreciate the love I hold so dearly if I'd have never been victimized by lust. And I would never have the boyfriend I live for if I didnt know what it was like to want to die more than anything. I wouldnt see the point of living if it werent for the years I spent bleeding and I wouldnt know how to feel proud if I have never been ashamed and humiliated. Although I may not be happy with my life, I am happy with the people in it. I am in love, I am corrupted, I am flawed and I am damaged. I am just an average every day girl with a lot on my mind with a voice to speak my opinions and with a desire to stand out.


__*~+~*__*~+~*_A Glimpse into My World of Writing_*~+~*__*~+~*__

Wish upon every star that he'll love you just as much
But wishful thinking wont get you far and you'll die without his touch

Now you know how it feels to be me.
Faking a smile- it's so hard to breathe
Falling apart with blood on your sleeve
Hiding the truth-- They'll never believe
Slave of the blade--- you just want to be free.

So lay her down to rest
In a coffin made of stone
Six feet in the ground
Eternally alone...

My happiness is stained with your lies
But now I laugh as you bleed inside
A fallen angel in disguise
I'll pull off your wings and watch you die

I'd give you my heart but you'd just break it, I'd give you my life but you'd just take it. I'd tell you I love you but your reply would be fake, I've already learned from my mistakes.

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, but I'm the closest thing to hell that you've ever seen...

I hide my pain day by day And in the light I've lost my way

I hope you drown in my sorrow
And I hope my misery will kill
You don't deserve anything
Never have and never will

You hold my heart within your hands
And with one kiss I feel whole again.

I love you more than anything
For you I would die
But I love you even more than that
For you I will survive

And baby dont you know- you mean the world to me
And baby cant you see-- you're my everything.

Tonight the stars bleed her pain- She's broken again, nothings changed.

The minutes pass faster and faster but if life is so short why wont it just end?

The tears wont stop falling
As you try your hardest not to cry
And the blood wont stop flowing
As you try so hard to stay alive

You contaminate the air I breathe
With every breath you take
So smile and say your sorry
But you've never been so fake

A heart broken girl punished for what she’s done
Hiding her scars, she just wants to be loved

Stain the beauty with your blood
And tell them all you died for love

And I don't know what is happening
It just gets so hard to breathe
My dreams have become reality
And my reality is just a dream.

And looking at the empty skies
As the stars bleed your pain
You put the gun to your head
And shower blood on all the graves

And yet you stand by her side
As she turns your heaven into hell
Her biggest secret entrusted in you
She knows you'll never tell...
Rip away her deceiving wings
--She is not angel--

This love fills my heart
And rips it to shreds
No longer empty threats
Without you I’m dead

And as I slice through each layer of skin
I'm left in the sweetest bliss
Save yourself the pain I bring
I don't deserve to exist

Always my love
Through thick and through thin
Fighting back the tears
Slicing the skin
Pulling back the flesh
Revealing the sin
Always and forever
Failed in the end.

A shattered innocence falls apart
But it's just another result of a broken heart
Tear me apart just to watch me bleed
Because in the end that’s all I’ll ever need
And I wish for you to be by my side
But your promises hold only lies
I’ll fake a smile through my tears
And know in my heart you don’t really care
And with these pills I’ll find my cure
Cause you cant love me if you love her
And with this rope around my neck
I’ll grant you freedom and wont come back
And with this blood I’ll write my will
My heart is yours to hold and kill


Not the happiest of kids now am I?