Hmm...what do YOU want to know?
I'm pretty much a Malfoy fanatic. I got started in fan fic when my lil' sister started writing. That's how I found this site, actually.
Some things about me:
-spicy crunch salmon roll is my favorite food in the world.
-I could eat soybeans everyday for the rest of my life.
-I'm an up and coming opera star (yeah, in my dreams) but, I love to sing regardless, so I deserve my dreams! :p
-I have read Jeannette Walls' The Glass Castle 19 times.
If you have any questions, comments, concerns, and the like, drop me a note.
Then we can talk. :p Catch ya'lls later.
This is really interesting, and I'm being honest because Remus Lupin isn't exactly my favorite character. Although I have little time to read, I'm looking forward to continuing this story.
The only suggestion I have is that in the first few paragraphs when Remus is thinking about Sirius and the article in the Daily Prophet, it gets confusing (to me, anyway), who you're talking about when you use the word "he". If you stuck a name or two in somewhere, maybe it would be clearer? Anyway, just a suggestion, but other than that, really good so far!
Author's Response: Thank you for the kind review and I'm glad that you're finding this interesting. Hmm... I didn't find it confusing, but I'll keep in mind to read it more thoroughly so to make sure my readers/reviewers will find it understandable. Thanks for the suggestion!
Oh, I loved how you gave us backround into Isabelle's life and why she might accept Remus as he is. That was so great. And the imagery made me cringe..I was sitting at work while reading and others wondered what was wrong, LOL. Good job on that. I feel so awful for Remus and what he is...yes we all know that he is a werewolf, but your rendition is so touching and poignant. Good job.
Wow...your description at the beginning of the chapter with the letter, and Remus' room and everything...was just so VIVID. Good job!
I'm intrigued with this story, you certainly deserved the featured fic title for sure. There isn't anything in this chapter that needs fixing.
Is Richard gone from her life yet? What a zero, I swear. Does she have feelings for Remus yet?
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I was hoping that those descriptions helped the chapter along a bit more, and I\'m glad to find that they did. I don\'t think your the only one who wishes Richard to be gone from her life.
Thank you for taking the time to review!
And, quite sadly, I come to the last chapter you have posted. :cries: I loved how this chapter flowed...you made it seem very real. Isabelle and Remus just seemed like a couple you would see out every day. The only things to note (and they aren't even really worth noting) are a missing quotation mark in during one part of your dialogue. I was also wondering...is it proper to capitalize Apperate as you did? Or was that just at typo? Just wanted to know for future reference.
Anyway, lovely story. ;)
Author's Response: Actually, the missing quotation is correct. When a person is speaking more than a paragraph of dialogue, it's proper to leave off the end quotation and start the new paragraph with a beginning quotation so to know that that speaker is not finished. Then, on their last paragraph or whenever they are finished, you place the end quotation. Well, that's what I learned. And yes, Apparate is capitalized. :) Thank you for the wonderful review and I am so happy that you are enjoying this. The next chapter is currently with my beta, so I should have it submitted soon. :)
I liked this chapter just as much as the others. It's nice to see how you've developed Isabelle..and how much more description there is in your writing since you began this story. The scene depicting Isabelle and her mother reminded me of times with my own mom; very realistic. :) Did you change her name half way through the chapter? Sometimes it's Adelaide and sometimes Adele...Anyway, curious to see if Richard is going to play anymore of a part in this story.
Author's Response: Yes, there\'s definitely a lot more description in my writing now than there was in the beginning. (Odd, because when I first started writing fan fiction long time ago, I was overly descriptive.)
I\'m happy that the scene with Isabelle and her mum seemed realistic. That\'s definitely what I was going for. :)
Her name didn\'t change halfway through, I was just attempting to nickname Adelaide, and it didn\'t look right as \"Adel\'\".
Richard may not be much in the picture now, but he\'ll be back.
Thank you for taking the time to review, as usual! It\'s greatly appreciated!
This is very good...it kept me reading, lots of stuff is going on...I can't wait to find out what happens next.
Author's Response: You wouldn't believe the collection of notes I have on what ub-plots lead to what, and when to introduce them...
This was a good chapter. And the kiss was totally unpredictable. I didn't think it was going to happen just like that. Good descriptions too. :)
Author's Response: Ha! What descriptions? I thought they were pretty pathetic and so overused, but whatever floats your boat. I hoped the kiss was unexpected. Glad it was, actually. Anywho, I need to read your story. I'm behind on the reading and reviewing. Hope the chapters aren't fillers...haha J/K.
This was a darker chapter...wow. I'm starting to wonder why Fiona even agreed to go anywhere with Lucius. You write him as completely unredeemable. Good job. Poor Fiona, I feel bad for her. I just don't get why she didn't listen to everyone and actually went anywhere with Lucius. I also liked the interaction between Lily, Fiona and Remus...you did quite well in integrating Fiona into the story. And WTG to Sev, who saved the day. ;)
Author's Response: Fiona wants to give everyone an equal chance. I mean, if she just listened to everyone about Severus, then they wouldn't be friends, would they? And I can't write a story without the rest of the Marauders, can I? It'd be boring with just two characters. I feel so happy that you think I wrote everyone well. It makes me feel talented. Hopefully I'll look at your story as well this weekend, and update this business. Thanx.
Man, this story is good. ;) Snape's dad is a major mofo. Good job!
