Hey all!
I'm a recent college graduate with a great job and an even better hobby - writing Dramione fanfiction! I pretty much write that pairing exclusively, not counting side pairings, of course. I find the chemistry and tension between both Draco and Hermione absolutely intoxicating and there's a lot to work with as far as plot and character go. I love love love the canon pairings (JKR can do no wrong!) but she already wrote them so well that I feel like anything I try to do will fall short. :)
Likes: Kittens, puppies, Johnny Depp, movies, music (rock, alternative, pop, and electronic), musicals, Glee, writing, reading, laughing, baking, and being surrounded by awesome.
Dislikes: Clowns, centipedes, ants, guns, boring-ness-ism.
"The Reminder" was my first HP fanfic attempt. I'm quite fond of it.
"An Aversion to Change" was my second. I love this one, too, and it's pretty darn successful.
"The Resilient" is the sequel to "Aversion." It is completely written and, recently, fully posted. The banner is by the super-awesome CoolCatElly!
(link here: http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb215/CoolCatElly/Theresilient2-1.jpg)
I have a few other ideas that I'm working on, but nothing that will be posted (or even finished...) before "The Resilient" is done.
I am also kicking around the idea of an original fiction, but it will be eons before that even gets close to being interesting to anyone but me. :)
I love reviews (like every author), so you should probably leave one! :)
Enjoy, and thanks for reading!!
Knowing her meant that he could like her, and he was positive that would be a bad thing. LOVE this line!!!
Okay, I'm going to start off this review by saying that I wish I could write as well as you can. Do the words just fly off your keyboard? Because that's how it seems. Your prose is so natural and believable - none of that trite, cliche nonsense that is all to prevalent in some stories (mine definitely being guilty of said offense). It's wonderful and refreshing to read. Fantastic job on it.
I love Hermione and Draco's relationship - it's perfect. There's really nothing to criticize about it. Their dialogue, their moments together, their dynamics, their feelings...it's all just so natural!! It's really so cool and such a gift!
The plot is progressing quite nicely. Harry and Ron are trapped at Tullynally and this Absalom character (who also trusts Snape implicitly...who knows how this has happened, although I will venture a guess and say that you were on Snape's side the whole time?). Draco and Hermione will probably have to go save them, which will result in an amazing chapter because of the dynamics you'll be able to work into it! Ah, I'm so excited it's ridiculous!!!
Great work so far. I truly admire your talent and am honored to be reading your work. Best wishes, can't wait until next chapter!!
-Mel
Author's Response: *beams* I liked that line too ;) Sadly, the words do not just fly off of my keyboard (or out of my pen, as it were). If they did it would make things a lot simpler. And you\'re an amazing author - don\'t sell yourself short!
It\'s really great to hear that Draco and Hermione\'s relationship is progressing realistically. To be honest with you sometimes I have complete panic atacks about it, even going so far as to re-write entire sections. Thank you, really.
Oddly enough, I really don\'t like Snape at all. He did, however, serve his purpose here. His memories, and the information they provided, were conveyed to Hermione and he opened the door through which Absalom would enter. And I assure you, he has the best possible reasons for trusting Snape as he does. All will be revealed in due time.
Hopefully you will find the next chapter exciting. All I will tell you, is I hope you like cliffhangers... Anyways, I noticed that your next chapter is in the queue. I\'m just as excited about it as you are about mine!
Ah!!! And you say *I* like cliffhangers?? What the devil do you think that was?? Like, the worst cliffhanger of all time is what it was! Sheesh! You must be trying to kill me with excitement.
Speaking of which, this chapter was crazy exciting. That castle seems like one huge, complicated maze; I'm surprised Harry and Ron lasted that long in it without her. And in the state they were in too...man, very surprised. As big of jerks as they are, they are powerful wizards, there's no denying that.
And oh man, Harry should feel *so* embarrassed. Losing control and having his wand confiscated by Absalom...I'd be completely mortified. Draco totally has it right, too: Harry and Ron should be kissing her feet for saving their lives, not questioning and yelling at her. I mean, their curiosity is totally justified, but there's a time and place for that. Neither of which were inside of that castle.
And hmm, that was some hint you gave. A purple spell that Hermione knows hurts like hell. Well, it's hard to not interpret that! Harry obviously hit her with that spell (whatever it was, Sectumsempra, maybe?) either intentionally or accidentally. Still not enough to sate my desire for the full story, but I have a feeling that'll be coming out soon (because I'm sure Draco picked up on it too).
