Hmm...what do YOU want to know?
I'm pretty much a Malfoy fanatic. I got started in fan fic when my lil' sister started writing. That's how I found this site, actually.
Some things about me:
-spicy crunch salmon roll is my favorite food in the world.
-I could eat soybeans everyday for the rest of my life.
-I'm an up and coming opera star (yeah, in my dreams) but, I love to sing regardless, so I deserve my dreams! :p
-I have read Jeannette Walls' The Glass Castle 19 times.
If you have any questions, comments, concerns, and the like, drop me a note.
Then we can talk. :p Catch ya'lls later.
I thought you did well with describing the past, and Severus' affections for Maeve...and as before, you write very descriptively, and are very creative. I can't wait to see where this goes.
The only thing technically that I noticed is that you need a period at the end of your opening paragraph. :)
Author's Response: Someone stole my punctuation!! LOL Thanks for pointing that out and thanks for the review! :-)
The ending to this chapter was fantastic...the exchange between Maeve and Severus just brilliant. I also like how this chapter flowed...there was a lot of information but it was put together very smoothly. Only this one small thing: Remus had a large leather bag in his hand and unlike her pristine one this was battered and well used. This sentence struck me as akward...I think maybe a comma after 'one', and 'this' could be changed to 'his'. Other than that...good as usual.
I haven't read anything in a long time that captures me like this story does so far. You are an excellent storyteller, and I applaud your efforts...the first paragraph of this chapter was so vivid, I could actually picture it myself. And I loved Snape and the owl...quite funny. The conversation between Maeve and Sev at the end of the chapter was also well done. What a romance they must have had to still have lingering feelings after so many years! Good job, I'm really starting to enjoy this.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you have recognised the fact that they must have felt a great deal for each other in the past to still have such strong feelings now. I really must do something about writing some of their past. Thanks again for reviewing!
I love Maeve and Snape! Wonderfully written tension and chemistry between them...I want to know about their past relationship...
Author's Response: You'll get to know a little throughout the story...but I might just wirie a small fic about their first meeting and their growing relationship.
I really like the names you chose in this story...and the description at the beginning is really well done. I thought I'd just say that, because otherwise, the chapter is quite gripping for the first one. It makes you want to read more, and I'm looking foward to what's to come.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Glad the chapter hooked you. :-)
Clever! You got me too...LOL. Very good.
I concur with the rest...this one got me hooked right away. Brilliant work, absolutely one of the best I've read so far. Please do continue.
It grips you from the start...I love the description.
This is cute. I loved the instructions for the pensieve. I guess everything has instructions, though.
There was a part in this chapter where Harry asks Lupin, "What's up with you?" This didn't strike me as something that Harry would say to Lupin, but it didn't really make the chapter any less enjoyable.
There are also a few spelling and grammer mistakes, but again, nothing that takes away or distracts at all.
Good job.
Author's Response: Fair point. I'll change that. Thanks.
Really well done so far. Still a few misspellings and grammar stuff, but that's it. This reads really quickly and is interesting.
This last chapter was really good. Your story has the ability to just suck a reader right in. Good job. I'm really liking this now! It's so exciting.
This was a good chapter. I liked the presents Harry bought....wow, lucky Ron. ;)
Brilliant. Your description is amazing. This story is great.
I loved the scene with Harry and Lupin at the end. Well done.
Very good, and very sad. Ouch, Malfoy is BAD in this story. How cruel is he for making fun of her parents death? Keep up the good work. You just need a good beta to work out the small spelling errors.
Really good so far. I like this, even though I usually don't read general fics. The typos are still there, but I'm sure that's just a minor thing.
I feel awful for Remus..he's afraid of hurting Isabele but then he doesn't want to be alone...it brought tears to my eyes.
Well done.
Author's Response: ::hands tissue:: Wow, I didn\'t think my writing could make anyone tear up, not that it was my intention! Thanks for the review! It is so very much appreciated!
You are unique. Again, I love Remus in this story...it's so sad what he has been reduced to.
The only thing I would suggest is more description. The plot is good, the characters interesting, but I would love to get a better feeling of the world around them.
Other than that, this is so good.
Author's Response: I am working on adding more description. Thank you for the kind review. :)
Whee... I'm first! What a conflict for poor Remus, but I'm glad he came to his senses and finally told her how he feels. I'm assuming that since the story is not over yet, there's more to come even though they have essentially admitted their affections. This chapter ran smoothly, but there was one part here:
He may not share every aspect of his life with her, not that she was very keen on sharing hers
The first part of this sentence doesn't seem like it is in the same tense as the second part. But that could just be me. Anyway, you could add "have shared" to make it past tense.
Other than that, very good chapter!
Author's Response: Yeah, I had a feeling there was a slight tense shift in there, but I wasn't sure. Thank you for pointing that out! Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed, and yes, there's still much more to come! :)
You have captured the sadness in Sirius very well. And the description about home was quite interesting...The only comment I have about this is that maybe this sentence:
(Closing his eyes and laying his arm across his line of vision, letting darkness engulf him, he sighed.)
It reads a little akwardly. I guess i would put something like, "Closing his eyes, laying his arm across his line of vision, and letting darkness engulf him, he sighed." Just switching the placement of the 'and'. Other than that, I'm liking this so far.
Author's Response: That description of home is important, so I had to make it interesting. ;)
Yeah, the sentence you mentioned gave me quite a bit of trouble when writing it. Anyway, I am glad you're liking this so far.