Hi ... everyone! =)
My name is Sara, and I'm a Malaysian. That's located somewhere in the South East of Asia. I'm a big fan of HP, and first came to the world of fanfiction during the year 2004.
My favourite genres are Romance, and Humour. Adventure fics with a good plot and interesting characters are good in my books too.
My ships are: R/Hr and H/G. Well. That's all I read, that is. Not H/G so much, though. And lately, I've been writing about Jimmy/Demelza ... read HBP, and you'll know who I mean.
Anyhoo, if you like reaing my fics, please drop a review. Constructive critiscm is always welcome, and in short, reviews brighten up my day. =)
That said, happy fanfic reading/writing!
Sara
Hah! That was sooo much fun. Especially the slllllooooooooww mootioooooonnn part. Keep up the insanity! Whooo!
Author's Response: I got to hit the button!
Poor Harry!Being suddenly thrown into the 'future' isn't really making the situation better,poor guy.Those kids who wanted to fly are probably thinking he's a snob...
Ooh!What happens next!Oh,just to say,I added this to my favourites.:)
Author's Response: My first review! Yay! Thanks for the compliment. :)
Oooh,stubborn little creature,that Blake.*shakes head*What's the tiny key have to do with anything?
That was awesome!I was reading this in the living room,eating a bun.I had to work real hard not to laugh,cos 1.If I laughed bits of chocolate bun will fly. 2. My mum would think I'm crazy.In other words,this was one of the most hilarious things I've ever read!!!
I loved the bit about Harry helping dead Malfoy writing his lines. And McGonagall's line ... 'Don't harras the dead.' Priceless! I'm thinking that Arbitaire (that's how he's spelled, right?) and Snape are going to end up killing each other. :nods: Anyhoo, good stuff. Will hang on for next chapter. =)
Author's Response: No, that's not how it's spelled, but I'm nice, so I'll let you know it's Arbitrare. And, yes, don't harrass the dead. They come back. With pokies. And your prediction isn't entirely right...
Oh my. That was a...very tragic ending. But I really thought you would have continued this fic... for one,it's fairly boring on it's own,if you don't mind me saying...
Like, wow. You had me muttering to myself (which is a good sign!) all the way through the story! I'm really enjoying this. And, reading this, I have to say that boys are insensitive warts. Yeah, they could die in the war and all that, but STILL. Anyway, why didn't they think of PROTECTION? The sillies. I sense a really good story. And, I really like your style of writing. 10/10!
*sniff* That was sad. To think he doesn't even have his own grave! Poor Hermione! Gosh, that was sadly sweet. Good work! *wipes tear*
Author's Response: Thanks very much for the review! I am glad you liked it. The next few chapters should be more jolly, but the last one will be kind of like this one.
Wow. There's no otehr word for it - just wow. That was really original. And I mean really. I'm pretty sure that Morgan has to do with something ... something nagging at the back of my mind, but I can't remember what. I love the bit about her brother not waking up. Adds a bit of mystery to it. I know there has to be a backstory to this ... and if the reviewer below me is right, then I think I better re-read my King Arthur books again.
My favourite line in this fic is most definitely:
They were on the downswing at the moment, but soon enough they'd be moving up again.
It just stands out so ... and like Ron, I believe, even though I'm not a part of the wizarding world. =)
And as for constructive critiscm ... this fic doesn't need it. It's wonderful just as it is. I gice it a 10. And, added to my favourites!
Ah, I've been reading serious fics all day, and it's refreshing to get back to a nice little fluff-fic. I love little Alison ... she's adorable! And I'm pleased to see that she doesn't have the name 'Lily'. I've seen too many fics with little Lily Potters, and after a while, it gets a bit annoying.
Now, just a few things I want to point out:
He was a father of a beautiful, and hopefully healthy, young baby girl.
There isn't any need for the 'young' before 'baby', since that the word already shows that she is an infant.
Something I noticed was the fact that your dialogue sentences seem to end with commas instead of full stops, like so:
“Why don’t you go show everyone …” Ginny suggested. “No one has checked on us for a while,”
I noticed that this was present in quite a few paraggraphs.