Anyways, love the story, spectacular job!! :D
Author's Response: Teehee *grins impishly*. I\'d say I\'m sorry for the cliffie, but I\'m not really ;) I\'m glad you liked the chapter; I had a lot of fun writing it. I was really worried that people would think it was boring, but I guess that was unfounded.
Your the second person to think that Harry hit Hermione with \'that\' spell (the other was on ff.net), but that\'s not it at all. That spell was what Antonin Dolohov cast at her in the Department of Mysteries.
Chapter 11 is finished. My beta has it right now, so hopefully it will be queued before the end of the weekend. It\'s a busy chapter (almost 10,000 words) and will answer alot of questions.
As always, thanks so much for reviewing! I always look forward to your opinions :)
Ok: Just to let you know right now, at this point, I have not read the chapter yet. And I wanted to let you know that, not even having read the chapter, that your author's note made me upset. Quite upset. Hm....
Ooooooh, I just read it and girl, all I can say is: crap crap crap crap crap YOU'RE A BLOODY GENIUS crap crap crap THIS IS SO NOT GOOD! crap crap crap WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE A WEREWOLF?? ARGH!! crap crap crap
Now that I have that out of my system...
This chapter was nothing short of amazing. Your dialogue, as always, is *perfect*. It's exactly where it needs to be at every level. Your word choice is amazing and I absolutely love how real everything is. There's just the right amount of detail - enough to fill in the pieces, but not too much so that all of the reader's creativity is stunted in reading. It's a fine line and you walk it brilliantly. Each time I read you it's like watching a well-filmed movie. Absolute brilliance.
I liked how you slipped the story title into this chapter. I was wondering if it was going to come up, and this was (obviously) a very appropriate place to put it. Gods, that magic was so creepy, though. Honestly creepy. I was tense as hell when reading it, and scared out of my wits that something would go incredibly wrong - which it did, considering that Draco is now a werewolf...darn you! Although, honestly, if he was an Animagus instead, the story wouldn't nearly be as interesting as it's going to get.
McGonagall is wise - soooo wise! Of course she loves him, and honestly I was a bit surprised that the realization didn't come at the end of this chapter, although I think "I'm exactly where I want to be" was simply perfect.
Your Hermione...ye gods, she's great. I love how you write her. Absolutely love it. She's perfect, but so imperfect at the same time. You keep her canon/in character while still allowing her this depth and complexity that I feel is sometimes/oftentimes missed out on. She's a fierce, fierce woman, and I'm really intrigued as to what this prophecy is.
Which brings me to the Keepers. So Sinead is one, eh? That'll be an interesting conversation, for sure. I'm so flippin excited for the plot to move on it's ridiculous. I think you have a really awesome thing going on with the vamp/werewolf mobilization, and I'm absolutely terrified (in a good way) to see what's going to happen.
Towards the end of this chapter, I got the worst feeling that the shit is really about to hit the fan (if you'll pardon the cliche.) But everything is happening now: creatures are mobilizing, Draco is changing, Hermione is unwittingly involved in something crazy, and Lucius is hanging around like some sort of half-crazed psycho, biding his time. Everything in this story is just so complex and so intertwined! It seems like there are a million different storylines and, while at first they were all kinda on their own, they're slowly starting to converge, which just builds the intensity like none other.
So yeah, really liked the chapter - totally my favorite one yet. And to the end note: a hiatus?? Noooooooo! But you know, do what you have to do. Take as long as you need (it's such a wrench typing that!) and rest assured that you will still have fans when you return.
Awesome, AWESOME work, and best of luck to you.
-Melissa
Author's Response: Holy crap, what a review. I think this is my longest received to date on any website. Thank you. Now... let me see if I can address some of your points...
Draco becoming a werewolf was set in stone from the very beginning. I\'m sorry it distresses you. I am glad that you liked the chapter, though. I was truly worried that it might not be... profound enough. I was also unsure whether or not I should include McGonagall\'s insight. I think it\'s a bit too soon for Hermione to come to any sort of conculsion or realisation, but not for others to take notice.
Sinead... I admit that I hadn\'t realised how much I loved her character until I began writing more of her. Ultimately I gaver her a more important role in the story, and I\'m glad she\'s been so well received. yes, she is the Keepers\' Muggle Watcher in London, but because Hermione is unsure how to broach the subject or that she even should that conversation will be a ways ahead. I cracked up at your description of Lucius! Storylines are getting all wrapped up and knotted together now - let\'s hope I can keep them straight!
