AWESOME! That was the funniest story I've ever read on MNFF. Please update soon. Not once have I read a completed Humor fiction. It was so damn funny. I nearly died laughing, espeically when you killed Malfoy!
1,000,000/10. (Too bad that doesn't ake sense. Just call it a 10/10.
Author's Response: If you've learned one thing from my story, it's that I don't care if it makes sense! I'll take the million out of ten, thanks. And then I shall rule the world!
Snape is so suspicious... he must suspect I'm...
If you finished that sentence, would it by any chance give something of the ending away? Like Snape, I am also suspicious. Arbitare is not as dumb as we think. He's a Death Eater. I realized this after reading this for a second time.
Author's Response: I'm going to spoil something. SPOILER! Ok, now that we can talk, Arbitrare isn't a Death Eaer. Sorry. But you're right, what was missing in that sentence would spoil the ending. END SPOILERS!
Ok, I just need to say that even though you hinted Snape isn't dead, I wouldn't be surprised if he is. I have read enough to realize that no matter how much an author likes a charater, that character can still die. It doesn't make him/her safe.
Author's Response: Have you been watching a bit much 24 lately? There's a review earlier where I told somebody I would never tell Snape to drop dead. This is code for Snape will not die in this fanfic. In fact, he can do stuff that will amaze and astound!
You just got yourself another 10! How you do this, I have no idea. This is just like how JKR would write. I do think however, that Dumbledore is not being very nice to Snape. After everything Snape has done, Dumbledore lies to him. It's not nice.
I also see that you happen to like Euan Abercrombie, otherwise, you wouldn't have put him in the story so much. He's in my story too!
As usual, your several steps ahead. How do you get so many readers?
Author's Response: Thank you! That's a hell of a compliment *blushing*, and I'm really happy you seem to be enjoying it!
Euan isn't really a favorite character of mine, he was just a named character JK mentioned and I thought he'd be ok as the replacement Chaser, that's all. As for Snape and Dumbledore, Dumbledore's not lying really, he's just not telling Snape the whole truth which, incidentally, Snape isn't doing either.
As for how I get so many readers; I've got around 1500 reads for the first chapter and generally, people do seem to be reviewing. Maybe add a footnote at the end of each chappie saying thanks to those who review...?Hope that helps a bit!
Very nice, another 10.
We now know where Snape's loyalties lie...with DUMBLEDORE. Are you going to have a sequel ot this story? It's a shame for this story to end.
It was a very good story and I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: How do you know that 'rescuing' Harry isn't just a cover up...?
Thanks for the review though, (and the 10!) and there is a sequel coming very soon which I hope you'll enjoy!
Come on, would Harry really want Snape dead? Snape is one of my favorite teachers and I'm happy Voldemort doesn't believe Lucius.
Will we find out about Snape in the next chapter then?
Author's Response: Well, Harry was angry with him but no, he doesn't really want Snape dead - it was more just saying it out of anger; he didn't really mean it. He was just repeating what Ron said earlier when he was joking with Harry. And what do you mean by find out about Snape in the next chapter? Which side he's on? If that's what you mean then the answer's no, sorry.
That was a wonderful song. I rarely hear excellent rhymes like that. Where did you get that, I was amazed. Very nice, another 10.
Author's Response: Thanks for the 10! And I didn't get it anywhere, I made it up! I've also written one for the sequel too - I hope you will like that as muchwhen it's posted as well!
WONDERFUL... I hope you know though, that Harry would never tell Snape about the prohecy. I am sad about McGonagall, who'd be headmistress now. Will the sequel take place in seventh year.
That was a wonderful story and I am giving you a 10. If this doesn't raise your rating to 5 stars, I dont know what will, but to me, from 1-10, this is 100, (even though there would be no such thing.)
This is one of the most greatest stories I have ever read. Very Nice.
Author's Response: Why wouldn't Harry tell Snape the Prophecy? Snape just saved his life (for the second time) and he was planning to try and kill Voldemort himself, which cannot work. Harry's not stupid; it's often much easier telling something like that to someone who you trust but you're less freindly with than close friends and family. Maybe you're right, but I felt that, in the circumstances, Snape was the best person for Harry to tell.
Anyway, I really pleased you like it and I hope you enjoy the sequel as much!
Now that was good. A good bye kiss was a very nice time to put it. Well done indeed.
I notice Dumbledore's speech was simular to his speech in Goblet of Fire though.
I am also planning to make a FF version of Book 6, you have inspired me so much. Any advice?
I think you did very nicely and I am giving you yet another 10. This will mean that for every chapter I reviewed for, I gave you a 10, except for the chapter when I complained about too much kissing though, when I gave a 9. This is a 10 and will always be a 10.
Your Fan,
-Colin Creevey-
Author's Response: I'm pleased I got the kiss right this time!
I know that Dumbledore's speech was similar to the one in GOF but he is the same character and his speech about Cedric would, in essence, be very similar to the one in he would do later for Prfoessor McGonagall. I hope you thought it was good overall though.
