I like the concept of the story, and how you kept everything light and in canon. My favorite part was about Lecidius. Overall, it was an enjoyable read, although it jumped from topic to topic in certain areas.

I'm particulary fond of how you ended the poem. "I feel like I've just bled, bled my life away..." I thnk the ellipses added a nice touch to it. Also, you did a wonderful job of portraying Harry's emotion through-out the poem.

My favourite character in this chapter was definantly Kreacher. You did a wonderful job on his speach. However, my favourite quote has to be "I promise to never turn your hair green again." It's just makes me laugh when I think of a six-year-old version of Sirius saying this.

I think you captured Narssisa and Lucius' personalities quite well. I can see Lucius not wanting to be put in a bad light, and Narssisa wanting to stay true to her family. Then, Lucius doing it for the money and to put others on a lower scale then himself. Wonderful.

I think the plot is pretty interesting. I'm curious to know if Sirius growing up at the Malfoy's effects his house. Keep up the wonderful writing.

Author's Response: I never thought I\'d be a natural at writing Kreacher. *lol* Well given the fact that Sirius turned out the way he did despite growing up a Black - I figured the Malfoys would also fail to change him from the Sirius Black we all know and love.

Wow. I'm blown away. I'd have to say the ending was my favorite part, as it tied the whole thing together nicely. It's an interesting way to think of Lily finally going on a date with James, and it seems like something James would do to get her attention. I like the story from Remus' point of veiw, it adds a lot to the style.

Firstly, I like the set-up of the peice, it's interesting and different. What I thought was most interesting about it was how the story was narrated in third person, but in the (parenthesis) was first person-Sirius.

Although I had many favourite parts, I'd have to say my absolute favorite was:
James had run afoul of her at school a few times, and hoped she'd rot in hell.
Sirius hopes she'll rot on earth.
I think it explains Sirius and Bellatrix' relationship(or lack of one) perfectly.

I liked how you characterized Regulus- quiet, obediant, keeps to himself. On the same note, I also liked how you showed the Marauders on such a strong level of friendship. Maybe even a twinge of envy from Sirius. Overall, all the characters were completely three demensional, and had some humerous side to their story. Visualizing a boy's room in pink fluffy carpet and rose curtains certainly is funny.

Keep up the wonderful writing!

Should I feel sorry for Tom? Or should I feel sorry for Merope? Very confusing stuff. Personally, I like how you’ve represented both of them and made the choice of who to hate so painstakingly hard. I think it’s interesting how you portray Merope as being very passive. She seems to know everything that is going on, and how everything is falling apart...yet she decides to still go up to her room and just wait for him to come back to her. It’s intriguing to say the least.

The only nit-pick I found was, ‘Maybe if you left me alone though, they would be.’ I don’t think I’ve ever head someone refer to their relationship in first person as ‘they.’ Instead, I think, it should be ‘it.’

Overall, I think this is a wonderful -well, angsty- chapter. It’s an interesting thought to consider if Tom had never left Merope and the younger Tom (Voldemort) didn’t grow up in an orphange...

Author's Response: Double review?

Wow. I adored the imagery and analogies in this chapter. They were really well written. Poor Merope. Everything seemed to fit in wonderfully to describe Merope’s depression and her emotions.

I think my favourite part was how you described Merope as being isolated from the town. Even though everything and everyone around her was happy and thrilled by the holiday, she knew she couldn’t be a part of that. I’m guessing partly because she couldn’t understand what they were saying, but also because her comfortable life that she had become adjusted to had be snatched away from her. I suppose it serves her right for trying to trick Tom into loving her, but still; it’s sad.

Wonderful chapter! Keep up the fantastic writing.

Author's Response: Double review?

I thought it was interesting how you switched from past to present through-out the chapter. I think it added extra closure to the situation that was occurring. The memories of the past you selected sort of completed the story; showed us what she did in that nine months without actually taking us through every aspect of her life on the streets.

And now; a few nit picks. ‘The temperature was frigid and the ground just as old.’ I think ‘old’ is supposed to be ‘cold.’ Second, ‘Merope looked into the eyes of her new born and said in reply, “Tom, after his father…” ’ ‘New born’ should actually be ‘newborn.’

Overall, I liked the fanfic as a whole. You defiantly had an interesting way of portraying the couple’s short time together and the creation of ‘a new legend’ as you put it.

Author's Response: Thanks, I\'m glad you liked it. Yes, I made a few errors, and maybe someday I\'ll go and fix them. *sigh* But I\'m glad you liked the tense switching; I\'ve always loved doing that. Thanks for the review!

I think my favourite part in your fanfic so far is the contradictory between Tom under the love potion and Tom not under the love potion. It’s interesting to think about the different effects of loving someone might have on your personality. I think you’ve portrayed Tom’s careless attititude quite well while he’s not underneath the potion’s effects.

Being in the nit/brit-pick mood I’m in, I thought I might mention a few small errors. ‘The color of their flowers had changed many times since the couple had first come to this town.’ Color is the American spelling, however colour is the spelling you’re searching for. Also, generally you write out numbers under a hundred. So, ‘It only took him about 30 seconds to find the nearest craft cart.’ would actually be ‘thirty.’

Keep up the fantastic writing!

Author's Response: Aww, thanks. I\'m glad you\'re liking it. And, yes, I should change te \'colour\' thing, but I\'m pretty sure it\'s under twenty that you spell it out, but maybe I\'ll fix it eventually.

Wow. I like how you switched the views from Winky to Crouch through-out the fanfic. I also thought that Barty’s thoughts were an interesting addition. It sort of set up for what he was about to do.

The first nit-pick I noticed when reading your fanfic was the word house-elf. In the beginging you constantly used ‘house elf’ but towards the end you seemed to catch your error. You might want to go back and fix that. ‘He thinks just because people are calling him 'The-boy-who-lived' that he has the power to walk around and talk to just anynone's house elf.’ I’m assuming ‘anynone’ is supposed to be ‘anyone.’ And finally, ‘Ah, sir, meaning no disrespect, sir, but I is not sure you did Dobby a favor, sir, when you is setting him free.’ ‘Favor’ should actually be ‘favour.’

I thought this was definantly an interesting one-shot. Keep up the wonderful writing!

Author's Response: I guess \'interesting\' is pretty good when I wrote this so long ago. But I\'m glad that you did like it. Someday I will go through this and fix all the mistakes. Someday. Thanks for the reivew!