I know, I know: I feel terrible about taking a hiatus, but I really feel that I need it to relax and get some work donw without feeling like I\'m pressured. I feel such responsibility towards my readers, and I hate that I\'m often not able to update frequently because you all have shown me such unexpected support. With any luck, though, I\'ll be back before summer\'s over, and I\'ll be back with a bang! Hopefully. I always look forward to your reviews, and truly cherish your enthusiasm and opinions. Thank you.
Ruby
How spoiled are we?? An update! Can't say I'm happy about the less than 10k words thing, though - the more, the better! :)
Although I shouldn't need to tell you this, the chapter was fantastic. I don't know how you write every character to absolute perfection, but you do and it's mind-boggling. The interaction between Draco and Hermione is so bittersweet and Lupin's thoughts are exactly how a guilt-riddled man's (who's been through way too much) should be. Even your new characters - Lenny and Hayley - have these distinct personalities and histories that are so rich! It's outstanding, really, to read your writing. It's mature without being pretentious - such a treat!
And it's nice to know that Harry isn't completely useless. Can't say that I forgive him, either, and I'm so happy that Hermione hasn't. Honestly, he doesn't deserve it yet. Or maybe I'm just bitter. Hahah. And Ron...don't get me started on Ron. Bah.
Anyway, wonderful work. I can't wait for another update!!
Author's Response: Your reviews always leave me giddy *blushes* It would have been close to twelve, but I cut the Hayley/Absalom scene and rewrote it from her point of view, rahter than his. I think it turned out better that way.
I'm so glad you like all of my original characters! It's a gamble adding so many in fanfiction. I actually had one reviewer tell me that she wasn't going to read any of the sections about the OCs. I was heartbroken, but you've restored my spirits :D
Argh! I had such a rough time with Harry. He kicks my arse, everytime. I didn't want Hermione to just up and forgive him. He was exceptionally stupid this time, and I think he deserves to sweat for a bit. But, I did want to move them in the right direction, because they ARE the Trio, and even I would hate to see them split up for good. I won't get you started on Ron, if you don't get me started on Ron ;)
Thanks again for such a wonderful review! The kiddies and I are all sick, so it cheered me up, at least. Happy New Year!
Ah, the one-shot. Well, I still plan on submitting it (I have another random one too that I'd like to post, just to see what you all would think), but as the site is having trouble, I thought it best to delete it until the problem's been fixed. I don't even think the e-mail system is working properly because a new chapter of "Aversion to Change" is up and I've only gotten one review! And not to sound big-headed or anything, but that's very odd...But anyways, onto your question.
There were a couple parts that worried me. The one Hinaark brought up concerns me, but not as much as this line: He could only hope he wouldn’t fail her like he’d failed just about everyone else who’d ever cared about him.
Like I said before, it's so small and so subtle that it might just be a really well-crafted piece of writing. But when I read it, I don't know, I just got this feeling...Ah, unexplainable, really, but that's what concerned me.
I'm psyched to learn about these "others" that Absalom has been looking for...I can't even *guess* as to where you're going, but I just know it's going to be amazing.
By the way, your descriptions are brilliant and if you're ever (hopefully!) struck with inspiration for a novel, I will gladly purchase anything you publish. Best of luck to you!!
Author's Response: That\'s understandable. I considered not submitting this chapter, but it had been so long already and I didn\'t want to risk loosing readers due to the wait. Good luck getting those one-shots submitted (I\'ll definitely read them!)
And for those little worrisome bits... as far as the one Hinaark mentioned, I don\'t want to say anymore, and for the one you just mentioned, I really think it would give too much away to say one way or the other. Sorry I couldn\'t say more to ease your mind.
Oh, dear, if that\'s the case I\'ll let you know asap if I decide to publish anything! Thanks for such a wonderful compliment.
Yay for longer chapters with less editing!! Boo for leaving Mugglenet. Hahah, I just don't like the layout of ff.net as much, but I guess I'll be getting better acquainted with it soon! Lol. ;)
Anywhoodles, pleased as punch to see an update! And it certainly wasn't disappointing (bah, as if it could be!) Draco and Hermione are immensely frustrating. I just want to disconnect their hearts from their brains and shake them silly. It's obvious they love one another! All the signs are there! And they're supposed to be clever. Hahaha. This isn't to say you aren't writing them well, of course. It's this kind of slow build that is absolutely enchanting and makes your story un-put-downable (or un-browser-closable, more appropriately...) It's right that they should be so conflicted and frightened; given their circumstances, I would be surprised if they were anything but. As always, tone and dialogue are top-notch. The way they speak and act are so real, like they're in the same room with me. You have a gift, my friend, and it's honestly a delight to read.
