Oh no! *sobs* Please don’t kill Ron! What about Hermione and the baby? That would be just horrible.

But anyway, this chapter was really great! I loved that we saw what was going on through different perspectives. Ginny’s part was my favorite though – I knew that Burke was someone else when she started talking, and it was nice to see Tonks (until she was hit by a spell - *sobs again*). That said, the spells hitting a different character, and them each thinking of the person they loved was a cool bit of repetition (I guess that’s the best word). Very dramatic. =)

Can’t wait until you update!

Author's Response: I think repetition is the best word for it. I tried to make it come full circle. Honestly, my favorite part was the bit with Ginny too. Thanks for the review!

I saw your post in the Review Circle thread, and was intrigued by the title and the summary, so I came on over to read. And, I was extremely happy I did. : ] I think you did a great job keeping Hermione in character. I know it’s just the first chapter, but I thought that her letters and dialogue with Maggie were very Hermione-ish. The wording in the letters seems appropriate for not having spoken to Ron for a while, and her describing her relationship with Ron to Maggie was really good. This line especially, was one of my favorites: “Why can’t I just take a hint! Well, I couldn’t take one back at school, why should now be any different!”

Anyway, I think that this was an excellent first chapter. There was enough information to keep us intrigued, but you didn’t give too much away. It left me with some nice questions. What was their fight about, and where does Harry fit into all of this? [I wonder if he’s dead- Hermione only mentioned him once, and apologized for bringing him up…] Hopefully you’ll tell all this soon. I’ll just have to sit tight. Oh, where does Hermione work? I was wondering that- I might have completely missed it in the chapter though…

One small thing- in the first letter, this line: “Maybe it wasn't really that much of a big deal.” I would say “that big of a deal,” instead of “that much of a big deal.” I think having both big and much is a little redundant. But other than that, I didn’t see anything to critique. :]

And, I have a bad feeling that this is a piece of foreshadowing which could be unfortunate for Hermione:

"How are you? About Ron, I mean?" But I wasn't sure she really wanted to know, as she had this queer look on her face.

I think that Lavender was talking about something other than what Hermione thought. :[ I guess I’ll have to wait and see. [And I’ll be waiting eagerly!]

Well, really great story so far!

Author's Response: *hugs* Thanks for coming to check it out, Melissa - and for leaving such a lovely review! I\'m especially glad that you thought that Hermione was in character, as that\'s the thing I always worry about most. Yes - Hermione was getting a little hysterical at times - but I don\'t think I can blame her! I\'m really glad you enjoyed the first chapter, as I always find these the hardest to write, setting things up whilst keeping it interesting - and giving some information without giving away everything - so I\'m glad you thought I pulled that one off! You\'ll find out most of the answers all in due time! Although you\'re along the right lines in some of your thoughts...

I haven\'t actually said where Hermione works - it\'s not that important. But, just as some trivia, she works for the Ministry of Magic, investigating illegal activity in the north of England. There are subsections to her department, but as she is fairly high up in her job (hence why she had to move up north for her promotion) she mainly oversees everything and only takes on some of the bigger cases. Thanks for pointing that out with the sentence rephrasing - it would work a lot better like that, I\'ll change it in a minute!

I\'m glad you\'re enjoying it so far - I\'ll be sending the next chapter to my beta soon, so hopefully it will be up fairly quickly! Thanks for reviewing!

This is such a great story, and the ending is so nice! =)

Your characterization was wonderful. You made Severus seem like such a normal little kid, and gave Eileen her own personality. My favorite part though, was the interaction between Eileen and the young Snape. Their banter seems perfect for mother/son relationship. And the places where you switched back and forth didn’t ruin the flow at all, which sometimes happens with flashbacks and the like, but this was just a nice change of perspective.

I thought the undertones to Tobias’s cruelty in the beginning (We only have an hour until Father gets home, and you know how he is…”) were a nice touch to lead into the scene where you introduce him – you stayed close to what little canon fact we have about Snape’s childhood.

The fairy-tale part of the story was also very well-written. Rosalind and Philip were interesting to read about, and the minor characters like Wheedly and Leticia added something extra to the fic. You put a great wizarding spin on the Muggle tale we all love.

And I think a reviewer mentioned this below me, but the parts in between the fairy tale were definitely reminiscent of The Princess Bride. This line especially: “I’m not concerned. I’m just–Are you going to finish the story or not?” But that’s a good thing, of course. It’s my favorite movie! =)

The whole premise was so cute, and I loved reading it! Wonderful story! =D

Well, I believe the easy way to say this is that there's a reason you have 1055 (now 1056) reviews for this story. =)

I can't wait to read what happens next!

Author's Response: Haha, thanks :)

I read this a while ago and loved it, but I just read it again and really wanted to review. :0]

My favorite thing about this story was your characters. First-- Theo. I love reading fics where authors take minor characters and really give them a personality, and Theo was wonderful. I’ve never read a fic about him before, but I’m really glad I did. He had me hooked from the first line. “If you’re not one to respect authority and you become an authority, does that mean you have no self-respect?” Seriously, I was laughing for such a long time. But my favorite Theo-line would have to be: “I can’t help it; I had ancestors from Switzerland,” I say, then realise that this is not the time to be flippant. :] Anyway, Theo’s so cynical, and it provided humor to a more serious underlying theme. And watching him sort of ‘transform’ throughout the story was very cool. At first he’s the self-centered Slytherin, but then he realizes he values November’s life more than his own. Yay for Theo!