Tips for writing a book 6. Umm...
Try and make the story as original as you can and do your best not to copy anyone else's ideas / use overused plotlines.
I try and write for me first and foremost but do your best to keep in mind the readers as well. Although you can picture a place or whatever really well, make sure your readers can as well by using enough descriprion. Saying that though, don't do overkill on description or the story will slow down too much.
Use twists when it's suitable to but make sure you give a reason for it:ie, by all means have Hermione suddenly getting a 'P' on all her work but give a decent reason for it.
Those are just a few suggestions and good luck with writing your own book 6!
Thanks for all the 10s (and the 9s!) and I'm so pleased you enjoyed it;
~ Stormy x
Poor Alex, he was just a small boy. Dont you have feeling for small people who have their whole lives ahead of them? I mean, that was so cruel of Voldy to do something like that. I put all the blame on him and the rest goes to me for giving you a rating of 10 FOR ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I HAVE READ. Honestly, nice plot development, haven't sees much stories better than this except the ones in my favorites.
Author's Response: Wow, thank you! And I used Alex purely to show just quite what levels Voldemort would sink to. I'm so pleased you're enjoying it and *blushing* thanks for your really great compliment! :)
Author's Response: Wow, thank you! And I used Alex purely to show just quite what levels Voldemort would sink to. I'm so pleased you're enjoying it and *blushing* thanks for your really great compliment! :)
Ok, about the romance, I'm going to give you a piece of a late chapter of mine that some romance in it.
Tulip looked at James, smiling. “Will this make you feel better?” She asked and gave him a kiss on the cheeks.
James looked at her, smiling sadly. He immediately pulled her into a big hug. “I love you Tulip.”
My point is you should cool it with the kisses. Make for hugs. It'll get boring if its only kisses. When you have a love scene, you should have them talking over some tea or Butterbeer in Madam Puddifoots or The Three Broomsticks.
At one point, and one point only, they can have a little kissing scene, like the one in Harry Potter 5.
Another quote from one of my later chapters is this:
“She actually said she admires me for my bravery,” James said, grinning.
“Did she,” Arnold said, uninterestedly.
“Did she tell you in person or to her friends?” Michael asked his voice going a bit crackly as it was near sundown.
“To her friends,” James said, looking down.
“I can tell you’re going to win her then,” Philip said, grinning. “A girl admires you and you like her, you’ve got a high chance.”
There, James found out thre girl he likes actually admires him for his endless pranks, so later on, James impressed her with some. She was happy and gave him ONE kiss, the rest are hugs. They aren't married yet so they shouldn't go as far as kissing every second of the day.
Put a bit more hugs, it'll feel better. Save kisses for more romantic parts.
By the way, I'll give you a 9 this time, but work harder on the romance scenes, I'm a big Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione fan, (too bad only one of them is true in my FF.
Author's Response: I think there were only two kisses in the entire chapter but they've been edited out now - I'll add some more romance in my book 7. Thanks for the example and I'm sorry you didn't find walking to a secluded spot of Hogsmeade romantic! I'll try and improve the romance as I know that's my main weakness with this story :)
Am I the first one to send you another review for a chapter?
You went a bit too far on the kisses. Make more hugs and less kisses. They aren't married yet so they shouldn't be kissing on every second of the day.
Make them hug more, beause that, to me, shows better love. The kiss on christmas with Harry and Ginny was great, because it announced their love, truthfully.
On a date, make them kiss once and hug more often. Kisses will get boring if they are always used in it. I too am writing romance in my story, but I'm careful to make them kiss on the right time, like when the boy or girl is feeling unhappy about something and his/her companion is attempting to cheer him/her up. Thats when I use kisses and only ONE, or two.
Holding Hand=OK
Kissing=Depend when it is used
Hugging=Great, do it more often.
I'll give you a 9.
Author's Response: Thanks for your comments and I know that my romance writing isn't exactly my strong point! I've reedited the chapter so there is no kissing at all - they've been replaced with hugs! I'll add kissing at the end of the story instead :) Thanks for the suggestions though.
The worst part of reading Fan Fiction that supports a Harry/Ginny relationship is that it makes me regret editing out their relationship in my own Story, Wizard War III.
As for Snape...I still like him. He is my favorite teacher...I think. When you made out Snape was Voldemort's most faithful servant, I didn't lke that. You took away that anger when I read that very funny 12 days of Christmas in Dark Lord style.
Very nice chapter, I am determinedly trying to make your story 5 stars, but I can't keep sending reviews. Here is another 10 for makking me feel guilty about editing out the most possible romance.
Author's Response: I'm pleased you like Snape - to be perfectly honest, I think he's a lot of fun to write and I find I can relate him quite easily (please note, that doesn't mean I'm a Death Eater!). As for Volemort's letter, I didn't really intend it to be funny. Lol, it doesn't really matter though, I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway. Thanks for the 10 (again!) and I'm sorry that you edited out the romance in your story; you could always go back and re-edit them back in though...?
