I'm a Pacific Northwest mom who has found fanfic a great escape from diaper changes and soccer practice.
I like it! The dialogue is good - believable and lively. Can't wait to see what happens.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I will try to keep up the standard.
I really like how you've developed Ginny. She's one of my favorites. Nice to see her as a strong minded, determined woman! Can't wait to read more!
What a wonderful, in-depth one shot! The premise of Lily choosing Ginny to be the one to find Harry and in essence save him was brilliant. Thank you for sharing!
I read The Griffindor Bloke at SIYE and saw you mention this one over here. Wonderful insight! Thanks for the smile!
Author's Response: You're very welcome, and you made me smile as well. :D
Diane! So nice to see you here, too! On your chapter being rejected - you can email the moderator who rejected it to ask why. Most likely it's a punctuation issue or something similar since I've read your other chpaters and the story is good. Do you have a Beta? I found with my stories, a fresh set of eyes is always helpful (I am the author who said Harry's eyes were brown, afterall! DOH!).
Anyhoo, good work!
Author's Response: HI, thanks so much for the advice. I'm going to look up your story so I can read it. Some people are so good at remembering features and birthdays of characters.......I'm not great at it. Actually, the chapter was accepted by another moderator that same night for some reason, so I still have no idea why it was rejected in the first place. I am willing to change things if I know why something isn't up to snuff, but no reason was given, so hopefully next time there is a problem, they will tell me why so I can fix it. I could use all the help I can get!! I so appreciated your kind review, it really helped make me want to keep trying to post here. This story is actually complete at over 650 pages, but it just needs editing and grammar checks now, which I try my best. Someone has offered to Brit Pick my story for me, so I accepted with much gratitude. I really apprecite your advice and I will try to find your story to read.......is it here on mugglenet? Anyway, thanks so much again!
I have to tell you, I've come back to reread this chapter because you have the best Dobby I've read. And I have to write Dobby in my own story and I'm studying yours! Nicely done!
Author's Response: Well, I hope you get what you need out of Dobby from reading mine. I'm not sure why people say they have trouble with him. I find him easy to write. Hagrid on the other hand, I'm horrid at.
Interesting! Obviously my heart lies strongly in the H/G pairings, but a little angst in life isn't bad. :) Here's to hoping this little love triangle doesn't do too much damage!
Hmm...well, you know where my loyalties lie and I have it on good authority that part of this love triangle is heading that way :). I loved the Quidditch game - very well done. The twins were a hoot with their song. I'm not sure I agree with Harry spending all that money on brooms for Harry and Ginny, though. He's embarrassed that he has more money than the Weasleys and would give it to them in a heartbeat, but giving Ron and Ginny Firebolts seems a little over the top. But then again, you could argue he's matured a bit and with that has come a desire to share the wealth? Well done - I'm looking forward to finding time to continue!
Author's Response: Quidditch scenes are fun to write. Harry buying the brooms, is a matter of him maturing. He wants to share with Ron, Ginny, and anyone else he can, and he is going to do it. He is sharing the wealth as you say.
I loved the interaction between Harry and Dobby - the negotiation was very canon. Well done! I agree that Harry and Ron are more mature than perhaps your average 16 year olds, but it's your tale and you are allowed to write them as you see fit. The one thing I do miss though is Ron and Hermione's bickering. Some relationships are built on that kind of thing. :) Nicely done.
Author's Response: Dobby is fun to write, and his weekly earnings is right out of canon. I don't write it much, if at all, but I still see in my mind that Ron and Hermione have their dissagreements, they just both back down a little quicker. Instead of the blazing rows that would leave Hermione in tears and Ron speachless, they reach an understanding.
I had to laugh simply from the chapter summary! The line about a fate worse than death and linking it to the Longbottoms was very true. And Harry - his eye on Ginny! Woohoo!!! But then, you knew I'd feel that way, anyway!
Author's Response: Some how i did know. I was going for a short but sweet approach with the chapter summary and i'm very pleased that it seemed to work.
I loved the pensive and Dumbledore's comment - very funny. It's nice to see Elizabeth looking out for Harry, too. He needs more people like that!
Author's Response: He really does, poor Harry's been left to fend for himself for far too long.
I love those nervous little flips! And Hermione as a feminist - very fitting. And Ellie is a bit of a mystery there...I'm looking forward to seeing how she fits into all of this!
Author's Response: I'm glad that your intrigued, keep reading and all shall become clear!
I can see that look McGonagall gave so clearly - of course that is what she meant! :) Glad to see Ellie has good fashion sense. And you're too hard on yourself for the song - it was very well done! Nice job!
Author's Response: Thank you! McGonagall's look was just so typical of her, i could see it in my head as well. Thanks for the encouragement on the song!
Ellie's comment about Harry inheriting Lily's thoughtfulness was sweet - he is so much like his father, but he does have his mother in him too. On to Hogwarts!
Author's Response: I think it served as a reminder that Lily had a calming effect on James, i'm so happy you like it!
I thought the sorting hat song was very well done. You'll remember I totally skipped the who sorting hat scene in my tale, so kudos to you, oh brave one!
Author's Response: It took me forever to write the song - nearly three days in fact. I've made another attempt at poetry, in a later chapter the Gryffindor Quidditch team get a new song!
Yay Harry! Yay Ron for being a good guy about it! Loved the line with Harry smiling shyly at Ginny and she grinning openly at him - that had to be good sign!
Author's Response: Ron is just happy that it's Harry she's going out with and becasue of that he can keep tabs on them. Harry is very shy when he comes to girls isn't he?
Nicely done chapter. I enjoyed the teasing with Hermione - it's nice to see her with a sense of humor!
Author's Response: Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! You and all the other reviewers are making this story so worthwhile!
“We must learn from our mistakes, that is what they are for." - As a mom, I have to say that is some very profound advice to pass on! Loved Dumbledore's humor on who to root for. And Harry's worries about shaking Cho's hand - very real. Thanks!
Author's Response: Now that you mention it, it was my mum who told me that. Dumbledore has a great sense of humour and i have had so much fun playing with it. Thank you!
You know, I forget how young Ellie is. Her lack of sensitivity in telling Harry it was the anniversary of his parents' death was a reminder of her youth. My heart broke for Harry learning that in such a manner. But I loved Ron telling him exactly what Hermione had said to say!
Author's Response: I'm really glad that you picked up on that. It can be so hard to remember how young she really is, even when you're writing her. She's only eighteen years old but because of all the stuff that's happened she's been treated like and adult since she was a child (some would argue that she still is). She has never really learned that there's a time and place for telling someone news like that and it isn't the way she did it.
The more i write the more i realise just how many of the characters from the series that i love. Writing Ron and Hermione can be so much fun.