Second-- November. Since you first posted the character thread on November in Madam Pomfrey’s on the forum, I was really intrigued with her. She seems like an actual person-- probably because you said you based her a little on yourself-- and she seems like someone I’d want to get to know. She’s really fleshed out and she’s perfect for Theo. Also, I really like the fact that her name is November. It’s very cool. :]

I do have a couple nit-picks, but nothing very major.
I need a a warm, friendly hand right now.
You have a double ‘a’ right there.
and
So why, after seventeen ears without tears, am I losing my grip?
-giggles- I think you mean years, not ears. Although if you meant ears, seventeen not-crying ears would be quite a sight. :]

Also, your spacing is a bit messed up-- it’s doubled, which makes me think you edited something and the break tags attacked. It’s not a big deal, it just makes the story somewhat hard to read. :p

Other than that, I really, really loved this story. You’re such a talented writer-- both with humor and more serious things. I hope there’s more about November and Theo in the works… I really don’t want to wait until the next Guantlet. :]

Author's Response: Wow, that\'s the longest real review I\'ve ever gotten on any of my stories! Whoops, I\'m surprised that no-one else noticed my typos. Now I\'m laughing, imagining Theo with seventeen ears sticking out of his head. I\'ve had three reviews for this story today, and I haven\'t had any for it for a month, so I\'m quite excited today. Thanks so much!

Ah, Mari, that was wonderful! It was sad and heart-wrenching, but the flashbacks were so sweet. I wish I could leave you a better review than this, but I'm not supposed to be on the computer this late. :P Well, I loved it! :D

Author's Response: Ooh, thanks for the really sweet review! Yay!

Wow!

I loved this poem. It was haunting and wondefully written. Your rhymes never seemed off, and it all seemed to flow very well. I loved the repetiton of the "They've gone" line; it really added to the mood.

Two tiny things:
And talk about the drams they’d build Do you mean dreams here?

The other thing is that Muggle should be capitalized.

Other than those two nit-picks, I think you did a marvelous job! =)

Wow.

From the beginning I was drawn into this piece. Your first sentence wasn’t especially powerful or dramatic, but something about it really intrigued me. From there, I wasn’t focused on anything else but your story. =]

Dumbledore is perfect. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a first-person Dumbledore fic - although I have seen an excellent second-person, but I digress. Anyway, I thought you delved into his character wonderfully. His conversation and reaction to Snape was extremely in character, and your writing sounds exactly like him thinking. This line especially struck me as something he would say in canon. I have found in my sometimes drawn-out life that often those searching for things rarely look in the most obvious places, especially if they know you’re hiding it from them. It’s a great bit of wisdom, and something I believe to be very true.

Snape was just as good. From your other responses to your reviews, I see you were a little uneasy about your characterization of him, but I don’t see why. Like another reviewer said, Snape was Snape. The whole time I was reading, I could just see this happening – when he claims he didn’t murder Sarah, it was really reminiscent of him yelling at Harry saying he’s not a coward in HBP. I think you did an amazing job with both of them!

I did spot one little error, nothing major, just a grammar thing. I could remember only to well the guilt, though I had been considerably less at fault than he. You’re missing an ‘o’ in your ‘to.’

Well, if you haven’t gathered already, I love your writing. I think the best way to describe it, is lyrical, if that makes sense. Everything just flows perfectly, and is extremely descriptive. There are so many lines that just popped out at me as wonderful. My favorite, and believe me, it’s hard to choose, was There was the feral gleam of hatred, erupting into the echoes of violence as his fist once again bashed into my table, his voice the colour of the thunder and the texture of tidal waves. That sentence is an awesome bit of writing.

I think that’s it. Wonderful, amazing job. I look forward to reading your other stories! - Melissa

/end long, fangirlish review :D


Author's Response: Wow thanks so much for this lovely review. I don\'t even remember writing that quote, but looking back on it is one of my favorites from this peice. Wow, thanks so much for the lovely review. -VL

Wow, exciting first chapter! =)

I really like Irene so far; she seems like a very well fleshed out character, and I can't wait to see where the story takes her. I especially liked all her comments/interaction with the Marauders so far. It seems realistic to me. =)

And speaking of Marauders, I hope we get to see a little more of Irene and Remus soon. Great job!

Author's Response: Oh yay! I haven\'t got a review on this in awhile! Thanks so much for all the compliments. I hope you like the second chapter just as much as the first. However, if you check out my author page, it will show that I am on an extreme hiatus from fanfic writing, at least until my school load lets up. I hope you\'ll still be around to read the third chapter, whenever I have time to finish it. Again, thanks for reviewing!

Well you know you have to continue this next Gauntlet, right? I want to know what Theo does with his powers of death. =)

Anyway, I really enjoyed this. I love your version of Theo, and your writing never fails to make me laugh. Bringing back Sirius was a very pleasant surprise - when you mentioned it in the summary, I was thinking November, so it was a nice little twist.

So definitely much, much more fun to read this story than my history textbook, which is what I should be doing. >.>

Author's Response: Yes, I am definitely going to use Theo next gauntlet! I\'m so glad you like this... especially the Sirius part, which made me a little nervous.

Psssh, fanfiction is more fun than any textbook anyday. Except for my science textbook, which sounds suspiciously like it was written by John Cleese.