The Linkster
Author's Response: Isn't he though? I can't wait to show you what happens to the mofo! Thanx for your review. Tell others about this story! :)
Man, this story is good. ;) Snape's dad is a major mofo. Good job! The Linkster
LOL, this is the cutest chapter! It made me laugh several times. I love the "Black and White" thing. Too cute. :D
Author's Response: I thought the similar last names were too cute too. I'm so happy you like the story. This is my best chapter so far, in my opinion. Keep reading. I love the reviews!!! :)
Okay, so did Snape do it or not? I'm a bit confused.
Really good, by the way.
Author's Response: Does It look like he did or not? Maybe he did, and he's just can't believe he did it. But he might have tried, but someone else did the dirty work for him. You'll find out later. Right now, it's just what you want to think. Thanks for the review!
Hey. Lucius is a MOFO, but I think I already said that. Good chapter. I only wonder why she controls him so much when he's only known her for a day or so. Hmmm...
Author's Response: Isn't Lucius always a MOFO? You probably know what he is looking for. Anywho, you'll probably have to figure out why she controls him for yourself. I don't really think I can write out that reason. Thanx and keep reading.
Bravo! Good chapter...I love the interaction between Snape and Fiona...can't stand Sirius..what an ahole.
Author's Response: Yep. Sirius could fit in with the annoying contraversial people in the hot tub. I'm sure he and the tongue ring guy would be best friends.
LMAO...I love the part about his bruised respiratory system..can a respiratory system really bruise? That was funny.
WTH was Lucius trying to kill Sev for? That came out of nowhere, with nothing to back it up...quite random. Nevertheless, I do love Lucius. This was a good chapter..it showed that Snape likes Fiona, and I hope he kicks Lucius' ass and makes sure that he doesn't hurt her.
There were a few spelling errors, but I know that's because you were in a hurry to post. ;) :muah:
Good job.
Author's Response: Let's see...the whole bruised respiratory system was for descriptive feeling. I mean, would you feel spiffy if someone almost strangled you to death? I know I wouldn't. He was in pain from all the fighting. And Lucius, well he was just annoyed that Severus got away with missing the meeting the night Adrienne died. If Lucius did anything of that sort, Voldemort would go after him, but for Severus he just stayed put and told the Death Eaters that if they ran into Severus, then they should kill him. For the spelling errors, as long as you can read and comprehend the plot, then it is no worry for me. Hope you like your new place. I have to check it out, since you're all moved in now. Keep reading!!
This chapter was good...why does Snape always get the shaft from everyone? And I think Fiona owes him an explanation for her behavior. How come she didn't get in trouble?
Author's Response: Snape naturally has a stubborn attitude. Fiona is more understanding and accepting when she knows she has done something wrong. Like most men, Snape thinks he is never wrong. And when he is, he still refuses to admit it. Technically they both got in trouble. Now they have to redo their report, or risk failing. She is a brilliant witch and wrote out her own report that now has no use for. I think working with someone who is not cooperative is a punishment.
Another great chapter...other than a few typos that I found, it was really good. Fiona and Snape have some good chemistry going on...and the exchange with Sirius was pretty funny....so, is Fiona interested in Lucius? A Lucius/Fiona pairing would be different...good job!
Author's Response: A few is how many? I wasn't really concentrating while posting this one. Maybe I should next time. Anywho, I hoped Sirius was funny. It's his character and personality. And with the whole Lucius/Fiona thing, well, like you said a while back, he is a MOFO. Maybe that will give you a clue. Thanks for the review.
Nice chapter...good that it was short...I like short when I'm in a hurry. I like how Severus is now taking care of her and showing her that he cares. She should find more interesting ways to thank him. ;)
Author's Response: You are a sicko. You aren't supposed to do that kind of stuff when you are not married....like that ever happens often. But no. She won't do that. Sicko. But thanks for reviewing. I have to catch up on your fic.
Wow, that was good. I would have never figured that out myself either. I like how you created her past, and wove it together with what we've already read. I'm also glad that she and Severus finally have an understanding...love may begin. ;) You need to watch your quotations and your spelling. ;) But this as always is such a good read. :)
My favorite chapter so far. You first three paragraphs held great description, especially about the moon.
Loved the comment "unusually pleasant dinner with Lucius." As if. ;) Intervisitation rocks! Dumbledore only THINKS he's doing it for the unity of houses, while the students are taking clear advantage of the situation. ;) I also loved the conversation in the second part of the chapter between Snape and White. Nicely done.
The part about Fiona's hair "flowing freely behind her" is a bit akward, IMO. Maybe something like, "flowing down her back" would work better? Also, I was confused during the part where Snape was wondering if the White's had been caught. Did they get caught, or did he just THINK they got caught?
Anyway, good job!
Author's Response: Those questions are supposed to run through your head. If I told you what really happened to her family, would it really make you want to keep reading? As for the descriptions, I wrote this chapter like seven months ago when my writing skills were a bit sluggish, and I didn't bother to change it now. In fact, my skills are still sluggish...so I don't know about that, but thanks for the feedback. Anywho, thank GCC for intervisitation. Number two rule at Grove City is one shoe in the door during interviz. Number one is DON'T WALK ON THE GRASS...hehehe. And Lucius is a MOFO, so Snape was glad he wasn't annoying. I like these kinds of reviews. Hopefully none of my readers will lash out for it (you know who I am referring to). Keep it up. Don't forget to cut out FILLERS! Thanks a bunch!