I thought you wrote Harry very well. He's not that great of a planner and his interaction with Ginny felt real to me. It's funny - for all the times I've read the Potter books, I feel like he's the most difficult character to write, maybe because he's already been so thoroughly fleshed out that there's little room for interpretation. But you did him justice, and Ginny, too. She switched from livid to reasonable to seductress in the matter of a few sentences, and I love that kind of volatility and passion in her.
Thanks so much for the update, and I can't wait to read more!! :D
Author's Response: First: Guh. And much blushing, and even a wee bit of girly squeeing. Your reviews always put me on cloud nine.
I think Draco and Hermione have imparted their frustrations onto me, because this last chapter was the most ridiculously difficult interaction between them to date. I had literally every other word of the chapter written in two days, but it took me seven months to toil through some Dramione UST/angst. I was pleased with the outcome, though, and I'm just delighted that you were too :D Then next chapter should be fun *winks*
I totally agree with you about Harry! JKR did too good a job in canon, lol, which I realise is a really strange complaint to have. There are very few authors whose work I believe does him justice on a regular basis (and I'm not one of them!), so I'm glad he passed your muster. Funnily enough, though, this whole scene pretty much wrote itself. I adore Ginny, and she's always such fun to write. I think I did all right with Harry this time because he was opposite her.
Thanks so much for the lovely review, seriously. I dont' know where I'd be without readers like you :D
What?? What have you done?! You've left us with a cliffhanger, that's what! Argh!
Alright, loved this chapter, just like I love every other chapter. The sparring between Draco and Hermione was the perfect setting for their clipped conversation. I must admit, I'm happy that Moody (and Tonks) are beginning to catch on to what prats Harry and Ron are.
Speaking of which, what prats!!! Seriously, so annoyed with them...acting like they own the place...acting like they own Hermione! I loved Draco's response to Harry's murderer comment..."Grow up." Seriously, that's what he needs to do. For being the Chosen One/Boy Who Lived, it certainly seems like he has a lot more living to do.
Anyways, I'm soooo excited to see where you take the story next. What does Moody have planned??
Can't wait!!
Author's Response: Ye Gods, I love your reviews. Sorry about the cliffie, I couldn\'t help myself ;) I had fun writing every minute in the Room of Requirement, between Moody and Tonks, as well as Draco and Hermione. Yes, Harry and Ron are still prats. I agree; Harry does have a lot of living to do, but, when you think about it, his entire life was spent either in a cupboard or fighting Voldemort on some front, so he hasn\'t really had time for living. If you\'re interested, their one-shot is posted on fanfiction.net and on ginnypotter; I\'m having serious problems getting it posted here :(
I can\'t tell you what Moody has planned because that would ruin the next chapter, which is about half complete at this point. I\'ll get it up as soon as can be managed. Thanks for reviewing :D
First, a response to your poll: if you want to do a one-shot, go for it, but I think that the story is just perfect without it. I would read it (of course), but I think there's just enough information from them in here about the whole situation and from what you have put in, it's perfectly clear where they stand.
"Potteresque fit" - SO TRUE! Harry throws fits like none other. And I must say, I'm glad you included that line from Moody ("They act like they own the place") because they do and it's annoying and...yeah, I'm happy he sees it too. "He was such a selfish berk" - Made me laugh out loud, which was inconvenient as I'm in a library...hahaha.
Anyways, I thought this chapter was BRILLIANT!! What an awesome action scene at the beginning. I totally thought Narcissa was done for but then, woosh! It all happened so quickly and smoothly, which I think keeps in Narcissa's character. Loved it. And then when she and Draco reunited...Oh that was far too touching.
I loved everyone's reaction to Hermione and Draco's banter, especially Tonks with her giggling. I couldn't help but smile right along with her. And also, their argument outside...holy crow, that was intense.
If I've said it once, I've said it one thousand times, I LOVE your writing style. It's a really perfect narrative combining an awesome vocabulary, appropriate description, sharp, clean dialogue, and something completely ephemeral which sucks the reader in and doesn't let go.
