This was a very sad story, probably more so for me because I can see this being a reality after book 7 finally comes out.


Ginny is a difficult character to write in these situations. It's hard to pin down the emotions she would be feeling, and how she would express them. For the most part, I think you did a fantastic job. The only emotion I didn't see conveyed that, in my mind, would be heavily present for Ginny at some point or another, was anger. It's a typical emotion in the process of grieving, especially when the death seemed senseless, like Harry falling after defeating Voldemort. Just my thoughts =)


I found a few typos, but I noticed your comment about not having the edits when this posted, so I won't point them out. Fantastic job!

Author's Response: \"This was a very sad story, probably more so for me because I can see this being a reality after book 7 finally comes out.\" <--That\'s really sad. I hope it doesn\'t end that way! *Writes JRK to ask to use as sequel* Lol, like THAT\'ll happen in this lifetime! And I get what you mean about her being angry. A lot of people go through anger when they mourn. And for the record, of all my fics, this is the most be-typod. Yay, I invented a word!

That was a very powerful story, and very very sad! I think you captured Cedric beautifully, his voice and thoughts seemed right on to me. Picturing winning the tournament over and over in his mind, his thoughts just before he died, realizing what was coming and knowing there was nothing Harry could do to stop it. I loved his recognition of good and evil near the end, suddenly seeing Harry for what he really is (the savior of the wizarding world!), and urging him to hold on. I think the last paragraph was the saddest, with the imagery of fading into the darkness. *tear* I only found one mistake. Cedric says Harry is "writing" on the ground, and I think you meant "writhing." Once again, fantastic job!

Author's Response: No, I meant \'writing\'. He\'s writing a secret message ;) Lol, kidding, I\'ll be sure to fix that! I never have typos unless I use the wrong word in its place so that spellcheck doesn\'t pick it up! Anyway, I\'m glad that you liked this; I\'m quite proud of this piece. Thanks again for the nitpick! I\'m surprised that no one else found it...

I really liked how you slowly built to telling the reader who the narrator was. In the beginning it could have been anyone from Hogwarts (I actually thought of Hagrid upon reading the summary). As the story progressed it became clearer who was speaking, and the spacing out of this information was wonderful. I was a bit confused during the him, her part, though I can't think of any way of doing it better.

I think the best part of this one-shot is your portrayal of Slytherin. Most people make him out to be this evil, heartless person (kind of hard not to after learning about the Chamber of Secrets...), but you painted him in a very different light. You could see why he and Gryffindor might have been friends, so excellent job there! Also, the detail to imagery you used in the flashback where Slytherin first meets Gryffindor was beautiful =D Fantastic job!

Haha, very clever! I really enjoyed it!

Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m so happy that everyone is enjoting it!!

Nicely written!

Author's Response: :D Thanks very much!

Hi Ozma333! Let me congratulate you on your first fanfic, and tell you it's really great so far! I'd love to read more chapters. Your writing style is a little similar to my own, I think, which makes reading this even more fun =)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I haven\'t read Harry Potter and the Dark Lord yet, but I plan to. Your story Senses is one of my favorites! Keep up the good work yourself, and thanks for the review!

I'm really loving this so far. The story is growing nicely, and the scene with Harry hiding on the couch was priceless. Keep up the beautiful work!

Author's Response: Thanks you so much! I loved writing that scene! One of my favorites! It was hard to find a way to have Harry (and subsequently us) view Ron and Hermione\'s first...eh...moment. I finally settled on this way, I glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the support!

I loved your descriptions in the first paragraph as Hegwig flies towards Hogwarts in the distance. Gave us a real birds eye view (pun intended) if you know what I mean ;)

Her descriptions of Harry's strength and bravery are great. It's true that Hedwig is rather displaced when things go wrong for Harry, so she might not really understand all the horrible things he's been through. But, being his faithful pet and friend, she can sense that something is wrong.

"And I realized that I, too, am bound. Not by the many cages that have held me, or by the fate I was born into. I was bound by love."

I loved that line. It was a fabulous way to end the piece, almost a heart-wrenching look into Hedwig's psyche. Poor thing, she really has had to deal with alot. Excellent story!



Author's Response: Thank you for all of your reviews! They mean a lot! And yes, poor Hedwig has so much on her mind! Thanks for the wonderful review!

I really liked your description of Cedric's appearance in the beginning of the story. I could actually picture him in my mind, handsome and seemingly care-free. I thought the rest of the story was very interesting. You don't usually see this side of Cedric, unhappy and struggling internally, but you painted the scene really well. This creates a whole new sentiment when you consider what happens to him in just one years time. He dies without ever knowing true happiness. Without people reading his stories!!! There were a typos (like in the last paragraph it should be "he thought" instead of "he though") and one or two run-on sentences, but other than that it was lovely! Excellent work =)

Way to go, Chlgoe =D Keep writing, dear, it will just keep getting easier with every chapter!

Author's Response: Thank you so very much, Gryffinpufgf! I really appreciate it! <3