Cool, I'm the first one to review chapter 14. Nice chapter, you must update soon or HEADS WILL ROLL.
Snape is really confusing me though. It seems he is a double agent. Whose side is he truly on? He said to choose the most powerful out of the two, who would that be? Dumbledore is the most powerful, this cannot be true, he must follow Dumbledore and announce his support for him. Just tell Voldemort he's a traitor and Apparate to Hogameade and RUN to Hogwarts.
Oh yeah, another 10.
Author's Response: Lol, chapter 15 is coming soon (and please let me keep my head, it'll be quite hard to write without it!)! I'm sorry if I'm confusing you, but I'm not saying which side Snape's following yet. You'll know really soon though... *dodges bullets as a result of vague answer*. Thanks again for the 10 though!
Very Nice.
In response to your question on your first romance scene, I think it was very good and it earned you another 10, call me your biggest fan.
I am about so close to losing my will and editing Harry and Ginny's romance back in my story, but you have no idea how long that will take unless you knew how long my story is, even I dont know, except that its more than 50!
I am eager for the next chapter which I will read right now unless I am interrupted. Update soon anyway.
Author's Response: *Laughing* Don't let me interrupt you from reading chapter 13! I'm glad you liked the romance though and *hopefully* chapter 14 will be up really, really soon. PS: 50 chapters?! That an encyclopedia, lol!
Update soon, however, before you go off saying Snape is a bad guy, I must tell you my theories.
"It's coming back, Karkaroffs too, clearer than ever." There were Snapes words in Dumbledore Pensieve when he was talking to Harry about it. He was obviously telling Dumbledore about the mark on his skin. If he was a bad guy, he wouldn't tell Dumbledore that, would he?
Where was he going anyway, you must update.
Further more, I'm lowering your rating to a 9.9, but since there's no such thing, I'll have to round it to the closes whole number. Congratulations, you just got yourself another 10.
Author's Response: Since when did I say Snape was a bad guy? I really don't want to say too much on this because it becomes very important later but hopefully you'll understand a little bit more about which side he's heading to by the end of the next chapter. I will say though that Voldemort is convinced he's a Death Eater while Dumbledore's convinced he's working for the Order. *Sniffs* shame about the 9.9, lol! :)
Absolutely wonderful. At first, I didn't think much of this story, but then I read it. I love humor stories. This is a perfect way to make fun of Harry Potter 3. I saw many things and say Chris Columbus could have done better.
I'll give a 10.
Update soon.
Author's Response: I less than three (<3 anybody?) your username! Thanks for reading and reviewing, Colin. Want an autographed picture? (just kidding)
Nice, very nice. I am predicting that Snape will turn bad. I would love to read about the look on Ron's face will be like when he find out Gendrath is his best friend. *cough, Harry, cough*.
I thought you'd kill Ron, and I whispered to myself, "she wouldn't dare", lol, no offense.
I'll give a 10.
Author's Response: LOL! No, I wouldn't DARE kill Ron - I'd make myslef cry!! Cheers for the review Colin, glad you liked the next chappie - I was very proud of it when I finished. :D
~Ermine the One
Cool, I'll need to check the GI warning and what it means. For some reason, I have no problem with Harry's death, nor Dumbledore's. You need to explain your new caracters though.
Another thing I really liked was the appearance of Dennis Creevey, he's my favorite charcter's little brother...as for Colin...where is he?
You didn't kill him did you? If you did, there's still time to change that, bring him back before you submit. Man if he's dead, there's no telling how many heads are going to roll. Got that! NO TELLING, more like an innuerbale amount.
This story only takes place 3 years after school that's not enough for Sirius to get married and have a daughter who happens to be 10, unless...well...to disgusting to mention in a review.
As for Dennis, to be in school is possible but he'd be seventh year...I hope you've calculated right.
Author's Response: Yep I worked that out about him being in seventh, not sixth as I originally thought - so forget that. Oh dear.
PLus, if you want to find out how Sirius has a duaghter who can be traiining to be an Auror - look at my previous responses for LOuisa Chocolate cake - they wil explain all.
No, Colinj isn't dad - and he's coming inlater - never fear!!
Thanks for the review!!
If I were in your position, here is what I would do: SPOILER: Since Snape is now an apprant bad guy, you can make it so that he had to kill Dumbledore, under the force of the Unbreakable Vow and Dumbledore was OK with it. That is so like Dumbledore, in war, sacrifices must be made. Have you heard these arguments about Snape being on the Order's side? ¨
As for Dumbledore, he was dead to begin with, so nothing is wrong. Just Snape, whom you need to edit. It's not a good idea to make two stories into one, it might confuse readers.
I may have said this before, but I didn't explain properly, so here you go.
Enjoy!
Author's Response: Right, Ok. I was thinking of just changing Snape in some way, so I'l have to do that. HOwever, I HAVE started writing a yr7 fic, which I'l get put up and it will remain completelly different!! Thanks.
~Ermine the One~