Loved everything about this chapter, can't wait for another one!! Awesome, awesome job!!!
Author's Response: First... thanks for the vote :D
All right, where to begin. I was rather fond of \'Potteresque\', myself. I considered \'Potter-like\' but it doesn\'t really have the same effect, I think. Moody - I wanted to make it perfectly clear that his concern is winning the war, not accomodating Harry. I almost, almost left the \'selfish berk\' line out; I wasn\'t sure it fit, but I\'m glad it made you laugh. It\'s good to know you were making such great use of your library time :D
I had so. much. fun. writing the Narcissa/Bellatrix scene. I really had issues with Draco\'s part; I felt it dragged in the middle, and I\'m relieved that it came out all right. And thank you for thinking their argument was intense - it was supposed to be. My friend told me it made her laugh...
Thank you so much for the wonderful review! Yours are some of my favourites :D
~Ruby
Honestly, Ruby, I don't know how you think we could hate this. This remains one of the best stories I have ever read. Ever.
But of course you had to go and put Hermione in all sorts of danger, didn't you? And Draco in all sorts of (understandable) angst? Sheesh, you are cruel! But at least Sinead is putting the clues together, and things are really heating up with the whole vampire/werewolf/Dark Lord situation. A side question: Do you watch a show called Supernatural? Because your description of Lilith was really cool.
But I loved this chapter. I re-read the whole thing last night/this morning (hurray procrastination!) and everything was even better the second time around. I'm so, SO happy that you're updating again! Welcome back!!
Author's Response: *beams* That means a lot coming from you, because you're one of my favourite Dramione authors. Ever ;)
And of course I had to go put Hermione in all sorts of danger! We were long over-due for some action, and I wanted to fend of growing concerns of a Mary-Sue on the horizon. Gah! Draco was hard. It took me twice as long to write his short section than it did the whole rest of the chapter. Gah. And I'm totally in love with Sinead. Enough said.
Thanks so much for your support! You've been really great throughout the whole process :) You'll be pleased to know that the next chapter is complete, I just have to type it and email it to my beta! It's good to be back :D
Woo! Okay, I absolutely love your characterization of Hermione. The banter inside her head is really refreshing and fun. Great job so far!!
Author's Response: Thanks, I love your stories too! Thanks for giving mine a chance :)
Hm, intriguing! Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: It\'s coming, I promise. Thanks for reviewing!
Very intriguing. I hope you continue soon.
Happy writing!
Draco Malfoy has been delegated an impossible task from the Dark Lord—to lure Harry Potter to his death, Draco must do the inconceivable—make Hermione Granger fall in love with him, and should he fail, at a terrible cost...his life and his parents' lives. What at first is a heinously and humiliatingly impossible task turns into an unexpected connection with the girl he has always regarded as a Mudblood...but somehow, blood purity loses its significance when true feelings are involved.
A story of forbidden fruit, disturbing dreams, reluctant redemption, secrets and lies, self-discovery, and choosing between what is right and what is easy.
|Takes place during HBP|If you read, leave a review! :)|
The ring of sacrifice being precious and valuable? I can see valuable, perhaps, but precious? It sounds absolutely terrifying! A ring that someone gives you that would bring death upon themselves if you were about to die...Very interesting and a great plot point, for sure. I'm excited to see where you go with it.
And if you ask me, Harry is far too obsessed with Draco. If he's still spying on Draco with the Marauder's Map when (or if) he and Hermione are a couple...well, that could lead to some very intense scenes indeed!
And I really like the dream - it's really...dreamlike. Haha, sounds obvious, but I think dreams are difficult to write. It's hard to capture that weird kind of disconnected flow, but you do it well. So my favorite lines? The entire dream sequence. Hahaha.
Good job!
Author's Response: Harry IS getting overly obsessed with Draco, but it\'s not really OOC, considering he set house-elves to \"tail\" Draco Malfoy in HBP. As for the intense scenes you speculate on, they will be a-coming. :) Dreams are one of my favorite things to write---the workings of the subconscious are some of the fascinating things ever, and in stories and FF\'s, there\'s some kind of \"underlying message\" in them. Thanks so much for R-&-R-ing! :)
Payback's a bitch, and it's on your heels, Draco. Well well well! Nott certainly has a biy of an attitude, doesn't he?! He'd better watch it, else I can see Draco going medieval on this kid's ass and it is NOT going to be a good thing. Am I right in assuming you're going to write the Quidditch match? I think that'd be the best way for Nott to enact whatever revenge he has planned...