Harry kissed Ali’s cheek, she then giggled.
I think this sentence would flow better if you were to replace 'she then' to 'and she'.
Alison started at it curiously. As if not knowing what to do.
And instead of two sentences, you could replace the full stop with a comma, making it into one sentence, which reads easier.
Everyone laughed again, and watched the Potter’s trying to get their daughter to walk to them.
'Potter's' should be 'Potters', since that you're speaking of the Potter family.
Overall, an enjoyable read, and like many fluff-fics, leaves a warm fuzzy feeling. Oh, and by the way ... I love your choice of Hermione's daughter's name. Erin. =)
Hullo, it's Madnessisme from MnFF here ... thought I'd drop a review! There were a few minor errors (Not much, just a bit of ... what's it called? Punctuation? Nevermind ... just the placing of commas and randomstuff and all that).
Anyhow, that aside, I find this story really fascinating. The other inhabitants of that house ... are they really dead?
Long story short, good job. Keep it up!
Author's Response: yes the other inhabitants are dead but they will show up again thanks for the review. chapter 2 is coming soon!
Wow. Just wow. I might be over-reacting, but it's true. Really, never in all my 12 months of fanfiction have I ever read a humour fic - the kind with Voldy in PJs - that made me feel so much ... suspense. Just what happened with the pinball machine? Hmmm ...
Author's Response: Wow. I feel special and awesome today. Thanks for the ego boost! Have an awesome Thursday! Or whatever day you find this...
That's just like ol' Voldemort to think like that ... and just like Ron to call anyone a ‘bloody beast with a long, rusty nail up his arse’. Really good stuff here!
I'll have to say, thsi is definitely taking a different perspective of things. I never for once thought about what Lavender might be feeling ... right, I feel guilty now. Anyhow, it's a good story, and well-written. And just how do pink bunnies come into all this? :)
Author's Response: Why Thank You! It is and interesting POV isn't it? The pink bunny shall not be revealed untill the sixth chapter ... THERE! Now You Know!
Oh wow, that really tickled my funny bone! The best part was Lavender walking up to Harry, and being o sure of her little plan ... that was hilarious. Very good job!
Author's Response: Yes... she is foolishly over confident, as you will soon find more proof of. Why thank you!
Ah, after the 'I was almost he' line, I knew that it must be Neville. That was beautiful ... but he died in the end, didn't he? If he did, I feel sorry for the little lad listening to him. Nice work.
Author's Response: He did die, indeed. I thought it would work, and I'm delighted that you enjoyed it. Yay!
This was just beautiful! The moment I read about Harry strolling into the Burrow, with his parents and Sirius, I knew that he was gone. I think you managed to portray the feelings in this fic wonderfully, and I feel both sad and utterly happy. Sad because of Harry being gone, yet happy that he has finally found peace. Really good job.
I managed to figure out that it was Snape! :is happy: The beginning is great; I could see everything in my mind's eye, Snape standing there, looking at the Cleansweep and thinking. The fact that Snape used to be Seeker is pretty original - I've never come across a fic with Seeker!Snape before. I congradulate you on adding some extra spice to a book-situation.
I only have one thing to criticise about this:
That loop would have made him hard to hit and given him a good view of the whole field.
The part of the sentence: 'hard to hit' doesn't seem to fit. Maybe something along the lines of:
That loop would have made him a harder target, as well as giving him a good view of the whole field.
Oh, and just another thing. I love the way you ended this; makes it open to all kinds of possibilities, since that you brought Quirrel into the picture. Good job!
Author's Response: Quite right about 'hard to hit" -- he sometimes slips into sounding young, especially in tense situations, but not quite that young. I'll ponder that line.
And thanks for reviewing! This was my first posted story and still one of my favorites. It made sense to me that if Severus was supposed to have been jealous of James' talent on the Quidditch field, and if he was bold enough to take on the rather risky job of referee, he probably needed to have been a Quidditch player as well. And if as small and scrawny as described in the flashes we've seen of his childhood, well, probably a Seeker.
That was so much fun! James was very in-character, and making it from Remus's point of view was a brilliant idea. Great job!