"Think about what?" “Us." Brilliant lines. Short, simple, and VERY effective. Nearly sent me off my chair.
Ostentatiously ...great word!
Speaking of Ron...what a git!! Kissing Hermione when Lavender (ugh) and him are together?? Is this boy mental?? Although obviously her fears are not too misplaced...all Lavender has to do is switch around the people and she'll be right on-target with her suspicions...
The dream was very interesting. At first I didn't realize it was a dream (which worried me...how did Harry know they kissed??), but once I re-read it, it made more sense. Or as much sense as a pockmarked man riding a purple winged lion could make. Hahaha. And please, refresh my memory, but wasn't there a prison or bars in Draco's dream too? Because that would be uncanny (in a good way).
My one critique: I don't know how appropriate the marijuana reference was. Hermione would certainly know about it, but it just felt weird in the context of their argument. Maybe a spell or potion with similar side-effects would have been better there.
Other than that, really good chapter!! Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Nott is on the antisocial side, so yes, when he actually does have shall we say, \"human contact\", he does have quite an attitude. As for what Nott intends to do, I hate to say this, but \"time will tell...\" The \"us\" line made me grin to write it, and I\'m happy that you almost fell off your chair (either literally or metaphorically, it\'s very flattering!) Ron is a comic relief character in my eyes, but he has an insensitivity chip--kissing Hermione when he\'s with Lavender definitely is bad judgment (and also kind of presumptuous that he assumes that Hermione is in like with him as well...and she discovers the hard way that she actually ISN\'T). I italicized the dream to indicate it was a dream, but maybe that wasn\'t made too clearly? Either way, the purple-winged lion seemed to establish it was a dream, so that\'s all good. :) As for Draco\'s dreams, he actually hasn\'t had a dream with prison bars, but he HAS experienced that same trapped feeling in his dreams (when he\'s in the caves and can\'t evade Lord Voldemort, for example), so their dreams do share some similarities. As for the marijuana reference, I complete agree that it was a little out-of-place, but I did say that it was bordering on OOC in the author\'s note. I wanted a Muggle reference that would complete boggle Draco, a change of topic, and something very unexpected, so I chose marijuana. Perhaps I could have chosen something, but I knew I needed something from the Muggle world to be mentioned by Hermione. Thanks so much for your detailed review!!! :)
Author's Response: In my haste to respond, I meant to say \"Perhaps I could have chosen something ELSE\". You probably could have figured that out yourself, but it bothered me so much when I read my reply to your review...anyways, thanks for reviewing so thoughtfully once again! :)
whose verbal prose was limited to monosyllables Love it! Brilliant line!
ready-to-wear sullen expression Liked this one too.
Zabini's description, although short, was effective. And I loved Ron's line: Exchanging tips on how to be gits maybe?
So, Draco's a Chaser now? Interesting twist. I will admit, I'm happy Quidditch isn't gone from his life. The poor boy needs a hobby. Although I can definitely see how Nott could pose a bit of a problem - his jealousy of Draco getting the position could very easily turn to rage with just a bit of brooding. I have a feeling that Nott will do just that.
And you are quite the sly one, I think. The name of Hermione's book - Encounters with Evil - that she just so happens to be reading when Draco enters the library...Coincidence? I think not! Although I could be incredibly wrong, but it was a nice touch anyways.
And now for the critique: work on your actual story formatting. It's annoying to do, but having a little less space between paragraphs is nice for the reader.
Other than that, good job so far! I'm excited to see where this all is going.
Author's Response: I just love reading your reviews, which are so nicely detailed and seriously help my case in narcissism--haha. All the lines you mentioned liking I also happen to favor myself. :) I loved the idea of bringing Nott in the story, and your predictions about him are spot on. About the story formatting---frankly, it bugs me too...I need to lessen the \"br\'s\", I think. About the title of Hermione\'s book, I considered using \"Confronting the Faceless\" (the DADA textbook mentioned in HBP), but decided since the story wasn\'t exactly canon to the sixth book to make up a book title myself. :) Thanks a lot for reading the third chapter!
a stain to his ego I like it!
in a low hiss to match Snape's own Well, that must've been quite a hiss because no one does it better than Snape!
Oooo interesting! So Hermione's probably going to be all suspicious of Draco now, making any type of chemistry between them rare and considerably less genuine. But why didn't she tell Ron and Harry about it? Surely something concerning Voldemort and her would be of great interest to them.
And the most intriguing part, I think, is that Draco is now wearing the ring. So, this is what I think will happen (hurrah for theories!): Draco is going to wear the ring, yadda yadda, and once things with Hermione heat up, he's going to give it to her, like a gift or a promise ring or something. From there, I'm not entirely certain. Since he would give the ring to Hermione, he would be the one to die if she happened to get herself into a bad situation (could lead to an nice, morbid, angsty ending, though). And I know that it probably has something to do with Harry as well, but I can't quite make that connection.
Hm, that wasn't so much of a theory, was it? Hahaha.
Good job!
Author's Response: I\'m glad that you liked those phrases, and yeah, that was quite some hiss from Draco, but his frustration was pretty palpable from Snape\'s attempt to interfere. Hermione\'s witholding of information is one I can explain---she was still \"reeling from the day\'s revelations\" and wasn\'t sure of what to make of it herself, and she didn\'t want to divulge to anyone until she had fully absorbed the implications of what she\'d eavesdropped on. Also, as I\'m sure you remember from what I\'ll fondly call \"the awkward silence\" moment from chapter three when she bumps into Draco in the library---notice that she didn\'t share that information with Harry or Ron either. Also notable is that \"creeping feeling\" in her stomach (reference to chapter three again)...Hermione doesn\'t know what that creeping feeling means, but we do. :) As for your theory, well, I\'m glad my story was interesting enough for you to start theorizing (so that\'s a word then??). Whether he\'ll give the ring to Hermione and how it connects to Harry...time will tell, and you better stick around! ThanxX for your detailed review again! :)
Ohhhh man!!!! Okay, you're really just getting better and better. You captured Hermione's anger brilliantly in this chapter. I was fuming right along with her.
Your adjective/noun pairings are amazing. ignominious pain, cancerously concealed thoughts You have a great vocabulary too. Dalliance, contemptuous, mortification, mitigating...They're power words and you're really utilizing them to their utmost.
You had some killer one-liners, too. with the ease you’d find in a conversation between friends…or sworn rivals. Which was what they were, completely and utterly. That she had to remind herself of that fact so constantly perturbed her. Okay, not a one-liner, as such, but still really good and really indicative of Hermione's frazzled frame of mind.
Women...What, you thought I meant Mudbloods? No, I decided to take a tip from what you said—I do get repetitive with my material sometimes, but it’s only because it’s the first word that comes to mind when I see you. Oh he is so snarky!!
Especially this last bit. “I’m not under your skin now,” he said. “I’m in it.” Oh that boy is PURE EVIL. Like, the picture I had of him in my mind this whooooole chapter is this smirking, grinning, conniving, and absolutely irresistible man who is tempting and teasing Hermione more than she ever thought possible. It's insanity. I can't believe she hasn't hit him because seriously, if I had this conversation with him, it would've been a hearty slap and then the kiss (which was great, by the way!)
Your dialogue is still top-notch, although I think the plot got lost a little bit in this chapter (which isn't really a bad thing, even. Or perhaps it wasn't lost at all as it's part of his mission to get her). Either way, you brought it [the plot] back with the KILLER last line, And on that note, he left, in her skin at last.
Great job so far. I can't wait to read more!!
Author's Response: Ah, reading your reviews are always so fun to read...Anyways, thank you for your compliments on my vocabulary and pointing out all the lines you enjoyed (as tradition would have it between us)! Writing Draco in this chapter was just too much fun--as you say, he was \"smirking, grinning, conniving, and absolutely irresistible\" and overall, just being a right bastard to Hermione (which was so much fun to write!!!). In PoA when she slaps Draco, she slapped him because he was insulting Hagrid (and plus, that whole hatred thing). In HBP, I think Hermione has matured from \"Muggle duelling\"--if she were to hurt him in any way, I think she\'d use her wand (as she did to Ron, by sic-ing birds to peck Ron to death). Thanks for leaving another delightfully long review! :)
Flaying...great word. I really want to find a way to use it in my story now! Haha. And I liked how you defined the Cruciatus Curse as heat. It's unique. :)
Oh man, I'm surprised that Theodore left the map. And I'm even more surprised that Hermione forgot it!! Imagine! What Harry would do to her if she lost it...and if it fell into the wrong hands! I know I'm channeling Remus here hardcore, but damn.
Hrm, Nott does have something on Draco, but I'm not sure if it's enough to taunt Draco into surrendering Quidditch. He needs to find out what exactly Nott knows before doing anything rash, I think.
And I liked Draco's little angsty rant in the bathroom. "I'm only living to breathe..." So eloquent and so dark! Love it.
Good job!
Author's Response: Once again, another detailed review! :) I\'m gratified that somebody enjoyed my descriptions of the Cruciatus Curse, which is always being described as knives, or something sharp, so I felt I had to do something different. :) Everybody seems shocked that Nott would leave the Marauder\'s Map, but he\'s a mysterious guy, you know...hence the loner-ness, haha. Hermione forgetting the Marauder\'s Map? Well, I can explain that...everybody sees Hermione as being some kind of stable, logical know-it-all (and all\'s fair in love & war, but...) such emotionally stable people are bound to slip up...slapping Draco in their third year anyone? Or forgetting to go to Charms class with the Time Turner? (Among other things...) I agree that it\'s pretty extreme to threaten Draco just for a Quidditch position, but as a loner, being a Chaser is like the equivalent of a friend. In a way, Nott is a bit like Voldemort---he prefers materialistic or useful things to people, but if it\'s people in his way, he\'ll manipulate them to get what he wants. Draco\'s \"angsty rant\" was fun to write, I\'ll say, and I\'m glad you liked it. Thanks for reading! :)
Oh man! This chapter was on-target!! Everyone was wonderfully in character. I really like your Ginny. She reminds me of the chorus in Sophoclean/Ancient Greek literature: the voice of reason and sanity within the mayhem and action. She voices more wisdom than she knows, which is great good fun to read!
The dialogue between Hermione and Draco was also very well written - an awesome improvement! (Not like the old dialogue wasn't good, but this just seemed to be more believable, I guess!)
Your vocabulary is great, by the way.
It was the lack of acknowledgment that burned her with resentment she couldn’t explain to herself. Packed full of amazing, powerful words! So eloquent!
Your vilification knows no limits. Great, again!
And the whole You're beneath me bit...oh man! That was great. I feel like dear Draco was utterly surprised for a moment but, being the cunning boy that he is, didn't let it show.
Anyways, my favorite chapter so far, for sure! Hope you had a good holiday!
Author's Response: I\'m glad you think everyone was \"wonderfully in character\", which is THE most important thing to me. As for Ginny, despite not being a fan at all of her character, through books 5-7 she speaks her mind, which gives her more of the fun dialogue to write (how\'s that for irony? I don\'t like her, but I like writing her). I\'m gratified that you think the Dramione interaction is getting better--as it should! The \"You\'re beneath me\" thing was inspired by \"Fool for Love\", an episode in season 5 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and it seemed suitable to use in the chapter. The line \"Your vilification knows no limits\" was fun to write because basically, all of the barbs that Hermione and Draco exchange are just that--vilification. (What a great way to begin a relationship...haha). Draco was indeed offended and surprised by Hermione\'s refrain of \"You\'re beneath me\", but was too proud to show it. Thanks so much for your detailed review! (And my holiday was fine, thanks). :)
Ah, new story. Where to start, where to start?
The plot, perhaps. It's a very intriguing idea, to be sure. Draco's love for Hermione equaling Harry's death? I'm already anxious to see how you pull it together.
Your vocabulary, by the way, is stunning. "heinously impossible", "shrimp-like stature", and (taking a page from your reviews), my favorite line: "The scowl itself was not unusual, but there was a certain pensiveness in his cold grey eyes that would have been unnerving to anyone who knew the now sixteen-year-old boy well." Very JKR-esque, my friend. Very JKR-esque. :)
I liked the dream - lighthouses are awesome (both literally and symbolically) and it's interesting that the steak turned into Hermione. Interesting indeed...
Everyone seems in character so far (and Blaise all hyped up about someone who can turn into a puddle at will? what good would that do *anyone*, might I ask? hahaha).
One suggestion: break up your sentences a little more. You'd be surprised how much power a short sentence can have in the midst of a few long ones.
Aaaanyways, that's all for now. Good work so far - keep it up! :)
Author's Response: Haha, my beta reader said the same thing about my rather long sentences. =D I\'ll definitely keep that in mind.
Blaise getting all hyped up about the Naturagus thing...well, it might pop in another time in the story. ;) Oh God I am saying too much...-.- Scratch all references to leaking details! xD
Thanks for the review (which I asked for, being a little petty)!! :)